Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 792 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,392
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i find it hilarious that they have "men's meetings" and "women's meetings" at this church

not much difference between the "christianity" these motherfuckers follow and sharia law
 
Where is the salt?

Also I can understand putting coffee into a rub, as it has a nice roasted earthy tone to round out the flavors. Now when I think of coffee itself or an ingredient im not thinking of chocolate exactly, although dark chocolate is bitter however coffee has tanins and acidity that help in flavoring and tenderizing meat. Maybe this manchild still has chocolate on his mind after he was told no at Aldi. He went as minimal as hell with this when ive seen him make rubs with more ingredients, but as he passively mentions he doesnt really want to do this so hes half assing it. He just wanted good boy points and now got stuck cooking his weekly meat portions on a mens group.

All of this mess reminds me of when you have a big cookout and you have a kid mix a few things together while the adults cook and assemble the meal. Jack basically mixed 4 things he likes and wanted at that moment and patted it on meat. His wife did all the work. Now they have a ton of off seasoned CHURCH MEAT.
 
do none of the Scalfanis drink? i thought it was just Jack. and i always got the vibe from the way he says it that there’s a reason.
Where is the salt?

Also I can understand putting coffee into a rub, as it has a nice roasted earthy tone to round out the flavors. Now when I think of coffee itself or an ingredient im not thinking of chocolate exactly, although dark chocolate is bitter however coffee has tanins and acidity that help in flavoring and tenderizing meat. Maybe this manchild still has chocolate on his mind after he was told no at Aldi. He went as minimal as hell with this when ive seen him make rubs with more ingredients, but as he passively mentions he doesnt really want to do this so hes half assing it. He just wanted good boy points and now got stuck cooking his weekly meat portions on a mens group.

All of this mess reminds me of when you have a big cookout and you have a kid mix a few things together while the adults cook and assemble the meal. Jack basically mixed 4 things he likes and wanted at that moment and patted it on meat. His wife did all the work. Now they have a ton of off seasoned CHURCH MEAT.

i also love how he has that text saying “use equal parts of each ingredient” for the rub, and does exactly the opposite.
 
That awkward shoulder lean right before the title card. Jack is trying so hard to show us that his stroke arm works. He's also trying hard to prove that his smoker hoarding has a reason, even though he can't even remember what they are. "This is the Pit Boss vertical smoker, and it is the, uh, I think it's, uh, copper something?" Jack thinks pulled pork is a type of cut apparently. Tammy ends up doing most of the work, Jack makes her double wrap the meats afterward for some specious reason. Declared a success without even cutting anything open.
 
Fucking CHURCH MEAT, that's an incredible title. The trademark Jack Scalfani routine of forgetting the ingredients in the rub, then making a big dusty pile of spices without measuring at all. He makes a big deal about having all of these flavor profiles in his rub and doesn't think to add fucking salt. I'm surprised Big T didn't accidentally put some of that famous rub on Jack's arm, it's looking more and more like something you'd see in a butcher's window every day.

Also Jack, the woods looking good, must be nice! I'm sure nobody has touched your deck in a long time!
 
Finally! The hoard can return

Also what’s with all the gay vibes of this post…

-MANN MADE
-Song by “The Perfect Gentlemen”

Is he trying to signal Keto Bear or Meat Marine?

View attachment 2620085
i wonder if they moved the dozen or so grills/smokers onto the driveway again

What's interesting is we got a glimpse inside Jack's fridge. Looks like there's a bottle of wine, some Rao's (RIP Vegas location), a family sized bottle of guacamole, and what looks to be 5 cans of fucking Redi-whip. Why so much Jack? Actually, forget I asked....one for the kitchen...
better not let his church buddies see that bottle of wine

i'm sure jack will claim it's for cooking but we all know he sips on it when tammy isn't around
 
I thought those canisters with the red lids at first were red tabs, and almost had a stroke thinking that Senior was still drinking energy drinks… but 5 canisters of whipped cream might be just as bad (although whipped cream is not as damaging to your health as you may think). Who in their right goddamn mind needs 5+ whipped cream canisters at once?!! Does he think the whipped cream apocalypse is upon us as written in the book of Jack 80:08135? Do Tammy and Senior get kinky with whipped cream in the bedroom? Find out next time on the climactic conclusion of Dragon Ball REEEEEEE.

I haven’t finished the video yet but you can’t tell me with a straight face that mixing all that “seasoning” together is not going to make all his ripped jean wearing churchgoers kneel beside whatever toilet is available. This man is legit Willy Wonka’ing some ribs like that candy that has every single flavor known to mankind. Why wouldn’t you just make neutral food so everyone can enjoy? Probably because he wants them all to himself, that gluttonous douche.
 
“People are nerds for Aldi” says the fat boomer retard who filmed Aldi’s hauls twice before. Is Jack going to become a Mommy Food and Shopping hauler? Because my calendar is completely packed to the brim picking those channels apart.

I like how he said NUGGETS very angrily at the beginning of the video. He must have seen the Gastrosexual Healing video.

He also said “Why do people fawn all over this zero carb bread?” DUDE YOU LITERALLY DID A VIDEO DOING THIS? Are you that mushbrained? Ho lee fuck. What a stroked-out-borderline-Alzheimer’s-nursing-home-patient-mushbrain.

Edited: I accidentally bumped the reply button to early. Oops. Edited again because I’ve been up since 2am and am barely able to form sentences.

Video:
I really can't stand the whole fascination with low carb/no carb foods. They are really disgusting. There is nothing wrong with carbs and he keeps obsessing over them. He didn't bother showing any of the produce just crackers, chocolate, pizza ,cookies, blocks of cheese. Makes you realize why he is so unhealthy. When he shops its only for processed junk.
 
Tammy must really hate his guts in this one. So he agrees to feed the whole congregation of men at his church. I'm wondering if they had to pay for all of the meat out of pocket and if they will be reimbursed. Not only does jack waste her money, Tammy is left to do all of the heavy lifting for the meat smoking since Jack must stand there and film with his gimp arm. Smoking all of that meat takes hours. I am surprised she hasn't smothered this guy in his sleep yet. No one would blame her.

I am also surprised they would allow Jack to prepare anything. Aren't they afraid of eating undercooked pork and all of the cross contamination?
 
I thought those canisters with the red lids at first were red tabs, and almost had a stroke thinking that Senior was still drinking energy drinks… but 5 canisters of whipped cream might be just as bad (although whipped cream is not as damaging to your health as you may think). Who in their right goddamn mind needs 5+ whipped cream canisters at once?!! Does he think the whipped cream apocalypse is upon us as written in the book of Jack 80:08135? Do Tammy and Senior get kinky with whipped cream in the bedroom? Find out next time on the climactic conclusion of Dragon Ball REEEEEEE.

I haven’t finished the video yet but you can’t tell me with a straight face that mixing all that “seasoning” together is not going to make all his ripped jean wearing churchgoers kneel beside whatever toilet is available. This man is legit Willy Wonka’ing some ribs like that candy that has every single flavor known to mankind. Why wouldn’t you just make neutral food so everyone can enjoy? Probably because he wants them all to himself, that gluttonous douche.
I think he has said recently that he drinks Bang energy drinks.
 
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