Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

[Foxymophandlemama]

Are women still wearing mermaid dresses? Those things look r*tarded and basically render the bride immobile for the whole night.

Oh yeah, it's not dying so soon. I absolutely despise it, went to a wedding once that the bride couldn't even kneel before the altar because of it (also the groom was wearing skating shoes and a snapback, the style choices were interesting).

Also I found really distasteful this kind of wedding topper (and similar decorations) that paints getting married as something bad for the groom, like a prison or something. Some can argue that it's a joke, but makes me want to ask "Why are you getting married?"


And to finish: I went to a wedding that was in this beautiful country house, really fancy. The problem is that it was a WEDNESDAY NIGHT, it was cold and the bride was 3 hours late (I know it's "tradition" but holy fuck), which caused the caterers to serve the food before the ceremony and when she finally arrived it was drizzling and it was held outside, no tents. Everyone's hair was ruined, nobody could sit down because the chairs were wet and the guests were overall miserable. We didn't stay for the party.

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

Oh yes! Proposals can totally be talked about here. I have also been to cons back in my weeb days and have seen this a lot too. It is annoying because well, it is like a contest. Why don't they do it afterwards or arrange something with the organizers to do it if they really want to propose.

I will say though, public proposals have a really bad chance of backfiring if you aren't sure that is what they want. First of all, you don't know if the person being proposed to will want to be the center of attention or maybe feel pressured to say yes and if they reject the proposal, well, you just embarrassed yourself and made your girlfriend (or boyfriend) uncomfortable. (I am so glad I had a nice private at-home proposal)

Also, proposals probably shouldn't be a total surprise, you should have at least talked about marriage seriously beforehand, the person being proposed to doesn't have to know the exact date or place, but they should know at least that it is coming up sometime.

At the convention I went to, you have the chance to rehearse your skit, NONE of the marriage shit happened there of course, so you can IMAGINE the utter shock and sudden stop of the performance when the ring popped out.

Everyone in the audience was clapping and excited but I was sitting here like "....Uhhh this is weird" while the girl shaking me was going 'IT'S SO CUTE KAIBA-CHAN OMGGGG" like she's never seen a proposal before.

Personally, I'd want something private, or if it was public no bigger than maybe a café? But I can't help but give props to some of those who REALLY go all out. I'm thinkin bout cartoon levels of "WILL YOU MARRY ME" written in the clouds types of going out.

What's everyone's thoughts on over the top proposals? I'm curious.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

What's everyone's thoughts on over the top proposals? I'm curious.

When I propose to the person who I want to be married to, I'm propositioning flatly, whether apropos of nothing or in the context of a casual conversation.

Anything more is wholly unnecessary. The people doing over-the-top proposals in public are actively relying on peer pressure to sway the winds in their favor, as far as I can tell.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

I think the worst wedding trend is that weddings still exist. Marriage is awesome, but the whole wedding industry is a massive scam. Tens of thousands of dollars to some overpaid grifters to throw a free party for the guests while the couple barely even remembers it. Funerals and weddings are two industries that need to be abolished. Gigantic waste of money. Elope and get cremated.

I'm kind of conflicted about this. One the one hand, I sometimes regret all the money and effort that went into my wedding (and quite a few things didn't go as planned -- it was pretty stressful). On the other, my FIL passed away a few months after our wedding. We had family members from my husband's side fly from various countries to be there. Some they hadn't seen in years. Because of the wedding, a lot of family got a last chance to see my FIL. That kind of makes it worth it.

The worst wedding trend I've ever seen (and I don't know if anyone still does this -- but I hope they don't) was pinning cash (I think they used pins -- maybe it was tape) to the bride's wedding dress. It was tacky and almost stripper-ish.

 

[ForgedBlades]

I got dragged to my high school girlfriend's cousin's wedding back in the day. Literally knew nobody outside of my girlfriend and her parents, and never saw anyone at the wedding ever again.

I made a conscious effort to get into as many photos as possible, most of them without my girlfriend. I did this for the sole purpose of trolling the couple, who will look back at their wedding photos and wonder who the fuck this random guy is in every one of them.

 

[Bakarina]

My "favorite" proposal-gone-wrong actually happened at an anime convention. And it's also why I don't really trust people who want to do "surprise" proposals.

Spoiler

It didn't happen during the contest but during a meet-up/photoshoot. Girl gets mad, rips the dude a new asshole and makes everyone there feel 3 inches tall. We all think the girl is a bitch and feel bad for the dude. Later on we all find out that this guy had more or less been harassing the girl to date him even though she was not interested and even planning her own wedding to someone that wasn't him (he was basically trying to use peer pressure into getting her to say "yes"). She ended up having to get the convention involved who ended up having to get the police involved because everything kept escalating.

