Lolcow Lee Goldson / Barneyfag / x86x2 / Revved - Barney Hatewatching Gigantic Autist & Aspiring 4chan Janitor

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Does it make me a horrible person if I kind of want him to have a heart attack just so his cause of death is listed as "Barney related stress?"

Not really, I think most of us are by this point.

 

[x86x2]

If Barney never existed, it'd be something else. It'd be Teletubbies, or Thomas the Tank Engine, or Blue's Clues. Hell, it would likely be something not even for preschoolers. It could be fucking anything.

Nah, not really. I don't think a lot of shit bothered me that much before I saw just this flood of Barney during high school. I don't think I had exposure of that magnitude to anything else against my own will.

As long as the purple dinosaur menace still draws breath, there can be no peace.

Pretty much. It's not dead just yet. He may be gone from Sprout, but there's still another DVD coming out next week, and a selection of episodes have just been put up on iTunes.

Sonic is technically still a thing.

Barneyfag is mad at something that doesn't even exist anymore.

Not necessarily. It's still a thing, but it's just clinging on. He performs live shows at the CNE, DVDs are still being released and he tours in Asian countries.

 

[MegasHant]

I don't think I had exposure of that magnitude to anything else against my own will.

Wait, so you're saying that you were exposed to Barney against your own will? How is that even possible?

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Wait, so you're saying that you were exposed to Barney against your own will? How is that even possible?

That's the thing we all want to know, yet he keeps tapdancing away from the questions.

This isn't hard @x86x2, all you got to do is be truthful and tell us these things. We may mock you more the better the answer is.

 

[Gensdupays]

Wait, so you're saying that you were exposed to Barney against your own will? How is that even possible?

He's lying. He could have left at any time or done any number of things.

That's the thing we all want to know, yet he keeps tapdancing away from the questions.

This isn't hard @x86x2, all you got to do is be truthful and tell us these things. We may mock you more the better the answer is.

He'll just come up with another story about how he's fine, has a job, and is a good person. Speaking of job, tell us what IT work you do, @x86x2.

 

[Conrix]

He'll just come up with another story about how he's fine, has a job, and is a good person. Speaking of job, tell us what IT work you do, @x86x2.

Saving cyberspace from the Purple Satan.

 

[Tailypo]

Pretty much. It's not dead just yet. He may be gone from Sprout, but there's still another DVD coming out next week, and a selection of episodes have just been put up on iTunes.

The fact that you even know that is just sad.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

I don't think I had exposure of that magnitude to anything else against my own will.

Have you ever tried ignoring it? I was exposed to Soulja Boy back when I was in middle school but I do not have an irrational hatred toward Superman or rap because, even though I thought it was absolute shit and the people who liked it had questionable tastes, I didn't think it was worth dedicating my life toward.

You know, like with you and Barney.

 

[AnOminous]

He's lying. He could have left at any time or done any number of things.

He's even repeatedly admitted that "against his will" shit is a total lie. It was just on because a literal retard was watching it at the computer within his vision. He didn't even have to be in the same room!

What a lying sack of shit, ruining his life for lunacy that he even admits he basically made up.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Have you ever tried ignoring it? I was exposed to Soulja Boy back when I was in middle school but I do not have an irrational hatred toward Superman or rap because, even though I thought it was absolute shit and the people who liked it had questionable tastes, I didn't think it was worth dedicating my life toward.

You know, like with you and Barney.

Trust me, he'll find a way to claim that people are forcing him not to ignore Barney. When in reality, he himself is doing this willingly.

 

[Adamska]

If he's claiming to be IT, I bet he's claiming his time on 4chan is his job. He's proven to be a lying closet case and genuine moron already, so it wouldn't shock me if him being employed is a lie too.

 

[Ruin]

Anyone want to bet this guy is known as "that Barney retard" around his university campus?

 

[Adamska]

Anyone want to bet this guy is known as "that Barney exceptional individual" around his university campus?

I like to think he stays holed in his room except to get food and you can hear him scream about Barney or gasp his name in ecstasy depending on the situation.

 

[Gensdupays]

Anyone want to bet this guy is known as "that Barney exceptional individual" around his university campus?

He claims to not go to University of Toronto, so pretty much any other university in the area that he claims to be in would be small enough for him to get a reputation like that.

I like to think he stays holed in his room except to get food and you can hear him scream about Barney or gasp his name in ecstasy depending on the situation.

