The Cole Smithey Thread

In Cole's case its clear he owes his mother and her family nothing. He has no legal, moral, or ethical obligations towards Barb or Chris, even if it does mean either or both of them end up dying homeless on the streets.
Cole doesn't owe Barb everything and was in the right to ignore her and Chris begging from him. I'll bet that it was Barb that told Chris that Cole had enough money to "piss and burn" in NYC while they were in debt. Her oldest child was the one she couldn't control and manipulate.
 
Barb isn't really a classy broad, she wants a man for the same reason any bottom feeder woman wants, to supplement her income. It's certainly not to get her fat, insane, crossdressing son's pickle up her china. Not that she probably has much of a sex drive at her current age anyway.

As for the past, Barb has a history that makes me think she's that easy, crazy girl that at first seems alright but then starts throwing plates and knives at you because you said the chicken was a bit dry, hence why the men come and then get out of there.

You'd be surprised how horny old women can get. They get positively predatory at retirement centers. Testosterone levels actually go up in elderly women, resulting in increased sex drive. They become a bit more like men (including things like facial hair). Men, however, prefer younger, fertile women, or at least women the same age. But men die off rapidly in old age. Women in retirement homes fight HARD over the small number of men there.

I don't find it completely beyond the realm of possibility that Barb was okay with it, even if she dismissed it at first. Bob was gone and Barb hadn't had any male attention outside of Chris in many years. And as you mentioned, Barb has a very checkered history with men.

Cole doesn't owe Barb everything and was in the right to ignore her and Chris begging from him. I'll bet that it was Barb that told Chris that Cole had enough money to "piss and burn" in NYC while they were in debt. Her oldest child was the one she couldn't control and manipulate.

To be fair, I'd be annoyed if I found out my brother was somehow rich enough to afford to live in "Carnigee Hall" but didn't want to help me just because he hated our parents. He'd have to be really rich to persuade the management to let him live there considering that it is a concert hall and not a residential facility.

(That said I'm surprised Cole can afford to live in the neighborhood of Carnegie Hill. Either he has rent stabilization or he bought a condo there at the absolute worst period of the crime epidemic in NYC around 1990. A mere film critic could never afford to move there now).
 
You'd be surprised how horny old women can get. They get positively predatory at retirement centers. Testosterone levels actually go up in elderly women, resulting in increased sex drive. They become a bit more like men (including things like facial hair). Men, however, prefer younger, fertile women, or at least women the same age. But men die off rapidly in old age. Women in retirement homes fight HARD over the small number of men there.

I don't find it completely beyond the realm of possibility that Barb was okay with it, even if she dismissed it at first. Bob was gone and Barb hadn't had any male attention outside of Chris in many years. And as you mentioned, Barb has a very checkered history with men.



To be fair, I'd be annoyed if I found out my brother was somehow rich enough to afford to live in "Carnigee Hall" but didn't want to help me just because he hated our parents. He'd have to be really rich to persuade the management to let him live there considering that it is a concert hall and not a residential facility.

(That said I'm surprised Cole can afford to live in the neighborhood of Carnegie Hill. Either he has rent stabilization or he bought a condo there at the absolute worst period of the crime epidemic in NYC around 1990. A mere film critic could never afford to move there now).
Isn't his wife the breadwinner?
 
She is incredibly senile, if not afflicted by some sort of dementia. Barb can't make good choices or consent.

It doesn't matter what she wanted, she's too senile to consent. Sometimes victims of terrible crimes can also be shitty people at the same time. Shocking.
Well duh. Just pointing out that what happened to her was the nearly inevitable result of shit she did for several decades to reinforce Chris's already existing psychosexual quirks and add new ones. It's not a matter of "deserves," it's a matter of she fucked up his head and deliberately did so, creating Chris's fucked up fixation on her and deliberately crippling him to keep him there.

Without her interference, he wouldn't even have been in that house any more.
Cole couldn't make it more obvious that he doesn't want to associate with his estranged family in any way. He owes them nothing, and he owes us even less. Leave the fucking guy alone.
Who's contacting him? The same weens who fuck with Chris who are more or less despised here?

