🐱 Why Is Chloé Zhao’s ‘Eternals’ Being Called the Worst MCU Movie Ever? For Reasons That Are Not Onscreen

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I disagree with other critics all the time, and don’t generally blink an eye about it, but as soon as the news dropped that “Eternals,” the Marvel epic directed by Chloé Zhao, had received the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score (48% fresh) of any film in the 13-year history of the MCU, making it the first official “Rotten” film in the series, my hidden-agenda detector went on high alert. Rotten Tomatoes scores are, to put it mildly, not something to be regarded as if they’d been handed down on stone tablets. Yet based on that score, and much of the web chatter about the movie, and the fact that it received a mere “B” from audiences polled by CinemaScore (horrors!), a meme has set in about “Eternals”: “Worst. Marvel. Movie. Ever.” Or, at the very least, a creative debacle. If you believe, as I do, that that’s an outlandish piece of hyperbole, then you’re going to start wondering about how and why, exactly, this collective trashing came to be.

On a recent episode of The Take, my colleagues Clayton Davis and Elizabeth Wagmeister agreed that the “Eternals”-as-MCU-disaster idea was, on some level, not unrelated to the fact that the film’s director is a woman. “Anytime a woman takes on the action genre, which has been made typically for men to helm,” explained Davis, “people come down harder on that filmmaker.” I think there is much truth to that assertion. A recent example: We saw the same kind of gnashing critical overstatement when Cathy Yan directed the 2020 DC film “Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn).” Chloé Zhao, fresh off her 2020 Oscar triumph with “Nomadland,” put serious things aside to play in the Marvel sandbox, and suddenly she has made the worst Marvel film ever. That’s deeply suspect. Especially considering that Zhao has such luminous technique as a filmmaker, much of which is on display in “Eternals.”

That said, if there is indeed a dollop of sexism embedded in the trashing of “Eternals,” it would be difficult to prove. So while I agree with my colleagues that it’s probably there, I’d like to offer my own theory — also unprovable, but it’s what I think — as to why “Eternals” has been treated so cavalierly.

I won’t relitigate the film’s virtues (I stand by my review of it). But in terms of the Rotten Tomatoes score, one has to ask: Really? Worse than the brain-bogglingly humdrum “Thor: The Dark World”? The cheesy-clunky “Iron Man 2”? The scarcely coherent “Avengers: Age of Ultron? Then again, even if you do agree that “Eternals” should be wedged in ahead of those, what piques my curiosity about the whole “‘Eternals’ be damned” reaction is that so many of the critics who have trashed the film are the kind of lofty cinephiles who’ve been ardent supporters of Chloé Zhao. You could say that this proves they don’t have a bias against her (or for her). In fact, you might assume that they’d be bending over backwards to salute her creative union with the MCU. Instead, I think they bent over backwards the other way — to condemn her creative union with the MCU.

But why, if my hunch is correct, would they do that?

In a strange way, the trashing of “Eternals” has happened out of a dogmatic, slightly perverse, more-highbrow-than-thou loyalty to Chloé Zhao — or, rather, to something she represents. I’m a Zhao believer (I think “The Rider” is brilliant), but last year I was one of the few critics to have a serious reservation or two about “Nomadland.” It’s a film made with awesome ingenuity and humanity, but, by the end of it, a certain sentimentality of vision sets in regarding Frances McDormand’s Fern and her stubborn allegiance to her neo-hippie life-in-a-van existence. The way I half-jokingly put it to friends was, “Sorry, but I’m too middle class to buy that ending.” And that was my honest feeling about it. I wish that feeling had been shared by more of my colleagues, but so be it. The praise for “Nomadland” was an undivided wall of rapture.

You glimpse that same wall in the trashing of “Eternals.” And here’s what I think it means. Chloé Zhao is a major film artist and, as a woman of color, a trailblazing force in the newly developing power dynamic of Hollywood. Marvel movies, which critics, by and large, are publicly blasé about and privately sick of, symbolize the opposing force: the monolith of movies as kiddified product. The MCU is the quintessential mainstream expression of the old power structure — an industry, smug in its corruption, run overwhelmingly by men, that has been feeding us a nonstop diet of fantasy since the salad days of Lucas and Spielberg. In my own review of “Eternals,” I noted that Zhao had taken her fluky and distinctive neorealist style and left it on the shelf. In “Eternals,” she’s a good soldier who buckles down, plays ball and gives in to the mass conventionality of Marvel storytelling. And I think a lot of critics look at the result and think, “They defeated her.”

