DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Iron Hamster]

Phil is exactly the kind of guy I would expect to buy into pseudoscientific nonsense. Low intelligence + narcissism. He always wants to believe that he's found a secret way of doing things most people don't know about. It's what makes him feel special.

I'm kinda shocked he's not hocking Amway to be honest.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

In response to someone saying he should use a mute button instead of burping and snorting into the mic constantly

"MUH 13 YEAR LEGACY, MAYBE YOU'RE DA PROBLUM"

This mentality is why the only fans Phil has left are spineless autists
You just have to "put up with" all his flaws which is a fucking lot to ask for when there's thousands of other online gamers to turn to
It's no surprise he just has the weirdos who see him as a father figure

 

[capefear56]

This mentality is why the only fans Phil has left are spineless autists
You just have to "put up with" all his flaws which is a fucking lot to ask for when there's thousands of other online gamers to turn to
It's no surprise he just has the weirdos who see him as a father figure

What exactly does he have that could be worth putting up with the flaws to begin with? A loud voice that never shuts up?

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

This mentality is why the only fans Phil has left are spineless autists
You just have to "put up with" all his flaws which is a fucking lot to ask for when there's thousands of other online gamers to turn to
It's no surprise he just has the weirdos who see him as a father figure

And this is why his audience will slowly decline. Nothing about his stream entice any new viewers and he's not interested in doing anything to change/improve, he really is the ''I've tried nothing and are all out of ideas'' meme come to life.

Gifted memberships is not changing anything, that is just funneling whale tip money into another category. Being this whale dependent is really building on quicksand, he is one traffic accident/someone getting fired away from loosing a bunch of his regular income.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Now he's claiming that his dad passed down post nasal drip genetically to him. Thanks for passing on your detractor genes along with Phil's dyke aunt. Nothing he could do!

Let's recap the situation:

Gout - Aunt
Salvagno Thumb - Mom
Post-Nasal Drip - Dad
Did Nothing Wrong, Everything Correct - Phil

Am I missing anything?

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

What exactly does he have that could be worth putting up with the flaws to begin with? A loud voice that never shuts up?

His BRUTAL HONESTY dood! Phil tells it like it is, he's not like those OTHER gamers who are ALL industry shills!
But Phil haven't you taken numerous sponsorships in the past [Message deleted]

 

[capefear56]

Is it just me or is he really struggling with the Tetris-style gameplay in the Battle Bots minigame? Like when he goes to line up blocks to build, his brain is going into overdrive to mentally line up the optimal path for the blocks.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

What exactly does he have that could be worth putting up with the flaws to begin with? A loud voice that never shuts up?

Back in yesteryear, Phil wasn't a terrible choice to get playthroughs. He played the new AAA shit, like everybody else, in a timely manner and all the way through, like everybody else. In that market, most people still played on normal. The rug's kinda been pulled with most streamers choosing to play on Hardest nowadays, and to be fair, it's not like Normal would hold them back or provide any sort of challenge.

Out of the main gameplay guys Phil was also by far the fucking worst player, and a salty bitch, so his appeal wasn't as non-existant as it is today. Modern Phil has just removed himself from the market almost entirely. Want to see walking sims played by someone competent? MKIceAndFire's got your back, and he often gets early copies, destroying any need for Phil's product in an already oversaturated market. He also plays on PC and max graphical settings. Wanna watch salt factories? Weatherman and the like cover that niche, and actually play multi games, delivering a salt harvest that Phil denies his audience. Phil doesn't even play things he might be incompetent at any more, so there's no point in watching him for that, either. Every time he can, he just goes to games with no failstate. He still managed to kill off most of his House of Ashes squad, with only 2 survivors. It took him 14 hours to do a non-completionist run of a game where a completionist run takes 5 hours.

It's basically what Phil says. You're supposed to feel bad for him and give him money and get an emotional investment in him, but also not too much, because he's not your friend and he's never gonna be, and there's never gonna be anything more than a "Thank you" for your 300 dahller tip, and also you don't get to ask for a vest. So in short, the dentheads are a soft dad, and Phil's an ungrateful brat who keeps demanding more allowance in exchange for wearing the funny hat, and he also doesn't have to wear the funny hat if he doesn't feel like it.

In the end, it's just hardcore vetting, but it might be entirely unintentional. By doing this sort of shit, lengthening his already feature movie length prestream, aggressively begging, snorting and belching straight into the mic, Phil makes sure only the most dented of retards stick around. The sort of people who would give him money because they believe his lies. I would surmise that Phil knows his career is in the shitter and he'd never be able to be a regular streamer like Max Dood, but then he does shit like ultra clownmode and trying to riff on games with not a fucking hint of what could be funny, or his long almost scat fetish tirades of "toilet humor", which is SOMETHING to be fucking up, since it's a brand of humor ten year old kids can succesfully pull off... And it gets my noggin' joggin'. Maybe Phil trying to whitewash the fuck out of his streams and doing only things that he can't fail at are actually his attempt to hang up his bad boy gloves and go straight.

It's just he'll always want to have his cake and fuck it. He's the realest motherfucker on the internet, who tells it like it is, but also a good boy who will shill your game for you if you only give him the chance. He's an underdog, and a fighter who will never ever give up, but he's also a formerly partnered streamer with a 13 year begacy that has been running a succesful business. He's hated by the wider internet, but there's also a silent majority of enraptured fans who would do anything for him.

He'll never make it. There's just no magic Become Max Dood switch, no matter how hard he wants it, and he doesn't even want to put the work in. He might as well embrace the lolcow status, but his ego is too big to ever allow that.

