My best friend is getting married in a week, I've been waiting to send in all that has happened until after the wedding, but after reading your site, I can't help myself.
I was married 6 years ago (today actually) and my bridezilla was my MOH. For my bachelorette party, she hired a stripper, and said "now, everyone can chip in $10 and we'll order pizza." My mom thankfully caught wind of this about 2 weeks before, and hosted the party, bought all the food and alcohol and got lost when the stripper came (I have a very cool mom!) I even bought the invitations myself because MOH said "She didn't have the money and she'd pay me back..." (never happened). I would also like to mention, she never attended any showers or other events.
So imagine my surprise when I was asked to be her MOH and was told EXACTLY, with no unclear terms what she expected (as opposed to trusting I know the etiquette for a wedding), I am complying because it is her wedding day, and much to my mother's disapproval I don't think I should use this time to "get even" So I'm going to give you a list of all the things that have been going on and call this my getting even...
1. Bride had her BM fittings in January on a weekend... no big deal right? Wrong. MASSIVE blizzard and ice storm. I called 3 days before and told her that it was supposed to be bad (ended up being the worst in this area in like 10 years) and suggested that she move her appointment to the next weekend for the safety of everyone. The fitting was 45 minutes across town for everyone. She refused, and launched into a tirade. My husband ended up driving me because I don't drive on ice and snow well. He was greeted with "You're not allowed here! Leave." Which was fine, he had already planned on playing pool with my brother while we were doing fittings. I still thought it was rude, as if he had not driven I wouldn't have gone. It took us 3 hours to get home that night because the weather was so bad it was freezing to our windshield faster than we could use the wipers to get it off! Thankfully no one crashed.
2. After the fitting, I find a scathing live journal blog about how the bride's "supposed best friend and MOH" (a direct quote from her blog) tried to talk her out of the day of her fitting and how I rely on my husband too much and that I should "get over it" and learn to drive... there is much more...
3. I receive demands that not only am I hosting a Bachelorette party, but a shower as well. Everything I have read says either, or... but I agree because it is the Bride's (hopefully) only wedding. I then receive a guest list of about 50 for the Bachelorette party. Most of whom are out of state. When I ask, I'm told that they'll send gifts. I ended up only inviting the ones within driving distance. I did send the ones out of state to the shower I am ashamed of saying, but only because the Bride had called everyone and told them to expect them (no one sent gifts though
.) The MOB wants to have the shower in her home because the MOB mother is elderly and was worried about the stairs in my home. I agree and spend the next 3 months trying to sort out plans.. In the end I was only responsible for games, set up, and clean up. Which I was nice considering all the work for the Bachelorette party. Though I kept asking for more to do so that the MOB wouldn't be put out.
4. The Bachelorette party had many problems in itself, though most not due to the Bride, which I will probably post at a later date. However, there were 2 problems the Bride was responsible for. I had set the date with the Bride 3 months before (I'm one of those plan early people) I verified it THREE times. Literally the day I filled all the invites out, I receive a call at midnight, the Bride wants to go to Vegas, so I have to figure it out, AND redo, re-stamp, and send all the invitations. Why was she going to Vegas? A family reunion... which she knew about months before I suggested the date.. her excuse, her mom was making her (a 26 year old) attend. The Bride also showed up 45 minutes late! She called the THREE people (since the party was moved from a Saturday to a Friday.. no choice on that one) that showed that it was my fault she was late... according to her I kept her on the phone for 30 minutes. I pulled out my cell phone and showed them the log, I had talked to her for 2 and a half minutes. We all laughed this off, as the Bride will probably be late to her own wedding..
5. The Bridal shower was the following weekend, and everything went great aside from Grandma complaining about the games (I did a couple match like I gave Harriet, and you had to insert Ozzie. I tried to pick couples that everyone would have an equal chance of knowing) but as the MOH I did everything I could to make sure things went well, even though the Bride had refused to play any games, and threatened to go walk the dog. Her mom was able to talk her into not leaving as long as we didn't play the TP bridal gown game.
6. The registry. OH MY GOD. Bride's mother and I are close, I call her my 2nd mom. Well mom2 asked me to go with the Bride to help her with the registry as I am usually able to talk sense into her and as I was recently married and had a better idea of what she would need. I was able to talk her out of a great deal of things and we had a nice registry that had a range from $5 - $100 (china). We wanted to make sure that while no one was obligated to bring a gift, that if a person really wanted to that they would have something in their budget. Everything was settled... so I thought. I went to print of a registry to take a gift to her shower, I about fell into the floor. I pulled 1 from a major department store 50 PAGES!... she had been busy. Now added to the registry were matching Wiis, PS2, laptops, FOUR cameras, about SIX PAGES of cds, video games for the consoles she wants and so on. Later I looked at her other 2 registries, they were even worse. To top that all off, there was no longer a nice range for budget minded people, the cheapest thing on any of her lists was $25 bucks, and those were items she said she only added so she could return them. After seeing this, I refused to buy into the Gimme Grab, I purchased her a microwave tea kettle (not on her registry) and have decided to create scrapbooks for her showers as a wedding gift. Oh yeah.. she included the registry cards in her wedding invitations! All 4 of them! I can understand a shower invitation, though that's pushing it, but a WEDDING invitation!?
7. I later made the suggestion that some people might look at her registry and purchase gifts at local stores, or for cheaper. (I have done this many times, as long as you're careful to pick the EXACT item and include a gift receipt if they need to return) The Bride's response? "I'd rather they not get me anything at all and not come!" she has said countless times that if people can't buy her something nice that she wants then she doesn't want them to come!
8. I have witnessed the Bride SCREAMING at her deployed husband about how he wasn't going to ruin HER wedding.. I have tried many many times to remind her that it is his wedding to, as well as try to help her understand that a wedding in the end is a wedding, and that if she wants to start her marriage on the right foot she needs to learn how to compromise with her FH. She sent him to another department store to create a fifth registry, but decided he didn't register for anything good and is not telling anyone about that one.. (I thought about purchasing something of that one just to make sure the groom gets something he wants)
9. She is excluding the MOG on just about everything. She refuses to be "kidnapped" even though it is a tradition in his family, she refuses to have a rehearsal dinner saying "If you let them have their way now, they'll walk all over her." No garter toss (even though the groom wants one), the groom has been told he can't invited certain military friends because the bride doesn't know them and thinks their behavior might ruin HER day.
10. The Bride had demanded that I throw both her showers in April. I was a student who was graduating at the end of May. (whoo!) When I explained to her that not only was that time going to be too busy for me, but that you don't throw showers 5 months in advance! She argued with me on that one, but in the end said (I swear I'm not making this up), "I'll be gracious and allow you to graduate first, and have your day." She then proceeded to make every graduation party a wedding day. At my family dinner, my mom actually told her, "This is not a day to talk about the wedding!" (I love my mom!) At my graduation my cousin attended who is getting married the same day as my Bridezilla. Bridezilla spent the WHOLE morning telling my cousin that I was not going to her wedding because Bridezilla's was more important because she had spent more money on her wedding. (I took my cousin aside and told her that if I hadn't already bought my dress etc, I'd back out) I thought this stopped after I yelled at her, but found out later she only kept it up when I wasn't watching, my cousin went home (6 hour drive) in tears.
I keep trying to reason with the Bride that she is making herself miserable with all her tantrums and that she should take a step back. I understand that planning is stressful, but she is focusing so much on her details, that I'm afraid if 1 thing doesn't go right next week that she'll see her day as ruined. Or I'll find some insanely made up story about how everyone else ruined her day on etiquette hell
Bridezillas0714-07