The worst wedding trend I've ever seen (and I don't know if anyone still does this -- but I hope they don't) was pinning cash (I think they used pins -- maybe it was tape) to the bride's wedding dress. It was tacky and almost stripper-ish.

It's tacky no matter the occasion, even birthdays. Weddings probably more so.

 

[CHARizard]

Small ceremony (like 10 people max) and then a post nuptial party later is the way to go.

We did this, went on our honeymoon, and a few months later had the entire neighborhood and family over for a massive crab pick.

Ended up being MUCH cheaper than a huge todo wedding, and got to include everyone we wanted in a celebration.

 

[Snusmumriken]

I feel like the tradition of the father walking down the aisle with the bride to “give away” his daughter is kind of creepy, although probably all wedding traditions are based in some level of old-fashioned creepiness. Luckily at least in 2000s America it’s not some huge issue if you don’t do it or have someone else walk you down the aisle, but it’s just a thought that popped into my head. Reminds me of one of my favorite onion videos:

 

[Fialovy]

The worst wedding trend I've ever seen (and I don't know if anyone still does this -- but I hope they don't) was pinning cash (I think they used pins -- maybe it was tape) to the bride's wedding dress. It was tacky and almost stripper-ish.

Oh yes, the dollar dance, luckily that is dying, but I still see it sometimes in weddings of people of Eastern European descent.

I surprisingly don't mind the bouquet toss, I mean, I caught the bouquet once when I was eleven, but I do think people shouldn't be coerced to participate like people always seem to do. People are always so coercive to single women participating and I don't like that, people shouldn't have to participate if they don't want to, all it does is make those older single women bitter incels. Though I think the whole thing of making the people who caught the bouquet and garter dancing together and putting the garter on the girl who caught the bouquet is really bad, especially if you have underage people participating. Luckily, I didn't have to do that back when I caught it when I was a kid, instead, I got to dance with my cousin, the groom for the next song while the garter catcher got to dance with the bride.

What's everyone's thoughts on over the top proposals? I'm curious.

Hate them, I blame Instagram for everyone wanting magical over the top proposals. I have seen brides-to-be on wedding forums I lurk on for entertainment crying about how their proposal was not what they expected and was underwhelming. Seriously? You are getting married! What is so underwhelming about that.

Also, promposals, aka high schoolers setting up elaborate proposals to ask people to prom. Those are stupid as well. I see so many ideas on Pinterest for them and I am like, "Why are they a thing? What is just wrong asking 'Will you go to prom with me?' normally?" Heck, I doubt they will even still be dating after college like most high school relationships are.

 

[do you like my hat]

People are always so coercive to single women participating and I don't like that, people shouldn't have to participate if they don't want to, all it does is make those older single women bitter incels. Though I think the whole thing of making the people who caught the bouquet and garter dancing together and putting the garter on the girl who caught the bouquet is really bad, especially if you have underage people participating.

Wait, what? I have NEVER heard of the garter tradition before, is that common?

A lot of weddings are definitely awkward for single women though, and the pressure seems to start when you're way too young, which is shitty. It always comes with this cynical undercurrent of "well, everyone has to do it" or even "just wait until you're unhappily divorced too!" Like, focus on the couple who are actually tying the knot, guys!

 

[Bakarina]

Wait, what? I have NEVER heard of the garter tradition before, is that common?

A lot of weddings are definitely awkward for single women though, and the pressure seems to start when you're way too young, which is shitty. It always comes with this cynical undercurrent of "well, everyone has to do it" or even "just wait until you're unhappily divorced too!" Like, focus on the couple who are actually tying the knot, guys!

Yea and typically the guy makes it as creepy and uncomfortable as possible (as with just about everything that has to do with the garter). There is no need to remove the garter with your teeth!

One wedding I went to shortly after high school graduation had the couple get ready for the garter throw and the groom went to take it off only for a wardrobe malfunction to happen where the groom's cufflink ended up tangled in the skirt. It was one of those princess-esque dresses with the large skirt so there were inappropriate jears (from the older crowd!) about him being "under it for too long" and "getting lost under there" as he tried to free himself. The couple was thoroughly embarrassed by it.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Oh yes, the dollar dance, luckily that is dying, but I still see it sometimes in weddings of people of Eastern European descent.

I surprisingly don't mind the bouquet toss, I mean, I caught the bouquet once when I was eleven, but I do think people shouldn't be coerced to participate like people always seem to do. People are always so coercive to single women participating and I don't like that, people shouldn't have to participate if they don't want to, all it does is make those older single women bitter incels. Though I think the whole thing of making the people who caught the bouquet and garter dancing together and putting the garter on the girl who caught the bouquet is really bad, especially if you have underage people participating. Luckily, I didn't have to do that back when I caught it when I was a kid, instead, I got to dance with my cousin, the groom for the next song while the garter catcher got to dance with the bride.

