Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

I know the topic of engagement rings was like five+ pages ago, but I saw someone recommend getting a white sapphire in place of a diamond for an engagement ring. As someone who is adjacent to the jeweler industry: do not use white sapphires! While they initially start off looking very pretty and remarkably similar to diamonds, they age like milk and turn yellowish and cloudy over the years due to their iron content. White topaz is a better alternative if you're really determined to avoid diamonds in a ring but you want the look of a diamond.

Not to sound like a diamond shill, but the reason why they tend to be preferred in rings is because they're just so fucking durable. A diamond could be literally as old as your grandmother and still look as good as the day that great grandpa bought it in '45, while other stones tend to degrade in quality over the years. They're pricier, but they last. However, there's a few good ways to get around expenses if money is your main objection to buying diamonds.

One is to buy vintage jewelry and get the stone reset. This is a cheaper and more customizable alternative to buying a ring outright from the store. (Or just buy a vintage ring and propose with that. Vintage styles are so pretty and need some love imo) Another is to purposefully look for diamonds with lower color quality and inclusions. They'll be less expensive and imo, flawed diamonds have more personality. Another is to buy small diamonds, so look for rings with flower, honeycomb, or cluster patterns. Or just buy the gems outright and get them set. This is because diamonds tend to be priced by weight, so tiny diamonds are actually relatively inexpensive. My jeweler friend has managed to get about a dozen or so little diamonds for less than $100, with each stone being somewhere between $6-$8 individually.

Edit: Here's a picture of a diamond ring (top) and a white sapphire ring (bottom) next to each other. They're both less than twenty years old, owned by the same woman, and look at the absolute state of the white sapphire compared to the diamond.

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Geez, that straitjacket... how embarrassing.... That is all I can say.

Reminds me of this picture I saw for a Halloween wedding where they named each table after a serial killer.

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Can we talk about Halloween weddings for a second? They are always so cringey. Especially those that make their guests dress up especially since not every guest likes to dress up like that. I don't like weddings with super specific dress codes or dress codes that are trying to be cute by coming up with some term like "rustic chic" or something and just come off as confusing. I mean, you can trust guests to know how to dress themselves right? As long as some woman doesn't show up in a wedding dress and tries to upstage you or on the flipside shoes up in jeans and a t-shit at a formal affair it should be fine.
Nothing says "romantic wedding" quite like the mugshots of murderous serial rapists, apparently. Jesus tapdancing Christ, that's gross. It's not even cringy at that point, it's just gross.
 
I know the topic of engagement rings was like five+ pages ago, but I saw someone recommend getting a white sapphire in place of a diamond for an engagement ring. As someone who is adjacent to the jeweler industry: do not use white sapphires! While they initially start off looking very pretty and remarkably similar to diamonds, they age like milk and turn yellowish and cloudy over the years due to their iron content. White topaz is a better alternative if you're really determined to avoid diamonds in a ring but you want the look of a diamond.
What is your opinion on Moissanite?

Also, a really hotly debated topic on Weddingbee is whether a cash fund or honeymoon fund is acceptable or not. A lot of them say no that is rude and you shouldn't ask for cash and shouldn't expect guests to pay for your honeymoon, while proponents say that it is a good alternative to a traditional registry items if you have lived together (or even on your own). I think usually the best way to go for registries is to find stuff to either upgrade or the really fancy state of the art cooking stuff especially if you are a really good cook. I know some people also say to put stuff on the registry like board games and video game consoles, but I will be honest and say that is pretty childish (I know on Jack Jr.'s registry he listed a Harry Potter chess set). Registries even have it so multiple people can pool together money on big ticket items which is pretty neat.

From my experience with honeymoon funds, it is set up like you are paying for experiences, but in reality, you are just getting cash and you can spend it however you want and "embezzle" it. Also, honeymoon funds also have like a 2% fee that they take from your gifts. I am honestly not a big fan and most of my guests weren't either and just gave cash with their cards which most guests do anyways especially since many feel it is fair to "pay for their meal" and whatnot even though it obviously isn't necessary.
 
The worst trend that happens with weddings lately is that when couples are trying to give each other gifts, most couples will give each other gifts without any thought as to what they want for them. As a general rule of thumb, the best gifts are those that require no effort on the part of the gifter. The worst gifts are those that require some amount of effort on the part of the gifter.
 