His own public behavior would warrant him being a minor lolcow in his own right, from his sad, near-zero-view reviews while claiming to be the Smartest Critic in the World, to the astounding douchebaggery of selling time with himself to drink craft beers and listen to him pontificate about film, etc.

His main content would be the very occasional contrarian review just to fuck with some movie's perfect record (and occasionally he would be right like Lady Bird), but it's not like he doesn't have his own amusing features.
 
Well duh. Just pointing out that what happened to her was the nearly inevitable result of shit she did for several decades to reinforce Chris's already existing psychosexual quirks and add new ones. It's not a matter of "deserves," it's a matter of she fucked up his head and deliberately did so, creating Chris's fucked up fixation on her and deliberately crippling him to keep him there.

Without her interference, he wouldn't even have been in that house any more.
I dunno. Most auristics on Chris' level are still living with their parents. The other majority get their shit kicked in at assisted living facilities. I personally believe that Chris showed strange psychosexual tendencies independent of Barb's influence like stalking, exhibitionism, and autogynephilic transvesticism.
 
I personally believe that Chris showed strange psychosexual tendencies independent of Barb's influence like stalking, exhibitionism, and autogynephilic transvesticism.
That's why I said reinforce his existing quirks and add new ones, like when she forced him to spoon with her on pain of having his possessions smashed. That's basically forcing him to participate in quasi-sexual behavior with a threat of violence. It's not quite as bad as her threatening to commit suicide if they got rid of her hoard, but it's pretty bad.
 
You'd be surprised how horny old women can get. They get positively predatory at retirement centers. Testosterone levels actually go up in elderly women, resulting in increased sex drive. They become a bit more like men (including things like facial hair). Men, however, prefer younger, fertile women, or at least women the same age. But men die off rapidly in old age. Women in retirement homes fight HARD over the small number of men there.

I don't find it completely beyond the realm of possibility that Barb was okay with it, even if she dismissed it at first. Bob was gone and Barb hadn't had any male attention outside of Chris in many years. And as you mentioned, Barb has a very checkered history with men.

Well let's assume Barb is degenerate enough to entertain incest, she'd do it with Chris-Chan? As he is now? No way will I believe that one. Maybe if Chris looked like at least an 8/10 guy maybe but as he is? lol.

I mentioned her history with men not to show her as being a easy, I mentioned it for the exact opposite to show her doing it for money instead of horniness. She was just willing to trade sex for money and couldn't maintain a relationship or her finances.
 
Well let's assume Barb is degenerate enough to entertain incest, she'd do it with Chris-Chan? As he is now? No way will I believe that one. Maybe if Chris looked like at least an 8/10 guy maybe but as he is? lol.

I mentioned her history with men not to show her as being a easy, I mentioned it for the exact opposite to show her doing it for money instead of horniness. She was just willing to trade sex for money and couldn't maintain a relationship or her finances.

Nevertheless, I suspect she would be easy. Men who want to rob the grave usually have easy pickings. Spend enough time as a young-ish man in a retirement home and you have to peel dirty old ladies off of you. PL but can confirm very uncomfortable experiences while visiting grandpa. In addition I saw graverobbing men who looked very much like pre-troon Chris flirting it up.
 
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Nevertheless, I suspect she would be easy. Men who want to rob the grave usually have easy pickings. Spend enough time as a young-ish man in a retirement home and you have to peel dirty old ladies off of you. PL but can confirm very uncomfortable experiences while visiting grandpa. In addition I saw graverobbing men who looked very much like pre-troon Chris flirting it up.

My personal experience has been different, however the last time I was in a retirement home it was part of mandatory community service to earn my High School Diploma and I was 16 which might have been different if I were say 25.
 
Another fun fact..

Dementia can cause hypersexuality. Enjoy the horrifying images this may conjure. I only brought this up as she -may- have dementia now, and maybe experiencing ISB. <Inappropriate Sexual Behavior. Alzheimers and Dementia patients can get ISB/Hypersexuality badly>
 
Another fun fact..

