DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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He really liked the idea of his ass being stretched out.
This fixation on anal sex, shitty dicks, and fecal matter in general is a part of why I still optimistically subscribe to the Closet Queen Phil theory. Comes so natural to him as well. I'd imagine you could get shit on your dick from cornholing some dude, but Phil seems so familiar with what the whole process entails. Shitty dicks, asses getting stretched out, pushing back... Not even porn featuring anal is so descriptive.

Not to mention his lack of interest in women and admiration for muscular men who always happen to be "sir".
 
This fixation on anal sex, shitty dicks, and fecal matter in general is a part of why I still optimistically subscribe to the Closet Queen Phil theory. Comes so natural to him as well. I'd imagine you could get shit on your dick from cornholing some dude, but Phil seems so familiar with what the whole process entails. Shitty dicks, asses getting stretched out, pushing back... Not even porn featuring anal is so descriptive.

Not to mention his lack of interest in women and admiration for muscular men who always happen to be "sir".
Or it could be his sense of humor actively regressing to 9 year old level. I lean more in the ED theory, specially because of his tard rage at any game featuring the slight mention of sex, probably because he gets reminded of his condition by the scenes.
 
Or it could be his sense of humor actively regressing to 9 year old level. I lean more in the ED theory, specially because of his tard rage at any game featuring the slight mention of sex, probably because he gets reminded of his condition by the scenes.
I'm split right down the middle (like his ass cheeks) on both of these theories. Sometimes I think I'm more biased towards what I'd like to believe so it's funnier:

1) Closet Fill is some of the funniest shit I can think of, his love for Rambo and the salty ex midnight texts make sense too (from back in the day), but, from my experience with closeted people, they overcompensate (one dude I knew for a fact was homosexual was telling me how much he wants to have sex with Nicki Minaj), while Fill seems to be put off by sexualized females in video games in general.

It could be suppressed homosexuality, him hating how he is and faking being straight. He has a wife after all, how can he be gay if he has a wife!? That's something an immature shithead would think...

2) Shitty humor Fill is more probable, but less fun. Yes, he's pretty much objectively not a funny guy, humor is a sense and requires wit, so if you lack both of them you can just talk about poopy peenus, followed by ackackack.

But it is a pattern of him talking about metaphorically getting fucked in the ass, his ass getting stretched, getting fucked in all his holes, getting fucked from all directions, sometimes even by kids (yikes), enough to make you think about whether there's some homosexual activity going on in what's left of Fill's brain.

The other theory, which relates more to why he's so repulsed by vidya tiddies, is that his real life waifu Kitty Khet is known to be (info by Jeff Subaru) very jealous and protective of her man, the faces of pure hatred she'd make when someone talked about Panda in chat during their vlahgs makes me think that's true.

So maybe Fill is just hamming up his dislike of vidya tiddies to make Khet happy and so she doesn't whine.

Don't forget, Panda was a fan, Khet is a fan, why wouldn't the next waifu be a fan as well. Maybe MoraMoria! She seems up for it...

After all, that's the only ladies Dark stands a chance with.

Sorry for the long post, just realized I wrote paragraphs on paragraphs on whether Dave prefers pussy or bussy, maybe both, maybe neither, maybe all he thinks about is the Hollywood Hogan cock... Its just kinda funny in the end.
 
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Kevin should pay closer attention to his studies. Because if he did he'd know phil is a reprobate. The gacha habit is proof enough.

Proverbs 28:22
"He that hasteth to be rich [hath] an evil eye, and considerath not that poverty shall come upon him".

The only difference is phil desires to be rich with with sweaty men jpegs.
 
