Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,390
Oh you also forgot about how he constantly has kidney stones, which required the doc to extract from his micropeen and blowing out his Achilles’ tendon from a brief stroll. Also, his gallbladder exploded from the amount of shit food he was consuming. Cursed to be undying and roam the lands in search of food to quench his insatiable hunger.

Edit: Included here is an easy reference list for this zombie of a human.

Fat Jack's Fat Ailments:
  1. 3 Strokes and counting (includes a mini stroke which he brushed it off)
  2. Severe obesity/high cholesterol
  3. Type 2 diabetes from his obvious shit diet
  4. Thyroids removed
  5. Gallbladder blowing out from the amount of fat he consumes
  6. Blown out Achilles tendon from attending a simple walking event (required 2 foot surgeries)
  7. Several kidney stones which required surgical removal, which of course he blamed it on Tennessee's drinking water
This is why he deserves to die all his health problems are from his own gluttony.
 
No words...
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"before they get changed"

these boomers obsession with this culture wars nonsense is laughable. and you know this was 100% jack's idea too. "hey honey, we should go out and buy all the dr seuss books for our future grandkids because who knows when those evil liberals will change them!"
The books look like he bought them on a flea market.
 
Maybe they watched his videos and sent him a cease and desist letter. Wouldn't be a first tho.
They're a pyramid scheme so they don't really give a fuck if the people there lose weight or not. It's all about shilling overpriced food items to these brain dead morons. Anybody can lose weight if they just put their minds to it and don't go out literally every day to eat. It just takes some time, a willingness to see what you're eating, figure out your macros and stick to it.

No words..
I'm all for those books being given to kids. I've gone on record saying "Green Eggs and Ham" is one of the greatest books written in the past however many years. But not all those are Dr. Seuss and it's not that the books have been banned, some of them are just not going to be reprinted because of negative racial stereotypes. Like a lot of things I don't agree with banning them as they're the products from another time. I can see why some people have an issue with them but honestly I'm cool with Dr. Seuss books.

Mushbrain is however just trying to stick it to the libs. It's one of the only victories he gets in life, however minor it is, but it makes him feel like a big man.
 
He's like a doomsday prepper. I'm thinking he wants them to get him a grandchild already, which is why he tagged them. Then he can finally achieve his lifelong dream: Baby Food Wars.
I was gonna say that he probably wouldn't need grandkids as an excuse to eat baby food, since it's food and he probably doesn't discriminate against food. However, baby food is mostly mushed up vegetables. He requires his meals to consist of raw, bloody meat that's been ruined by randomly selected spices from his cabinet, topped off with his bullshit sauce.
 
No words..

What if Tammy Jr. is pregnant and was keeping it a secret and this is Fat Jack's way of ruining the surprise? I wouldn't be shocked if that's the case, it doesn't take rocket surgeons to make babies.



This picture makes me think of Idiocracy with how humanity in that movie continued to get dumber with each generation.
 
I was gonna say that he probably wouldn't need grandkids as an excuse to eat baby food, since it's food and he probably doesn't discriminate against food. However, baby food is mostly mushed up vegetables. He requires his meals to consist of raw, bloody meat that's been ruined by randomly selected spices from his cabinet, topped off with his bullshit sauce.
They do make meat-shaped molds for purée foods, but that's for the adult who has dysphagia. Sometimes multiple strokes do affect your swallow, and/or your gag reflex...

meeatcuuuube.png
 
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