There are certain enemies you can’t compromise with. And though I think the 100-year history of movies — and the future of movies, if they’re going to have a future — hinges on artists embracing the medium’s populist dimension, it’s my sense that the critical establishment today increasingly prefers to see cinema on two separate tracks: the jumbo-size popcorn movies made for a mass audience, and the smaller, more artful movies made… not for a mass audience. Chloé Zhao doing a Marvel movie, and subjugating a lot of her directorial personality to it, threatens that dichotomy. If she’s trying to work — not just literally but aesthetically — within the power structure, then she’s not fighting the power. And I think she’s being punished for that. The people whose opinions add up to “Eternals” being the “worst Marvel movie ever” don’t want to see Chloé Zhao make a conventional Marvel movie. They don’t want to see her win a battle and lose the war. They’d rather prove a point by making her a casualty of that war.
 
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Ctrl+F "because the script is a complete mess of too many characters, plot threads, and concepts stuffed into 2.5 hours that the nature of the MCU makes feel like homework"

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Into the trash it goes. FWIW, Fellowship of the Ring had 9 main characters, a 3 hour run time, and was part 1 of 3.
X-men and GOTG both had no issues introducing large casts of characters (in shorter run times no less) I wonder what went wrong with this film :thinking:
 
You know you fucked up when even the paid shills from RT cant pretend your movie isnt a steaming turd

Fuck that just pirate it, stop giving the comic fags money

the eternals is probably on sale at thrift stores and shit for 3 bucks.

it's really not worth it at full price unless you're a massive jack kirby fan.
X-men and GOTG both had no issues introducing large casts of characters (in shorter run times no less) I wonder what went wrong with this film :thinking:
that's because X-Men and Gotg both had engaging casts that people could follow.

I mean, X-Men are mostly A-Listers. The GOTG just made things intriguing and set up ties to higher stakes in both films. After all, the whole mythos of Thanos is tied with a lot of cosmic Marvel by way of Gamora/Drax.

That and GOTG 1 kinda used very obvious cliches to get everything going, but it executed them decently. The only complaint I even have is making Ronan a whackjob and killing him off when the dude's historically been more of a Kree Guardian/Hero/General than a whackjob.

But then, I'm not sure who'd have been the right villain for GOTG 1. Spartax is too niche to introduce (Starlord's alien heritage), Halfworld's in a similar boat of being too niche, but Rocket's more interesting than Starlord.

Honestly I wanna see Korvac come into the MCU. Either version of him.
 
Nobody gives a shit about some nobody chink woman as director. If she was given a screenplay worth a damn I'm sure it would have been passable. If you desperately wanted a successful woman-led Marvel movie, let's see some Jean Grey, Storm, Jubilee & Rogue gal-palling around. If you want to use weird C-listers, you could make Squirrel Girl or Gwenpool in some sort of female Deadpool-style comedy popcorn flick if you have actors that aren't insufferable and a script worth half a shit.
 
The reason some Marvel films that you could probably say are objectively worse got higher reviews is because they were riding the Marvel wave and they actually felt like Marvel films. This feels like it's by another studio attempting to crack into the super hero genre. Made by people who don't really like or watch super hero films or read comic books.

Also Marvel has to take some blame for spreading their, "this could be the first comic book film to win best picture" rumor bullshit to build hype while the film was delayed.

The films boring. There isn't much action and what there is is generic. Lots of scenes of characters we don't care about talking. It's a really inefficient run script. There's lots of cool ideas and concepts but the film doesn't know how to do anything with them.

I'd actually be interested in watching a thorough dissection of the film by a good youtuber. There's so many odd choices and pointless choices. Honestly, I don't know how Marvel dropped the ball so bad. It doesn't feel like a Marvel film at all and not in a good way.
 