Dementia can cause hypersexuality. Enjoy the horrifying images this may conjure. I only brought this up as she -may- have dementia now, and maybe experiencing ISB. <Inappropriate Sexual Behavior. Alzheimers and Dementia patients can get ISB/Hypersexuality badly>
I've kind of wondered if Chris didn't play into Barb's dementia and pretend to be Bob or some other past lover to make Barb go along with it.
 
Well duh. Just pointing out that what happened to her was the nearly inevitable result of shit she did for several decades to reinforce Chris's already existing psychosexual quirks and add new ones. It's not a matter of "deserves," it's a matter of she fucked up his head and deliberately did so, creating Chris's fucked up fixation on her and deliberately crippling him to keep him there.

Without her interference, he wouldn't even have been in that house any more.

Who's contacting him? The same weens who fuck with Chris who are more or less despised here?

His own public behavior would warrant him being a minor lolcow in his own right, from his sad, near-zero-view reviews while claiming to be the Smartest Critic in the World, to the astounding douchebaggery of selling time with himself to drink craft beers and listen to him pontificate about film, etc.

His main content would be the very occasional contrarian review just to fuck with some movie's perfect record (and occasionally he would be right like Lady Bird), but it's not like he doesn't have his own amusing features.

I don't know who, if anyone, is contacting Cole, but it has happened in the past since some people have this idea that it's OK to invade people's privacy if they're connected to a lolcow in some tangential way. I wouldn't be surprised if there are some who have been hounding Cole night and day for the past few months, trying to get him to comment on the current situation.

My post was more in response to the Kiwis who, since Chris' arrest, have been adamantly asserting that Cole has an obligation to insert himself into the situation or take Barb in. Some have even gone so far as to research if there are laws requiring Cole to help out. Some have even seemed upset that there's no legal obligation for Cole to help Barb out.
 
My post was more in response to the Kiwis who, since Chris' arrest, have been adamantly asserting that Cole has an obligation to insert himself into the situation or take Barb in. Some have even gone so far as to research if there are laws requiring Cole to help out. Some have even seemed upset that there's no legal obligation for Cole to help Barb out.
Technically, Virginia actually does have a filial responsibility law (Va. Code. Ann. § 20-88). It's just rarely if ever enforced. The only state known for enforcing such laws is Pennsylvania and they're currently considering repealing it. Also Cole is kind of a dick but it's entirely legal to be kind of a dick.
 
The guy is just living his life in NY and not hurting anyone.
Barb proved herself to be insane and doing whatever it took to control Chris and keep him a child forever. Remember when he tried to go to an anime con and she threatened to kill herself? Or how Chris and Bob didn't want to eat dinner when they moved back so Ruckersville so she swore never to cook for them again while still guilt tripping Chris about that incident over a decade later?
Imagine what she would have done to a kid that fought back with her and didn't give in to her demands. Cole mentioned he left her home when he was 17 and she chose Bob over him
Controversial take but I think Cole has possibly fabricated exaggerated many stories that involve Barboh oh granted, I still think Barb was a horrendous mother, extremely selfish, mean spirited, insane, abusive and manipulative and all round terrible indidvidual who parasitically leeches and abuses anyone she can clamp down in a relationship and sucks them dry to be her slave and drain money from. But some of the stories like When Bob had a gun and accidentally fired it nearly killing him, and weird shit about ‘beatings and ‘cold showers’ all sound incredibly hazy and unlikely. Remember as we say here all the time and even after recent events, Cole himself is a pretty Unlikable indidvidual too, a pretentious Film critic and narcissistic and untalented douchbag with delusions of grandeur almost as big as his half brothers. I mean it’s for more respectable goals but his similar egotism towards his family although he’d never admit to it is uncanny.

