🐱 Why Is Chloé Zhao’s ‘Eternals’ Being Called the Worst MCU Movie Ever? For Reasons That Are Not Onscreen

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I disagree with other critics all the time, and don’t generally blink an eye about it, but as soon as the news dropped that “Eternals,” the Marvel epic directed by Chloé Zhao, had received the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score (48% fresh) of any film in the 13-year history of the MCU, making it the first official “Rotten” film in the series, my hidden-agenda detector went on high alert. Rotten Tomatoes scores are, to put it mildly, not something to be regarded as if they’d been handed down on stone tablets. Yet based on that score, and much of the web chatter about the movie, and the fact that it received a mere “B” from audiences polled by CinemaScore (horrors!), a meme has set in about “Eternals”: “Worst. Marvel. Movie. Ever.” Or, at the very least, a creative debacle. If you believe, as I do, that that’s an outlandish piece of hyperbole, then you’re going to start wondering about how and why, exactly, this collective trashing came to be.

On a recent episode of The Take, my colleagues Clayton Davis and Elizabeth Wagmeister agreed that the “Eternals”-as-MCU-disaster idea was, on some level, not unrelated to the fact that the film’s director is a woman. “Anytime a woman takes on the action genre, which has been made typically for men to helm,” explained Davis, “people come down harder on that filmmaker.” I think there is much truth to that assertion. A recent example: We saw the same kind of gnashing critical overstatement when Cathy Yan directed the 2020 DC film “Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn).” Chloé Zhao, fresh off her 2020 Oscar triumph with “Nomadland,” put serious things aside to play in the Marvel sandbox, and suddenly she has made the worst Marvel film ever. That’s deeply suspect. Especially considering that Zhao has such luminous technique as a filmmaker, much of which is on display in “Eternals.”

That said, if there is indeed a dollop of sexism embedded in the trashing of “Eternals,” it would be difficult to prove. So while I agree with my colleagues that it’s probably there, I’d like to offer my own theory — also unprovable, but it’s what I think — as to why “Eternals” has been treated so cavalierly.

I won’t relitigate the film’s virtues (I stand by my review of it). But in terms of the Rotten Tomatoes score, one has to ask: Really? Worse than the brain-bogglingly humdrum “Thor: The Dark World”? The cheesy-clunky “Iron Man 2”? The scarcely coherent “Avengers: Age of Ultron? Then again, even if you do agree that “Eternals” should be wedged in ahead of those, what piques my curiosity about the whole “‘Eternals’ be damned” reaction is that so many of the critics who have trashed the film are the kind of lofty cinephiles who’ve been ardent supporters of Chloé Zhao. You could say that this proves they don’t have a bias against her (or for her). In fact, you might assume that they’d be bending over backwards to salute her creative union with the MCU. Instead, I think they bent over backwards the other way — to condemn her creative union with the MCU.

But why, if my hunch is correct, would they do that?

In a strange way, the trashing of “Eternals” has happened out of a dogmatic, slightly perverse, more-highbrow-than-thou loyalty to Chloé Zhao — or, rather, to something she represents. I’m a Zhao believer (I think “The Rider” is brilliant), but last year I was one of the few critics to have a serious reservation or two about “Nomadland.” It’s a film made with awesome ingenuity and humanity, but, by the end of it, a certain sentimentality of vision sets in regarding Frances McDormand’s Fern and her stubborn allegiance to her neo-hippie life-in-a-van existence. The way I half-jokingly put it to friends was, “Sorry, but I’m too middle class to buy that ending.” And that was my honest feeling about it. I wish that feeling had been shared by more of my colleagues, but so be it. The praise for “Nomadland” was an undivided wall of rapture.

You glimpse that same wall in the trashing of “Eternals.” And here’s what I think it means. Chloé Zhao is a major film artist and, as a woman of color, a trailblazing force in the newly developing power dynamic of Hollywood. Marvel movies, which critics, by and large, are publicly blasé about and privately sick of, symbolize the opposing force: the monolith of movies as kiddified product. The MCU is the quintessential mainstream expression of the old power structure — an industry, smug in its corruption, run overwhelmingly by men, that has been feeding us a nonstop diet of fantasy since the salad days of Lucas and Spielberg. In my own review of “Eternals,” I noted that Zhao had taken her fluky and distinctive neorealist style and left it on the shelf. In “Eternals,” she’s a good soldier who buckles down, plays ball and gives in to the mass conventionality of Marvel storytelling. And I think a lot of critics look at the result and think, “They defeated her.”

