Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Mr. Bung]

Chris is experiencing some major, major levels of cope.

Consider how angry and frustrated he was as classic Chris, and how entertaining he was as a lolcow. Then he became Christine and his anger and frustration stabilized. He was more cray cray, but also calmer and much less likely to go off on trolls.

Now he's in prison and facing a very lengthy jail time, while also being separated from his mother and his home, both of which he had pretty much all his life. He's gone full blown thinking he's Jesus to cope with all that. It's how he survives, he delves into his mind and pulls out whatever he can to make him feel comfortable, then makes that reality. He's been doing it for years now.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

That "Goddess journal" he's apparently been writing in is a new relic for sure. Somehow its contents need to be documented in the future. I'm sure it will be as revelatory as the words of the real Jesus Christ.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Is he allowed to have a manual typewriter. Not an electric one, truly manual? I mean, reading these letters is just painful.

Imagining Chris using that thing. He'd get ink all over himself in a matter of seconds.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

hey @Epic Fisting Man

The letter is dated 10/4, but the thread title says it's dated 10/10.

 

[Jack Awful]

If I were given this and asked to question if this person was sane or faking. It actually reads more like faking then real insanity. He goes on his I'm Jesus shit, but then has entire practical sections asking for money. Someone insane enough to believe they are Jesus would beleive it to the point that they emulate him. They are the type of people who will refuse to eat because they believe they can make food out of nothing, etc. They take on all aspects of him as media/bible states it should be.

Chris just adapts his favored parts of whatever ideas he's exposed to into his current canon.

He likes the idea of being Jesus because it lets him be the most important and powerful man in history, the son of god, and the savior of all mankind.

Same way he adapted Christianity before. He ignored the parts about masturbating, greed, sloth, etc. being sins and latched onto the idea of a benevolent god that loved him and hated the gays.

I'm not a psychologist, but Chris seems to believe this as much as his other delusions, which either means fully or as a cope to escape the shit reality he's created for himself.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

hey @Epic Fisting Man

The letter is dated 10/4, but the thread title says it's dated 10/10.

It got split from another thread I think the mod / admin that split it made a mistake. It also looks like there is a 2 day delay from it getting written to franked - Did chris have to pay for this by the way or does he get X number of free stamps a month?

 

[LadiosSopp]

Imagine what would happen if you fed one of those AI story-generating bots 40,000 hours of Chris' ramblings.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

hey @Epic Fisting Man

The letter is dated 10/4, but the thread title says it's dated 10/10.

Kengle received the letter on the 10th and that's where he announced it on his site. That's why the mods put it at 10.

I originally linked the site in the OP, but Null decided it's best not to feed Kengle any attention.

Also, fellow Onions, as in himself and {oP}.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

That "Goddess journal" he's apparently been writing in is a new relic for sure. Somehow its contents need to be documented in the future. I'm sure it will be as revelatory as the words of the real Jesus Christ.

You know that episode of the x-files where they supposedly had a recording of Jesus on a clay pot? yea that.

Imagine what would happen if you fed one of those AI story-generating bots 40,000 hours of Chris' ramblings.

If there any open source AI bots for that? I'd be willing to give it a go.

 

[Uncle Meat]

Malachai 4:2 But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves.

The more accurate translation of well-fed calves would be fat lolcows.

 

[Black Simp Bellamy]

Imagine what would happen if you fed one of those AI story-generating bots 40,000 hours of Chris' ramblings.

We'd probably have the worlds first case of an AI teaching itself to die.

 

[Victim2988]

I'm more interested in what the other inmates think of him, and getting a... more lucid version of events. I'm sure there's some dude in there doing a few months for possession who would report back in exchange for some commissary money

I was also thinking about this, but then I considered the fact that for a few bucks these guys will tell you crazy stories just to make you send more $$$ so they can tell you more.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

View attachment 2613303
Peak autist, like summoning his imaginary friends to save him.
I think someone made a good point of Chris being the product of his time and parents.
He was the product of his time when schools did not know how to deal with one such as him.
Unfortunately now we have swung the opposite way.

I dare someone to recite this "we didn't start the fire" style.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

I'd be intrested to know what happens to it know, it's doubtful that Barb will still be alive when he's released so I want to know how he'll react when the place get's taken over by the Bank and all his stuff is tossed away - He will scream with rage over his stuff being tossed more than he'll cry over Barb's passing.

Unfortunately I think there's a good possibility the toy hoard will hang on. Barb is one of those tough old Southern bitches that lives forever and sustains their lifeforce on spite, she's going to be around another 15 years probably. I don't see Chris' junk actually leaving the house until she dies and by that point Chris will either be homeless, in which case he'll loose it all, or be in a small apartment where he'll try to drag it all in but be physically unable to and either have to put it in storage or loose part of it.

 

[Ted Kaczynski]

Damn this shit is psychotic. Like, he's getting crazier in there. God damnit chris, why did you have to do this!

The worst part is how he refers to himself as a "body" as if sonichu is possessing him. I know he believed this before prison but you'd think he would shed his retarded weird schizo beliefs during prison time with little outside influence

 

[Kramer on the phone]

Chris is a lot more normal than we thought. When Null didn't want to play with him anymore Chris fucked off to Onion Farms just like the rest of us. Honestly i think its for the best; i'd love to know APC's or Sig's take on this

 

[daBonehead]

So now Chris is a man who is a woman (Christine) who is a goddess (CPU Blueheart) who is a man/god (Jesus)

Having nothing but the bible to read in prison hasn't done him any favors.

 

[Meowzers]

what the fuck, chris

 

[and 15 others]

Nothing really new to say, just Chris repeating more of what was already said except it's addressed to Kengle. I assume it's because Kengle is probably one of the only people in the world who would actually bother to write back.



View attachment 2612413View attachment 2612414View attachment 2612415View attachment 2612416View attachment 2612417View attachment 2612418View attachment 2612419

>Sinners need to be judged
>Adultury and rape good

What did he mean by this?

 

[Krispum Western Chumbler]

Is Chris a fucking master mind troll or has he totally lost his shit? Yall niggas ass patting him the last 3-4 years on this merge bullshit has totally fucked him up. Not mad tho, this mother fucking has been quality tard coom!!!!