The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Oxyjen]

Christ, do these assholes have the most smug, clueless, un-self-aware takes about everything

https://twitter.com/tao_orion/status/1447614507132489730?s=21

 

[Strix454]

dont alpacas kinda like snow ? or am i mixing something up (lamas maybe?)
but yeah after a few pages in its already apparent what kind of """"ranch"""" this is and i bet you could take 10 absolutely random fucks from a certain farming enthusiast forum and it would have a better outcome

They can deal with the cold reasonably well, but there are a bunch of special circumstances at the "ranch".

1) They keep warm through their wool and if you cut off their wool at the wrong time of year, they don't do so well.
2) The ranch has way too many alpacas and its been overgrazed to the point where it has become a barren moonscape. There is almost no vegetation for them to eat. Based on pictures, they seem to be buying and throwing out hay for them to eat. But nothing is organized. You have alot of Alpacas running around randomly on 36 acres. The feeding process is equally random. Some of them get an ok diet but many probably don't.
3) While they can tolerate cold, they can't tolerate wind chill all that well. They need to be able to find shelter from the wind. But the ranch is basically a flat gravel pit and they don't even have brush to lay down in for shelter.
4) They also need good access to water. If all the water outside is frozen and they can't find any, they will not do well.
5) They need proper bedding to do well. Again the ranch is a moonscape of rock and dirt. Trying to sleep on gravel and rock will lose lots of body heat.

Generally the people at the ranch seemed to believe that they could just fence in the 36 acres they have and the Alpaca would just take care of themselves. That they could just bring them in every so often to get the wool and that would be all they had to do. But it doesn't work that way. There are reasons ranchers do things in particular ways. These people essentially are learning those reasons one dead animal at a time.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

They can deal with the cold reasonably well, but there are a bunch of special circumstances at the "ranch".

1) They keep warm through their wool and if you cut off their wool at the wrong time of year, they don't do so well.
2) The ranch has way too many alpacas and its been overgrazed to the point where it has become a barren moonscape. There is almost no vegetation for them to eat. Based on pictures, they seem to be buying and throwing out hay for them to eat. But nothing is organized. You have alot of Alpacas running around randomly on 36 acres. The feeding process is equally random. Some of them get an ok diet but many probably don't.
3) While they can tolerate cold, they can't tolerate wind chill all that well. They need to be able to find shelter from the wind. But the ranch is basically a flat gravel pit and they don't even have brush to lay down in for shelter.
4) They also need good access to water. If all the water outside is frozen and they can't find any, they will not do well.
5) They need proper bedding to do well. Again the ranch is a moonscape of rock and dirt. Trying to sleep on gravel and rock will lose lots of body heat.

Generally the people at the ranch seemed to believe that they could just fence in the 36 acres they have and the Alpaca would just take care of themselves. That they could just bring them in every so often to get the wool and that would be all they had to do. But it doesn't work that way. There are reasons ranchers do things in particular ways. These people essentially are learning those reasons one dead animal at a time.

There's a certain scholarly interest to watching them learn to ranch. It's like seeing our ancestors figure it out.

 

[Lorgar]

There are reasons ranchers do things in particular ways. These people essentially are learning those reasons one dead animal at a time

You bring up many a good point but I think it's more accurate to say they're learning by dozens of dead animals at a time

 

[Jump]

There's a certain scholarly interest to watching them learn to ranch. It's like seeing our ancestors figure it out.

They arn't figuring anything out.
Your ancestors livestock died, they died.
These alpaca suffer and die, they put up another gofundme.
Winter is here and the alpaca's are no better off then last year.

 

[AGPinochet]

People in Alyssa's thread are arguing whether over whether or not Kevin and Jen being over at Alyssa's and Paul's apartment indicates that their setting up a grow op for weed/mushrooms over there and whether the tranchers intend to establish a grow up at all regardless of location.
My question is, has there ever been a debate over whether they would be more likely to grow for sale or personal consumption? Because if they foolishly decide to go the sales route I can envision them being robbed for their guns and any cash they may have on hand.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Because if they foolishly decide to go the sales route I can envision them being robbed for their guns and any cash they may have on hand.

