The Eternals - marvel is trying it again this time less humor and hit music and more unnecessary love triangles

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

This is part of it.

First, they greatly over valued how invested people were in the "universe" and not just "the avengers". People wisened up during Phase 3 when half of the shit they put out had very little meaningful bearing on Infinity War/Endgame.

Second, they haven't introduced any sort of "hook" nearly as powerful as "The Avengers Initiative" or Thanos and the Infinity Stones. Black Widow sets up a shitty Hawkeye Disney+ series, and Shang Chi just kind of sets up that the rings are magical?

It shows. Despite being “successful”, there are no plans for a Shang-Chi sequel. Even Black Panther and fucking Dune are getting sequels.

It does seem apparent that Marvel and Disney have no clue what to do with these characters after Endgame.

What is even going on with Blade? Mahershala Ali is nearing 50, an age in which none of the superheroes we see had reached when they started, and they haven’t even put the film in production yet.

They seem to just be throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks.

 

[Lowlife Adventures]

Someone pointed out that Kumail Nanjiani has a permanent Dreamworks face, and now that's all I can think of whenever I see him.

 

[Water-T]

This is the the most re/tarded history revision from Marvel since they had Doctor Doom shedding tears at the rubble of the Twin Towers.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

Someone pointed out that Kumail Nanjiani has a permanent Dreamworks face, and now that's all I can think of whenever I see him.

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That fucking smug smile combined with his overall dorky looks, trigger my bully instincts really hard.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave]

The funniest thing is, if they wanted to make The Eternals… better is too strong of a word, less shit, all they would’ve really had to do is switch it and “Falcon and the Winter Soldier”. FatWS had already established characters that people might give enough of a shit to pay to see, an easy plot hook (see Sam adjust to basically being hand picked to be the new Cap, totally not because he’s like the one Black guy left), and an inbred monkey could find a way to condense that shows plot into 90-120 minutes.

Meanwhile, making The Eternals into a D+ show would give them significantly more room to develop - how many of these chucklefucks are there, 8? fuck it - all of these new characters, maybe think up something better than just having shit CGI wolves that’ll probably have a Sky Beam somewhere, and more importantly would probably be less of a money pit - considering this one looks like the shills cheques have bounced, that last one might be the most important.

That or it’d go the way of that Inhumans Series everyone forgot about.

 

[Adamska]

Honestly?

They should've done a Nova Corps movie instead. You could actually have done something with Richard Ryder finding their ruins and gaining their power, trying to do what they used to do.

It's true that we're approaching bottom of the barrel in terms of what people are aware of, but there's still better picks than Eternals. Fuck's sake, even Alpha Flight or Excalibur would've been better.

I'd as a shit post suggest ROM, but his rights are fucked.

 

[Fluoxetine Man]

I'd as a shit post suggest ROM, but his rights are fucked.

ROM and Death's Head team up to take out every Intellectual Property lawyer in the universe.

 

[Oats12345]

It shows. Despite being “successful”, there are no plans for a Shang-Chi sequel. Even Black Panther and fucking Dune are getting sequels.

It does seem apparent that Marvel and Disney have no clue what to do with these characters after Endgame.

What is even going on with Blade? Mahershala Ali is nearing 50, an age in which none of the superheroes we see had reached when they started, and they haven’t even put the film in production yet.

They seem to just be throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks.

I remmber Vlack Panther sequel was announced before the first one even came out. That really says something about Shang-Chi!

 

[DeadwastePrime]

so, bad? yes? ok then.

 

[Gar For Archer]

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https://twitter.com/jonslongs/status/1454614978871402500?s=21

It's so blatantly transparent that this narrative is used as a legit marketing stunt, with this bitch and Kumail Nanjiani both saying shit like "lolol GUESS WE'RE PISSING OFF THE RIGHT PEOPLE!!!" when literally all the criticism comes from faggot "professional critics" who say "the representation was good but the movie fucking sucked".

They NEED people to be angry over muh representation, they don't know what the fuck to do when nobody gives a shit.

