The Eternals - marvel is trying it again this time less humor and hit music and more unnecessary love triangles

But nope. Kang is saved for a stinger in the fucking Loki TV show and apparently is the villain for an Ant Man movie...
Kang is being wasted on an Ant-Man flick. Use a lesser character as the villain for that one, like Goliath (the Masters of Evil one, not the black one Clor killed). Save Kang as the baddie for Avengers 5.

The guy in Loki was and wasn't Kang - due to all the timey-wimey BS Kang has been doing, there are various versions of him in different dimensions and timelines. Sometimes they even develop into their own characters like Rama Tut, Scarlett Centurion, and Immortus. The one at the end of Loki is He Who Remains, who keeps watch on the end of time.
 
The guy in Loki was and wasn't Kang - due to all the timey-wimey BS Kang has been doing, there are various versions of him in different dimensions and timelines. Sometimes they even develop into their own characters like Rama Tut, Scarlett Centurion, and Immortus. The one at the end of Loki is He Who Remains, who keeps watch on the end of time.

Didn't watch Loki so I was just going on what people told me.

Either way, Kang is absolutely wasted in Ant Man. Kang fucking debuted in Avengers #8 FFS.
 
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lol wtf? There's an honest-to-god black villain named Kang?

How are there not a thousand think pieces about that?
If they made him black that's their fucking fault.

Kang the Conqueror is Reed Richard's distant descendant from the 31st century named Nathaniel. He decides fucking with space time and becoming a dictator on a post apocalyptic Earth of the 41st century was a good usage of his time after he tried similar schemes to play with the past both before and after this stage. Rama Tut, Immortus and Centurion were what happens when you play with space time bullshit too much.

Like sure, he could be black given he's from the 31st century, but he wasn't initially. That's on the brainlets in casting if they did that as a shitpost.

And yes, Kang is a far better pick for the Avengers, or hell the Fantastic Four if you don't want to use Doctor Doom immediately and don't use Annihilus instead.
 
I think I said it in threads about Eternals on Articles and News, but it's baffling how clueless Disney/Marvel has been since Endgame ended, and it ultimately feels like they put way too much stock into people being invested in the "universe" and not simply "The Avengers".

It's becoming evident that people were more invested in Iron Man/Cap/Thor than they were in the MCU as a whole. And why wouldn't they be? Phase 1 and 2 were very much Cap/Iron Man/Thor centric. Yeah you had Incredible Hulk, but that was before the MCU *really* took off and was still core "Avengers". So the only real deviation was GOTG and the film managed to be fun on it's own merit.

But Phase 3 comes around, and it's over loaded with absolutely trivial shit. I guarantee you, most normies watched Ant-Man, Doctor Strange and Captain Marvel purely to "understand" everything for Avengers: Infinity War. And after watching Infinity War and Endgame, you end up realizing that you didn't really need to watch them to understand anything in Infinity War.

So now we are at a point where the main Avengers storyline is over. What do they give everyone?

- A film about a dead character nearly a decade too late that's only there to establish a new character for a fucking TV show.
- A film about a nobody martial artist trying to ape off an abandoned plotline from the first Iron Man.
- A film about a team of nobodies that almost nobody gives a shit about, and the film turns out to be fucking boring and mediocre on top of it.
(oh and a bunch of TV shows I guess)

What the fuck are they setting up here? Like you said, there's no hook like "The Avengers Initiative" or Thanos smiling menacingly. Imagine if Endgame, a film all about time travel shenanigan's, had an after credits scene that just says "the 31st century" and you see a menacing Kang the Conqueror being alerted to time travel shit going on and hones in on "Earth, 21st century" and smiles menacingly.

But nope. Kang is saved for a stinger in the fucking Loki TV show and apparently is the villain for an Ant Man movie...

It's like Disney had the genius idea they had with Star Wars. "It just prints money! It's not like they can't watch it!"
Phase Three has also done a lot of trying to downplay/shit on the originals to make the new ones seem better, which is obviously gonna piss fans of the old off and make them dislike the new ones in principle.
 
the Fantastic Four if you don't want to use Doctor Doom immediately and don't use Annihilus instead.
If Marvel does another FF film, I hope they use ANYONE other than Doom. He's as overused as a FF villain like Lex and Zod for the Superman films. Annihillus, Psycho Man, Blaastar, The Wizard and the Frightful Four, Mole Man....there are so many other bad guys to use.
 