Or it could be his sense of humor actively regressing to 9 year old level. I lean more in the ED theory, specially because of his tard rage at any game featuring the slight mention of sex, probably because he gets reminded of his condition by the scenes.
Can't really argue other than it'd be funnier if he was closeted, but it's still not toilet humor. Toilet humor is low hanging fruit and easy to do, I.E: I'd rather chug a spoiled milkshake blended thoroughly with 7 types of the finest dry outside, moist inside toilet nuggies found in a Palestinian border porta-potty after an explosive diarrhea pandemic than play this shitty game/post on this shitty board/eat this shitty meal. I'd rather have the droppings of a sick elephant smeared all over my face and body, then be caked in pure liquid bullshit, as in, the shit of a bull, then rinse it off with Nikocado's latest mukbang results. I'd rather roll in Momokun's septic tank for seven straight days then have a relaxing hairwash with Jasper's treasure trove of month-old kitty litter. It's about painting a disgusting picture. With Phil it seems more like a humblebrag about just how powerful his ass is and how much of a beating it can take.

It always comes down, somehow, to penetration or use of his ass. Like he propels himself off the toilet while taking a shit, or he takes super long turds that are hard enough to stand up on, or shitty dicks, or getting his ass fucked and properly stretched out, or not wanting to be buttfucked, trust me. It's ALWAYS somehow really weirdly sexual, and that's what throws me off. It might be him trying to combine Old AVGN's toilet humor with Old Pewdiepie rape jokes into something altogether embarassing.

Realistically he's just terrible at comedy and doesn't get even what makes toilet humor funny. It just makes him come across as closeted and supremely thirsty. It's not even good at grossing people out, which is half the battle with toilet humor.
 
Personally I don't think he is gay, but terrified of the idea of being gay. Hence why he adopted what he thought was the alpha chad persona in the early days of his career, because no one would think he was gay if he kept telling his audience he would love to motorboat those fine titties. Now he's adopted what he thinks is the mature married man persona, no one can possibly think he is gay because he has a wife, and real men never look at or talk about other women,
 
derich is a weird one too. im convinced that guy has some sort of dirt on phil.
Well derich is a known degenerate that messages pornstars all day on twitter and he talks to Phil the same way he talks to them. Also, people have been speculating Phil's a closeted homosexual for years, and his first "gf" was 10 years younger than him. You don't think that....nah! No way.
 
Turtledude is a cuck, so that's not shocking.
If you give money to some thirty-nine year old fat bloke on the internet just to get his attention and make him feel better, your missus will very likely think of you as some beta faggot. How can she not?
For every pound he gave him, he could have got something for her, or for both of them. But why would he? It's a safer bet to support a poor bloke with boxes of every new console behind him and his wife that refuses to work.

Also Turtlecuck just a friendly chinwag. If your missus wants to hang out with a bloke you don't know, she doesn't want you to know or meet and his bloody family invite her to come over, you should know that every time you kiss her you're likely tasting that lads bellend mate. I hope Phil can cheer you up, maybe tip him a tenner and he will even call you sir.
 
It always comes down, somehow, to penetration or use of his ass. Like he propels himself off the toilet while taking a shit, or he takes super long turds that are hard enough to stand up on, or shitty dicks, or getting his ass fucked and properly stretched out, or not wanting to be buttfucked, trust me. It's ALWAYS somehow really weirdly sexual, and that's what throws me off. It might be him trying to combine Old AVGN's toilet humor with Old Pewdiepie rape jokes into something altogether embarassing.
I don't think he's attempting anything. He clearly legit enjoys such humor, and with all the other ways in which he is a complete child, that seems the most likely explanation here as well. Keep in mind that it has also never gotten him in hot water, like being a racist dickhead has. Phil isn't capable of growing up, and his nail-biting proves that anything he no longer says is simply being held in, entirely because it has been made a "No-no". Never forget that Phil never stops needing a mommy to be responsible for him. Even as he hates having boundaries, he still relies upon that figure of authority in his life, and turns whoever he comes into contact with into that figure if at all possible. Just look at how he speaks of whatever platform he uses after he gets in trouble for being an offensive shit-head. It's always on them to keep him in check, he's not to do it himself. He can't, and doesn't want to. Like a little boy.

