The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%

  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%

  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,258
tiggles said:
Have they said who is going to the con other than Kevin who will work the late shift? Was it sky alone at the tranch for the last con?

I’m trying to guess what insane stunt kindness is going to pull during the con. Currently I would guess penny and Bonnie are both among the going; kindness follows them to the con and penny going apoplectic. Or just suicide baits from her bath tub, which is boring and lame.
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It looks like Bonnie got left behind.

Screenshot_20211020-061059_Twitter.jpg
 
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AGPinochet said:
I am sorely disappointed that at least according to the whole minute I spent researching that there isn't going to be any snow in the Colorado/Utah/Nevada area when the tranchers are driving through.
However instead of talking about chances of snow, any chance we'll see tweets about mormon bigot chuds, real or imaginary? Has Earl been recruiting an LDS (or even more spicily, an FLDS) Army to the east to outflank the Tranch?
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Mormons are part of my Chadiban, despite their weirdness.
Can't expect God to do all the work.
 
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Apotheosis of the Liver said:
My main problem with the (Mass grave) earth barn is that it looks to be a bitch to clean out. Seems too short to drive the tractor into, plus no concrete means your digging out fill every time they clean it out. Of course they won't clean it out so the issue is redundant.
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Why would they need to clean out their death pit? The entire purpose is to bury things they don't want, like dead alpacas, all their poop, unsold fiber, garbage, and whoever Bonnie and/or Penny kill when they snap with access to all those guns in the house.
 
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Boris Blank's glass eye said:
Alcatran? Alpacatraz? AGP Ghraib? Guntanamo?
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My favourite one of these is "Troonblinka"
safety math said:
I thought those were tarot cards, but one is literally just a picture of a dolphin. He can’t even do middle-school-edgy right. I can’t believe we ever thought Bonnie was the Tranch protagonist.
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I think they're oracle cards. Here's another angle (caption: "magic is art therapy")
FCI8h4eVQAggsYX.jpg

Basically tarot is a bullshit parlor game where you interpret the cards to have certain meanings and so pretend you're being offered guidance about the future or whatever. It's aided by cold reading and guessing what the person wants to hear.

However there's supposed to be a pattern to interpretation (e.g. "sevens represent a need to introspect, and cups represent fulfillment, so as it's in your significator position in this spread and it's inverted, it's showing that at this time the emotional refuge you once sought is not healthy and you're currently feeling fearful and confused, needing to search within for guidance and clarity on how you truly feel"). Therefore it's technically possible to read them wrong ("Oh, seven of cups! Well the cups are made of gold so I think it means you're going to be really rich!"). So you basically need to study them (or google that stuff, but that kinda ruins the I'm A Magical Priestess Seeing The Future bullshit Bonnie is larping at).

Enter oracle cards. Oracle cards are mostly just pretty pictures, sometimes with writing that literally tells you things like "Beware of negative energy, you may be sensitive to emotional vampires". They're not standardised, so Bonnie probably bought a "spirit animal oracle" because Peruvian (no Peruvians didn't have spirit animals). There's no spreads where the cards in different positions are supposed to mean different things, there's no esoteric symbolism you're supposed to have learned to interpret, you just pull out a card with a dolphin that says "remember to smile" and you personally interpret it to mean whatever you want because it's a message to you and only you, so you conclude that this means you should smuggle Kindness to the ranch again. It's tarot for people who want to pretend to be spooky, but are too lazy/exceptional to even manage tarot.
 
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I know this is wildly optimistic, but I want Bonnie to change the locks while all the other troons are away. The Tranny Waco armed standoff we all hoped for, but it's Bonnie and maybe Alyssa versus all the others.

Kidding, but I do wonder if they left BonBon behind because last time they took him to a con he couldn't keep his flaccid dick in his pants and brought back the walking STD known as Alyssa.
 
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AprilRains said:
They're not going to Texas. They're going to Reno, Nevada. I'm not sure which exceptional individual started saying they were going to Texas, but Reno, Texas has under 3,000 people in it, and the closest major city is Fort Worth, which will not want furry business. No one is going to a furry convention there.
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It was me. I’m the retard. I apologize for the confusion, after going through Kevin’s twitter feed to find his con tweets I must’ve lost a lot of brain cells.

But I have some new tweets, they’re presumably in Reno right now. [A]651672FD-1937-4A2B-98B0-CFC48941D72D.jpeg
Kevin faced the daunting reality of not being on Twitter every five minutes during the ride. [A]996D0961-450A-4179-A7E7-C7862B4D4107.jpeg
Poor Kevin was also afflicted by lack of sleep since the truck’s heater is broken, but the fact that he gets to dick around for the day before acting like he’s doing something productive at the con is keeping his spirits bright. [A]
06F41AC2-35F1-41F8-BE9D-9357B665F1AB.jpeg
The Tranch plugged their GoFraudMe in a tweet full of blatant lies yesterday, and the only statement that holds some crumb of truth is the one about cute pacas (they are cute, but the fact that they are malnourished and starving is kind of not really wholesome, guys). [A] 24A98DEB-37F7-451E-A1BE-D4A400203256.jpeg
 
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AssignedEva said:
Enter oracle cards. Oracle cards are mostly just pretty pictures, sometimes with writing that literally tells you things like "Beware of negative energy, you may be sensitive to emotional vampires". They're not standardised, so Bonnie probably bought a "spirit animal oracle" because Peruvian (no Peruvians didn't have spirit animals). There's no spreads where the cards in different positions are supposed to mean different things, there's no esoteric symbolism you're supposed to have learned to interpret, you just pull out a card with a dolphin that says "remember to smile" and you personally interpret it to mean whatever you want because it's a message to you and only you, so you conclude that this means you should smuggle Kindness to the ranch again. It's tarot for people who want to pretend to be spooky, but are too lazy/exceptional to even manage tarot.
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I was wondering what the market was for those dumb things. At least tarot cards are cool looking…
 
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