Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

Q_Anon1001 said:
Randy Stair Theory? I figured most people already knew he would larp with Espeon about fighting interdimensional battles with Stair's spirit ghost or whatever
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It's not about Sean (not directly, at least), it's a theory that the "soul partner" he's alluding to is actually Randy Stair/"Andrew Blaze" (as an imaginary friend), and some of the lines Chris said were hints at that, much like how he hinted that his new lady friend was Barb in that chat with Null over the summer.

I made a post about it earlier that goes into it-
 
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I have a couple different theories on what to expect in the future of "Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu".

1) Schizoprenia/Psychosis Route:
Christine is going on full-on schizophrenic or having a psychotic episode due to isolation and retreating further in his head. They fully and truly believe the what they wrote; likely due to having nothing but the Bible to read, Jesustine has branched out and formed another escape in their imaginary mental retreat. They now believe that their struggles are equivalent to Jesus and are martyring themselves for our sins. Personally banking on this as the highest likely scenario due to their word salad, strange mental leaps, and sudden religious enthusiasm to the point of likening themselves to a religious figure.

2) Insanity Route:
Christine is writing this, likely with the guidance or advice of his lawyer, in order to solidify a case for an insanity plea. In this case, the lawyer would likely let Christine do what they normally do (be fucking insane) and take a laissez faire approach. It is possible but not as likely that the lawyer may be helping contribute to this insanity in hopes of using it as a defense.

3) 200 IQ Route:
They're actually so far above us that we cannot comprehend the scale of what they is trying to explain to us mortals. We may think of this as a joke, but the merge is coming, and we are too late to stop it. Jesus is back for Round 2, but now they go by Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu. May our sins be zapped away.
 
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snowflake3114 said:
I wonder if the commissary offers coloring markers so Chris can finish more Sonichu comics while in prison on his genuine Turkish rug.
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Yes they do
You can actually look up what his options for commissary are online.
There's actually a wide range of things you can buy from commissary from television to radios to even game consoles. Commissary isn't just food.
 
GypsyBard said:
Yes they do
You can actually look up what his options for commissary are online.
There's actually a wide range of things you can buy from commissary from television to radios to even game consoles. Commissary isn't just food.
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TV and game console please
 
ToroidalBoat said:
What could've helped that alternate timeline along is Chris not winning the sweepstakes.
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I don't really get this one tbh. I think it's a bit of a stretch to claim that this one event was a catalyst. I guess the argument that it led to future habits might be correct, but even so, it misses the bigger picture

Raising your child right is far more important than the results of some '90s SEGA sweepstakes. Besides, kids used to enter into this kind of stuff all the time.
 
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anon4890201 said:
I think it's a bit of a stretch to claim that this one event was a catalyst. I guess the argument that it led to future habits might be correct, but even so, it misses the bigger picture
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Another catalyst is Chris inventing Sonichu because "no copyrighted characters on the CD cover project".

I think it's crappy choices, circumstances beyond control, and those events that made "Chris-Chan".
 
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Glassshardballpit said:
TV and game console please
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Not in a jail, I know in my state inmates can buy a TV if they're in state prison. I can't think of any selling game consoles but I think one of the private prison operators sold them back in the day.

I found a commissary list for another Virginia jail for reference, I didn't see one specifically for CVRJ but it's probably identical.

 
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Cask of Amontillado said:
And another thing: why would Chris-Chan bring up ProjectSNT in that letter when it's clear that ProjectSNT wants nothing to do with Chris-Chan?
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Why does he bring up Dr Wolf, who clearly wants nothing to do with Chris either? Or even Lightning Bliss, who at best seems to tolerate him grudgingly?

It's because Chris still wants to cling on to his desperate fantasy that they're all besties and he's a beloved Brony Analyst.
 
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BigTubboWithLittleChina said:
Why does he bring up Dr Wolf, who clearly wants nothing to do with Chris either? Or even Lightning Bliss, who at best seems to tolerate him grudgingly?

It's because Chris still wants to cling on to his desperate fantasy that they're all besties and he's a beloved Brony Analyst.
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it's almost like he's in such a dire situation that the only thing he can do is pretend---

Okay.
 
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Yakui the Maid said:
I have a couple different theories on what to expect in the future of "Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu".

1) Schizoprenia/Psychosis Route:
Christine is going on full-on schizophrenic or having a psychotic episode due to isolation and retreating further in his head. They fully and truly believe the what they wrote; likely due to having nothing but the Bible to read, Jesustine has branched out and formed another escape in their imaginary mental retreat. They now believe that their struggles are equivalent to Jesus and are martyring themselves for our sins. Personally banking on this as the highest likely scenario due to their word salad, strange mental leaps, and sudden religious enthusiasm to the point of likening themselves to a religious figure.

2) Insanity Route:
Christine is writing this, likely with the guidance or advice of his lawyer, in order to solidify a case for an insanity plea. In this case, the lawyer would likely let Christine do what they normally do (be fucking insane) and take a laissez faire approach. It is possible but not as likely that the lawyer may be helping contribute to this insanity in hopes of using it as a defense.

3) 200 IQ Route:
They're actually so far above us that we cannot comprehend the scale of what they is trying to explain to us mortals. We may think of this as a joke, but the merge is coming, and we are too late to stop it. Jesus is back for Round 2, but now they go by Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu. May our sins be zapped away.
Click to expand...

Unironically calling him “Christine” :c
 
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I've been thinking all day about what those letters would look like in printed form if published in the style of MLK's "Letter From Birmingham Jail" and most importantly, how would Chris name such an important document. After a couple of beers, this is what I've come up with.
1633994073677.png
 
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