Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

[PuffyGroundCloud]

The only thing I know about self marriage is when Carrie married herself because she lost her expensive shoes

 

[Fialovy]

The only thing I know about self marriage is when Carrie married herself because she lost her expensive shoes

Oh yeah! Thing is, that was a TV show and supposed to be a joke, this person is dead serious.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

Good news! I did remember another good thread about someone who wanted to do a "self marriage ceremony" in front of her family where she basically married herself and she would wear a dress, have a party, have a registry, and go on a honeymoon and everyone. It was the most bizarre thing.

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How do you feel about "self marriage ceremonies"? I find them a bit pointless and attention-seeking.

That's a pretty extreme and unhealthy way to cope with inceldom and use it to seek attention and luxurious leisure activities. Above that, it sounds very much like she's using it as an excuse to try to make people feel obligated to give her free shit.

 

[DoorPost101]

Good news! I did remember another good thread about someone who wanted to do a "self marriage ceremony" in front of her family where she basically married herself and she would wear a dress, have a party, have a registry, and go on a honeymoon and everyone. It was the most bizarre thing.

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How do you feel about "self marriage ceremonies"? I find them a bit pointless and attention-seeking.

She should just get a tatoo like a normal person would.

 

[NoReturn]

Good news! I did remember another good thread about someone who wanted to do a "self marriage ceremony" in front of her family where she basically married herself and she would wear a dress, have a party, have a registry, and go on a honeymoon and everyone. It was the most bizarre thing.

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How do you feel about "self marriage ceremonies"? I find them a bit pointless and attention-seeking.

This gets a bit tangential, but there's this new show on Netflix called Inside Job and I absolutely love it. I bring it up because the 6th episode is actually focused on the main character's mom marrying herself.

Spoiler: Addendum

Something I love about the show in general is that everything in it is "real". Unlike shows like Rick and Morty, none of it is just pulled out of the writers' "lolsorandom" asses. The concept of self-marriage is a perfect example. Even the background gags are based on actual conspiracy theories (some of which are hella old, too).
I know this because it is my autistic special interest.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

another one had Wii Bowling hooked up to a projector and you had to get a strike to get the couple to kiss

What the actual fuck, that sounds worse than the spergy themed weddings. At least those tismfests still focus on the couple instead of having fucking vidya to distract people from the event.

Why do the people hired professionally that do this shit for a living never seem capable of figuring out how to use their own audio equipment?

Because just because you hire someone in a professional manner doesn't mean they're actually professionals. Among entertainers, weddings are often considered low end gigs for hacks, akin to performing at strips malls or on boats. A lot of those guys have never headlined and have only ever performed as background noise, so they never had an incentive to step their game up.

My cousin hired a band for her wedding but the crucial thing is that she was close friends with the members. They spent the whole evening as regular guests until it was their time to play, and because they'd been mingling with all the other guests, people on both ends had a reason to give a shit about the performance.

 

[yasscat]

So now that rice, bubbles, birdseed and fat vape clouds have been recently mentioned, I'm left wondering about what kinds of weird, stupid shit people have sent airborne at the newlywed couples on their departures.

I'm glad that things aside from rice are being used, because I care about the various little critters scurrying and flying about not dying horribly.
The other awful one I'm familiar with is so very horrible in its own way; GLITTER! And I'm not talking about those oversized ones that are basically sequins. Imagine getting that shit in your eyes, embedded into your skin, sifted into your hair, never coming out of your clothes, getting onto fucking everything in your car and at home, on your pets... To the pits of hell with that shit.
Bubbles also aren't the best alternative IMO because of how often the simple process has a malfunction. I'm also not too keen on being accidentally sprayed with sputtered spittle. It's not horrible, just kind of unreliable.
I prefer the birdseed, personally. Just make sure you get the kind that doesn't have sunflower seeds, because they might be a bit much.

What I've seen some people doing (and what future Mr. Yass and I are going to do) is ribbon wands. Instead of tossing/throwing things, or bubbles, we're gonna have ribbon wands (with bells) for guests to wave as we make our exit.

 

[Fialovy]

Found another good Weddingbee post about a woman who I assume is named Heather took her engagement ring which was already really ugly and raised the center stone and made it uglier and when people gave her criticism, she got really pissy and said she would have her dad take care of the haters.

Before:

After:


Response to criticism that wasn't deleted by the jannies:

 

[Coolio55]

Since someone mentioned awful DJs, here is one I found

For the first few seconds of this I was on the edge of my seat because I thought they accidentally played the good version of that one black eyed peas song.

