Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

“For the first time in years…” became her new “I’m obsessed”
Liar-liar-feet-on-fire.

 

[Water-T]

Guys, it's not that Tess can't get a single desperate man to fuck her - it's that she's practicing abstinence for the good of her soul, and she's not going to fuck anyone until she finds someone WORTHY.

Translation:

"He needs to look like a European swimsuit model, have 12 pack abs, a tongue like Gene Simmons, a porn-star sized dick, and richer than Donald Trump."

The heat death of the universe will occur before Tess hooks up with anyone that even meets one of those criteria.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Guys, it's not that Tess can't get a single desperate man to fuck her - it's that she's practicing abstinence for the good of her soul, and she's not going to fuck anyone until she finds someone WORTHY.

I guess she doesn't count blowies and cake sitting and fold fucking sex.
View attachment 2652141

That’s a lot of words to say “I don’t think sleeping around with ppl idgaf about is the right way to go at the moment.”

Tess: “OMG me tooooo, I’m holding out for that special someone! That’s why I’m single! Because I turned down all the free no-strings sex I’m constantly showered in! I’m a SUPERMODDLE!!!”

KF remembers a few months ago, when Tess posted a whinge about how men didn’t want to be seen with her in public. Just like slamhog Chantal. Then she took a page out of Chantal’s elementary-school playbook and announced she was totally fucking a tall hot ripped man, apropos of nothing, on her shite podcast. You wouldn’t know him, he doesn’t go to this school.

Definitely not trying to make cakejohns jealous and agree to be seen with her in public.

It’s funny to watch this self-important twit refuse to settle for an average-looking feeder, which is all she can land after pissing all over Tinseltown with her horrid attitude and refusing to stop stuffing herself with cakes and booze. She really wants a man with A-list looks and I don’t think she quite understands that she’s more likely to be an astronaut at this point.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

It stands to reason the Deathfats forum would pull a few HAES hypocrites into its orbit.

Dying "sad, weak and with a rotten foot" is way more likely to be the fate of the morbidly obese than people who spent a few years binge-drinking and hoovering drain cleaner off filthy club toilet seats, but if Karen-in-Black over here wants to grumble and point its sausage fingers at us (with a fork in the other hand), I'm happy to jeer and whistle until it lumbers off.

I never hoovered drain cleaner off of filthy toilet seats, I used the top of the tank like any proper hoochie does.
Toilet seats are for amateurs.

 

[cactus]

Guys, it's not that Tess can't get a single desperate man to fuck her - it's that she's practicing abstinence for the good of her soul, and she's not going to fuck anyone until she finds someone WORTHY.

I guess she doesn't count blowies and cake sitting and fold fucking sex.
View attachment 2652141

lmao, so Tess is an incel now?

 

[rocknrollmartian]

I think she's now "abstinent" because she's officially unable to have penetrative sex, even as a "bratty bottom," lmao. Maybe she tried with a desperate mope in "London" and couldn't physically do it.

Also, imagine scolding people while telling them to throw out all sense of normalcy just so you can feel good about weighing 450 pounds. Her addiction is raw and raging.

Further, fat and trans people have absolutely not "always existed," at least not in the way she's claiming. That entire premise is a pernicious lie, and I'm v tired, too, that naive kids and particularly malleable lefties believe this slop and expect sensible people to effect policy over it and treat it as gospel truth. #lmnop #stfu

 

[blue gopher snakes]

Tess exists in such a fascinating overlap between narcissism and gluttony. Do you think she realizes she’s a liar or does she curate her own relationship with reality in real time alongside those watching her?

 

[Water-T]

I think she's now "abstinent" because she's officially unable to have penetrative sex, even as a "bratty bottom," lmao. Maybe she tried with a desperate mope in "London" and couldn't physically do it.

OI, YOU BLOODY STEPTIC! I CAN'T FIND YOUR FOOKIN FANNY UNDERNEATH THAT MASSIVE DERBY KELLY!

 

[DeusVult]

As an American, I say we do not want RYAN Hooves back.

I propose we send her to Tristan da Cunha.
She'll LOVE the local cuisine. Might even make her lose weight for a change.

I know that I'm late, but I just wanted to point out that if you check google maps there is this place between Egypt and Sudan that is a no man's land - literally nobody wants this piece of land. We can dump her there, she'll be fine - she has enough fat to last 1000 years and there are no pesky white men to bother her.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I don't think I've ever actually met more than maybe 3 people over the age of 14 who unironically think horoscopes actually mean anything. Where do you even find these people? Do they also think the paper in fortune cookies is divine providence?

Oh they exist in large numbers, you’d really be surprised. They’re basically Tess-tier people who believe life is predestined, which is why they’re fat, deep in debt from consoomerism, etc.

It’s funny to watch this self-important twit refuse to settle for an average-looking feeder,

It’s doubtful she can even do that. The few guys who want to associate with Tess refuse to want to be seen with her in public and certainly not on Instagram. There are guys who will stick their dicks into anything and yet they won’t fuck Tess. Imagine how much of a butterhog she is that she can’t find anyone who wants to associate with her. Although the best she’s been able to do in life is Nick, a gay guy who only bothered to marry her to get a green card. Now that she’s several years older and 150 pounds heavier? Forget about it.

lmao, so Tess is an incel now?

The best she can be is a feeder to satisfy some guy’s fetish who has his needs met after she farts on a cake. He has no investment in her emotional needs and wants (that’s what the money is for) and probably leaves immediately after so he doesn’t have to hear her incessant babbling and blubbering.

