Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

[Archeops]

On Tofurkeys: when I volunteered at food pantries, you could not fucking give Tofurkeys away. Literally.

If you are ever actually legit near death starving, somehow, in the U.S., against all odds, and live in a city that has a health food store but not enough yuppies and degenerates to use all the weird extra shit they stock, ask the food bank if they have any meatless stuff they don't want. Soy and black bean products for fucking weeks, my friends.

I can believe that, when I was grocery shopping yesterday the frozen food section still had Tofurkey roasts in stock. Well… That and my family, the closest being pescatarians, found it to be revolting when they had for Thanksgiving many years ago.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

I'm baking cookies, cooking a small dinner for my lad and I, and just found out my best friend that lives on the other side of the country is coming to visit us for a couple hours because her weird boyfriend has family close by, so today's going to be quite comfy.

Tell us more about the weird boyfriend.

 

[Smash That Kike Button]

I’m visiting my wife outside the US. We’re treating her parents to a nice meal instead of cooking. And I took all of next week off so I’m in chill mode.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I'll be eating turkey, smoked venison and fried oysters with my redneck family later tonight and then smoking weed around a bonfire after

Damn, I'm coming to your house instead of cooking for the horde today.

 

[Uncle Warren]

We're gonna have a ham today. I'm happy. I do not like turkey.

 

[SilenceIsViolence]

Thanksgiving is the most based US Holiday, change my mind:

• Based of a fake myth of Peace with the Natives
• Everyone gets the day off from work, even Target shuts down.
• Only purpose is to fight with family about politics while embracing Amerifat cuisine
• Best night of sleep due to food coma post feast
• Don't have to see family again till Christmas

I really see no downsides.

 

[mindlessobserver]

I'll be eating turkey, smoked venison and fried oysters with my redneck family later tonight and then smoking weed around a bonfire after

Europoors will never experience something like this.

 

[Slaeghunder]

Europoors will never experience something like this.

Basically my thanksgiving but with guns added. God bless America

 

[thegooddoctor]

Britain doesn't bother teaching history anymore huh

What the hell do u mean, you stole land from native Americans that’s all there is to it

 

[toiling in obscurity]

My parents went out of town to be with other extended family so I am watching their house and five dogs while also hosting for my very weird/awkward/annoying gluten free mother in law and a sister in law who still thinks she’s young enough to display her main character syndrome and boast about doing drugs and living in California. SIL is thin and the type of bitch to brag about how drunk she is off of two beers. At least she didn’t bring her boyfriend this year and at least I will have my delicious green bean casserole to eat. Cheers and happy thanksgiving, kiwis

 

[Mister Mint]

Had to cancel proper thanksgiving because I might have covid, so it's just me and my son, who gave it to me. Barely got any sleep last night, too grumpy, tired, and weak to cook but I will anyway because that's what the pilgrims would have wanted.

 

[mindlessobserver]

What the hell do u mean, you stole land from native Americans that’s all there is to it

It was far more based then that. We came upon them with the thunder of horses, the steel of our Rifles and the power of our industry. We scattered them all before us, cast down their civilization utterly and paved over the bones of their dead ancestors. All to the cries of their children and the lamentation of their women.

It was great.

 

[In Memoriam]

Why do we always have to eat so goddamn early, is what I want to know.

 

[kickingstones]

They made this twink sing a Christmas carroll at the local parade. This country is retarded.

 

[Rekkington]

I'll spend Thanksgiving like I spend every day: pretending to be American online.

 

[Botched Tit Job]

I'm listening to Alice's Restaurant at noon and then disappearing into the woods until tomorrow. It's hard to cook anything over a WindBurner so it's soup tonight and belated holiday food tomorrow.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Why do we always have to eat so goddamn early, is what I want to know.

So you have more time to eat and more importantly so you can start drinking early.

 

[KiwiFarmerSimulator2021]

I went to a vegetarian Thanksgiving and was reminded, by the table full of vegetables, to give thanks for KF.

Boom roasted.

 

[Nobue]

i'm thankful for the misery of everyone pretending they don't love fried turkey b/c you do like it and you wish you had it today but you don't

I've only had the fried kind once, and prefer the traditional kind. Gotta have some fatty ham though

 

[DatBepisTho]

It would have just been me and my baby boomer parents this year, but I too used coof as an excuse to not to go.

Holidays are a rough time for me and I really don't like being around people for them, but bepiswife is off while sick so I won't be asocial and comfy alone.

-Thinking I'll make that chocolate pecan cheesecake today, too.