Left handers RISE UP.

Whenever I see somebody using their left hand to do anything in a movie, TV show or video game...

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You know one area where being left handed is actually advantageous? PC gaming with a mouse and keyboard. And ironically, it's because the keyboard is designed for right handers. With the mouse in the left hand (with buttons swapped for maximum effeciency) our right hand is on the keyboard. No bastard mutant control scheme like WASD for us, it's the good old cursor keys just like god intended. Plus enter for use, right shift for jump, right ctrl for crouch and the entire numpad to pick weapons.

Controller gaming is interesting. I'm not sure if it's an advantage to have movement on the left and action on the right. I know when the Atari 2600 was released they had the joystick on the right and the fire button on the left because they thought that's how most gamers would want it. The only time I've had trouble is when you're supposed to tap a fire button really fast like when Snake is being tortured, but in cases like that it's easy enough to flip the controller around just for that sequence. So it only really gets in the ways when it's a part of gameplay like E Honda's hundred hand slap, but that sort of thing doesn't come up too often.
 
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I think we actually tricked the righties into doing it our way with guitar handedness. Fretting is way easier when it's your dominant hand doing it, and the other one that's reduced to ever faster jerking off motions.
I don't think it's a coincidence that (outside of Hendrix, who was a freak), most famous guitarists who play lefty-style are reduced to little more than power chords.
 
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About the Muslims. They consider it mandatory to eat with your right hand and regard the left hand as the unclean one, used for picking your nose and wiping your ass. If I worked in a deli and they saw me preparing their sandwich with my left hand they would recoil and refuse to eat it. In which case I would apologise profusely and prepare them another one with my right hand. And after they finish eating it I would inform them that I, like most left handers, wipe my ass with my right hand because I eat with my left.
 
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Cyclonus said:
About the Muslims. They consider it mandatory to eat with your right hand and regard the left hand as the unclean one, used for picking your nose and wiping your ass. If I worked in a deli and they saw me preparing their sandwich with my left hand they would recoil and refuse to eat it. In which case I would apologise profusely and prepare them another one with my right hand. And after they finish eating it I would inform them that I, like most left handers, wipe my ass with my right hand because I eat with my left.
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Your avatar is right handed.
 
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Goddamn Iove being left handed. Had a button waaaay back when that said "Left Handers Do It Backwards". I wish I still had it...
 
When are they going to make a left handed dry erase board mine is always smeared :( Also, do any of you play old video games with the controller upside down? My left thumb is way faster than my right for shooters
 
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Being left-handed provides some benefit in casual sports. When I go up for a layup, people naturally try to stop my right hand, and my devil handedness gives me the advantage. The benefit obviously drops away in the upper levels.

But fuck sitting next to people when eating, constantly bumping elbows with those righties. Don't they understand I have an inherent need to be seated on the outside?
 
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Cyclonus said:
About the Muslims. They consider it mandatory to eat with your right hand and regard the left hand as the unclean one, used for picking your nose and wiping your ass. If I worked in a deli and they saw me preparing their sandwich with my left hand they would recoil and refuse to eat it. In which case I would apologise profusely and prepare them another one with my right hand. And after they finish eating it I would inform them that I, like most left handers, wipe my ass with my right hand because I eat with my left.
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That's gross and you should feel ashamed, but I support you in your quest for equality. Sure the sinister motherfuckers are more prone to everything that bothers us but we need to make an inviting home for freaks and deviants so that they don't feel so twisted up inside.
I've become what you call a virtuoso masterbater and all with my left hand.
Now, that hand is a dirty girl and I know why it's unholy to use it making food, but most people don't know that so it's fine.
Just remember that you're a freak and that we all tolerate you because the price of engineering ambidextrous can openers is larger than the cost of killing you all.
 
The Dude said:
LOL South Paws...you were all born defective and can't even operate normal firearms properly.
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Guns don’t take a lot of fine motor skill to operate. A left handed shooter is left handed because is left eye dominant
 
I plug in two mice for the computers that me and my coworkers use. One for me and the other for the peasant-class right handers
 
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