 

[Water-T]

It's so blatantly transparent that this narrative is used as a legit marketing stunt, with this bitch and Kumail Nanjiani both saying shit like "lolol GUESS WE'RE PISSING OFF THE RIGHT PEOPLE!!!" when literally all the criticism comes from faggot "professional critics" who say "the representation was good but the movie fucking sucked".

They NEED people to be angry over muh representation, they don't know what the fuck to do when nobody gives a shit.

It's obvious that Marvel saw this as another "Inhumans" mess, and tried to be clever by gender/race swapping much of the cast, making two of them a gay couple, and getting an Asian woman to direct.

Then when even the critics are calling it boring shit, the MCU stans and NPCs can play the diversity trap card, like so: YOU JUST HATE IT BECAUSE THERE ARE WOMEN AND POC AND QUEER CHARACTERS! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Kumail is desperately trying to defend this film because if it flops, he'll be forever known as the guy with the punchable face who got roided up only to end up in the ugly stepchild of the MCU.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

Honestly?

They should've done a Nova Corps movie instead. You could actually have done something with Richard Ryder finding their ruins and gaining their power, trying to do what they used to do.

It's true that we're approaching bottom of the barrel in terms of what people are aware of, but there's still better picks than Eternals. Fuck's sake, even Alpha Flight or Excalibur would've been better.

I'd as a shit post suggest ROM, but his rights are fucked.

Would he still be Dick Ryder or would they change his first name?

 

[Uranus Pink]

Honestly?

They should've done a Nova Corps movie instead. You could actually have done something with Richard Ryder finding their ruins and gaining their power, trying to do what they used to do.

Nova Corps should have been in Infinity War either on Nova Prime or elsewhere chasing a red herring Thanos suckered them into following.

It's true that we're approaching bottom of the barrel in terms of what people are aware of, but there's still better picks than Eternals. Fuck's sake, even Alpha Flight or Excalibur would've been better.

Both are no goes as Alpha Flight is heavily tied to Wolverine and Excalibur is spin off X-Men group. While there is the option of purging the mutants and association to them from the groups. But that like having Iron Man without Tony Stark, Captain America with Steve Rogers, Hulk with Bruce Banner and so on.

I'd as a shit post suggest ROM, but his rights are fucked.

Honestly with the state of the MCU and Disney right now, I am glad ROM and the Micronauts rights are out of Disney's hands. That way they remained unsullied by the Mouse.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

Does anyone know why they decided to make The Eternals in the first place? most of the rest of the films have been about fairly popular characters, even GOTG was launched after the 2008 comics did surprisingly well, basically being the only "new" title to sell consistently well during its time.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

https://twitter.com/wwarrior_1/status/1454829805103243274?s=21

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

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https://twitter.com/wwarrior_1/status/1454829805103243274?s=21

This is like in that fight scene in The Last Jedi when a Red Guard was attacking Rey and his left-handed blade suddenly disappeared.

 

[Gar For Archer]

Does anyone know why they decided to make The Eternals in the first place? most of the rest of the films have been about fairly popular characters, even GOTG was launched after the 2008 comics did surprisingly well, basically being the only "new" title to sell consistently well during its time.

Pretty sure the only reason this movie exists is to properly introduce Celestials into the MCU (they've been namedropped a few times in the past but haven't had anything more tham cameo appearances), likely to pave way for Galactus as the main villain of Phase 4.

 

[The Valeyard]

Does anyone know why they decided to make The Eternals in the first place? most of the rest of the films have been about fairly popular characters, even GOTG was launched after the 2008 comics did surprisingly well, basically being the only "new" title to sell consistently well during its time.

Eternals was a response to the (now cancelled) New Gods movie that DC had announced.

 

[Dr. Pasquale]

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https://twitter.com/wwarrior_1/status/1454829805103243274?s=21

Really see what they mean will have the most "natural" look. Angelina looking like her true self right there.

 

[UnKillFill]

Pretty sure the only reason this movie exists is to properly introduce Celestials into the MCU (they've been namedropped a few times in the past but haven't had anything more tham cameo appearances), likely to pave way for Galactus as the main villain of Phase 4.

Do you really need the Celestials for Galactus? He was introduced more than a decade earlier than they were in the comics, and now the MCU is saddled with fuck it, I didn't count them.about a dozen(?) new characters that literally nobody gives a shit about.