He never confirmed if his job was IT or not, but it absolutely has to be. He hates that he has to sleep, is going prematurely grey, and is genuinely mentally ill "because" of Barney. If he weren't so thickheaded he would go get help.

The problem is that I think that he's functional enough to have a thin veneer of being able to function relatively enough and thus can hide his many mental problems from people who would otherwise see red flags.

 

[Rin]

Not necessarily. It's still a thing, but it's just clinging on. He performs live shows at the CNE, DVDs are still being released and he tours in Asian countries.

See, the thing that gets to me about this is the way that he refers to Barney as "he." It's clear that it's specifically the character he's thinking of, instead of the whole franchise.

You do know that Barney isn't actually real, right?

 

[Conrix]

See, the thing that gets to me about this is the way that he refers to Barney as "he." It's clear that it's specifically the character he's thinking of, instead of the whole franchise.

You do know that Barney isn't actually real, right?

I like to think he's thinking of the character because he secretly wants to suck purple dino dick.

He hates that he has to sleep, is going prematurely grey, and is genuinely mentally ill "because" of Barney. If he weren't so thickheaded he would go get help.

That's part of the reason why I proposed a version of the Necrons for Revved in the Sperghamer 40,000 thread. Imagine an entire race of Doom Revenants with laser rifles who are literally so triggered by a cosmic Barney that they keep prematurely aging and dying (the cosmic radiation is helping that right along too), so they had to put themselves into skeleton robots to live on. And they're still triggered by Barney like 69 millenia after they had killed him with the biggest, baddest, edgiest superweapon they could build.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

Anyone want to bet this guy is known as "that Barney exceptional individual" around his university campus?

I want to believe that maybe, just maybe, he's smart enough to recognize that parading his obsession over a purple dinosaur costume would be extremely unwise.

 

[TheProdigalStunna]

I'm curious as to how @x86x2 qualifies what is and isn't "Barneyshit." He seems to indicate that just a few degrees of separation by the most petty connections can absolutely ruin a piece of media, a person, or an entire state for him. Let's try out his beloved Doom.

The film version of Doom starred Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Johnson has appeared in Wizards of Waverly Place
The Wizards of Waverly Place stars Selena Gomez
Selena Gomez appeared in season 7 and 8 of Barney.
Ergo, Doom is Barneyshit

Spoiler: Trigger Warning

 

[Meowthkip]

Nah, not really. I don't think a lot of shit bothered me that much before I saw just this flood of Barney during high school. I don't think I had exposure of that magnitude to anything else against my own will.

But you've said they watched plenty of other, non-Barney shows, like Everybody Loves Raymond. But you don't have all-consuming hatred for Everybody Loves Raymond.

Spoiler

Possibly because everybody loves him?

Have you ever tried ignoring it? I was exposed to Soulja Boy back when I was in middle school but I do not have an irrational hatred toward Superman or rap because, even though I thought it was absolute shit and the people who liked it had questionable tastes, I didn't think it was worth dedicating my life toward.

You know, like with you and Barney.

I, too, used to hate Soulja Boy. Then I learned to love him and embraced the Soulja.

If you can't beat 'em, superman that ho.

I'm curious as to how @x86x2 qualifies what is and isn't "Barneyshit." He seems to indicate that just a few degrees of separation by the most petty connections can absolutely ruin a piece of media, a person, or an entire state for him. Let's try out his beloved Doom.

The film version of Doom starred Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Johnson has appeared in Wizards of Waverly Place
The Wizards of Waverly Place stars Selena Gomez
Selena Gomez appeared in season 7 and 8 of Barney.
Ergo, Doom is Barneyshit

Spoiler: Trigger Warning

I bet Barney has huge guts.

 

[x86x2]

Have you ever tried ignoring it? I was exposed to Soulja Boy back when I was in middle school but I do not have an irrational hatred toward Superman or rap because, even though I thought it was absolute shit and the people who liked it had questionable tastes, I didn't think it was worth dedicating my life toward.

You know, like with you and Barney.

It's most likely due to the fact that here, I had been trying to avoid it for the longest time and for the most part succeeded until high school came along and Barneyfags shit up everything.

Anyone want to bet this guy is known as "that Barney exceptional individual" around his university campus?

I literally have not told a living soul IRL about what I do here, so nope. In fact, no one would even have a clue that I have a fixation on Barney at all.