Another thing to mention about Catholic weddings is they usually require the people to get pre-marriage counseling in the form of Pre-Cana before the priest will even think about doing the wedding.

Mormons don't even have pre-marriage counseling at all even though they put a lot of importance on marriage and having it last forever which never made sense to me.
Filthy papist here, Catholic weddings are quite nice to attend, not quite so nice to plan. Pre-Cana (called "Fully Engaged" these days) is a series of interviews, classes, and retreats that test the bond you and your fiance have as well as educate the both of you about what being married is all about. They get into all of it, even down to the scripture chosen for your ceremony if taking place during Mass. Getting a priest to sign off on a marriage isn't as easy as it would seem, but if you're not an absolute scab of a Catholic (or other denomination for ecumenical (read: Dante Must Die Mode) marriages) and keep your nose clean you'll typically get a pass. Most churches will overtly deny any kind of payment, though a monetary gift is very much so appreciated (and perhaps expected depending on diocese). Alternatively, contributing towards your parish's food shelf or other charitable aspect is also highly encouraged.

Incidentially, if you ever want to make your spouse-to-be squirm during the ceremony, choose Ephesians 5:31 for one of your readings.
I did. Watching my wife turn beet red when it was read was funny as shit.

Edit:
What is your opinion on Moissanite?

One is to buy vintage jewelry and get the stone reset. This is a cheaper and more customizable alternative to buying a ring outright from the store. (Or just buy a vintage ring and propose with that. Vintage styles are so pretty and need some love imo) Another is to purposefully look for diamonds with lower color quality and inclusions. They'll be less expensive and imo, flawed diamonds have more personality. Another is to buy small diamonds, so look for rings with flower, honeycomb, or cluster patterns. Or just buy the gems outright and get them set. This is because diamonds tend to be priced by weight, so tiny diamonds are actually relatively inexpensive. My jeweler friend has managed to get about a dozen or so little diamonds for less than $100, with each stone being somewhere between $6-$8 individually.

Regarding diamonds and diamond accessories, moissanite (SiC) is a very acceptable diamond alternative. It's a very durable synthetic stone with low reactivity. Silicon carbide is commonly used in industry as high grade blast media owing to it's ease of bulk manufacture and extreme hardness (iirc about 9 on Moh's). It has a higher refractive index than diamond, so will be a flashier stone. It's a diamond alternative worth your time if you hate the diamond industry.

Smaller, more inperfect stones are readily had and cheap. Mrs. Skeltal's engagement ring is a 3pt VS2 white diamond set on a 14kt white gold band. It's kinda pathetic looking in terms of size but it was affordable for my (then) broke ass and made of genuine material. Her wedding band is a typical channel set piece; lower quality white diamonds helped offset that price as well.
Men's bands are simple, mine is a titanium piece worth about $100 retail. Tantalum, tungsten carbide, and engineering metals (steel, titanium, aluminium, etc.) rings are en vouge right now but don't be afraid to dicuss a gold band. Nothing wrong with the classics.
No gems beyond inlays though, shit just looks wrong on a dude's finger.
 
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Can we talk about bad bridal shower games? Infact, just bridal shower games in general are pretty cringey to me. Like, none of them are really fun to me except maybe bridal shower bingo where you write on the grid what you think the bride will get (with your own gift in the free space) and then if you get a bingo you get something, that was played at my shower and was actually alright.

Some of them I have heard include, "guess what the emoji's say" and it is a bunch of wedding terms and "who did it first/who is better?" where you have to guess whether it is the bride or groom. Also guessing Disney songs and which movie it is from. Stupid stuff like that.

Then there is some I heard about like making toilet paper dresses (which I could imagine look awful) which just seems like none of them would look even remotely good.
 
Can we talk about bad bridal shower games? Infact, just bridal shower games in general are pretty cringey to me. Like, none of them are really fun to me except maybe bridal shower bingo where you write on the grid what you think the bride will get (with your own gift in the free space) and then if you get a bingo you get something, that was played at my shower and was actually alright.

Some of them I have heard include, "guess what the emoji's say" and it is a bunch of wedding terms and "who did it first/who is better?" where you have to guess whether it is the bride or groom. Also guessing Disney songs and which movie it is from. Stupid stuff like that.

Then there is some I heard about like making toilet paper dresses (which I could imagine look awful) which just seems like none of them would look even remotely good.
I've only been to one bridal shower and it was thrown by the bride's narc mom, who singlehandedly made the experience a living hell.