 

[Stroke Face II Turbo]

"Kat has departed for work."

Is she on a special mission, Dave? WTF is this alien speak?

 

[NursezillaX]

"Someone who begs for a living should be spending money on eating out and drinking? Yes!"

View attachment 2670585

'You don't earn money, you know, and then it sits in a bank account. You spend it.'

Why is it not the least bit shocking that someone with his hilarious misunderstanding of the expression 'saving money for a rainy day' believes the above quote?

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

"Someone who begs for a living should be spending money on eating out and drinking? Yes!"

View attachment 2670585

The amount of time and effort to explain what is wrong with this minute and a half long rant is not worth my time as I watch college football. The amount of time needed to drill everything wrong with Phil's minute and a half rant into Phil's head so he understands it does not exist. With infinite time, you still could not teach Phil what is wrong with what he just said

 

[Balr0g]

'You don't earn money, you know, and then it sits in a bank account. You spend it.'

Why is it not the least bit shocking that someone with his hilarious misunderstanding of the expression 'saving money for a rainy day' believes the above quote?

Makes me wonder what he will do when his parents die and he inherits something from them (if he inherits something my guess is that Melissa will inherit the majority. I assume this because she seems to be a more caring child then Phil ever was). Imagine he inherits a good sum from his parents. The first thing would most likely be "It's WWE champions time!" Or does any of you think he actually has put aside some money in a trust or something similar for retirement? I bet he will stream until he one day keels over on stream

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

The amount of time and effort to explain what is wrong with this minute and a half long rant is not worth my time as I watch college football. The amount of time needed to drill everything wrong with Phil's minute and a half rant into Phil's head so he understands it does not exist. With infinite time, you still could not teach Phil what is wrong with what he just said

Amen. Not sure if anything changed aside from my frequent or infrequent watching of Phil lately, but every sentence that comes out of his mouth about something I scratch my head and hope a fellow kiwi can analyze it for me (like the $1500). I'm completely lost. Then you remember he's full of shit, and don't use logic.

He wants you to nod your head, blow smoke up his ass and donate money.

 

[Sup3r]

What exactly does he have that could be worth putting up with the flaws to begin with? A loud voice that never shuts up?

For the wheelchairs, he's like a kindred spirit. They're all that fucked up kind of special.

To anyone else: fuck all. Phil's problem is that he has no niche in the market. For salt, just look to his fellow lolcows like wings and ltg. For awful gaming takes, just look at the youtube comment section. For gameplay of certain game, go to any other streamer on youtube and twitch. For drama, I'd rather just watch the gnome himself: keemstar. Hell, if I wanted to watch a retar.. play a game, I wouldn't turn to a guy who'd deny it.

But it goes beyond that now. He is intentionally boring, to the point that most of his fans don't even watch him properly. The only reason he exists online is because maybe 3 dentheads keep him going due to their own hangups. Of course he'd never want to admit it, but has all but confirmed he knows that he is kept alive by said whales.

"Someone who begs for a living should be spending money on eating out and drinking? Yes!"

View attachment 2670585

Phil's fiscal responsibility is somehow worse than literal children. They know they need to save up to buy something expensive. They know that saving money is a good thing. Phil just sees money and just spends it just because.

He genuinely needs help.

 

[PieceofShet]

 

[Sup3r]

Makes me wonder what he will do when his parents die and he inherits something from them (if he inherits something my guess is that Melissa will inherit the majority. I assume this because she seems to be a more caring child then Phil ever was). Imagine he inherits a good sum from his parents. The first thing would most likely be "It's WWE champions time!" Or does any of you think he actually has put aside some money in a trust or something similar for retirement? I bet he will stream until he one day keels over on stream

He'll keep streaming till he drops dead. He wants that 300 a day fix. Any hope of retirement wouldn't last at the rate he spends his money. Besides, why not get the 300 a day from the whales and get a massive amount.

 

[Stroke Face II Turbo]

Hair Cope

 

[The Wicked Mitch]

Makes me wonder what he will do when his parents die and he inherits something from them (if he inherits something my guess is that Melissa will inherit the majority. I assume this because she seems to be a more caring child then Phil ever was). Imagine he inherits a good sum from his parents. The first thing would most likely be "It's WWE champions time!" Or does any of you think he actually has put aside some money in a trust or something similar for retirement? I bet he will stream until he one day keels over on stream

The Pig was asked yesterday if he would quit streaming for $1.5 million.

He said no, taxes take a third and he needs that consistent income. Which is true, given his absolutely crippling addictions. If Philliam got $1 million tax free he would be back to begging 6 days a week within 24 months.

 

[DarksydePhil's Tits]

Lost me at vegetarian. If she's scared to put a bit of steak in her mouth she can't handle what I've got. Was she a pussy when living with Phillip or did his stinky dick put her off meat for good?

I mean, she lives in Seattle.

When in Rome...

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Amen. Not sure if anything changed aside from my frequent or infrequent watching of Phil lately, but every sentence that comes out of his mouth about something I scratch my head and hope a fellow kiwi can analyze it for me (like the $1500). I'm completely lost. Then you remember he's full of shit, and don't use logic.

He wants you to nod your head, blow smoke up his ass and donate money.

Its not begging for money but if I dont get that money, then I will lose the house and I really need it. Also I can go out if I want cause its my money but I really need your money. And the bank documents aren't true but its also identity fraud because they hacked my bank account. And if you could donate that would be much appreciated