There are certain enemies you can’t compromise with. And though I think the 100-year history of movies — and the future of movies, if they’re going to have a future — hinges on artists embracing the medium’s populist dimension, it’s my sense that the critical establishment today increasingly prefers to see cinema on two separate tracks: the jumbo-size popcorn movies made for a mass audience, and the smaller, more artful movies made… not for a mass audience. Chloé Zhao doing a Marvel movie, and subjugating a lot of her directorial personality to it, threatens that dichotomy. If she’s trying to work — not just literally but aesthetically — within the power structure, then she’s not fighting the power. And I think she’s being punished for that. The people whose opinions add up to “Eternals” being the “worst Marvel movie ever” don’t want to see Chloé Zhao make a conventional Marvel movie. They don’t want to see her win a battle and lose the war. They’d rather prove a point by making her a casualty of that war.
 
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Reactions: IAmNotAlpharius
Ohhhhhhhhhh so now the movie was panned by critics because Chloe Zhao is TOO GOOD for the mere commercialism of a Marvel movie. Jesus fucking Christ what a pretentious douche. BTW, the same guy who wrote this was one of the relatively small number of critics who gave the movie a positive review, so at least he's consistent in that, but it's also telling Variety has been doing damage control for this shitty movie.

I'll submit an alternate hypothesis as to why this movie received bad reviews from critics: they didn't fucking like it, which happens to be the case with most of the people unfortunate enough to have seen it.
 
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It could be not even Kirby fanboys give much of a fuck about the Eternals let alone Joe Sixpack and the cast is full of has beens and never was.

People like to bring up Guardians as some fluke out of nowhere hit but it had big star power with Pratt, recognizable genre actors in Saldana and Gillan, and stunt casting with Diesel and Brad Cooper as CGI puppet pals. Plus a good trailer and a popular soundtrack.

Outside of Gunn and Favreau no one cares who directed these movies, they're basically guns for hire.
 
Kathryn Bigelow is probably the best female working director.
 
I have no intention of seeing this movie ever, but I'm assuming critics aren't wowed by the usual woke fluff and are actually looking at the film critically for once and finding that it's actually trash. But that's just me being optimistic. I bet this is a whole fake controversy ploy to get people to "see it for themselves."
 
DC fans loved Patty Jenkins's Wonder Woman, and Kathryn Bigelow's been doing action films for ages. This is just lazy excuses and drags other female directors down. Is it not more likely to just be a bad film, or to be down to everyone being sick of superhero movies?
I know it's been said before, but no. Women are the niggers of gender, and anything that criticizes Party-approved women is simply misogynistic wrongthink. For example, since Sarah Palin is a non-Party approved woman and therefore calling her a niggerfaggot schizophrenic hypercunt is doubleplus good. Kamala Harris, on the other hand, is a Party-approved woman, so pointing out that she's a corrupt incompetent law-breaking DA who sucked a mean dick to get her start in politics (even if true) is doubleplusbad wrongthink.
 
I don't know who Zhao is or what the Eternals is, but reading this article has taught me nothing. I don't know why people say the movie is bad or why the author likes it (though I have some assumptions on the latter). All I really know is that the author is angry.
She’s an ugly chink who’s made a career out of making seething movies about her obsession with hating on white people.

Naturally, she has a white husband.
 
and her boring pan faced snaggletoothed ching chong main character is pursued by multiple white guys

Confucius must having a saying for this
You mean Freud.
Or Jung.
The not incest one.
Unless she's a half-breed.
 
You know you fucked up when even the paid shills from RT cant pretend your movie isnt a steaming turd
For those of you interested in Jack Kirby's Eternal run, you can buy the paperback version on Amazon for $36. It's more interesting than this dull movie.
Fuck that just pirate it, stop giving the comic fags money
 
I'm meh on capeshit in general but some capeshit .movies have been fun to watch but maybe I'm biased. I saw this movie and it was just super boring with convoluted plot that made no sense. It was worth the excuse to sneak liquor and get drunk and eat theatre popcorn, and there were explosions, but it's a 2.5 out of 5 stars movie at best. Nothing wrong with that, it's not terrible, but it's also not good. The fact that its not good has more to do with the writing than backlash to it being woke or something, at least imo. It's just a thoroughly average film, even by capeshit standards.
 
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