Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Water-T]

On her last trip to UK Tess grabbed the ass of a statue at the Victoria and Albert Museum. So any notion of culture and history is completely lost on her. And at best she will make the half-assed notion how much she misses her baby boy, when it is often enough pointed out to her, if she misses him.

I am still wondering where she got the cash for the trip. I assume that either her credit card is howling in agony or she has a sponsor. From wherever.

She's apparently not there for a paying model gig, so either her friends are footing the bill, or Tessy has an International Cake John doling out cash to watch her smush steak and kidney pies with her arse.

 

[Constellationzero]

Apologies in advance for my horrible comment, but I've long wondered why so many deathfats - Tess in particular - makes that cunt licking V-sign with their tongue and fingers. Like why, why, why, why - isn't that supposed to be a lesbian sign or something? It finally dawned on me that maybe there are two explanations to that, both of which are sad and even repulsive:
1) The deathfats are unable to find any men (sans feeders) so they signal to each other that they're open for lesbian relations.
2) The deathfats realize that they can't have sex with a man in any normal way - except maybe by laying on the table while the guy is standing - so they're signaling that they can still have their cunts licked. I don't expect many takers for their offer, however.

You're reading way too much into this.

She's almost FORTY, has kids she refuses to take responsibility for, and she has arrested development and low emotional intelligence/maturity. In other words:

 

[NoReturn]

Do you keep them corralled, cos Murican Tourist is nothing like real ordinary Americans?

We try. Why do you think these obnoxious sows travel in packs? I've seen Americans scold other Americans for being rude when I was a kid and it was absolutely glorious. I don't know if it still happens, though.

Anyone else cringe a little that her "friends" took her to a burger joint? Like oh you are American, let's eat American things?

"A little" is putting it mildly.

Apologies in advance for my horrible comment, but I've long wondered why so many deathfats - Tess in particular - makes that cunt licking V-sign with their tongue and fingers. Like why, why, why, why - isn't that supposed to be a lesbian sign or something? It finally dawned on me that maybe there are two explanations to that, both of which are sad and even repulsive:
1) The deathfats are unable to find any men (sans feeders) so they signal to each other that they're open for lesbian relations.
2) The deathfats realize that they can't have sex with a man in any normal way - except maybe by laying on the table while the guy is standing - so they're signaling that they can still have their cunts licked. I don't expect many takers for their offer, however.

@Constellationzero's answer is the correct one.

So on her second day in Britland, Tess woke up with her hangover nice and early so they could start out on a planned road trip to Wales. Someone else did her makeup for this car drive. The filters are cranked to 11 because she looks like shit no matter what.

Spoiler: Welsh tourism

View attachment 2636509View attachment 2636511View attachment 2636512View attachment 2636513View attachment 2636514View attachment 2636515View attachment 2636516View attachment 2636517View attachment 2636518View attachment 2636519

Videos of some of the aboves:

 

[What's_The_Frequency?]

She says she survived her first night in London but I though she was in Herefordshire?

 

[Water-T]

She says she survived her first night in London but I though she was in Herefordshire?

It’s in the same continent, so it totes counts, y’all!

Tess really tries hard to convince everyone that she’s a WURLD FAMUS SUPPAMODDLE.

 

[NoReturn]

She says she survived her first night in London but I though she was in Herefordshire?

Tess is probably one of those dipshits who thinks everything in the UK is the same thing.

London = London​

England = Greater London​

Herefordshire = London suburbs​

Same for the rest of the UK

Wales = Sheep London​

Scotland = Angry-but-friendly London​

Ireland = Celtic London​

 

[multiverse]

She says she survived her first night in London but I though she was in Herefordshire?

She's a fucking moron high school dropout, but even she knows that when you drive 5+ hours outside of London and post "I'm in Herefordshire and now I'm in Wales", that she is lying when she says how much she is enjoying London.

She lies because she wants to make it sound like she's a jet setter moddle with clients and money. But since she also can't stop oversharing, it's obvious to anyone with eyes that she's visiting some hick American fetishists (no, seriously, they stan a fake dude ranch weekend getaway and all things Americana) who paid for her ticket.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

"Wake up at 5 am halfway down a staircase with your neck at a right angle and your gut feels like a washing machine."

Been there, done that. More than I care to admit. I felt this description in my bones.

Thank God I'm old and don't do that shit anymore.

