Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Oh no! Haters!

Just a little clarification: “and I am told that I am fat and should lose weight…”
And the last one (хззз) is either meant to be sarcastic “yeah, sure” ”ну Хуй Знает” or laughing smile (like XD). Former fits better though.

 

[SnoopGoop]

Tess posted more photos from the baths - and despite how definitely she adores her fat body, she won't be photographed from the front lest anyone see her multiple hanging fupas.

I decided to lighten these up so we can see what she's trying to hide; in the standing shot she's done a crap job of shooping her tree trunk laygs into mere stumps.

I clicked some weird shit that can't be her swimsuit digging into her folds; does she have an abcess?
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Jesus my eyes

 

[cactus]

Tubbers definitely expects attractive and other high status men to hit on her. She probably saw her friends hook up with their boyfriends and other guys and there she is, the baddest bitch on both sides of the pond and the life of the party, going without. With all the clarity of a drunken and diabetic brain fog from her nonstop sugary alcoholic drinks, she declares that she only wants guys that she will never get. Truly brilliant and big brained but you are exactly right, it’s because she’s going without. The only alternative to femceldom is self improvement and we all know how Ryann feels about that.

The best she can expect is a Mexican, they like big women, but even I think she's too big for them since they generally want a woman who is mobile so she can, at the very least, clean and cook. And probably a reachable warm hole that they can fuck.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

"Sensual, beautiful, strong & capable" people would have the clout to not be erased from history & if they were that aspirational, historians would go out of their way to include them in oral & written histories.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Tess posted more photos from the baths - and despite how definitely she adores her fat body, she won't be photographed from the front lest anyone see her multiple hanging fupas.

Tess thinks her gigantic ass is anything other than a total embarrassment so of course she shows it off. It feels like some kind of historical injustice is being committed with those photos

The best she can expect is a Mexican, they like big women, but even I think she's too big for them since they generally want a woman who is mobile so she can, at the very least, clean and cook. And probably a reachable warm hole that they can fuck.

Tess talks about how she has to really contort her body just for her waxer to navigate through the folds. I truly think Tess is too fat for penetrative sex. There are other ways to have intimacy other than a penis going into a vagina but Tess is only interested in things that only give pleasure and validation to her. So her sucking some guy’s dick is going to be out of the question. That’s something Tubbers never factors in: if hell freezes over and she gets a hot guy, how can she expect to keep him around if he can’t actually have sex with her? Even pornstar-length dongs aren’t going to be enough.

"Sensual, beautiful, strong & capable" people would have the clout to not be erased from history & if they were that aspirational, historians would go out of their way to include them in oral & written histories.

A shame that Tess isn’t considered any of those. In fact, she’s abrasive, ugly, weak, and incapable. And fat. Very fat.

 

[multiverse]

The best she can expect is a Mexican, they like big women, but even I think she's too big for them since they generally want a woman who is mobile so she can, at the very least, clean and cook. And probably a reachable warm hole that they can fuck.

Mexican guys are used to floors so clean you can eat off them, and top notch cooking three meals per day. Ryann is way too lazy to bag a Mexican.

If she had more gibs me dats, she might be able to get a black guy to fuck her around the first of the month. She's collecting whatever she can siphon off Nick, plus her one Flabletics check per month. But unfortunately even that one monthly Fabletics check boosts her out of the EBT / WIC / rent voucher income level. If she got herself declared too fat to work, a nigga might if she makes him her SSDI payee. But only for a day or two, then he'd fuck off til the next check.

I'm wondering if she's lost a major patron, for her to be seeking Dongs All Over The World (and failing). She couldn't even drum up some sponsored content posts for an international trip - not a face wash, not a travel shoe, not relaxation kit for the jet setting influencer, nada - so if she's losing johns we're nearing the end of her scam game.

 

[FarmerKhourtney]

Too far on the pelvis to be a c section scar, IMO
Unless something horrific happened

 

[RainbowStarlight]

I was thinking something similar. 'Murican here, and I've been loving the Brit Kiwis' reactions to Tess's trip. I'm learning so much about slang and pub culture!

Heck, I want to her to keep traveling! If she goes to Spain, any Spanish Kiwis will have fascinating insights into what she's doing wrong. Ditto with France or Italy. It's like a weird form of goodwill tour, with everyone uniting to enjoy picking apart what she's doing wrong.

Lol I would pay money for her to go to Asia. Maybe somewhere in Eastern Asia like Thailand or Laos where they give no shits and hold back nothing with loud fat tourists.