Then the GoFundMe shilling will begin...that damn Earl...

 

[AGPinochet]

Then the GoFundMe shilling will begin...that damn Earl...

"Earl and his goons took us unaware despite all the security measures we put in place and camera equipment that was donated to us, tied us up, beat us all bloody, took our guns, cash and uh, theraputic self-medication substances, and violated Kathryn with a Transformers toy and as a result her vagina requires extensive reconstructive surgery so give us $1,000,000"
"And no we won't go to the police for uh reasons and they're uh transphobic and oh uh they're working with Earl and his fascist death squad so don't believe any statements they put out saying we're full of shit and that we actually got robbed by disadvantaged POC's"

 

[ColtWalker1847]

Either that or the neighbours have complained about their "range" and that they don't want their weekend cabin to be the backstop.

In other news, Winter is coming.
View attachment 2622472

https://twitter.com/josiebean42/status/1448063415583338496

I hope that this isn't the competed "barn" but why else would they buy such a huge tarp
View attachment 2622473

https://twitter.com/josiebean42/status/1448053743501471750

That "roof" sure looks like it will hold up the weight of a Colorado snowfall.

Spoiler: Big Images

View attachment 2622474View attachment 2622471

I saw the photos of them leveling and using the power auger. I just assumed they were doing a cheapo kit pole building. I should have known better.

A tarp over a ditch. For fuck's sake.

 

[Assigned Host Body]

'And for my next amazing trick, watch as I make these 16lbs of shredded cheese DISAPPEAR'

Isn't it amazing how his new headmates are exactly the kind of bullshit Kindness is into. Literally fucking assimilating into her like a lovesick teenager because he got his first taste of pussy
I can't wait until she gets bored and moves on, it's going to absolutely CRUSH him. I hope he starts writing emo poetry about it

I can honestly see him posting videos of my chemical romance 'im not okay' with vague statuses about how nobody cares about him

I agree about the way things usually go with BPD and getting bored, but I'm trying to keep in mind, even if Paul acts like the stereotypical starved guy, he really isn't.
He is a very deranged, selfish, violent, narcissistic man who LARPs as a "pistol packing Momma". That is by far no normal man.

In my opinion, this is going to get really twisted. Kindness and Paul are still in the honeymoon, mirroring phase. Once that is over, it's no telling how two such extreme individuals will react with one another. The end could be epic.

Archive https://archive.md/rjJw7

And there is a date as to when he became a furry:View attachment 2621292

El Cuervo Gordo origin story.

I hope Sky runs away to join Earl's white nationalist militia

Sky is sitting around and moping at the Tranch, retweeting. He knows about the thread(s), because 2 days ago, he pathetically retweeted his "beautiful smart trans woman" [sic] wife.

What the hell was he doing for 7 years in art school to end up with art that looks that bad?

Cooming and eating.

 

[Lorgar]

People in Alyssa's thread are arguing whether over whether or not Kevin and Jen being over at Alyssa's and Paul's apartment indicates that their setting up a grow op for weed/mushrooms over there and whether the tranchers intend to establish a grow up at all regardless of location.
My question is, has there ever been a debate over whether they would be more likely to grow for sale or personal consumption? Because if they foolishly decide to go the sales route I can envision them being robbed for their guns and any cash they may have on hand.

Growing a few plants for personal use can be a pretty fun and easy experience, especially with autoflowering seeds and the wealth of knowledge online. They'll get a shit yield but managing to kill a marijuana plant out of incompetence in their climate would be impressive. If they try a commercial grow they're going to encounter a net loss due to regular tranch ineptitude.

 

[Trianon]

Bonnie still insists Kindness belongs at the Tranch. x-post from her thread.

Bonnie says Kindness is integral to the success of the Tranch.
View attachment 2624230
View attachment 2624231
Link | Archive

 

[AMHOLIO]

Taking bets on how many they'll lose this year. My guess? The same as last year, ~30ish. I wouldn't be surprised if it was more as the young ones go or there are more weakened by the previous winter and starvation.

