Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,390
Jack lives in one of the richest areas of Tennessee, in both culture and monetary value, yet he is so close minded that he goes out of state or to chain restaurants to eat things.

Edit: He lives about 30min away from a mall that has goddamn Maseratis as display cars. The malls near my hometown would show off Ford Focus'. Fuck these people have some money.

Double Edit: There is a 'Request Prayer' button on the website and some of ya'll need Jesus, so don't be surprised if you get shoutouts next weekend.
How high is the chance that our beloved one armed bandit never even set foot into the Grand Ole Opry, The Ryman Auditorium, The Country Music Hall Of Fame or the Johnny Cash Museum? Does that fat fuck even know anything about the Tennesse food culture outside of junk food?
He surely never has seen the inside of the Nashville Farmers' Market, that's for sure.
 
Jack lives in one of the richest areas of Tennessee, in both culture and monetary value, yet he is so close minded that he goes out of state or to chain restaurants to eat things.

Edit: He lives about 30min away from a mall that has goddamn Maseratis as display cars. The malls near my hometown would show off Ford Focus'. Fuck these people have some money.

Double Edit: There is a 'Request Prayer' button on the website and some of ya'll need Jesus, so don't be surprised if you get shoutouts next weekend.

is that the Opry Mills Mall? He got super pissed at Regal Theatres for changing his movie ticket to that mall instead of the one right by his house. So weird how he'll drive hours for specific restaurants but won't go an extra 20 min to a movie theater in a new, nicer place.
 
How high is the chance that our beloved one armed bandit never even set foot into the Grand Ole Opry, The Ryman Auditorium, The Country Music Hall Of Fame or the Johnny Cash Museum? Does that fat fuck even know anything about the Tennesse food culture outside of junk food?
He surely never has seen the inside of the Nashville Farmers' Market, that's for sure.
all he knows how to do is to gurgle "nashville chicken warssss" while eating exclusively chicken from burger king or whatever. it's weird how unable to absorb any culture he is, all he wants to do is look at colorful advertisements on TV and buy the things he sees in them. i can't actually imagine him researching local restaurants in any way
 
How high is the chance that our beloved one armed bandit never even set foot into the Grand Ole Opry, The Ryman Auditorium, The Country Music Hall Of Fame or the Johnny Cash Museum? Does that fat fuck even know anything about the Tennesse food culture outside of junk food?
He surely never has seen the inside of the Nashville Farmers' Market, that's for sure.
Unless he can get some Nashville Hot Chicken in those places he's not going to bother to go to them. He lacks any kind of real adventurous spirit when it comes to his destination or his food.

He's not into culture. He's not into history. He's just interested in food. Preferably large slabs of meat.
 
is that the Opry Mills Mall? He got super pissed at Regal Theatres for changing his movie ticket to that mall instead of the one right by his house. So weird how he'll drive hours for specific restaurants but won't go an extra 20 min to a movie theater in a new, nicer place.
Nope, it was Green Hills Mall, it's a little bit further than Opry Mills, but if you ABSOLUTELY need something from Gucci or Louis, 30 minutes is nothing. Something interesting of note, one of the best Vietnamese restaurants is located nearby, Miss Saigon, of which Jack has yet to try in his years living in Nashville.
 
How high is the chance that our beloved one armed bandit never even set foot into the Grand Ole Opry, The Ryman Auditorium, The Country Music Hall Of Fame or the Johnny Cash Museum?
3/4 of those are dangerously close to the big NASHVILLE on a zoomed-in Google Map so I think we know the answer to that and why he avoids them.

Johnny Cash would despise Jack and his brand of Christianity as well.
 
dadbod.jpg
He's almost doing the splits. He looks so stupid trying to look tough. Nice spongebob shirt.
 
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So … 1st stop on Jagoff’s Carolina BBQ WARS starts only the 2nd hour into what’s likely a 96 hour odyssey, still 90 min away from even leaving Tennessee. It’s a good but not great chain bbq place (with visibly filthy menus) for an immediate lunch feast.
Scanning the menu he gets to the salad options (4:25) and decides they “got stuff on em we can’t have.” That’s rich. Like there was ANY chance he’d just get a big salad for lunch.
This disingenuous fat sack of garbage then immediately orders that enormous tray of food, easily enough for three people. Meats, beans and coleslaw. Couple minutes later it’s made obvious he also ordered for himself a big ol’ scoop each of mac & cheese plus mashed potatoes, by Sanford. This guy is such a liar

The couple that’s with them both seem like good people. My theory is they’re brand new to the MegaMurderChurch and accepted an invite to this thing, blind. 96 hours of Hell that they got their first taste of in only hour two. God help them. Plus, his name is Robert (eventually), but what’s her name?? This rude jerk films her a good bit with *zero* introduction. Seems like he forgot her name and just went with it. I hate this son of a bitch and so will they …
 
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So … 1st stop on Jagoff’s Carolina BBQ WARS starts only the 2nd hour into what’s likely a 96 hour odyssey, still 90 min away from even leaving Tennessee. It’s a good but not great chain bbq place (with visibly filthy menus) for an immediate lunch feast.
Scanning the menu he gets to the salad options (4:25) and decides they “got stuff on em we can’t have.” That’s rich. Like there was ANY chance he’d just get a big salad for lunch.
This disingenuous fat sack of garbage then immediately orders that enormous tray of food, easily enough for three people. Meats, beans and coleslaw. Couple minutes later it’s made obvious he also ordered for himself a big ol’ scoop each of mac & cheese plus mashed potatoes, by Sanford. This guy is such a liar

The couple that’s with them both seem like good people. My theory is they’re brand new to the MegaMurderChurch and accepted an invite to this thing, blind. 96 hours of Hell that they got their first taste of in only hour two. God help them. Plus, his name is Robert (eventually), but what’s her name?? This rude jerk films her a good bit with *zero* introduction. Seems like he forgot her name and just went with it. I hate this son of a bitch and so will they …
Goddamn Jack manages to be a repulsive bag of lard. That fucking double-neck gives me nightmares, just look how his necklace sinks in there.
 
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He's almost doing the splits. He looks so stupid trying to look tough. Nice spongebob shirt.
Again, we avoid this pose because it only shows off your arms (as opposed to your hands on your waist, which shows off arms AND chest), and in the case of the second high schooler that Jr is trying to fuck, it makes you look like the room is freezing. Jr's pose also makes it look like he's wearing tights.
 
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He's almost doing the splits. He looks so stupid trying to look tough. Nice spongebob shirt.
Nice vanity muscles, Dad Bod. Also it's hilarious the fact with him being the shortest here makes him the manlet in the photo. No, Dad Bod, standing in that stance doesn't automatically make you "hetero" like your bros.
 
View attachment 2676372
He's almost doing the splits. He looks so stupid trying to look tough. Nice spongebob shirt.
this is literally him, minus the back muscles

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Nice vanity muscles, Dad Bod. Also it's hilarious the fact with him being the shortest here makes him the manlet in the photo. No, Dad Bod, standing in that stance doesn't automatically make you "hetero" like your bros.
based off the videos, it doesn't seem like he's much taller than jack who is 5'5. so cali is probably 5'7 or 5'8 at most
 
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