 

[NoReturn]

The best she can expect is a Mexican, they like big women, but even I think she's too big for them since they generally want a woman who is mobile so she can, at the very least, clean and cook. And probably a reachable warm hole that they can fuck.

This

Mexican guys are used to floors so clean you can eat off them, and top notch cooking three meals per day. Ryann is way too lazy to bag a Mexican.

desu.
Tess isn't "Mexican fat", "Mexican fat" still (with exceptions, of course) still tends to sit on the body in a way where you can tell that person is doing stuff. Maybe not a lot of stuff, but stuff.
Look at this lady, for example:

She's not thin, she's not a "curvy queen" like Tess, but she also doesn't need to steady herself on the counter, and her body is built solid.

Spoiler: Same for Gloria and Maria here

Tess is so damn proud of her "curves" but she can't do anything with them.

 

[Theladyinblack]

Freddy Mercury had unprotected sex and contracted AIDS.

That's what I mean, sex without condoms in orgias with strangers . A mess, a lack of self-respect. a pity that someone so talented self-destructed.

It stands to reason the Deathfats forum would pull a few HAES hypocrites into its orbit.

Dying "sad, weak and with a rotten foot" is way more likely to be the fate of the morbidly obese than people who spent a few years binge-drinking and hoovering drain cleaner off filthy club toilet seats, but if Karen-in-Black over here wants to grumble and point its sausage fingers at us (with a fork in the other hand), I'm happy to jeer and whistle until it lumbers off.

Hahaha wow that you are a drunkard is no reason to raise a flag to defend, nor to be a drug addict, nor obese nor to be an anorexic, etc. Did I defend obesity at some point? Nah, all that is unpleasant.

"sausage fingers" In your dreams.

 

[Uncle Ted]

Hahaha wow that you are a drunkard is no reason to raise a flag to defend, nor to be a drug addict, nor obese nor to be an anorexic, etc. Did I defend obesity at some point? Nah, all that is unpleasant.

"sausage fingers" In your dreams.

You're definitely a fatty.

 

[Theladyinblack]

You're definitely a fatty.

Why does it bother you that I don't agree with alcoholics? Really, there is nothing good about liquor. It is practically liquid sugar.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Why does it bother you that I don't agree with alcoholics? Really, there is nothing good about liquor. It is practically liquid sugar.

No one cares whether you're for or against something. We're only here to laugh at this whale carcass.

 

[Trombonista]

@Theladyinblack has been threadbanned for a week.

 

[multiverse]

Kiwi Girls, kiwi girls, calm down. You're all pretty. Unless you're fat. Fat people are gross.

Tess is still experimenting with becoming a mommy vlogger, since she can no longer attract sponsors or johns herself. The file size is almost as fat as Ryann, so let's hope it embeds.

Poor Bowie is so fucking desperate for her attention and praise. Of course, this was filmed BEFORE she left him again so he wouldn't cry.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Looking extra greasy here!

I hardly understand that kid.

 

[multiverse]

Looking extra greasy here!

I hardly understand that kid.

Yeah, his language skills are pretty far behind your average 5 year old; but he's mostly around illiterate LA bottom feeder adults so what can you expect.

 

[Owlflaps]

Kiwi Girls, kiwi girls, calm down. You're all pretty. Unless you're fat. Fat people are gross.

Tess is still experimenting with becoming a mommy vlogger, since she can no longer attract sponsors or johns herself. The file size is almost as fat as Ryann, so let's hope it embeds.

Poor Bowie is so fucking desperate for her attention and praise. Of course, this was filmed BEFORE she left him again so he wouldn't cry.
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Damn Tess, cut your son's hair. Don't make him follow in your sloppy footsteps.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

Tess only really tries to bond with Bowie when food is involved like in these taste test videos and with the snacks at Disney. It's so, so sad. I hope he can avoid turning into a fatty. He probably already associates shitty treats with "love" and attention. Yikes.

Edit: I watched the video, and Tess lets Bowie eat unwrapped chocolate from a complete stranger, lol. Mawm of the year!

 

[RainbowStarlight]

Damn Tess, cut your son's hair. Don't make him follow in your sloppy footsteps.

She basically said no can do to cutting his hair because he "screams when his hair is touched" or some shit. Idk, I've heard of kids screaming when they go into the bathtub, have to go to bed, have to put their toys away etc. Most parents who are all but shitty parents just deal with it instead of just throwing their hands up and saying "welp I tried."