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The films boring. There isn't much action and what there is is generic.
The lasers kingo shot from his hands (specifically in finger gun pantomime) made an absurdly cartoony “pew pew” sound in the clip they released as a preview is what sold me on this being a mess
 
The lasers kingo shot from his hands (specifically in finger gun pantomime) made an absurdly cartoony “pew pew” sound in the clip they released as a preview is what sold me on this being a mess

Honestly that's one of the only cool things done with the powers. His character isn't very good, but one of the better ones. More just because he's hamming it up a bit and smug. Which honestly is probably how pleased the actor is with himself for getting got jacked rather than a character choice. Barely in it though. At one point in the film he does something and I literally was like, "oh yeah him... where's be been for the previous 30 minutes. " I honestly have no clue if he was off screen, in the background or what.

They all have variations of manifesting weird gold line patterned things. It's never really explained. They're as powerful as they need in any scene.

One flies and has eye lasers.
Angelina can make a shield and a spear.
One makes gloves so he can punch hard.
One can change the material of non-living things.
One can heal people.
One can run fast.
One controls peoples minds.
One makes visions appear.
One invents things???
One shoots balls of yellow.

It's so odd and least effective bunch of super heroes. They just fight the odd similar monsters. Often one by one. It's not inventive at all. It's also just all kind of random. I mean why create these beings as a team with those powers?
 
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Honestly that's one of the only cool things done with the powers. His character isn't very good, but one of the better ones. More just because he's smug, probably off how pleased the actor is with himself he got jacked. Barely in it though. At one point in the film he does something and I literally was like, "oh yeah him... where's be been for the previous 30 minutes. " Honestly have no clue if he was off screen, in the background or what.

They all have variations of manifesting weird gold line patterned things. It's never really explained. They're as powerful as they need in any scene.

One flies and has eye lasers.
Angelina can make a shield and a spear.
One makes gloves so he can punch hard.
One can change the material of non-living things.
One can heal people.
One can run fast.
One controls peoples minds.
One makes visions appear.
One invents things???
One shoots balls of yellow.

It's so odd and least effective bunch of super heroes. They just fight the odd similar monsters. Often one by one. It's not inventive at all. It's also just all kind of random. I mean why create these beings as a team with those powers?
Liked him in Silicon Valley. Just as a completionist I’d watch the film but was very let down initially lol
 
Chloé Zhao, fresh off her 2020 Oscar triumph with “Nomadland,” put serious things aside to play in the Marvel sandbox, and suddenly she has made the worst Marvel film ever. That’s deeply suspect. Especially considering that Zhao has such luminous technique as a filmmaker, much of which is on display in “Eternals.”

Whatever the fuck "luminous technique" is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work with capeshit.

Also, isn't it that case that all the MCU action scenes are decided by committee years before they even go looking for a director? IIRC at least one famous director passed on Marvel projects when he learned they wouldn't have much if any input about any of the action scenes.
 
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She’s an ugly chink who’s made a career out of making seething movies about her obsession with hating on white people.

Naturally, she has a white husband.
For some reason WMAW couples are complete melts while AMWW couples are normal or cool people. (With the exception of Arthur Chu and his missus, but they broke up after his manchild behaviour got too much for her.) I suspect it's because you tend to get more male weebs/koreaboos/sinaboos/yellow fever types and more female gaijin-zuki/whatever the word is in other languages for a creepy nerdy womanchild who can't get laid in her own country and fetishises white boys. That might change as you see more awkward white girls getting into Kpop and shit like that, or if there's a lot of Asian neckbeards getting into Western capeshit.
The reason some Marvel films that you could probably say are objectively worse got higher reviews is because they were riding the Marvel wave and they actually felt like Marvel films. This feels like it's by another studio attempting to crack into the super hero genre. Made by people who don't really like or watch super hero films or read comic books.

Also Marvel has to take some blame for spreading their, "this could be the first comic book film to win best picture" rumor bullshit to build hype while the film was delayed.

The films boring. There isn't much action and what there is is generic. Lots of scenes of characters we don't care about talking. It's a really inefficient run script. There's lots of cool ideas and concepts but the film doesn't know how to do anything with them.

I'd actually be interested in watching a thorough dissection of the film by a good youtuber. There's so many odd choices and pointless choices. Honestly, I don't know how Marvel dropped the ball so bad. It doesn't feel like a Marvel film at all and not in a good way.
The Critical Drinker did a short review of it, it's mostly him taking the piss but he can be pretty insightful. https://youtu.be/oGyVuRhak38
 
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