 

[Oxyjen]

A tarp over a ditch. For fuck's sake.

It’s almost like it’s some kind of metaphor.

 

[Old Fart]

Sky is sitting around and moping at the Tranch, retweeting. He knows about the thread(s), because 2 days ago, he pathetically retweeted his "beautiful smart trans woman" [sic] wife.
View attachment 2623932View attachment 2623933

Now there's a gay man in denial if I ever saw one. Paul M does not have a single female trait.

 

[DoTheDrew]

Now there's a gay man in denial if I ever saw one. Paul M does not have a single female trait.

Let’s hope he finds his way off the ranch to a gym. Go live that carefree gay life already instead of being saddled with Paul and his head mates.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I saw the photos of them leveling and using the power auger. I just assumed they were doing a cheapo kit pole building. I should have known better.

A tarp over a ditch. For fuck's sake.

In all fairness, do we know that they've called it done? They did post a picture with (a tiny bit of) snow, they might have just put a tarp over the whole thing to keep it dry and to keep wind from pushing some of that dirt right back in. I would assume they're going to keep going with something.

Not that I think that means the final product will be any less of a disaster. I'm full expecting a 'barn' on par with the Gitmo Shower and the Lamb Oven from this summer, and based on their wildly leaning fenceposts I think that the more elaborate of a construction they attempt the more likely it is to take out half their herd when it spontaneously buckles under the weight of any real snow this winter.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

In all fairness, do we know that they've called it done? They did post a picture with (a tiny bit of) snow, they might have just put a tarp over the whole thing to keep it dry and to keep wind from pushing some of that dirt right back in. I would assume they're going to keep going with something.

I can't think of a reason why you would do that though. If you poured a big concrete pad you'd use blankets and tarps over the top to help it cure in colder weather. But they didn't do that.

They don't seem to be compacting anything either. Just shoving dirt around.

Troonhenge might forever be a mystery as to what it is and why they built it.

 

[Grub]

Growing a few plants for personal use can be a pretty fun and easy experience, especially with autoflowering seeds and the wealth of knowledge online. They'll get a shit yield but managing to kill a marijuana plant out of incompetence in their climate would be impressive. If they try a commercial grow they're going to encounter a net loss due to regular tranch ineptitude.

As if the tranchers are going to actually spend every day pruning, stripping and watering hundreds of weed plants. Maintaining a commercial grow is a lot of work. That's just the daily work, then there's transplants every few weeks, which means mixing dirt, filling pots, transplanting the plants, then there's cloning, staking and tying during flowering. Then there's cutdowns, drying, trimming, bagging and weighing. To be commercially viable they'll need to be cutting down at least once a month which means at least three crops plus clones.

 

[The Final Troondown]

You guys have got to stop rooting for Sky. We know the least about him, so that's why it's easy to think he's an innocent victim, unjustly cucked by his husband running off to sniff BPD pussy. But remember: we thought Bonnie was the protagonist of the Tranch back when Kevin was the main attraction and he was just one of the saner-seeming clowns that might snap and set fire to the whole nine-ring circus.

Everyone involved in this clusterfuck belongs in the loony bin. Anyone who could have come to their senses about the dismal state of the Tranch and run away to become normal elsewhere would have done so already. I have full confidence we'll find out in a month or two that Sky's been raping alpacas or something, and then we'll look at this arc of the sage and laugh just like how we're laughing about Bonnie now.



By Talos, this can't be happening.

The tranch doesn't have protagonists or antagonists, it's just a lolcow battle royale and we occasionally shift our bets around to reflect developments in real time
nobody wants to ride in and rescue any of them, and any rooting for anyone is just people placing their bets on what would be the most hilarious branching path on the story

dont alpacas kinda like snow ? or am i mixing something up (lamas maybe?)
but yeah after a few pages in its already apparent what kind of """"ranch"""" this is and i bet you could take 10 absolutely random fucks from a certain farming enthusiast forum and it would have a better outcome

They've got that lovely thick fleece to keep them warm, except now they don't because the tranchers sheared them out of season, and ontop of that they're malnourished because they live on a blasted wasteland