Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[George Floyd Sneed]

Tubbers likely slept (read: fell into a diabetic coma) during the flight and drive over.

The downside is that she'll be viewed with contempt as the epitome of the Murican tourist - too big, too loud, too inyerface and constantly chewing gum like a bovine cudding.

Tess is always the most embarrassing one in every one of the group pictures that gets taken. It’s all done to look like the baddest bitch and the life of the party but in reality, she is the loud, fat one everyone wishes would fuck off forever.

 

[Umaibae]

You guys don't have to wear masks in the UK??

 

[Kier Starmer]

Tess must have looked really out of place as the core of the city is 60+. @Umaibae In the UK currently you do not really have to wear masks as the "mandate" was lifted in August. Since then a lot of people do not wear them as the Governments attitude has changed to opening up rather than be restrictive.

It was mostly a political move because Boris was on the verge of a coup from backbenchers. Deathfats in the UK are very stigmatized, a lot of people since lockdown have decided to lose weight, and sales in fast food are actually down. Tess would have been stared down constantly and she is a very obnoxious woman. People in the pubs would have hated her.

 

[Gay Mouth]

this'll make you really happy, cos that's even worse than takeaway. That's crap pub nosebag, which is designed to be so fantastically greasy that not only would the worst US fast-fud operator baulk at it, but that is designed to complement beer you can stand a fork in. You inevitably wake up halfway down the staircase at 5am with your neck at a right-angle and a gut that feels like a washing machine.

TwentyTon should be coming along nicely.
(I worked with colleagues that came over from Cali regularly and their inaugural night out with us just destroyed them. And I'm only in the poofy home counties, out in farm country they take their beer seriously. TwentyTon is gonna feel like a house fell on her. This is most definitely not London and she is fucked. Heh heh heh.)

Man you just dragged your country to death lol

Glad to know Brit cuisine is as greasy as I thought

ENJOY TUBBERS! Eat a meat pie for the gorls

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Well well well! Tess chose probably the best place to fit in as Hereford is known for its beef cows - the "Hereford Cattle", in fact its a very popular breed around the world. I can't imagine what the locals thought though, even as a tourist they would be perplexed, people go to Hereford for hiking and healthy wholesome holidays.

Hereford also makes a lot of booze. I hope she tries some farmers cider sold of the road and finds out the funny way of never taking drinks from strangers. They say they are 3 types of cider, singing, sleeping and fighting.

Anyone else cringe a little that her "friends" took her to a burger joint? Like oh you are American, let's eat American things? It was weird as I actually thought these were pics in America because of the decor etc in the restaurant (red, blacks, menu layout and format) but it's because the restaurant owners used their winnings from Vegas to set the restaurants up. The location of the restaurant is perfect for Tess, lots of shitty chain restaurants such as frankie and benny's, prezzo, nandos, etc. Next door.

For everyone else, Hereford is the perfect opportunity to take in the Malvern Hills that surround it, its a very beautiful part of the world and a source of natural spring water. She could really amp that beauty stuff up with a photo shoot of a natural spring and testing session. But no this is Tess. We will no doubt find her in greggs (shop that sells very cheap baked goods of dubious quality but highly addictive) and then weatherspoons (spoonies) for the meal and drink for incredibly cheap too. Like shephards pie, chips and some veg plus drink will be 8 quid. Sounds about right for an IRS dodging budget...

Still no cake picture? ..... the John's must be getting impatient

Edit: on the Boris matter - he publicly stated that the reason he had such a bad time with covid was because he was really obese and then embarked on a diet!

 

[Water-T]

REMEMBER: TOTES ANOREXIC, Y'ALL!

 

[Kier Starmer]

It's a very cheap county but in fairness from what I know when the gentrifying attempts were made a lot of the local and old eateries went out of business. Sadly that part of the world is known for cider its chief export and its beef as you said of a worldwide standard. It's equitable to Aberdeen Angus, I am still taken aback at Hereford of all places. It is a very odd place.

