Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

[Accept Only Substitutes]

Spent the morning cooking, spent twenty minutes eating. My fridge is full of leftovers, because even though it's just my husband and myself if I'm going to the trouble of making a big dinner I want it to count.

My fucked up knee is killing me now and so is my back. That's why I rarely cook a real meal, but once a year it's worth it.

Happy Thanksgiving nerds. Thankful for y'all. Even the tards among us.

 

[Creep3r]

My gay vaccine coomplier preachy leftist uncle hasn't shown up to where we're celebrating yet, so I'd say things are going pretty well. Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.

I know that feel. Sadly my insufferable and preachy bro in-law showed up and made Thanksgiving a pain in the ass for me again. The son of a bitch even threw away a slice of the peach cobbler I made and didn't even take a single bite. If you don't want cobbler then don't ask for it you mongoloid. Oh well, at least he kept his chatter to a bare minimum this year.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

 

[The Ultimate Ramotith]

I brought up tha th is the 400th anniversary of Thanksgiving.
Actually, I go that information from American Thinker.

 

[Rabidcolombian]

Average American After Thanksgiving Feast

 

[weedcum]

I hate my family but I'm stuck with them. There's some strife with a family member who has some issues and I just dread having to sit at the same table with them. When I live alone I don't celebrate holidays. I'm just so over it.

Also, no gluten now so I can't even have pie or stuffing. I was gonna ask for gluten free stuffing. but I already got a huge "eww" at the thought of maybe trying some gluten free pasta once. So I got some gluten free brownies yesterday. Honestly you can't even tell the difference and they are the best brownies I've ever had.



I want to send one of these to everyone I hate. As a heartfelt Christmas gift.

late reply but gluten free brownies can be better than gluten brownies it's fucking weird
like gluten free cookies always suck shit unless they're all chocolate, i guess chocolate acts as a binding agent in lieu of gluten. gluten free food can be tasty but it's seen as a weird addition to existing food rather than a trait any food can have smh

 

[Fat Gay Riker]

Dinner went well. What's left of the family is getting to retirement age so I get to help out more than usual. So less drinking and plenty of work. Now it's relaxing time.

 

[Serbian Peacekeepers]

Thanksgiving went well , average deal , little kids running around screaming the entire time , but i enjoyed it , now i get to read all these stories while non americans seeth and cope about today.

 

[The Keebler Elf]

My brother told us at dinner that Thanksgiving was ACTUALLY based off of native american pow-wow traditions and that white people stole after genociding them. He's taking a bunch a social justice classes at college so I'm not too surprised, but it was still jarring to hear it said out loud with a straight face.

Don't worry, he'll get worse!

 

[The Keebler Elf]

Both parents are working, I don't like the extended family on my mom's side, and everyone directly related live in other states: aunt lives in one state with her family, and my dad's side lives in another. I've been home alone, and the only I may eat is pizza.

 

[Puff]

Had to roast instead of smoke or fry the turkey this year because my grandparents are old and hate good food. Still turned out okay.
Spend most of the day getting climbed on by a 7 year old and trying not to say "nigger" in front of my sister-in-law (a music teacher and uberprogressive) One of the uncles was unsuccessful in this endeavor, but she either hid her anger or did not hear.

 

[Archeops]

I fucked up on the brisket and I apparently set it up to marinate too late, that won’t be ready for another day…

Thankfully my local Kroger-operated store had PLENTY of hams left so I decided to grab a small spiral-sliced half-ham and some extra ingredients, mostly for a honey glaze (apparently the packaged glaze the ham comes with is terrible) and some red potatoes to roast.

late reply but gluten free brownies can be better than gluten brownies it's fucking weird
like gluten free cookies always suck shit unless they're all chocolate, i guess chocolate acts as a binding agent in lieu of gluten. gluten free food can be tasty but it's seen as a weird addition to existing food rather than a trait any food can have smh

That’s probably due to the sugar, butter, and eggs (or butter and egg substitutes if you’re a disgusting heathen and going vegan) in most brownie recipes: the first two are also present in fudge recipes and eggs provide an alternate binding agent.

 

[Puff]

Also, made chocolate pudding pie for dessert.

That's what we were missing. MOTHERFUCKER.

 

[Soycast Guy]

Yup, i have a schizo in the family but not even they’re dumb enough to fall for Q shit.

I genuinely don’t know how anyone falls for it at this point. I used to be one of those guys but not anymore. Fucking 10 or so months after the election and these mfs still think “the plan” will happen.

 

[Deezy]

I’m an off-shift healthcare drone, so I went to work, but my family is small and they don’t mind postponing the holiday dinner until the weekend for me.

 

[ComedyEnjoyer]

A downie was at the table and it made the whole thing uncomfortable and awkward as everyone tried to pretend they didn't wish he was anywhere else.

 

[MrShekelstein36]

My brother told us at dinner that Thanksgiving was ACTUALLY based off of native american pow-wow traditions and that white people stole after genociding them. He's taking a bunch a social justice classes at college so I'm not too surprised, but it was still jarring to hear it said out loud with a straight face.

But it is. Didn't you know that white people have no culture of their own?

 

[Autistic Joe]

I'm going to the Uber-rich side of husband's family today, these people can afford a 20 person Thanksgiving meal to be catered. We'll see if the food is any better than the potlucks my family usually does.

Ugh... reminds me of my brother-in-law. The catered food will likely not be better (probably bland, for one thing), plus if they're anything like my in-laws, 50/50 chance it'll be skimpy portions and not "really" enough food. (I'm used to holidays where we make "enough food for an army".)

 

[MrShekelstein36]

I’m an off-shift healthcare drone, so I went to work, but my family is small and they don’t mind postponing the holiday dinner until the weekend for me.

I feel your pain fellow healthcare drone. I'm on my shift as a crisis counselor. Sadly all my family are around 400mi away so I probably won't see them till Christmas.

 

[spinch]

i had a child try to rip a piercing out of my face because i'd look better without it.
i also had one of my spouse's family members look at me with disdain and say my tattoos were "interesting"
i got a call from my grandmother asking why it was such a big deal to drive several hundred miles to her condemned trailer to eat with her. she revealed she still has not disposed of her dog's corpse.

other than that it was a pretty uneventful holiday. i'm glad i didn't spend it with my side of the family because that shit is always a nightmare.

 

[Two-bit]

Woke up this morning with my lower back completely fucked up. Must've slept on it wrong or some shit. Skip ahead to after the cooking is done and Im still in pain. At least I have alcohol to dull my brain for a while. Other than that, Thanksgiving went very well. Lots of good food and time with family.