- Joined
- May 5, 2020
Despite the number of times it has been pointed out here (which he has read), his brain still can't comprehend that his honesty about how he prefers to live his life (in this case by making it known that he doesn't ever want to cook) fucks up his grift. Not just by calling his pleas of poverty into question, but unintentionally misleading the audience into thinking he's starving when he never meant to come across that way. He may be dumb, but he still clearly knows that going too far in his narrative is a bad idea, so he constantly waffles between the sky falling and him being perfectly fine.
Doesn't help that it's all fake, and whether he's fine or not (financially or emotionally) isn't something we're ever supposed to know the truth of. Nor does it help that Phil doesn't plan this out very well either, he lives his life one emotional moment to the next.
His bigger problems are that he never has the money set aside and doesn't want to pay that money to begin with. Even without a mobile gaming addiction sucking him dry, he's not about to save up for tax season because it pains him too much to acknowledge that he's not allowed to just give his responsibilities the finger constantly. Would not surprise me to one day learn that he has been behind on his mortgage payments for the Wakhando more than once because he didn't want to cut into his funds for other things. The only reason he pays it at all is because of how much we'll cheer at him losing his big boy place.
Phil always goes after the "Get everything I want and nothing I don't" option, which by itself wouldn't be so bad if he didn't hate so many things that normal people handle just fine, like being a clown, applying oneself, or accepting ones responsibilities. Whether it makes sense to expect it or not, Phil insists on a fantasy situation wherein he gets showered in tips without having to do anything he doesn't want to do.
Doesn't help that he already hates playing video games for a living, so by default, he already thinks he's being punished enough. Asking him to be the court jester on top of that is way beyond his tolerance levels.
He loves feeling special, but more than that, he isn't coming from this as an adult, because he isn't one. Never forget that over a decade ago, he mentioned his realization that he owed over a grand per month to live in his first condo, and that condo proceeded to be an anchor around his neck until very recently, solely because he's a little boy in a big fat grumpy old man's body. He said it made him shit his pants a little bit, well, he's still that stupid kid who is woefully unprepared for life in the real world. It's okay to be intimidated by things you're not used to, but Phil has no excuse for being the same scared child after all these years.
I can forgive Young Phil for not having been taught a lot of things, but he proceeded to stay like that. He chose to never educate himself on stuff he didn't understand, and on top of that he has the nerve to bitch about the ways in which it has cost him, and act like he didn't bring it on himself. I used to wonder why he didn't seem to resent his upbringing, and I've realized that he actually liked it when others had the responsibility of making sure he knew what to do. The only reason he left home at all is because he wanted the freedom, more than he wanted to keep that lack of accountability, only to find that his life would still suck because he wants both.
