STARBEEZIN 08-11-21 Approximately noon local time.
So in case anyone was concerned that Nader's home cooking was going to interrupt The Cycle, this morning Chantal started talking about how she "didn't have to try so hard" to not eat fast food and that "maybe it was an unreasonable goal" to never eat fast food, and how maybe she could have it "once a week".
Then she went to Starbucks for a mug of liquid sugar (but just a grande because a venti is too much for her!), Burger King for a Whopper (Junior!) meal, and then KFC (but just a three piece meal! With a small salad! And just one small gravy!). The drive thru guy at KFC asked her if she wanted ketchup or hot sauce. "He totally wanted me," she assures us. "They usually don't ask that." And she means it. But "the grease is delicious, omg".
All that
in under an hour. As she rambled about maybe going for a walk later and asking how long she'd have to walk in order to burn off her TOTALLY NOT A BINGE. "I'm not even full," she says.
Brief moment of hilarity as her car is mobbed by seagulls she's throwing fries to. Don't worry, she got extra fries just for them. She still ate her own fries.
And now she's in a food coma, driving, making excuses for her "fast food bender" because she's so stressed, and now she's getting a Twisty Misty.
"I'm not sure about OnlyFans," she sighs, to the surprise of no one. "I was thinking of doing foot fetish porn," she says, to the horror of everyone.
Sad Gunt is sad because she's afraid her life is becoming boring. But also she has two lives and two homes because home is the people, not the place, and she's so at home with Nader, and she's literally slurring her words. Sad about trying to "merge" her two lives. "I am very stressed out. Very," she sighs as she slurps down the Misty, half-heartedly trying to sing a Weeknd song.
"You think I should get lip injections? And lipo on my chin. And veneers. Then I'll look just like everyone else. I don't want anyone to be more popular than me."
I'm so fascinated that she's identified her lips as a major flaw that needs addressing. The teeth and the chin, sure. But the lips? Not, maybe, the gunt? Or the baldness? Or the freakish toes or the weird ears? The lips, huh? That's what's holding you back from all those modelling contracts?
Lots of nose-picking in this stream. I WONDER WHY.
More details about "fupa man" she allegedly gave that blow job to. "He had five o'clock shadow on his fupa... He didn't even bother taking a shower or anything." Fancy that.
"What's wrong with being large? Besides diabetes." You're the one grunting and gasping from the exertion of turning your steering wheel and taking off your seatbelt.
"I'm not giving up my cats, I swear. I just need a breather." You heard it here, folks.
"Okkaay guyzzz... Imgonna go fer now..." That Twisty Misty is hitting hard.
"The luxury villa? Is that what you call it? It's far from luxury. It doesn't even have stainless steel appliances." How her tastes have matured and become more refined in the last year.
Rhythmic belching now. "I seem sad? I'm stressed is all." How. How are you stressed? What is possibly stressful?
"Jus gimme a minnnit..." Silence. Sighs. Grunts. Gunt is in seriously rough shape. "Go home an' cuddle the cats...? HOLD ON!" Gunt leaps into action to... take a call? I'm not sure.
Her chat is speculating she's calling Nader for permission to go home and nap rather than return to the trap house and pick him up for their walk. I'm not sure what makes me happier -- the prospect of him abusively forcing her into exercise or the potential of her going home and having a heart attack alone. Regardless, her chat is sure she's upset and sad about something Nader-related but can't tell them. For once, they might be right.
Comes back, quotes The Eagles, vanishes again, returns to suck the last drops out of the Misty.
"Le'ss go home... jus' for a bit... see th'cats." Earlier she was explicitly saying she didn't want to go home and see the cats "just for five minutes" and then leave again. Literally driving with her eyes closed. Again. No hands on the steering wheel -- one for the Misty, one for gesturing vaguely at houses she passes. At least it's a short drive home. Couldn't be more than a 30 minute walk, at the very very most.
Returns home and the FUCKING SMOKE DETECTOR IS STILL CHIRPING REEEEEEEEEE
Now we're muted and staring at the ceiling while she "pees". Taking bets now on whether she comes back mysteriously invigorated.
A brief return. "Gimme minnit," she gasps angrily before muting us again.
Sits down. Starts pulling food out of the fridge. Time to eat, clearly.
"I'll be back," she snarls.
Fin.
I'm giving this 7 Mugs O'Gravy out of 10. If nothing else, it was cool to see her hit up four fast food places in an hour, just like the good old days.