At one point she wanted us to all "guess" the various gifts (I guess like the bingo game but without actually playing bingo) instead of just allowing her daughter to open the gifts and thank everyone. She also got pissy when not everyone wanted to "play" the game and would refuse to allow her daughter to open the gift until everyone had a say in what we thought the gift was. The experience was 2 hours of narc mom glaring holes into my head because I ended up being not only one of the first people to have to give my answer, but I was either correct or "wasn't taking it seriously enough" (a large box roughly the size of a vacuum is not a toaster and I'm not going to play stupid).
 
I've only been to one bridal shower and it was thrown by the bride's narc mom, who singlehandedly made the experience a living hell.

At one point she wanted us to all "guess" the various gifts (I guess like the bingo game but without actually playing bingo) instead of just allowing her daughter to open the gifts and thank everyone. She also got pissy when not everyone wanted to "play" the game and would refuse to allow her daughter to open the gift until everyone had a say in what we thought the gift was. The experience was 2 hours of narc mom glaring holes into my head because I ended up being not only one of the first people to have to give my answer, but I was either correct or "wasn't taking it seriously enough" (a large box roughly the size of a vacuum is not a toaster and I'm not going to play stupid).
Ah yes, the idiots who whine that you're not taking a party seriously enough. Almost a thread topic unto itself.
 
Another thing I thought about is what is the best and worst wedding favor you have received?

I have received a few over the years though probably the weirdest one was my first wedding ever which was a CD with all of the songs used in the wedding and the couple's favorite songs. It was weird because I wouldn't normally listen to any of these songs except for maybe one. I don't know what happened to the CD. Though probably my worst was a beer coozy with their names and wedding date on it. I like these people a lot, but not enough to want to use that regularly. Right now it is with all of the other bartending stuff just... there.

I admit, I never seen the point of wedding favors. I remember my wedding planner a month before asking me what my wedding favors were going to be and I was simply clueless because I never found them necessary since usually I was taught the gift to guests was the reception. I do think if you are, give them something edible, especially something local or something like soap. What I did at the wedding was box up the cake in case people want to have a slice for later (while keeping the top tier for our first anniversary, which, I might touch on that later) as well as letting guests have the flowers and the doilies I made for the centerpieces. It worked out and it wasn't like guests will complain "Hey, where are our favors?" Most people aren't going to complain about that. Honestly? Most of them were happy that there was an open bar.

Also, not something where they have to be responsible to take care of like a plant, like, I have seen the trend of succulents being popular as gifts and I am just like, first of all, if I am traveling, how am I supposed to travel with this as to not stress the plant out, two, if it is a succulent, my house is pretty dark and they need a lot of light, three you have to consider your animals that you have and whether or not they will eat them and if they are poisonous to them. Many people think of plants as expendable, but they really aren't, they are living things that you should try your best to keep them healthy and thriving. I mean, despite what vegans want you to believe, they can feel pain.
 
Another thing I thought about is what is the best and worst wedding favor you have received?

I have received a few over the years though probably the weirdest one was my first wedding ever which was a CD with all of the songs used in the wedding and the couple's favorite songs. It was weird because I wouldn't normally listen to any of these songs except for maybe one. I don't know what happened to the CD. Though probably my worst was a beer coozy with their names and wedding date on it. I like these people a lot, but not enough to want to use that regularly. Right now it is with all of the other bartending stuff just... there.

I admit, I never seen the point of wedding favors. I remember my wedding planner a month before asking me what my wedding favors were going to be and I was simply clueless because I never found them necessary since usually I was taught the gift to guests was the reception. I do think if you are, give them something edible, especially something local or something like soap. What I did at the wedding was box up the cake in case people want to have a slice for later (while keeping the top tier for our first anniversary, which, I might touch on that later) as well as letting guests have the flowers and the doilies I made for the centerpieces. It worked out and it wasn't like guests will complain "Hey, where are our favors?" Most people aren't going to complain about that. Honestly? Most of them were happy that there was an open bar.
As you said, the "wedding favor" is the open bar. I've been to a few (mostly family members) and I never once received a wedding favor. The spread and booze was enough for me, and was always enough for everyone else too. Hell, the reception's expensive, anyone whining about favors deserves a, in the words of Sean Connery, "Shmack in the mooth."
 