Hate them, I blame Instagram for everyone wanting magical over the top proposals. I have seen brides-to-be on wedding forums I lurk on for entertainment crying about how their proposal was not what they expected and was underwhelming. Seriously? You are getting married! What is so underwhelming about that.

Also, promposals, aka high schoolers setting up elaborate proposals to ask people to prom. Those are stupid as well. I see so many ideas on Pinterest for them and I am like, "Why are they a thing? What is just wrong asking 'Will you go to prom with me?' normally?" Heck, I doubt they will even still be dating after college like most high school relationships are.

I went to a wedding with a high school friend as his +1. I didn't know either the bride or groom. I was pressured to join the crowd to catch the bouquet. I tried to stay in the back and out of the way but the damn bouquet came straight at me. So now I am in someone's wedding photos catching the bouquet (photographer even took a photo of me and the bride together). I don't even remember their names (and I'm sure they don't remember mine).

I feel for guys. The pressure to deliver some perfect promposal when, for some of them, it might be the very first time they've ever asked someone out is too much. Same thing with wedding proposals. I point blank told my husband when we first started talking about maybe getting married that if he asked me in public I would tell him no. It's a private moment and I don't want to share it with a bunch of random strangers gawking at us. It's even worse these days when people you don't know are filming it and posting it online.

Wait, what? I have NEVER heard of the garter tradition before, is that common?

A lot of weddings are definitely awkward for single women though, and the pressure seems to start when you're way too young, which is shitty. It always comes with this cynical undercurrent of "well, everyone has to do it" or even "just wait until you're unhappily divorced too!" Like, focus on the couple who are actually tying the knot, guys!

We had the garter thing at our wedding. I definitely don't recommend it. Or the bridal toss. We just did it because it was tradition. But that's a stupid reason to do it, lol.

A lot of people try to make removing the garter sexy. It's usually gross:



Here's another trend I don't get -- Weird wedding photos:

 

[do you like my hat]

Yea and typically the guy makes it as creepy and uncomfortable as possible (as with just about everything that has to do with the garter). There is no need to remove the garter with your teeth!

One wedding I went to shortly after high school graduation had the couple get ready for the garter throw and the groom went to take it off only for a wardrobe malfunction to happen where the groom's cufflink ended up tangled in the skirt. It was one of those princess-esque dresses with the large skirt so there were inappropriate jears (from the older crowd!) about him being "under it for too long" and "getting lost under there" as he tried to free himself. The couple was thoroughly embarrassed by it.

There is definitely no need for the teeth thing. Christ Almighty. That poor couple, I can imagine how awkward it'd be to get tangled up in one of those skirts.

 

[Fareal]

When I propose to the person who I want to be married to, I'm propositioning flatly, whether apropos of nothing or in the context of a casual conversation.

Anything more is wholly unnecessary. The people doing over-the-top proposals in public are actively relying on peer pressure to sway the winds in their favor, as far as I can tell.

Gentle advice? Not TOO casually. A quiet dinner is fine, but you need to be clear this is a serious talk. You want to be sure your intended actually realises you are serious. This happens more than you think.

When it happened to me, the discussion was so casual - I was in the shops picking a shampoo at the time - I was absolutely 100% certain it was only banter, and in the answering jokey banter I definitely exceeded the Hurtful Truth Level about why it would never work and I would not consider it. It is important to note we were not dating at the time. I was blindsided by this turn of events and it did not enter my head that he actually meant it.

Then I was faced in the street with someone who was very angry, very upset and screaming at me “what am I going to do with this ring, you cunt”. Looked down and oh, indeed there was a ring. Blurted out “Jesus Christ, I didn’t think you were serious”. Unpleasant scene followed. Ring didn’t fit, never has, but he got it in a sale so he wouldn’t return it.

I can’t say this was a romantic moment in my life, and perhaps in hindsight when my initial reaction was to laugh and recoil, I should not have backed down in the face of his understandable distress. But. It is a very serious question, and the person you are asking deserves to know it’s being asked seriously. I would have approached the whole issue differently if I had been on my guard for it coming.

 

[Angel Dust]

Gentle advice? Not TOO casually. A quiet dinner is fine, but you need to be clear this is a serious talk. You want to be sure your intended actually realises you are serious. This happens more than you think.

When it happened to me, the discussion was so casual - I was in the shops picking a shampoo at the time - I was absolutely 100% certain it was only banter, and in the answering jokey banter I definitely exceeded the Hurtful Truth Level about why it would never work and I would not consider it. It is important to note we were not dating at the time. I was blindsided by this turn of events and it did not enter my head that he actually meant it.

