Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Tikbalang]

"ALL prayers to Jesus have been going to Christine for nearly 40 years now"

I don't know how Chris defines praying. Many prayers are just requests, very few are simping to gods. I guess Chris prefers the latter and treat the former as spam.

It's a good thing that he doesn't openly touch islam, otherwise he'll get out of the prison in a bodybag.

 

[Super Guido]

This is a good idea for C. Weston Chandler's next arc.
Is Sonichu going to be rebranded as Xenuchu?
Dianetichu would be obviously Rosechu.
Is Null a thetan or Tom Cruise?

Chris would label Null as a Suppressive Person in Scientology.

 

[KaiserC]

I Know Everything, though Christine knows more from her experiences since our extended separation since September 16, 2021.

Ooooooohhh. I said before that when the judge told him in this date that he'd be addressed as male because of the official documentation, Chris probably sighed and said ok. Years of trans change undone because of bureaucracy.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I honestly think it's disassociation and a coping mechanism more than something like schizophrenia or psychosis. Chris' behavior has always been learned through his environment, and being coddled and egged on his delusions seem a lot worse than they are. He's saying he's Jesus and a bunch of other nonsense which seems insane, but if you read between the lines it's clear to see he's doing what he can to cope and not deal with the weight of his situation.

Isn't it just as bad as psychosis or schizo? Chris can only lean on his delusional coping for so long. What would happen when reality hits? Will he snap?

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

Nothing really new to say, just Chris repeating more of what was already said except it's addressed to Kengle. I assume it's because Kengle is probably one of the only people in the world who would actually bother to write back.



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Lmao he played solitaire on a muslim prayer rug and called it humbling

 

[King Kiwi]

Isn't it just as bad as psychosis or schizo? Chris can only lean on his delusional coping for so long. What would happen when reality hits? Will he snap?

Reality will never hit.

If prison, losing all his friends and family, his home freedom and 98% of his possessions isn't enough to wake him up, nothing will.

I'm not sure even when he's officially sentenced it's going to really impact him, or if he's holding out some hope that he'll get out of this.

It's been 2 months of incarceration and he's only gotten worse.

Only imminent death would probably make him admit to his mistakes and only to save his own life; but he really wouldn't mean it even if he could understand it.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Who here thinks that Chris probably already most likely bragged to his fellow inmates that he is famous and he has millions of fans worldwide and that theres a website dedicated to him and youtube documentary of him

and they all started looking him up and go down that rabbit hole since they got nothing else to do.

They'd probably be like everyone else: "This guy deserves to be here." The inmates would try to get at him for raping his mom in the name of the lord.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

IDK why Chris is hating prison so much. From what I hear from my neighbor who did a few stints in the clink, it's just like high school, except no girls. Chris' peak was high school, he should be happy to be there.

 

[idosometimes]

What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining Sins and regrets through Cuddling, Talking, and Supportive Soul Bonding to mainly Extend Her Life; personally, by Divine Intervention.

I am not an attorney or anything, but I doubt it is a good idea to admit in writing that you were r'ing your mom to "Extend Her Life." Especially after admitting to others that your mom was your heartsweet.

Isn't it just as bad as psychosis or schizo? Chris can only lean on his delusional coping for so long. What would happen when reality hits? Will he snap?

he has done this his entire life. This is how he deals with reality. Chris experiences the world and makes up another one to his liking in his head. Not that I need to bring it up again, but someone saw him standing around daydreaming in high school and threw a basketball at his head. Chris has always been in his own little world even when he was around other people. Remember the semi-formal at the pony thing? Yeah. He had loads of not exactly prime [vagina] and maybe some decent bussy around him and chose to dance with the one he brought in his mind instead.

Chris has nothing outside of sonichu and ponies now. He has lost his only close relative, most supportive person, and personal fleshlight now that he is unable to be around his mom. The world will be him talking to himself and experiencing the joys of whatever sonichu is doing.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Isn't it just as bad as psychosis or schizo? Chris can only lean on his delusional coping for so long. What would happen when reality hits? Will he snap?

Reality will never hit.

Chris' entire life has been about avoiding reality, he never learned a thing from his own birth to incarceration. Breaking him out of this bubble might as well break him, not even prison could break his delusions, his coping mechanism is that strong!

As long as the Tugboat and 14 BC still stand, waiting for him, Chris will stay in his own delusions. Like with everything on Chris' life, it's complicated, on one hand he is a genuinely terrible person with a colossal sense of entitlement whose life could be described as a long string of terrible decisions leading to equally terrible results, but on the other hand Chris is, mentally speaking, a child who never grew up, which really complicates things!

His moment of realization might simply never arrive, even now there are people that still support him. If he gets a slap on the wrist just like last time, it will only make these delusions stronger. It's complicated, but the odds are against him even if he wins the case lol!

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

IDK why Chris is hating prison so much. From what I hear from my neighbor who did a few stints in the clink, it's just like high school, except no girls. Chris' peak was high school, he should be happy to be there.

From what I know, high school was peak for Chris because of all those girls that would take pity on him and hang around. Now he’s in hell (Baator, not the Abyss).

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

From what I know, high school was peak for Chris because of all those girls that would take pity on him and hang around. Now he’s in hell (Baator, not the Abyss).

But he's the girl now, dawg

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Chris' entire life has been about avoiding reality, he never learned a thing from his own birth to incarceration. Breaking him out of this bubble might as well break him, not even prison could break his delusions, his coping mechanism is that strong!

As long as the Tugboat and 14 BC still stand, waiting for him, Chris will stay in his own delusions. Like with everything on Chris' life, it's complicated, on one hand he is a genuinely terrible person with a colossal sense of entitlement whose life could be described as a long string of terrible decisions leading to equally terrible results, but on the other hand Chris is, mentally speaking, a child who never grew up, which really complicates things!

His moment of realization might simply never arrive, even now there are people that still support him. If he gets a slap on the wrist just like last time, it will only make these delusions stronger. It's complicated, but the odds are against him even if he wins the case lol!

Mark me late for saying this: but, yeah, Chris is a lost cause. By the time Chris reaches 50, he'll most likely be in a home.

 

[Cackman]

"Jail of Fail"

If Null ever feels like he wants to rebrand the Kiwifarms...

 

[FightenGnome]

Welp, I'm fully convinced now that Chris is going to Hell. Not merely purgatory or a layer of Hell were you get whipped by a succubus for watching too much porn hell either but the Hell of blasphemers and false prophets where you're permanently place in a lake of lava as demons flay you alive and Satan shits down your throat for all eternity type of Hell.

 

[RumZeis]

Awww shieet we EPICALLY FAILED BROS!!!

 

[Stan]

Finally, Chris Chan set up a religion that makes sense. I can’t wait to call my Catholic family and tell them that while Jesus is just OK, CPU goddess blue heart Sonichu Jesus is fkin

 

[A Flying Nun]

Alriiiiight, Papa Smurf made it onto the Lord's list of his Chosen on page 2 of his letter.

Really happy for Papa Smurf.

 

[The handsome tard]

This letter is a whole lot funnier.


"...contact the local Virginia Governor of Ruckersville and Charlottesville, VA, as well as president Biden, and get me, Christine's Body, as well as Christine, herself obviously, a FULL PARDON to get out of this Jail and mess"

Lol! Chris wants Kengle to contact Biden to get him out of jail.

It's the second time Chris thinks the current president will bail him out of a pickle...how fucking bizarre is that?

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Even in jail, Chris still grifts?