That sounds less like a threat and more like an act of mercy at this point.
One fine day, black clouds rolled across the sky like a squid squirting a Japanese girl with ink. People looked up with astonishment, their mouths agape with confusion.
Then they saw a vessel traveling across the sea of aerial blackness above their heads. It was unlike anything the people expected to see as it was a brown street car not unlike the ones you’d see navigating the hills of San Francisco. It stopped right above their heads and those who looked closely could see an elderly man wearing a green sweater at its helm. He opened the door to the car and stepped out into the air.
“It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…”
His voice carried soothingly across the sky. Suddenly people found themselves floating off the ground. Not everyone was floating. In fact, most of the people stayed on the ground. Friends were separated from friends and family separated from family. Some people held onto the floating individuals like Afghan refugees holding onto airplane landing gear but they eventually lost their grip and plummeted to earth.
“A beautiful day for a neighbor…”
Suddenly the soothing tone gave way to terror as fissures spread across the ground. Streets cracked and buildings fell into sinkholes taking their hapless occupants with them. And from those cracks rose lava. People stuck on the ground found themselves dissolving into burning acid lava like that one movie where a volcano erupts under Los Angeles.
“Would you be mine?”
The lava spread among the now-damned populace as their cries of terror diminished one by one. Meanwhile the people floating in the air could only watch the carnage unfolding beneath their feet.
“Could you be mine?”
The burning ball of fire that was earth crumpled in on itself and collapsed into nothing. But in its place grows a new world with lush green lands and blue seas not seen since the dawn of man. The floating people found themselves gently placed on earth where they looked up to Mr. Rogers and asked “Why?”
Mister Rogers looked down on them and smiled. “It’s because I was surrounded by bad neighbors. I saved you all because I knew you’d be good neighbors. Now be good to each other or I’ll have to pay your neighborhood another visit.”
And with that Mister Rogers hopped back on his street car and rode back into the great neighborhood in the sky.