Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Never Scored]

Lowtax's Mom: Dear granddaughters, always remember that your dad killed himself to avoid supporting you financially. It's all your fault.

I basically have this image of Lowtax's mom in my head as the mom from Arrested Development.

 

[Kirby]

i never really followed this guy but i guess something awful must have happened to make him decide to kill himself

 

[Lurk McDurk]

being in your 40s is a trip

I'm exactly 7 months younger than Lowtax (and catching up to him every day...). My list of addictions is diet soda and a vape with no nicotine in it. Despite spending every other day in the hospital as a kid getting a cast or stitches just like most other kids from the era before health care became a feeder circuit for bankruptcy lawyers, my list of recurring maladies include getting fatter and brittle fingernails... you know, like most other middle aged people.

Like I said, things don't add up.

1. A man who cannot defend himself against a German movie producer / amateur pretend gym guy from even one punch did not manage to physically contain multiple e-girls long enough to beat any one of them up. Doesn't add up.

2. A man who cannot defend himself against a German movie producer / amateur pretend gym guy from even one punch did not manage to get some sort of permanent injury from physical activity. Doesn't add up.

3. Every pill head turned heroin addict I've ever met has got a story about some sort of degenerative nerve disease that has baffled the world since the dark ages. I'm sympathetic to the ones who got that way because they were a roofer or floor contractor working 60 hour weeks for 20 years. But the minute they respond to a question about their livelihood with "run a forum, get patreon bux" they lost me. Doesn't add up.

The people most invested in these narratives are invested because they fancy themselves a patreon celeb, high on xanax while sorting through e-girl plane tickets.

 

[NulWillBecomeTranny]

I'm exactly 7 months younger than Lowtax

you're too old to be here, go bother other boomers in your local nursing home

 

[TheGuntinator]

Is he like really dead or is this like avoiding debt collectors dead?

I think he's "i dont want to deal with my absolutely awful internet following and i want to fake being dead so they leave me alone". Either way, pretty funny how the audience he gathered fir over a decade ruined his mental health

 

[HumanHive]

When he first joined this forum and people started sucking up to him I said he wasn't all that and a bag of chips and he said I was just putting on an ironic fake-detachment and pretending not to care.

Nobody gets away with saying I care about things on the internet. Nobody. Even if I have to dedicate my life to getting revenge, even if I have to wait six fucking years and catch them in a courthouse parking lot and force a gun into their mouth I'll fucking do it. That's how much I don't care.

It sounds like you cared quite a bit.

 

[Haint]

One less useless oxygen waster.

 

[Dyn]

It sounds like you cared quite a bit.

HumanHive is going to commit suicide also sometime around next Friday I reckon.

 

[Aciddab]

Communities like Something Awful take a tremendous mental toll on the people who run them.

You can say what you like about Christopher Poole, AKA Moot (the standard autocomplete is probably still 'Moot is a fag'). He got out from under 4chan at the right time and he did something else. Lowtax left it too late. He dug a hole that was too deep and then concluded that life wasn't worth living. He leaves behind a family who will have to deal with the long-term practical and emotional consequences of his decision.

There is a time to step away. Just like there will be a time to step away from the Farms. Five years from now, I don't want to read an online dispatch about Null an-heroing, after being cornered in some backwater nation that lacks an extradition treaty with the US. I want to read a profile in the Financial Times about his flourishing agricultural empire that began with a single banana pepper plant and is now buying up farmland previously owned by Bill Gates. I want to read about a second act where people like this lead normal lives, finally make some money and aren't dogged by lunatics like Russell Greer.

There will always be someone online who will cater to hopeless cases like me, who just want to sit at the bar of the Titanic as it slips beneath the waves. I don't want these individuals to drag themselves down into an inescapable existential abyss, just so that I can point and laugh at people who are marginally more degenerate I am.

yadda yadda, is tom fulp the only one who won? ive heard literally NOTHING about him. dude passed up a cool billion and isnt in the limelight

 

[potato fan]

Pretty sad. I remember being on SA in it's glory days and having great time. The tons of funny shit that came out of that place was unreal.
Then it starting going to shit, people started leaving, and when casual racism became a bannable offence I got banned and never re-regged after that. I don't hate LT for what he had done with the forums, it was his creation, it is sad however how it ended up.
Out of curiosity checked out the frontpage and it hasn't been updated in over a year. Checked out gibbis and it looks like a even post-post-irony is dead, we are at post-humor stage.
Sad all around.

