Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

Well it appears that my folks ended up joining me and another family friend for Thanksgiving dinner after all, they decided to call off the brunch due to one guest not getting enough sleep last night and all of them finding the menu severely lacking.

Thankfully I had enough mac & cheese and roasted potatoes for two more people. Both were well-received by everyone and the ham turned out perfect.

Now all that’s left is dessert and I think we’ll stick with the apple blossoms.
 
I could not be more full, and I have not had homemade apple pie yet.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor—and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.”

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be—That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks—for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation—for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war—for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed—for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted—for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

and also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions—to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually—to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed—to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord—To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and us—and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New-York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789. -G.Washington
Amen.
 
Had coon and possum alongside turkey before. Ascended white trash families make for interesting tables.
Edit: never pheasant, you rich faggot. Deer has never been on for thanksgiving before. I wonder why.... we always have some around
Don't buy it lol shoot it. It helps to have lots of redneck hunters in the family especially if some of them have freezers they pretty much just keep game meat in.
You should try venison for thanksgiving it's good. Best part is that even the scraps can be used to make deer jerky, arguably one of the best parts of being in a redneck family is having multiple recipes for a plethora of freshly killed critter meats available more or less year round depending on how active the game wardens are.
 
Does mac and cheese have special thanksgiving significance, or is it just a popular side dish?
 
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Don't buy it lol shoot it. It helps to have lots of redneck hunters in the family especially if some of them have freezers they pretty much just keep game meat in.
You should try venison for thanksgiving it's good. Best part is that even the scraps can be used to make deer jerky, arguably one of the best parts of being in a redneck family is having multiple recipes for a plethora of freshly killed critter meats available more or less year round depending on how active the game wardens are.
Pheasant hunting around here is considered a rich man's sport. I'm not the big hunter in the family, so I don't know but I suspect it's because you have to travel for it.
I just realized there's duck in the freezer. We need to make more use of this shit on holidays.
 
Dropped all my red/black pills by the fire pit with my father early on but managed to bite my tongue in front of my ex-hippie, geriatric, lesbiananic, social worker Aunt and just chugged my Guiness when she started going on about piss tests this time.

She thinks she gets to lecture me on drugs cause I smoke weed, like her job lording over welfare nogs entitles her to, even though I'm a man in my 30s who hasn't been unemployed since I was 15 and she's the one whose kids are all fucked (heroine, anhero/OD, full blown schizo dependant). A debate with her is like fighting a chihuahua, it nips and nips and you hold back because you know that you could just kill shot it with one good kick at any time.

Then my submissive ass dog wanting to play triggered my Dad's dogs PTSD (it got attacked by some Shepard the fucking yids around the block couldn't control years ago) and we had to break up a dog fight before it really kicked off.

Otherwise it was pretty normal, Dad put endless niggerball on TV, my mom made good food and I got to go through some old shit and take home old books and some junk for my kids.
 
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Pheasant hunting around here is considered a rich man's sport. I'm not the big hunter in the family, so I don't know but I suspect it's because you have to travel for it.
It's because of the dogs; the puppies themselves are fucking expensive, plus training them to flush & retrieve birds. Finding pheasants really isn't that difficult up north or out west, if you know where to look. They're relatively common, just elusive.

The shotguns used are typically over-unders, and generally aren't expensive. Though bespoke, engraved guns are more of a thing with those guys.
 
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It was nice, got to travel out of town with my parents to visit my sister and her husband because they wanted to both families to celebrate the first Thanksgiving in their new house. My BIL is from New Orleans and loves to cook, so we had gumbo and a turkey with some kind of Cajian seasoning, super good. Nothing super exciting happened, so I reckon I’m thankful for calm seas this year.

Got to visit this retro pinball bar the night before and blow some money on craft beers and vintage pinball machines.
 
Sat around most of the day due to family's Thanksgiving plans being canceled due to some family fighting between my aunt, her mother, and her husband.
So for the most part, immediate family stayed home, cooked some stuff other than Turkey, got full; chilled with some buds, listened to my bipolar sister whine about how we shouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving because we are Native American-Mexican mixed.

Listened to her meltdown when the rest of the family collectively told her in various ways "Who gives a fuck, its a 2-3 day paid work holiday. We all work 9-5's and any extra day off is awesome."

As a native, I could give a fuck less about the awareness of the holiday. I literally saw a gigantic Goku hover through New York during the Thanksgiving Day parade. How can you hate a holiday that has that?
 
Went over to my aunt's the day before, was a bit awkward at first cause I have trouble talking with so many people around but it got better after I helped my grandpa with the turkey. Ate some nice food and slipped into a food coma.
Today I ate a bit less and didn't immediately fall into a food coma. Didn't really have any special food aside from a nice chocolate pie.
Really I'm thankful for my family because of how caring and understanding they are, especially when it comes to my retard brain
 
I was at my elderly grandmother's house for Thanksgiving and she was giving away a bunch of my dead grandpa's stuff and I said "Granny what's this here?" And she said "That there's a nigger nocker and it's for nocking niggers. You want it?" I am now the proud owner of a Nigger Nocker™
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How much for the Nigger Knocker (tm)? Does it come with a certificate of authenticity?

Is it…well-used?
 
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