The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
As if the tranchers are going to actually spend every day pruning, stripping and watering hundreds of weed plants. Maintaining a commercial grow is a lot of work. That's just the daily work, then there's transplants every few weeks, which means mixing dirt, filling pots, transplanting the plants, then there's cloning, staking and tying during flowering. Then there's cutdowns, drying, trimming, bagging and weighing. To be commercially viable they'll need to be cutting down at least once a month which means at least three crops plus clones.
Marijuana product marketing is a fulltime job on its own, the major platforms are full of shit and the workarounds have to be clever. None of these self-obsessed Tranchers have anything near the savvy it takes to get the crunchy stoner jargon right, let alone manage the ACTUAL GROWING of the product. I hope these cuntless wonders are actually going to attempt this, ir will be epique.
 
I can't think of a reason why you would do that though. If you poured a big concrete pad you'd use blankets and tarps over the top to help it cure in colder weather. But they didn't do that.
Totally agree. It’s a mystery. If you’ve got a half built structure, roof not on yet, the last thing you’d do is drape acres of plastic tarp over it.. it has zero benefit and will only cause work and hassle when it blows off.
The internet is pretty good for learning how to do new things, but what it can’t do is give you common sense.
 
I wonder if there are any pictures of the tranch before and after the alpacas devoured every bit of plant life they could find to avoid starving
here. Its a before they purchased the property and after picture of the same spot on the ranch. There are other pictures earlier in the thread that shows the overgrazing damage goes right to the fencelines of the property. Its normal again beyond the fences.
 
As if the tranchers are going to actually spend every day pruning, stripping and watering hundreds of weed plants. Maintaining a commercial grow is a lot of work. That's just the daily work, then there's transplants every few weeks, which means mixing dirt, filling pots, transplanting the plants, then there's cloning, staking and tying during flowering. Then there's cutdowns, drying, trimming, bagging and weighing. To be commercially viable they'll need to be cutting down at least once a month which means at least three crops plus clones.
You're right; a grow of that scale is beyond them; but the Tranch is entirely capable of handling a half-dozen plants for their personal use.

Not that it matters; the point is growing *any* plants is a federal & state NO-GO.
 
Christ, do these assholes have the most smug, clueless, un-self-aware takes about everything

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Monocultures have their downsides, but that is why you have fertilisers, pesticides, GMO crops, satellite imagery, and various other instruments to sustain this industrial production so those fatassess can buy their cheap junk foods, enlargening their corpulent lard deposits which their degenerated bodies have the misfortune to carry.
 
Christ, do these assholes have the most smug, clueless, un-self-aware takes about everything

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This reads like some termianlly online child just learned what the fuck the basics of agriculture is.
Is Gash ever going to release the fucking documentary? Earl attacked 7 months ago or there about. Come on I want to see the reality TV show tension and suspense music moment of a super scurry truck driving past the tranchers in full
Pretty sure its going to get released in November or December unless its been pushed back (which I see is temporary mercy brought upon by Allah).
 
You're right; a grow of that scale is beyond them; but the Tranch is entirely capable of handling a half-dozen plants for their personal use.

Not that it matters; the point is growing *any* plants is a federal & state NO-GO.
It's a state law in Colorado that you can't grow plants for personal use? I don't think that's true. Federal law, sure, but for the specific case you mentioned, it seems like it is legal according to Colorado state law.
 
You're right; a grow of that scale is beyond them; but the Tranch is entirely capable of handling a half-dozen plants for their personal use.

Not that it matters; the point is growing *any* plants is a federal & state NO-GO.
I doubt they're even capable of that. Sure the plants might grow, but i doubt they could get a usable product out of even half a dozen plants. That's still 3 and a half months of solid commitment to growing them and working on them without getting lazy or fucking up. I just don't think they got it in them.
 
I think it's some kind of a mass grave. :thinking:
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On this Friday evening, I bring you some somewhat noteworthy and downright hilarious milk straight from the cows. Starting with the Tranch as usual, they retweeted their usual patreon/gofraudme/merch tweets, but they also posted 11 tweets with alpaca pics. Are they trying to assure everyone that everything is fine with them, given that winter is beginning to rear its ugly head? 100% yes

I am not posting 11 alpaca tweets, so I selected my favorites. [A]
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I chose this one to share simply because of the door in the background and the alpaca directly under it’s expression of visceral disgust, which is hopefully directed at whoever’s taking the photo. [A]
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This tweet mentions the frost that set in last night apparently: [A]
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And I only post this one not only because it beautifully showcases their devastated wasteland, but because I’m dumb and I was hoping some of you more informed Kiwis could tell me what that tarp thing on the ground is. Zoomed in pic in the spoiler below. [A]
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Idk if it’s normal to keep random junk around a ranch like this but either way it’s funny. Also, I just couldn’t bring myself to crop out the alpaca when it’s making that face.
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What is that tarp thing for? It’s not the dugout thing they were working on because that’s covered by a blue tarp.
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I would also like to take a moment to admire this shit. I love how they don’t even let the serfs park their trailers near the main house. Across the desolate wasteland you go.
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And finally, they decided to use the news of Texas trans bill thing being passed to plug their GoFraudMe. [A]
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Josie tweeted some more about the progress of that dugout. [1], [2]
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Shared a photo of the impending doom for the alpacas. [A]
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That last reply is going to be everyone’s mantra when the alpacas start dropping like flies. (:_(
He also shared his visions and dreams for the future of the ranch. [A]33AE0C8F-31F1-4BC1-8DBA-D46338792026.jpeg

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Penny was pissed off at someone, it would appear. [A]
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And we may get a Tranch TikTok saga. If so, I’ll get the videos they post so you don’t have to. [A]
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As for Bonnie, I’ll just crosspost what I did from the Kindness thread. But just know that this is the the singular most important tweet… basically of the past month or however long this Alyssa turbocircus has been going on. [A]
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Batch of tweets from the past day or so (spoiler: this one is a GOOD one, be prepared to laugh). Starting with Kindness, here’s her tweets that were worth sharing (read: the really mundane ones, and the Islamic ones. I couldn’t bring myself to archive that shit and save that on my phone, even for a few minutes.)

I don’t know what the hell she’s on about. [A]
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Same goes for this [A]
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What in the name of age regression fetish is this shit? [A]
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More uwu witch shit [A]
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A not-so-subtle beg for cash: [A]
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Some headmate larp hogwash with a hint of a possible fursuit making arc: [A]
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Now, as for our dear BetaBon, he had less to say. He posted a couple photos of Alyssa’s dog. BTW, I love the quarter collection board thing next to whatever that framed handfan shaped thing is. [A]
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He took a page out of Alyssa’s book and tweeted about a furry in suit. I’m not sure if that’s just a photo he found online or if he took it himself. Edit: It’s Alyssa’s, thank you for telling me @BoobWhiskers [A]
View attachment 2629634 AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, we have my personal favorite tweet from any member of the tranch in a very long time. This just in people, Bonnie Mendoza is better at treating the mentally ill than any accredited institution. [A] :story:
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EDIT: See, I had the misfortune of seeing this as well and I couldn’t bear to be the one to subject everyone else to it as well.


I don’t usually include Kevin’s clusterfuck of a timeline in Tranch updates, but fuck it, since apparently we’re going full retard tonight, might as well throw these in here too. [1], [2]
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Edited to add links in, the site is struggling rn
 
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