 

[Pina Colada]

lol she could’ve looked like the best mom ever if she took her kids, but nooooo she needs to shove crumble cakes, cheap british beer and european coke down her throat! (i’m just saying i’d feel like shit if i was travelling the world and my children aren’t beside me). does she ever worry about them?? show genuine concern?? she doesn’t even leave them with family members! anybody could be around bowie and she doesn’t even know it!!

Sadly, no. This is the same braphog who IIRC flew to Mexico for a "bestie's" birthday trip and voluntarily skipped out on Bowie's.

 

[multiverse]

Tess admits to only having slept 4 hours total as she views Cardiff Castle. I'm shocked she made it up the small hill the old castle stands on. Can't download the video where she eye fucks herself in the sunlight instead of looking at the old keep. There's no way she made it into the towers, she wouldn't fit in the spiral stairwells.

 

[Water-T]

She's a fucking moron high school dropout, but even she knows that when you drive 5+ hours outside of London and post "I'm in Herefordshire and now I'm in Wales", that she is lying when she says how much she is enjoying London.

She lies because she wants to make it sound like she's a jet setter moddle with clients and money. But since she also can't stop oversharing, it's obvious to anyone with eyes that she's visiting some hick American fetishists (no, seriously, they stan a fake dude ranch weekend getaway and all things Americana) who paid for her ticket.

This looking less like "we invited a good friend over to visit", and more like, "let's bring over this Yankee hick so we can laugh at all the low-class American crap she'll do".

 

[multiverse]

This looking less like "we invited a good friend over to visit", and more like, "let's bring over this Yankee hick so we can laugh at all the low-class American crap she'll do".

Noooo, it can't be. They're MATES, didn't you hear Tess say it?

 

[Gay Mouth]

Oh, fuck off, Tess. You could have taken your sixteen year old with you to see that 12th century chapel, but then you wouldn’t have been as free to feel the overwhelmingly beautiful energy. You drunk bloated whore

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

those old ruins are in better shape than this grease-shined shitpig braphog

 

[Anal birth]

A reminder that in Friends they claimed that Shropshire was part of London. By American logic the entire mainland is London.

At least the commuter belt reaches out into Hertfordshire.

 

[Gramlol]

"Wake up at 5 am halfway down a staircase with your neck at a right angle and your gut feels like a washing machine."

Been there, done that. More than I care to admit. I felt this description in my bones.

Thank God I'm old and don't do that shit anymore.

Haha oh god this was my entire Europe backpacking trip at 21. The same except hallway was set in Paris. Greattt choices there.
Tess is too old for this shit. And she really should have finished high school and grown up a bit before having a baby.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Haha oh god this was my entire Europe backpacking trip at 21. The same except hallway was set in Paris. Greattt choices there.
Tess is too old for this shit. And she really should have finished high school and grown up a bit before having a baby.

But she was 20 years old, not exactly an early teen mother.

And she blames her family and the state of Mississippi for not being able to abort Rylee so she could keep living the party-girl life.

 

[Oscar Winner]

This isn't really important, but I'm going to say it anyway lol: Given Tess' ego, and that she's a raging bitch, I have a theory that Rylees dad wasn't a one night stand. If that's really what happened, I don't think she'd admit it. I think maybe it was a casual thing, or FWB but she wanted more, failed at baby trapping him, so now he's a disposable sperm donor and Tess gets to play the victim all round. I'd bet Rylees dad knows he's his son, but Tess gambled with ”full relationship or nothing” and lost, and now she's bitter af and it's everyone else's fault, including Rylee.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

This isn't really important, but I'm going to say it anyway lol: Given Tess' ego, and that she's a raging bitch, I have a theory that Rylees dad wasn't a one night stand. If that's really what happened, I don't think she'd admit it. I think maybe it was a casual thing, or FWB but she wanted more, failed at baby trapping him, so now he's a disposable sperm donor and Tess gets to play the victim all round. I'd bet Rylees dad knows he's his son, but Tess gambled with ”full relationship or nothing” and lost, and now she's bitter af and it's everyone else's fault, including Rylee.

Maybe...
I was surprised she admitted Rylees' dad was a one night stand, but remembered she has NO shame about anything.
Seems like she would get more asspats if she said she was in a LTR and the guy dumped her when she told him she was pregnant.
"OMG, such a strong, brave, ka-weer single mom role moddul Tess is!"

 

[Oscar Winner]

Yeah, I'm surprised she admitted that too, and I agree she has no shame. I'd wondered if relegating him to a ONS was a “fuck you, you're not important to me” to the guy. She's such a liar though, so it's hard to know what the truth is. Tess doesn't play a strong long game, so she's going for quick fix arse pats in everything she does.