Back to the point, even though There’s no doubt Barb and Bob were almost certainly shitty and abusive Parents to him, hence why he’s had almost no interaction or attempt to connect even after 20 years and this years recent horrible events. I can’t help but feel Cole, through a combination of ego and slight manipulation, has somewhat bullshitted a lot of the stories he tells about being raised by the two. I’m not saying his hatred for them is unjustified, but the lengths that he talks about them beating him and lying and manipulating him constantly were probably exaggerated to make him sympathetic towards the public and his online persona and make him look even more like a victim to fuel his already massive ego.

Like the gun story from the 60s I’m almost sure is bullshit, Bob may have been a ‘bureaucratic fuck’ In Cole’s words but I doubt the man was a gun toting Confederate Flag,bible thumping Red state Texas stereotype like he pictures him to be. He did work in a respectable position in a factory job, served in the Korean War and was even cultured in a way with his massive record collection and attempts to educate his awful younger son on his amazing adventures around the world. The whole gun scenario seems so far fetched and out of character for Bob, he wasn’t a good parent either, he enabled so many of Chris’s delusions and was overall a close minded individual who was probably pretty cruel to Cole throughout his upbringing, but as been said countless times he was absolutely a better parent and person than Barb was and I just can’t picture him ever doing something so reckless.

Ultimately, I completely understand Cole wanting nothing to do with Barb as she clearly did enough emotional damage that there relationship can’t ever be repaired, and to acknowledge his literal Motherfucker Half-Brother after this event after his years of being a lolcow will definitely enter the floodgates for weens and trolls like never before. I can’t help but feel he Is a little bit of a douche for giving her the cold shoulder after his only living connection and mother has literally just been raped by his deranged brother and mind and body are literally rotting away to die. He doesn’t have to love her, he can even loathe her, but doing the right thing and perhaps making sure she’s safe and will never be harmed again after all she’s been through just seems like the right thing to do, be the better man. She is still his mother after all. It’s just seems cruel really.
 
Controversial take but I think Cole has possibly fabricated exaggerated many stories that involve Barboh oh granted, I still think Barb was a horrendous mother, extremely selfish, mean spirited, insane, abusive and manipulative and all round terrible indidvidual who parasitically leeches and abuses anyone she can clamp down in a relationship and sucks them dry to be her slave and drain money from. But some of the stories like When Bob had a gun and accidentally fired it nearly killing him, and weird shit about ‘beatings and ‘cold showers’ all sound incredibly hazy and unlikely. Remember as we say here all the time and even after recent events, Cole himself is a pretty Unlikable indidvidual too, a pretentious Film critic and narcissistic and untalented douchbag with delusions of grandeur almost as big as his half brothers. I mean it’s for more respectable goals but his similar egotism towards his family although he’d never admit to it is uncanny.

Back to the point, even though There’s no doubt Barb and Bob were almost certainly shitty and abusive Parents to him, hence why he’s had almost no interaction or attempt to connect even after 20 years and this years recent horrible events. I can’t help but feel Cole, through a combination of ego and slight manipulation, has somewhat bullshitted a lot of the stories he tells about being raised by the two. I’m not saying his hatred for them is unjustified, but the lengths that he talks about them beating him and lying and manipulating him constantly were probably exaggerated to make him sympathetic towards the public and his online persona and make him look even more like a victim to fuel his already massive ego.

Like the gun story from the 60s I’m almost sure is bullshit, Bob may have been a ‘bureaucratic fuck’ In Cole’s words but I doubt the man was a gun toting Confederate Flag,bible thumping Red state Texas stereotype like he pictures him to be. He did work in a respectable position in a factory job, served in the Korean War and was even cultured in a way with his massive record collection and attempts to educate his awful younger son on his amazing adventures around the world. The whole gun scenario seems so far fetched and out of character for Bob, he wasn’t a good parent either, he enabled so many of Chris’s delusions and was overall a close minded individual who was probably pretty cruel to Cole throughout his upbringing, but as been said countless times he was absolutely a better parent and person than Barb was and I just can’t picture him ever doing something so reckless.