 

[Ghostse]

I think he's "i dont want to deal with my absolutely awful internet following and i want to fake being dead so they leave me alone". Either way, pretty funny how the audience he gathered fir over a decade ruined his mental health

Lie down with goons, wake up with screeching trannies & 6-figure child support obligations.

 

[Sweetened Condensed]

I'm exactly 7 months younger than Lowtax (and catching up to him every day...). My list of addictions is diet soda and a vape with no nicotine in it. Despite spending every other day in the hospital as a kid getting a cast or stitches just like most other kids from the era before health care became a feeder circuit for bankruptcy lawyers, my list of recurring maladies include getting fatter and brittle fingernails... you know, like most other middle aged people.

Like I said, things don't add up.

1. A man who cannot defend himself against a German movie producer / amateur pretend gym guy from even one punch did not manage to physically contain multiple e-girls long enough to beat any one of them up. Doesn't add up.

2. A man who cannot defend himself against a German movie producer / amateur pretend gym guy from even one punch did not manage to get some sort of permanent injury from physical activity. Doesn't add up.

3. Every pill head turned heroin addict I've ever met has got a story about some sort of degenerative nerve disease that has baffled the world since the dark ages. I'm sympathetic to the ones who got that way because they were a roofer or floor contractor working 60 hour weeks for 20 years. But the minute they respond to a question about their livelihood with "run a forum, get patreon bux" they lost me. Doesn't add up.

The people most invested in these narratives are invested because they fancy themselves a patreon celeb, high on xanax while sorting through e-girl plane tickets.

If some random body part didn't blow out the day you ticked over to 40, consider yourself fortunate. It's pretty common. I'm not shocked to hear a 45 year old has a back problem. I'm not sure why you think its so nefarious or why it matters

 

[LurkTrawl]

Well, shit. Hope he's in a better place I guess.

yadda yadda, is tom fulp the only one who won? ive heard literally NOTHING about him. dude passed up a cool billion and isnt in the limelight

I think Castle Crashers 2 is in development, iirc.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

If Lowtax really did pass on, at least he's no longer suffering.

Inferno, the epic poem by Dante, describes a section of the Seventh Circle of Hell where the souls of suicides go. As soon as a man kills himself, his soul drops straight through the earth, bypassing the vestibule and the “abandon every hope, ye who enter here” gate and all that other preliminary shit. His soul lands in a valley and transforms into a tree that can feel pain and complain about it, but little else. It spends eternity sitting immobile and being mutilated by shrieking harpies.

So not much different from Richard during his life.

 

[Dyn]

 

[Ghostse]

If some random body part didn't blow out the day you ticked over to 40, consider yourself fortunate. It's pretty common. I'm not shocked to hear a 45 year old has a back problem. I'm not sure why you think its so nefarious or why it matters

Because nigga was buying a GTR and only had "back problems" when he needed to beg for money or to escape responsibility for something.

He didn't have any health problems that weren't the result of being a pillhead.

 

[TurdFondler]

I've been monitoring the police blotter in Lee's Summit and St. Louis proper, and nothing has appeared.

Suicides are almost always unreported.

 

[byuu]

What a waste.
Could have blamed it on KF and created some drama at least.

 

[Mullti Port RDRAM]

Suicides are almost always unreported.

Which means it'll be a week at best before an obit appears.

What a waste.
Could have blamed it on KF and created some drama at least.

It's only thursday. The week is young.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I think Castle Crashers 2 is in development, iirc.

1. Why am I only learning of this NOW?

2. Why am I learning of this in a thread largely now covering a suicide of an unrelated guy?