Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

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Have any of you ever been to a Mormon wedding? Only Mormons in good standing with the Church (don't do drugs/alcohol/caffeine, don't have sex outside of marriage or masturbate, pay their tithing on time, etc.), can go to the ceremony in the temple and the heathens, bad Mormons, and apostates have to sit out in the temple parking lot for an hour waiting for them to get done. Someone actually recorded and leaked the Mormon wedding ceremony for what goes on in the temple and it is... disappointing... you don't get to wear your own wedding dress and instead have to wear cult clothes. The dress you picked out at that boutique that specializes in modest wedding dresses (dresses that often look like a t-shirt with a skirt sewn on them) is for the reception and photos so you can pretend and lie to your kids (which you are expected to have at least 3) that you had a normal wedding because if you dare tell them the truth you can get excommunicated and sent to rot in Outer Darkness rather than become a god of your own planet.



Keep in mind, to give you an idea, they don't tell Mormon girls anything about what the wedding ceremony is like and hype the temple wedding to be some sort of magical experience and something you must do else you will never see your husband in heaven and get your own planet to rule with him (and his many goddess wives especially if he remarries after you die, but let's not talk about that) and do stuff to get them excited like try on modest dresses, take pictures of them outside the temple, talk about choosing the right guy to take him into the temple (must be a good Mormon boy that holds the priesthood and ideally has served a mission, as long as he meets that criteria anyone will do). They also very much tell them to get married quickly to avoid temptation even though again, these marriages are supposed to last forever. In the Mormon world, you are essentially an old maid if you don't get married by 25.
 
It was My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and featured a truly remarkable episode where the young teenage bridesmaids at a wedding explained their fear of being 'caught' by a large drunken gyppo male at the wedding,. Due to insane tinker purity culture, if the girl was 'caught', i.e. sexually assaulted without her consent, her family would insist she marry the gyppo who assaulted her. They wouldn't even go to the toilet during the wedding for fear. Absolutely incredible.
Do you know which episode this was?
 
What the fuck, that's it?? That's the fabled Mormon temple sealing? The guests all look like they dressed to go to Target and the temple appears to be a low rent Holiday Inn business suite? Why the fuck are there so many Mormon wedding bloggers if this is all they get? That was like... three minutes long?

FFS, even Catholic weddings have flowers and fancy clothes and music. Mormon weddings fucking suck ass.
 
What the fuck, that's it?? That's the fabled Mormon temple sealing? The guests all look like they dressed to go to Target and the temple appears to be a low rent Holiday Inn business suite? Why the fuck are there so many Mormon wedding bloggers if this is all they get? That was like... three minutes long?

FFS, even Catholic weddings have flowers and fancy clothes and music. Mormon weddings fucking suck ass.
Another thing to mention about Catholic weddings is they usually require the people to get pre-marriage counseling in the form of Pre-Cana before the priest will even think about doing the wedding.

Mormons don't even have pre-marriage counseling at all even though they put a lot of importance on marriage and having it last forever which never made sense to me.
 
Literally everything on Off-Beat Bride belongs in this thread. F-Plus did a dramatic reading from it which is gold, especially when you cross-reference it to the photos.

Weddings are kind of interesting though because they reflect a sea change in our human society.
1. An obsesssion with individualism. Traditional weddings are an exercise in "doing what everyone else did in the way everyone else did it." Everyone gets the same ceremony. Fine to splash out if you're a royal, but even they get the amped up version of the same 'ol same 'ol. Modern weddings are an endless exercise in trying to set oneself apart. Kind of like how English people used to all be named one of a small set of names and now it's wildly important that your child have a name no one else does.
2. The spectacle over the event. A wedding used to be the public marking of a thing that actually happened. Beforehand, the children were bastards, the people didn't live together (frequently enough they'd slept together), and they weren't a social unit. Afterwards, things changed. So if you happened to want to start a family with someone and it was mid-pandemic, oh well, you do what you can do for the wedding and move on. Now, the party isn't marking a change in your life. The party is the point. People already lived together, they have kids, they have a mortgage. Nothing changes the day after, so there's no real reason not to wait until the most convenient time.
 