So Deviants and Eternals are aliens now? I thought the Celestial space gods made them on earth. The Gaiman book was interesting, and Ribic's art carried the last arc. The idea that eternals, upon recreation, take away the life-force from a person could be intriguing.
 
Kang the Conqueror is Reed Richard's distant descendant from the 31st century named Nathaniel.

Man, the MCU could have even done that thing they love to do where they change it so that he's Tony's descendant instead.

It would even play into the fact that Tony didn't want to "alter the past" with their time travel shenanigans so that his daughter wouldn't be popped out of existence. Although at that point it might be getting too timey wimey for the popcorn guzzling normies.
 
consoom.jpg
 
okay so im watching it in 480p kino dogme vision..aka flashy graphic removed and youre just left with base plot/movie building.

1. 'interesting' opening. emotionless beings with a themed power being sent to earth right as these alien creatures start attacking a human tribe.

2. cut to present day asian eternal has human bf are both professors. there is a earthquake and the female eternal uses her powers to turn falling objects to dust saving children.

3. love interest eternal have weird series-based relationship discussion. (they mention dr strange *Soyjack*)

4. creature attacks on a 2 eternal 1 human date with another eternal showing up to help because for some reason the midget ginger and asian eternal aren't combat capable?

5. useless relationship convo with the fighting eternal saying 'we need to be careful cause of aliens' Lets unite.

6. elsewhere in time the combat based eternals are fighting aliens in Babylon

7. leader called Ajax can talk to their creator named Arishem. Ajax likes humans...Arishem says focus on mission

8. they show how the smart guy makes inventions for humans to progress. Steam engine? no they cant handle that. The plows okay. (omg joke right? its funny!)

9. humans are shown bonding with eternals

10. back to modern day asian eternal gets the ability to talk to arishem after walking in on a dead ajax. arishem alludes to further plot. ajax was killed by a 'deviant'.

11. flashback to old civilization falling apart. eternals kill deviants and watch countries fight eachother. angelina jolie interferes before being stopped by ajax. uncontrollable ajax wants to erase jolie's memory. other eternals are upset and questioning things.

12. deviants dead. morale down. eternals break up to be pretend people.

13. back to modern day. each eternal finds their race home.

14. indian eternal is making a movie about themselves.

15. Marvel movie talk with Arishem. Celestial Tiamat uses human intelligence to grow strong inside earth and then is born destroying earth. Arishem explains marvel universe and the eternals existence.

16. eternal human backstory/fight scene/gay kiss with the trailer song. fat asian dies.

17. they unite and get their ship. the ship was used as an egyptian temple thing with one of the eternals staying there to read the whole time.

18. eternals team plan scene their future cause fuck the celestial cycle bs

19. ajax was alive then icarus decided to kill her basically.

20. tiamat stuff starts with icarus going rogue against the team. divides eternals pro celestial anti celestial

21. anti celestials link up and go against pro celestials.

22. super powered deviant shows up with powers of other eternals..sort of stops fighting sort of doesnt matter

23. this whole time the ginger doesnt do anything. they stop the celestial. icarus leaves earth flying into the sun cause he feels bad. now there is part of a celestial sticking out of the earth's crust.

basically its another capeshit movie and i'd argue it isn't actually better or worse than any of the other capeshit movies.
 
I know it doesn't need to be said but I'm going to say it anyways.

Holy shit, what a faggot.
Just Cinema Blob being Cinema Blob. He'll suck Marvel's dick without question, all while trying to convince everyone that he's read Cahiers Du Cinema.

The closest Blob ever came to watching a Wim Wenders film is seeing City Of Angels, the Nic Cage remake of Wings of Desire.
 
It's not going to make a profit
It's the Justice League of spy movies. Who would have thunk that repeatedly reshooting and delaying a shitty movie then spending the same amount on a massive ad campaign would eat into the profits? Maybe it's just me, but if your movie needs to make close to a billion dollars to be profitable then maybe you need to look into trimming shit down. Dude literally drives a car and shoots some people. How in fuck did that cost so much?
 
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