Ultimately, I completely understand Cole wanting nothing to do with Barb as she clearly did enough emotional damage that there relationship can’t ever be repaired, and to acknowledge his literal Motherfucker Half-Brother after this event after his years of being a lolcow will definitely enter the floodgates for weens and trolls like never before. I can’t help but feel he Is a little bit of a douche for giving her the cold shoulder after his only living connection and mother has literally just been raped by his deranged brother and mind and body are literally rotting away to die. He doesn’t have to love her, he can even loathe her, but doing the right thing and perhaps making sure she’s safe and will never be harmed again after all she’s been through just seems like the right thing to do, be the better man. She is still his mother after all. It’s just seems cruel really.

There’s also the other family members in Red Oak that hate her just as much. Why is no one bothering them or badgering them to take care of Barb out of obligation?
 
Controversial take but I think Cole has possibly fabricated exaggerated many stories that involve Barboh oh granted, I still think Barb was a horrendous mother, extremely selfish, mean spirited, insane, abusive and manipulative and all round terrible indidvidual who parasitically leeches and abuses anyone she can clamp down in a relationship and sucks them dry to be her slave and drain money from. But some of the stories like When Bob had a gun and accidentally fired it nearly killing him, and weird shit about ‘beatings and ‘cold showers’ all sound incredibly hazy and unlikely. Remember as we say here all the time and even after recent events, Cole himself is a pretty Unlikable indidvidual too, a pretentious Film critic and narcissistic and untalented douchbag with delusions of grandeur almost as big as his half brothers. I mean it’s for more respectable goals but his similar egotism towards his family although he’d never admit to it is uncanny.

Back to the point, even though There’s no doubt Barb and Bob were almost certainly shitty and abusive Parents to him, hence why he’s had almost no interaction or attempt to connect even after 20 years and this years recent horrible events. I can’t help but feel Cole, through a combination of ego and slight manipulation, has somewhat bullshitted a lot of the stories he tells about being raised by the two. I’m not saying his hatred for them is unjustified, but the lengths that he talks about them beating him and lying and manipulating him constantly were probably exaggerated to make him sympathetic towards the public and his online persona and make him look even more like a victim to fuel his already massive ego.

Like the gun story from the 60s I’m almost sure is bullshit, Bob may have been a ‘bureaucratic fuck’ In Cole’s words but I doubt the man was a gun toting Confederate Flag,bible thumping Red state Texas stereotype like he pictures him to be. He did work in a respectable position in a factory job, served in the Korean War and was even cultured in a way with his massive record collection and attempts to educate his awful younger son on his amazing adventures around the world. The whole gun scenario seems so far fetched and out of character for Bob, he wasn’t a good parent either, he enabled so many of Chris’s delusions and was overall a close minded individual who was probably pretty cruel to Cole throughout his upbringing, but as been said countless times he was absolutely a better parent and person than Barb was and I just can’t picture him ever doing something so reckless.

Ultimately, I completely understand Cole wanting nothing to do with Barb as she clearly did enough emotional damage that there relationship can’t ever be repaired, and to acknowledge his literal Motherfucker Half-Brother after this event after his years of being a lolcow will definitely enter the floodgates for weens and trolls like never before. I can’t help but feel he Is a little bit of a douche for giving her the cold shoulder after his only living connection and mother has literally just been raped by his deranged brother and mind and body are literally rotting away to die. He doesn’t have to love her, he can even loathe her, but doing the right thing and perhaps making sure she’s safe and will never be harmed again after all she’s been through just seems like the right thing to do, be the better man. She is still his mother after all. It’s just seems cruel really.

Bob and Barb didn't meet until the very late 70s or early 80s. It's unknown exactly how long they were together before having Chris. They had both been married to other people previously.

And I don't find any of Cole's recollections of his youth to be outlandish or far-fetched at all. Cold showers are a common "punishment" for kids with abusive parents, especially abusive mothers.
 
Wasn’t Barb the one being an idiot with a firearm? The cwiki is down so I can’t check.
 
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