What is your opinion on Moissanite?
Filthy papist here, Catholic weddings are quite nice to attend, not quite so nice to plan. Pre-Cana (called "Fully Engaged" these days) is a series of interviews, classes, and retreats that test the bond you and your fiance have as well as educate the both of you about what being married is all about. They get into all of it, even down to the scripture chosen for your ceremony if taking place during Mass. Getting a priest to sign off on a marriage isn't as easy as it would seem, but if you're not an absolute scab of a Catholic (or other denomination for ecumenical (read: Dante Must Die Mode) marriages) and keep your nose clean you'll typically get a pass. Most churches will overtly deny any kind of payment, though a monetary gift is very much so appreciated (and perhaps expected depending on diocese). Alternatively, contributing towards your parish's food shelf or other charitable aspect is also highly encouraged.

Incidentially, if you ever want to make your spouse-to-be squirm during the ceremony, choose Ephesians 5:31 for one of your readings.
I did. Watching my wife turn beet red when it was read was funny as shit.

Edit:




Regarding diamonds and diamond accessories, moissanite (SiC) is a very acceptable diamond alternative. It's a very durable synthetic stone with low reactivity. Silicon carbide is commonly used in industry as high grade blast media owing to it's ease of bulk manufacture and extreme hardness (iirc about 9 on Moh's). It has a higher refractive index than diamond, so will be a flashier stone. It's a diamond alternative worth your time if you hate the diamond industry.

Smaller, more inperfect stones are readily had and cheap. Mrs. Skeltal's engagement ring is a 3pt VS2 white diamond set on a 14kt white gold band. It's kinda pathetic looking in terms of size but it was affordable for my (then) broke ass and made of genuine material. Her wedding band is a typical channel set piece; lower quality white diamonds helped offset that price as well.
Men's bands are simple, mine is a titanium piece worth about $100 retail. Tantalum, tungsten carbide, and engineering metals (steel, titanium, aluminium, etc.) rings are en vouge right now but don't be afraid to dicuss a gold band. Nothing wrong with the classics.
No gems beyond inlays though, shit just looks wrong on a dude's finger.
Pretty much this, especially the bit about it being very durable but more flashy. (Make sure to use it in a classier ring for this reason- its intense sparkliness combined with the wrong setting can make your ring look very gaudy) It's definitely a good option if you're absolutely determined to avoid diamonds, though.
 
For favors, we're doing local hand-made soaps and seed-bombs. Simple things that people will actually use, and will actually be good for the environment, instead of junk that will gather dust or go straight into the trash.

What are your thoughts on monograms? I find them outdated and cheesy (especially if there's only one monogram/one letter), but for some reason, they're still all the rage.
 
For favors, we're doing local hand-made soaps and seed-bombs. Simple things that people will actually use, and will actually be good for the environment, instead of junk that will gather dust or go straight into the trash.

What are your thoughts on monograms? I find them outdated and cheesy (especially if there's only one monogram/one letter), but for some reason, they're still all the rage.
Monograms reminds me of the decorative bathroom towels at my grandparents house.

The seedbomb idea is cute, depending on the plants they could assist sustain the bee and butterfly populations.
 
Here, have a wedding haiku I just made up on the fly:

Raise a glass to us
A toast for better and worse
Newlywed blessings​
Wedding favor time.
It's a plastic piece of crap.
Thank you open bar​
(Make sure to use it in a classier ring for this reason- its intense sparkliness combined with the wrong setting can make your ring look very gaudy)
Thoughts on this?
Capture.PNG

This is from the same shop, lol
Capture.PNG
 
What are your thoughts on monograms? I find them outdated and cheesy (especially if there's only one monogram/one letter), but for some reason, they're still all the rage.
If I marry my current boyfriend we could never do a monogram, our combined initials would basically spell out "cock". But even if it didn't I really don't want one anyways. As you said, they're pretty outdated and silly.
 
Wedding favor time.
It's a plastic piece of crap.
Thank you open bar​

Thoughts on this?
View attachment 2665928
This is from the same shop, lol
View attachment 2665933
First ring at a glance looks like a puzzle ring (it isn't). Personally I like puzzle rings and the stone isn't too big on the band. It just depends on how high the stone sits off the ring for me personally. It isn't that bad, kinda charming but I'd also have to see the ring at other angles.

2nd ring is ugly. And expensive.
 
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