Tess exists in such a fascinating overlap between narcissism and gluttony. Do you think she realizes she’s a liar or does she curate her own relationship with reality in real time alongside those watching her?

The latter. Her narcissism is as such that she feels the only reason why no man ever wants her is because they are intimidated at such a sexy babe who is strong and independent. Know plenty of dateless wonders who are painful to be around but think it’s for reasons other than themselves. Some eventually start to be honest with themselves but most won’t. Tubbers will never admit, either to others or herself, that she’s a disgusting butterhog.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Guys, it's not that Tess can't get a single desperate man to fuck her - it's that she's practicing abstinence for the good of her soul, and she's not going to fuck anyone until she finds someone WORTHY.

I guess she doesn't count blowies and cake sitting and fold fucking sex.
View attachment 2652141

Awww what's the matter Tess. The John's she hoped to book in London are actually non existent? Because despite the constant Hail Mary's that fat is sexy that HAES practice ... wanting to pump tank truck sized dr zoidbergs is actually a very niche fetish. Plus probably definitely find a tank truck who has a better personality.

I wonder if she tried to go on a pick up mission in a few bars or post a hey feeder network, ya superwaddle is in London, hit a fold up! and it failed spectacularly. Sounds like it to me.

Very late ti the game but that Ave Mario restaurant got slated - did she wear wedges? I hope she did. Covent garden with its coble stones is no joke. Taken out many a good tipsy girlfriend. If paid good money to see her flubber perilously on those stones. Like a great quaking blancmange from the children's book.

I'm just kinda astounded that she has such little brain power that she didn't use this trip for so much sponsored or flogging her terrible shit. Like it's colder in London so I'm using this product instead of this as it helps keep skin moisturised. Or even maybe something on her level - go to a goddamn cake shop and do a cake lover review. Everyone would buy that because look at her. Bitch loves cake. (It wouldn't be to kiwi tastes) but there are enough stuoid and or fatties for a cake audience.

 

[Chicken Neck Nelly]

Just got a bit of a blast from the past on Youtube cause a Bearing video got recommended to me, and it's a pretty good video too. The thumbnail is fucking disgusting.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

youtu.be

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I wonder if she tried to go on a pick up mission in a few bars or post a hey feeder network, ya superwaddle is in London, hit a fold up! and it failed spectacularly. Sounds like it to me.

Tubbers definitely expects attractive and other high status men to hit on her. She probably saw her friends hook up with their boyfriends and other guys and there she is, the baddest bitch on both sides of the pond and the life of the party, going without. With all the clarity of a drunken and diabetic brain fog from her nonstop sugary alcoholic drinks, she declares that she only wants guys that she will never get. Truly brilliant and big brained but you are exactly right, it’s because she’s going without. The only alternative to femceldom is self improvement and we all know how Ryann feels about that.

 

[Orange Rhymer]

The new AI 'arms race':
Beauty filters Vs. Deathfat Women.

(Thea real reason why there is a semiconductor shortage)

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Omg my sides! She wants us to believe that she's rejecting hot sex gods left and right, huh? She must be seeeeething that even drunk britbongs aren't hitting on her.

She obnoxious af to go out with sure, but the other girls will look so much better in comparison so of course they want to go out with her.

 

[multiverse]

Tess posted more photos from the baths - and despite how definitely she adores her fat body, she won't be photographed from the front lest anyone see her multiple hanging fupas.

I decided to lighten these up so we can see what she's trying to hide; in the standing shot she's done a crap job of shooping her tree trunk laygs into mere stumps.

I clicked some weird shit that can't be her swimsuit digging into her folds; does she have an abcess?

Spoiler

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

I'm so sorry, but I ask again how does one look at these and go "Hell yeah I look damn fine, Imma post these for everyone to see!!!"?

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Those baths did nothing to deserve that fate. Her folds have to be full of yeast and other nasty shit. I really hope that black hole is not an abscess. She's a walking public health hazard.

Late but I need Tess in Japan. If I can't get Corissa and JULIANA to fund a fatty trip to Mongolia, then I at least want to see Tess post about how Japanese cake isn't as sweet as American cake or her crying discrimination for not being able to fit into a capsule hotel.

I'm so sorry, but I ask again how does one look at these and go "Hell yeah I look damn fine, Imma post these for everyone to see!!!"?

The same sort of delusion someone has by saying that they're anorexic when they're 450 pounds.

 

[NoReturn]

Spoiler

Late but I need Tess in Japan. If I can't get Corissa and JULIANA to fund a fatty trip to Mongolia, then I at least want to see Tess post about how Japanese cake isn't as sweet as American cake or her crying discrimination for not being able to fit into a capsule hotel.

I've wanted to go to Japan since the 5th grade and now I can't go anywhere yet this chunk of dough gets to go see ancient baths in LOUYNDUN.
There is no justice in this world.

Tess posted more photos from the baths - and despite how definitely she adores her fat body, she won't be photographed from the front lest anyone see her multiple hanging fupas.

I decided to lighten these up so we can see what she's trying to hide; in the standing shot she's done a crap job of shooping her tree trunk laygs into mere stumps.

I clicked some weird shit that can't be her swimsuit digging into her folds; does she have an abcess?
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I think that's a lump folding in on itself.

Oh no! Haters!

 

[multiverse]

I think that's a lump folding in on itself.

Maybe, but it looks awfully puckered for a fold; maybe it's the far end of one of her c-section scars?