 

[Awkward Aardvark]

View attachment 2635116

Apologies in advance for my horrible comment, but I've long wondered why so many deathfats - Tess in particular - makes that cunt licking V-sign with their tongue and fingers. Like why, why, why, why - isn't that supposed to be a lesbian sign or something? It finally dawned on me that maybe there are two explanations to that, both of which are sad and even repulsive:
1) The deathfats are unable to find any men (sans feeders) so they signal to each other that they're open for lesbian relations.
2) The deathfats realize that they can't have sex with a man in any normal way - except maybe by laying on the table while the guy is standing - so they're signaling that they can still have their cunts licked. I don't expect many takers for their offer, however.

 

[Water-T]

Apologies in advance for my horrible comment, but I've long wondered why so many deathfats - Tess in particular - makes that cunt licking V-sign with their tongue and fingers. Like why, why, why, why - isn't that supposed to be a lesbian sign or something? It finally dawned on me that maybe there are two explanations to that, both of which are sad and even repulsive:
1) The deathfats are unable to find any men (sans feeders) so they signal to each other that they're open for lesbian relations.
2) The deathfats realize that they can't have sex with a man in any normal way - except maybe by laying on the table while the guy is standing - so they're signaling that they can still have their cunts licked. I don't expect many takers for their offer, however.

Two reasons:

1. Tess thinks it makes her look edgy and badass (Hint: it doesn't)

2. She likes to claim that she is TOTES KA-WEER Y'ALL!, despite only been in relationships with men and lusting exclusively after men. (she makes half-hearted attempts via Ollie and that Miss Sugar chick, but they are clearly just for show.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

As @Fìddlesticks noted, we have a little game for all farmers outside the UK.

One of these is a cow

....and the other is a fine aged beast of majestic proportion. That moos.


Anyone who can guess which gets a pie filled with....stuff. We don't ask questions...and nor does Gregg's. TenTon may have been lured for nefarious purposes, a fully-aged and pre-basted heifer. Maybe all those jokes about moisturizing with bacon grease weren't actually jokes.



(PS. Dear Greggs,

I'll eat anything you wrap in pastry then serve at that precise point between hot and cold when everything is at that prime delicious sogginess only you can achieve. But if you try and feed me this cow, we will have issues.

Yrs, etc.)




Eta:-
@Awkward Aardvark here's yer answer. Vitally important information lest a crumb go astray.

 

[multiverse]

So on her second day in Britland, Tess woke up with her hangover nice and early so they could start out on a planned road trip to Wales. Someone else did her makeup for this car drive. The filters are cranked to 11 because she looks like shit no matter what.

Spoiler: Welsh tourism

 

[Snack Cracker]

So on her second day in Britland, Tess woke up with her hangover nice and early so they could start out on a planned road trip to Wales. Someone else did her makeup for this car drive. The filters are cranked to 11 because she looks like shit no matter what.

Spoiler: Welsh tourism

View attachment 2636509View attachment 2636511View attachment 2636512View attachment 2636513View attachment 2636514View attachment 2636515View attachment 2636516View attachment 2636517View attachment 2636518View attachment 2636519

This looked mildly wholesome (apart from her horrifying selfies) until I read the caption on the last picture and what the fuck.
Sex education house? What does that mean in context?

 

[vlcsr]

This looked mildly wholesome (apart from her horrifying selfies) until I read the caption on the last picture and what the fuck.
Sex education house? What does that mean in context?

Probably having something to do with the show “Sex Education” and Tess is just a rétard who can’t capitalize properly but I’ve never seen it so I could be wrong.

I feel bad for those poor schmucks who died mid-18th century and were eventually forgotten by everyone until some greasy braphog from the colonies desecrated their final resting place by uploading photos of it onto Instagram for asspats.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

According to Professor Google it's some shitty Netflix show.

in a country with living history going back centuries and that's her take. Fuck off, you shallow, pathetic twat.


Ninja'd by @vlcsr.

 

[multiverse]

According to Professor Google it's some shitty Netflix show.

in a country with living history going back centuries and that's her take. Fuck off, you shallow, pathetic twat.