 

[derpi]

After:
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History will always repeat itself

Spoiler

 

[Fialovy]

Speaking on Rings, found another post on Weddingbee about how some dumb bitch put her ring in the oven thinking it will come out sparklier. Seriously? Who bakes their rings? I have never heard of such a thing! How can you be this demented?

 

[Yeeted Teet]

Good news! I did remember another good thread about someone who wanted to do a "self marriage ceremony" in front of her family where she basically married herself and she would wear a dress, have a party, have a registry, and go on a honeymoon and everyone. It was the most bizarre thing.

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How do you feel about "self marriage ceremonies"? I find them a bit pointless and attention-seeking.

If you want to get dressed up and make your friends and family buy you presents, throwing an extravagant birthday party for yourself is much less cringey.

 

[Turtle O'Carolan]

Speaking on Rings, found another post on Weddingbee about how some dumb bitch put her ring in the oven thinking it will come out sparklier. Seriously? Who bakes their rings? I have never heard of such a thing! How can you be this demented?

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Okay, so my initial thought was "maybe the oven burns off dust & stuff to make the stone look cleaner" but my semi-ept searching revealed this is used for cubic zirconium (sort of skimmed over that part in the post) and maybe it changes the crystal structure or something IDK.

The interesting part (to me) was the change in the metal.

I am in no way a jeweler or a chemist or metallurgist so I may be talking out my asshole, but the color change the woman described sort of makes it sound like her ring wasn't 'traditional' rose gold (gold-silver-copper or just gold-copper) but spangold (alloy of gold-copper-aluminum) that has a faceted surface after heat treatment. Couldn't find out how hot the heat treatment was, or if a regular oven could cause this; the article just mentions the spangling effect as having potential jewelry applications.

Sucks to be her but otherwise...neat?

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

Should've invest in ultrasonic cleaner

 

[Fialovy]

Here is another memorable Weddingbee post I found. This woman married a guy that she met at church. She waited until marriage to have sex and live together with him then on the honeymoon she finds diapers in his bag and finds out that her husband wears and shits in diapers. His reason he gives her is that he has always had a problem where he is unable to poop in the toilet, but IMHO I think he has a diaper fetish and is using it for an excuse because what sane parent would let their kid do that? Anyways, she naturally freaked out like any sane person would.

 

[yasscat]

Here is another memorable Weddingbee post I found. This woman married a guy that she met at church. She waited until marriage to have sex and live together with him then on the honeymoon she finds diapers in his bag and finds out that her husband wears and shits in diapers. His reason he gives her is that he has always had a problem where he is unable to poop in the toilet, but IMHO I think he has a diaper fetish and is using it for an excuse because what sane parent would let their kid do that? Anyways, she naturally freaked out like any sane person would.

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This is why you should live with your fiance(e) before you get married.

 

[Fialovy]

This is why you should live with your fiance(e) before you get married.

This, plus you should at least have an honest discussion about sex and if you can't be honest about your fetishes to your future spouse you shouldn't be married. I guess he was afraid he was going to lose her, but honestly, if you are that much of a degenerate that can't live without shitting in diapers, then you should accept that most people will be repulsed by that and either quit being a degenerate or find someone equally degenerate (which I guess would be kind of difficult since he is Christian)

 

[EnemyStand]

Here is another memorable Weddingbee post I found. This woman married a guy that she met at church. She waited until marriage to have sex and live together with him then on the honeymoon she finds diapers in his bag and finds out that her husband wears and shits in diapers. His reason he gives her is that he has always had a problem where he is unable to poop in the toilet, but IMHO I think he has a diaper fetish and is using it for an excuse because what sane parent would let their kid do that? Anyways, she naturally freaked out like any sane person would.

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Bitch, listen this isn't normal. The dude doesn't have IBS, he has a fetish. He's scared you're going to leave him if he tells the truth. You draw a HARD fucking line here. You tell him: poop in the toilet like a real man or you're going to leave. Then do it. File for divorce. Listen, I say this as a God fearing Catholic: your husband is a degenerate of the worst order, and you must have him break this habit for your peace of mind and for his own good. You already feel guilty for no reason, and you're not the one with the problem. Oh, hai emotional abuse. And it'll only get worse. Dude already lies all the fucking time while he hides the fact he shits in a diaper.

Anyway, for the rest of you on this thread, I agree with @Fialovy 's assessment. Have a frank discussion about your fetishes before the engagement. You don't need to fuck or live together, but if someone says they have no fetishes they're lying. They're into some really sick shit and they're hiding it. If they don't come clean, break up with them. And if they do talk about it and it's too sick for you, leave. Period.

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

divorcing a diaperfag is not a sin

 

[EnemyStand]

divorcing a diaperfag is not a sin

And even if it is that's what Confession's for.