Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Umaru Doma]

Chris could play vidya in prison

I had never heard of this, but I find it hilarious that Virginia is not one of the states where you can get consoles according to the video. Should've done this in Utah, Chris.

 

[nhocgreen]

This is a quote goldmine.

View attachment 2612490

Pls make a new EPICALLY FAILED rating.

 

[ShimmyHolmes]

Well I guess Chris is taking the Old Testament he said was "more for Jewish people" a lot more seriously now that he's claiming to be one.

 

[Yizu]

"to Heal and Cleanse Barbara's health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Cuddling, Talking, and Supportive Soul Bonding to mainly Extend Her Life"

Sure, Chris, keep admitting to what you did. Eventually someone will understand.

 

[Doctor Professor Timon]

"And lastly, But Importantly, contact the local Virginia Governer of Ruckersville and Charlottesville, VA, as well as President Biden, and get me, Christine’s Body, as well as Christine, herself obviously, a FULL PARDON to get me out of this Jail and mess, Please."

Is Chris getting better?

 

[Crass_and_Champ]

I want to see how Biden will fit into CWC lore

When a couple weeks go by and Chris still hasn't been released, pretty sure we'll see an EID NEDIB EID in one of his letters...

 

[Lone MacReady]

Chris gets the same grade of meat the military gets, D.

 

[Doctor Professor Timon]

Chris gets the same grade of meat the military gets, D.

In prison, it's D for Duck.

 

[Penis Drager]

I want to see how Biden will fit into CWC lore

"Our Build Back Better agenda will ensure this country is prepared for the impending merge by investing in struggling LGBTQIA+ content creators who have been failed by the system."

I wonder who Biden's soul would merge with when it happens.

 

[Sho'nuff]

Fite me, but Chris's bi-monthly mail from jail is better content than all but the best prior sagas.

Its nice that he has expanded his God complex between these last 2 letters. He has nothing better to do than to escape into his delusions and he is diving head first into that hole with no way back out.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Fuck, the autist is REALLY starved of social contact isn't he?

 

[Sexy Potoo]

Pls make a new EPICALLY FAILED rating.

I want this added to the random.txt myself

 

[thegooddoctor]

Honestly much funnier post than last, filled with the typical Chris nonsense, but with way more references to mass shooters, funnier Blasphemous Chritian fuckery and quote goldmine ‘you all failed EPICALLY’ should be a sticker honestly. Also does chris seriously think Kenneth will respond at this point? He’s Chris’s biggest white knight for sure but I doubt even he’ll want to be within a 10 mile radius of the fucker if he knows what happened?

 

[Procrastinhater]

Ok what I've managed to decode from this fucking lunacy is
>Chris is likely being protected in exchange for sexual favors.
>Chris has found a group of fellow insane people to hang with.
>They have a prayer rug.
>Jail food is still jail food.
>Chris is begging for money.
>Chris just invited a load of weens to Barbs house to bother her.
>Chris once again admitted to fucking his mom and incriminated himself. Again.
>Chris wants people to write to the Corpse of Joe Biden to get him a pardon.

I need a fucking drink.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Fuck, the autist is REALLY starved of social contact isn't he?

His entire world kinda crashed on him.

Remember, literally days before he was arrested he was fucking his mom and on track to go to his personal nerd mecca with 5 large and a personal army of fans waiting to spoil him for a weekend. He was about to get everything he wanted, and possibly more. Then he's in jail. And now it's not like before. They won't let him leave.

He created a fake universe to go to a con Covid canceled. He cried over a class reunion based off a power point slide.

With his sense of entitlement, you'd think the perceived injustice of missing Everfee alone would have given him a heart attack or pushed him into early onset dementia.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Well, I've got some good news for y'all. I made a few calls and I was able to get in touch with President Biden. Our lord and savior Jesus Christ, as well as Christine, are going to receive full presidential pardons. However, Christine's body will remain in the Jail of Fail. Sorry, that's the best I could do.

 

[L50LasPak]

What could've helped that alternate timeline along is Chris not winning the sweepstakes.

There's a grim possibility that Chris was deliberately selected as the winner of that contest because it would make for a more glurgey news story for the company.

Would really cast all this shit in a different light if true. Its not like we'll ever know for sure though.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

The Godbear's chosen little boy has come a long way.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Prayer rug? Is Islam up next?

 

[anti SJW]

Can Chris telling people to go to the house that he is legally ordered to stay away from be considered a violation of it?