Also, I would reccommend if you want a goldmine of content to check out Off Beat Bride It is a wedding blog dedicated to special snowflakes getting married and is full of stuff like this:

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I am sure if you ask Pedro who owns the Mexican restaurant in town to cater your wedding, he would be more than delighted to do business rather than scream cultural appropriation at you. I am 99% sure that person who wrote this isn't Hispanic.
yeah you're right. That website is filled with batshit crazy weddings

This doctor who themed wedding of two fat trannies really made me cringe:
 
I think the worst wedding trend is that weddings still exist. Marriage is awesome, but the whole wedding industry is a massive scam. Tens of thousands of dollars to some overpaid grifters to throw a free party for the guests while the couple barely even remembers it. Funerals and weddings are two industries that need to be abolished. Gigantic waste of money. Elope and get cremated.
 
Theming weddings around something almost never works out well. Of course there's going to be exceptions to this but just making the entire day about one particular corner of your personality just seems dumb to me.
I know, I feel like a lot of weddings these days are expected to have some sort of theme. Back in the 80s, most weddings didn't really have themes aside from maybe what colors and flowers you were going to use, now, every wedding planner always asks what your wedding theme is because everything has to have a theme.

Also, does anyone want to see what happens when furries get married?

 
Also, I would reccommend if you want a goldmine of content to check out Off Beat Bride It is a wedding blog dedicated to special snowflakes getting married and is full of stuff like this:

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I am sure if you ask Pedro who owns the Mexican restaurant in town to cater your wedding, he would be more than delighted to do business rather than scream cultural appropriation at you. I am 99% sure that person who wrote this isn't Hispanic.
Oh Lord it's not full of clows, it's a circus! The moment you see wiccan/witchcraft themes, it's going to be a hell of a show

If anyone wanted the Hispanic or minority experienced wedding, they wouldn't go to quirkybrides.net, they'd "know a guy"
 
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The "theme" of the wedding is "John and Sue are getting married." It's got a theme already. No need to get ridiculous. The Dr. Who wedding looks like some bad middle school plays I've been to.

I like minority ethnic weddings because they're more likely to have lots of food and open bars.
 
Anyways great thread topic and long overdue tbh. I don’t know a lot about lolcow weddings, but I was a huge fan of Bridezillas when it was on and the actually funny narrator hadn’t been replaced by a stale “sassy black woman.” Some of the wedding themes were just atrocious, including the aforementioned guns/hunting theme. One of the classics is a woman having a tantrum that would put a toddler to shame because her grown ass family in law didn’t like her Clue-themed wedding activities, and I recall another woman angling for a spooky Halloween theme wedding, trashy black dress and all. Not to mention some of the colors these girls picked. See: watermelon and guava, zebra (???) and purple, and all 100% pink.
Bridezillas is such a good trashy reality tv show. I miss it.

A personal lol cow of mine got married several years ago and the wedding was postponed by an hour because one of the groomsmen left his outfit at his house, which was half an hour away (even more I think). They really should have just gone on because it was a "nicer" pair of jeans and some horrendous camo vest. The bride's family came dressed in jean booty shorts and after the wedding they were late coming to the reception place and we weren't allowed any drinks or any kind of food until the wedding party got there. More than half of us gave and left right then the bride and groom finally arrived and she was so pissed at us, but I'm glad I didn't stay.
 
Theming weddings around something almost never works out well. Of course there's going to be exceptions to this but just making the entire day about one particular corner of your personality just seems dumb to me.
And everyone involved seems to be miserable planning and arranging this beautiful and happy event. Maybe a new version of shotgun weddings, but consensual, should be a thing. Declare intent and let family and friends take care of it.
 
Have any of you ever been to a Mormon wedding? Only Mormons in good standing with the Church (don't do drugs/alcohol/caffeine, don't have sex outside of marriage or masturbate, pay their tithing on time, etc.), can go to the ceremony in the temple and the heathens, bad Mormons, and apostates have to sit out in the temple parking lot for an hour waiting for them to get done. Someone actually recorded and leaked the Mormon wedding ceremony for what goes on in the temple and it is... disappointing... you don't get to wear your own wedding dress and instead have to wear cult clothes. The dress you picked out at that boutique that specializes in modest wedding dresses (dresses that often look like a t-shirt with a skirt sewn on them) is for the reception and photos so you can pretend and lie to your kids (which you are expected to have at least 3) that you had a normal wedding because if you dare tell them the truth you can get excommunicated and sent to rot in Outer Darkness rather than become a god of your own planet.