It's the exact reason he never figures anything out on his own. He loves LOOKING like he's better than you, but it's entirely out of the insecurity he has ingrained in him because of his fear of actually being the independent adult he paints himself as. Not even all these years of living on his own has he truly stopped needing a safety blanket. He's still afraid of growing up, and it makes it hurt so much more when reality checks him over it. He knows exactly how much he barely qualifies as independent, and does so deliberately. His ego bitches about relying on a couple of whales, but it pales in comparison to the fear he has of any alternatives that a REAL adult would certainly choose.
Personally I don't think he is gay, but terrified of the idea of being gay. Hence why he adopted what he thought was the alpha chad persona in the early days of his career, because no one would think he was gay if he kept telling his audience he would love to motorboat those fine titties. Now he's adopted what he thinks is the mature married man persona, no one can possibly think he is gay because he has a wife, and real men never look at or talk about other women,
Fits in with his insecurity, which at first glance always seems oddly overblown. Though, since he never bitches about our speculation of him being gay, I would say it's more about appearing the kind of sissy that he associates homosexuality with. Phil grew up in the 90's, and that obviously informed his entire world view, which has not evolved. He may not look down his nose at "fags", but he hardly comprehends the idea of a "fag" who ISN'T the really feminine flaming homo type. Everyone is a stereotype to him, is his what I'm saying, and so he tries to fit the one he thinks he needs to in order to cover up how much of a scared little boy he really is.

There's a reason it originally involved being so perverted, after all, and we know what that reason is thanks to Leanna revealing that he didn't satisfy her. Phil doesn't fuck, and doesn't like people knowing it, so out comes either the lewd comments or the puritan act, both of which are a lie, employed for the same reason.
 
He doesn't seem to have the personality of a straight dude at all. Has he ever said a girl is hot ever? i don't think so. He also ignored panda when she was clearly indicating she wanted sex. What straight man would ignore the signals for sex to continue filming for a hotel room vlog?? it just doesn't make any sense. Maybe he isn't gay though and he's just Asexual.
 
I was in the "Phil is a closeted gay" camp, and even though it's the most hilarious I'm not certain anymore.

A lot of good points about his views on masculinity have been brought up. I think he sets off the gaydar because he's got the same kind of false machismo and obvious insecurity as a closeted homo.

He's just completely insecure about his obvious lack of masculinity. He constantly looks at ripped guys in singlets and buff vidya protagonists, he's gotta know he doesn't measure up. He's the same as those fat suburban dads that larp as outlaw bikers.
 
He doesn't seem to have the personality of a straight dude at all. Has he ever said a girl is hot ever? i don't think so. He also ignored panda when she was clearly indicating she wanted sex. What straight man would ignore the signals for sex to continue filming for a hotel room vlog?? it just doesn't make any sense. Maybe he isn't gay though and he's just Asexual.
Probably ED and low T. Even in the fappening he was struggling to get off. You can even see him frustrated at one point.

It likely is the alcohol abuse. Alcohol abuse leads to brain deterioration, cancer, ED, cirrhosis of the liver, and much more.

Long-term erectile dysfunction. The risk for long-term erectile dysfunction has been linked to chronic heavy use of alcohol. In fact, studies show that men who are dependent on alcohol have a 60 to 70 percent chance of suffering from sexual problems.

As much as we know he drinks.... it could be genetics but I doubt it. More likely the booze.
 
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He doesn't seem to have the personality of a straight dude at all. Has he ever said a girl is hot ever? i don't think so. He also ignored panda when she was clearly indicating she wanted sex. What straight man would ignore the signals for sex to continue filming for a hotel room vlog?? it just doesn't make any sense. Maybe he isn't gay though and he's just Asexual.

Phil is such a huge homophobe he basically fits into the category as the asshole dad from American Beauty who ends up being a closeted homosexual. It’s also on brand with every other form of projection that comes from DSP. If you want Phil to tell you the truth, you can’t just take his words literally, because he is a lying piece of shit. However, you can learn a lot about DSP by paying attention to who he hates and why he hates them. Phil’s struggles with jealousy and insecurity can be seen on basically every single one of his streams.

There isn’t the slightest chance that Phil is straight.
 
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