Then I was faced in the street with someone who was very angry, very upset and screaming at me “what am I going to do with this ring, you cunt”. Looked down and oh, indeed there was a ring. Blurted out “Jesus Christ, I didn’t think you were serious”. Unpleasant scene followed. Ring didn’t fit, never has, but he got it in a sale so he wouldn’t return it.

I can’t say this was a romantic moment in my life, and perhaps in hindsight when my initial reaction was to laugh and recoil, I should not have backed down in the face of his understandable distress. But. It is a very serious question, and the person you are asking deserves to know it’s being asked seriously. I would have approached the whole issue differently if I had been on my guard for it coming.

Please for the love of God tell me you didn't accept this proposal and didn't marry this person

 

[Fialovy]

We had the garter thing at our wedding. I definitely don't recommend it. Or the bridal toss. We just did it because it was tradition. But that's a stupid reason to do it, lol.

A lot of people try to make removing the garter sexy. It's usually gross:

Oh no, using teeth is waaaaaaaay too far, I totally agree. The best I've seen done is the bride taking off the garter herself and handing it to the groom. Definitely less awkward. Another reason why I think it is going away aside from awkwardness? Mermaid dresses.... those things are impossible to wear a garter with

Here's another trend I don't get -- Weird wedding photos:

Oh geez, surprisingly there are a lot of photos of the bride (and sometimes bridesmaids!) pretending to give a blowjob to the groom/groomsmen that I have seen floating around and it is just... why?

Spoiler

 

[Kuwomi]

Also I found really distasteful this kind of wedding topper (and similar decorations) that paints getting married as something bad for the groom, like a prison or something. Some can argue that it's a joke, but makes me want to ask "Why are you getting married?"

I feel the same way! Though I've never liked the whole "bitchy controlling wife and poor hapless husband" trope anyway. It feels so depressing; marriage is supposed to be something where both people pull their own weight and love each other equally, yeah? But with things like that it's almost like you're just setting up for an eventual bitter divorce.

Plus it can't be good for kids, you know? There's a whole pressure to get married when you're older, but what they learn from this stuff is that marriage = being stuck with someone you hate until you die. Just feels like kind of an unhealthy thing to expose them to.

 

[Fialovy]

I feel the same way! Though I've never liked the whole "bitchy controlling wife and poor hapless husband" trope anyway. It feels so depressing; marriage is supposed to be something where both people pull their own weight and love each other equally, yeah? But with things like that it's almost like you're just setting up for an eventual bitter divorce.

This reminds me of this book I received to help me with wedding planning and it was called "The Bride's Instruction Manual" and out of curiosity, I also picked up the "Groom's instruction manual" and I read both and while the bride's guide was basically all about wedding planning, the groom's was basically saying that his opinion was lesser than the bride's opinion and to just put up with bridezilla.. It basically just told the groom that he had hardly any say and to let the women do all the planning.

I mean, there are certainly some guys who trust their fiancees and let them do all the work which is fine, but it is very much his wedding too and if he wants to help with planning and take an active role, he very much should be allowed to.

Though, the Groom's guide did have some stuff that should have been included in the bride's guide like what to do the night before as well as getting ready the day of and what to expect. It even included stuff like about the wedding night (and that you will probably be too tired for sex and that is okay), planning the honeymoon, planning the first dance, the bachelor party and what not to do, information on prenups etc. that a bride would probably find very helpful as well and it is a shame it wasn't included.

 

[Xarpho]

Most of my weddings I've been to (haven't had my own for obvious reasons...) were pretty traditional owing largely to my family's cultural conservatism and lack of weird friends. The weddings I've been to I can remember because they were far and few between. Plus I'm a dude, so I don't have some sort of hyper-critical eye for these things.

Most were traditional Christian weddings held in either a church or events hall. The only exception was I had a cousin that got married with some "wacky" elements like vague video game themes and some non-traditional wedding music including video game soundtracks, movie soundtracks, and the Soviet national anthem, as well as a Minecraft-themed wedding cake. In retrospect, it sounded like a compromise between going all out with tacky consumerism and having a traditional wedding.

When my sister got married a few years ago, the compromise seemed to be between a big spectacle wedding my sister wanted to lean toward and my mother's more financially conservative viewpoint (who had a wedding on a very shoestring budget--borrowed a wedding dress, had a friend do the photos, prepared the food themselves).

As for trends, the last two weddings I went to involved holding sparklers which the groom and bride pass between.

 

[Bakarina]

As for trends, the last two weddings I went to involved holding sparklers which the groom and bride pass between.

That sounds like it could have easily gone wrong and potentially set someone on fire.