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Keep in mind, to give you an idea, they don't tell Mormon girls anything about what the wedding ceremony is like and hype the temple wedding to be some sort of magical experience and something you must do else you will never see your husband in heaven and get your own planet to rule with him (and his many goddess wives especially if he remarries after you die, but let's not talk about that) and do stuff to get them excited like try on modest dresses, take pictures of them outside the temple, talk about choosing the right guy to take him into the temple (must be a good Mormon boy that holds the priesthood and ideally has served a mission, as long as he meets that criteria anyone will do). They also very much tell them to get married quickly to avoid temptation even though again, these marriages are supposed to last forever. In the Mormon world, you are essentially an old maid if you don't get married by 25.
I know some mormons and they always say that weddings cause lots of distress in families due to not everyone being allowed in the temple.

I genuinely feel sorry for the women. This is the most important day of their life to them and they end up looking like the pillsbury doughboy. Many women do not know until the day of that they can't wear their dress inside the temple. Thousands of dollars spent on the dress, makeup, hair and you can't even look good during the ceremony. I would be pissed.
 
I'd like to get married someday, but I agree with @Troonos the wedding industry is kinda a huge scam.
I'm not going to be paying over $150 for a dress I'll wear once and never again. I don't like the idea of having to have catering done for 20+ people (I knew some fancy hipster folx who were gonna get married, the RVSP gave me a choice of picking steak or atlantic smoked salmon, and some other fancy dish but I can't remember what it was. I think they had over 50 guests).
I'm also not a big fan of having bridesmaids and having to account for their expenses too. My partner can have a best man or whatever, but I just don't like the concept (but if I HAVE to have one I guess I'll put names in a hat and draw one out, I'm not that close with anybody irl).
Bachelor/ette parties are a scam.
Disney themed weddings make me want to vomit.

These people are probably divorced by now.
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And everyone involved seems to be miserable planning and arranging this beautiful and happy event. Maybe a new version of shotgun weddings, but consensual, should be a thing. Declare intent and let family and friends take care of it.
I think before the 70s, most weddings were like that where the bride's family would take care of the whole wedding, it wasn't until a couple generations ago where couples were given more control over their wedding and bridezillas became more of the thing.

Also, I don't know about you guys, but I am kind of sick of eucalyptus and similar colored greenery for weddings. It feels like I see it everywhere for weddings similar to burlap and mason jars in 2015. It's getting kind of old.

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Also, bishop sleeves on wedding dresses, especially if they are off the shoulder bishop sleeves. I have a feeling these things will become like the pick-up skirts of the 2000s and the poofy sleeves of the 80s. Those sleeves are going to age terribly and be something that the next generation of brides will laugh at.

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I fucking love gowns with those sleeves but only in period/fantasy drama. I think people are getting their style cues from romance novels.

Judging hat on: the style for massive cut outs/sheer lace/basically looking like you in your stripper underwear is like... a matter of personal taste, but I do wince when I see it worn at a church wedding. You know, this is church, maybe like put something over the goods during the ceremony. Go full Vegas showgirl later.
 
I fucking love gowns with those sleeves but only in period/fantasy drama. I think people are getting their style cues from romance novels.

Judging hat on: the style for massive cut outs/sheer lace/basically looking like you in your stripper underwear is like... a matter of personal taste, but I do wince when I see it worn at a church wedding. You know, this is church, maybe like put something over the goods during the ceremony. Go full Vegas showgirl later.
Oh yes, I think of those awful see-through corsets Pnina Tornai is known for that you see on Say Yes to the Dress, she still makes slutty flashy dresses, but at least has started to focus on other things. But yeah, another trend I noticed is nude dresses where everything is see-through and leaves no room for the imagination. Definitely not appropriate for a wedding where you invite grandma and such.

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Also, ninety percent of these dresses in this article are awful.
 
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