Seriously. Can't tell us a bit about the local parish church, which has been standing since umpety tuppenty two, according the the plaque someone kindly affixed to the outer wall in order to educate wandering braphogs? Look for the oldest grave there and marvel at the short time all of us are granted on this earth? Can't tell us anything about that small castle, or the land around it?

Nope. This house was in a Netflix show from last year, el oh el oh el!

Ryann probably can't stand in line for any actual attractions, or do the walking tours of older homes once you reach the front of the line. So they're stuck doing anything she can waddle ten feet from the car for, as long as she rocks herself forward with good momentum.

 

[ggalin]

As @Fìddlesticks noted, we have a little game for all farmers outside the UK.

One of these is a cow
View attachment 2636444View attachment 2636445
....and the other is a fine aged beast of majestic proportion. That moos.


Anyone who can guess which gets a pie filled with....stuff. We don't ask questions...and nor does Gregg's. TenTon may have been lured for nefarious purposes, a fully-aged and pre-basted heifer. Maybe all those jokes about moisturizing with bacon grease weren't actually jokes.



(PS. Dear Greggs,

I'll eat anything you wrap in pastry then serve at that precise point between hot and cold when everything is at that prime delicious sogginess only you can achieve. But if you try and feed me this cow, we will have issues.

Yrs, etc.)




Eta:-
@Awkward Aardvark here's yer answer. Vitally important information lest a crumb go astray.
View attachment 2636522

lol she could’ve looked like the best mom ever if she took her kids, but nooooo she needs to shove crumble cakes, cheap british beer and european coke down her throat! (i’m just saying i’d feel like shit if i was travelling the world and my children aren’t beside me). does she ever worry about them?? show genuine concern?? she doesn’t even leave them with family members! anybody could be around bowie and she doesn’t even know it!!

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

This looked mildly wholesome (apart from her horrifying selfies) until I read the caption on the last picture and what the fuck.
Sex education house? What does that mean in context?

That is the house that the main characters of the show "Sex Education" live in, including the character played by Gillian Anderson. The show was kinda good for 1.5 seasons (in a "Degrassi cheesefest with accents and interesting fashion" kind of way) but the latest one is just crap.

I'm shocked she likes it though as there's no Super Sized Representation characters and they're all high schoolers so it shouldn't even be getting her horny.

I'd like to visit that house only because I think it's a really gorgeous house.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

lol she could’ve looked like the best mom ever if she took her kids, but nooooo she needs to shove crumble cakes, cheap british beer and european coke down her throat! (i’m just saying i’d feel like shit if i was travelling the world and my children aren’t beside me). does she ever worry about them?? show genuine concern?? she doesn’t even leave them with family members! anybody could be around bowie and she doesn’t even know it!!

Meanwhile, Nick (memba him?) is on Reddit obsessing over genderspecials and posting shit like this:

I know Australia is a Branch Covidian hellscape and Nick is a broke loser, but it's still disgusting to me that Bowie is under Tess's "care."

 

[ggalin]

Meanwhile, Nick (memba him?) is on Reddit obsessing over genderspecials and posting shit like this:
View attachment 2636694
I know Australia is a Branch Covidian hellscape and Nick is a broke loser, but it's still disgusting to me that Bowie is under Tess's "care."

EXACTLY tessy has money to fucking go to australia and bring her kid so nick could see him. nick wasn’t physically or mentally abusive, you were mentally abusive towards HIM. and he got tired of you, and left you to fuck fat women who are nicer to him and men. so, you fucked his citizenship, made him get deported and strain the father son relationship he was building. then you have the gall to keep his nickname instead of changing it.

“oh yeah, i got raped and abused by this GUY who i thought was my husband. oh yeah, im still keeping his last name!!!”

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

On her last trip to UK Tess grabbed the ass of a statue at the Victoria and Albert Museum. So any notion of culture and history is completely lost on her. And at best she will make the half-assed notion how much she misses her baby boy, when it is often enough pointed out to her, if she misses him.

I am still wondering where she got the cash for the trip. I assume that either her credit card is howling in agony or she has a sponsor. From wherever.