DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Watamelon]

I know a lot of people who like to listen to Podcasts in their car. Well, what better way to keep your morning commute (only a sucker works a 9-to-5 job) entertaining than listen to a 40 year old man complain about bills while asking you to pay for them, pigsplain Cyber Monday, complain about bills some more while still asking you to pay for them, and snort in the mic? Sounds like a great way to fall asleep at the wheel and crash into a tree.

You just convinced me man, I'm gonna swap my Ancient History podcast with the Polish Pig one.

Why learn about old Egypt and their irrigation methods narrated by someone with great voice and decent equipment when I can listen to 2003 Kazaa mp3 quality burps and snorts!

It's impressive how Phil manages to be awful at so many things at the same time.

 

[Paladin Derich]

As the walls close in, the troon saga draws closer.

"Hey Phil longtime fan since the early youtube days, have you considered going transgender for more tips? Wigs are pretty cheap on Amazon."

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

You just convinced me man, I'm gonna swap my Ancient History podcast with the Polish Pig one.

Why learn about old Egypt and their irrigation methods narrated by someone with great voice and decent equipment when I can listen to 2003 Kazaa mp3 quality burps and snorts!

It's impressive how Phil manages to be awful at so many things at the same time.

Watch out! With the frequency of the snorts you'll think that there's something wrong with your car. Or even worse there could be something wrong with your car and you'd never know it because you thought it was just Phil snorting.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

You just know Phil has spent a majority of time today looking up Metroid strategies.

Oh yeah but I'm still puttin my chips on the playthrough being classic DSP entertaining. He can look up strategies all he wants but the only good handholding can do is boss patterns(which still require the execution). This game compared to other 2D Metroids requires even more finger fuckery because it makes you use practically every button on the controller.

If it ends up being gay then whatever, it's better than watching him play open world sandbox shitter games he has replayed a bunch before and the good ol JRPG game, Judgement.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

As the walls close in, the troon saga draws closer.

"Hey Phil longtime fan since the early youtube days, have you considered going transgender for more tips? Wigs are pretty cheap on Amazon."

I would normally say that this is one of the most retarded things you could write, but we live in a timeline where we have tranny Jim Sterling so I'll just say massive . Not saying it wouldn't be entertaining though.

 

[One Guy Online]

Can confirm, I pray for the day he finally puts me to sleep and I glide into oncoming traffic

If my podcast causes oncoming collisions, please make sure to have me listed as a beneficiary on your insurance plans. I have a lot of bills coming due and Youtube won't pay me for another month. It's been a pretty slow night. If it weren't for the $70 I've already received in tips I'd have $0 tips today. I also haven't worn the vest in weeks. If you give me your insurance money, I'll think about wearing a blood splattered vest in your honor. Also please use your dying breath to become a member to my channel. You can set the account to auto-renew those memberships so we can hit our Tier 2 goal of me eating on camera. Plus you'll get to vote on what games I get to choose to play in my next marathon!

 

[Lilly Philly Burnelli]

As the walls close in, the troon saga draws closer.

"Hey Phil longtime fan since the early youtube days, have you considered going transgender for more tips? Wigs are pretty cheap on Amazon."

I guarantee you he would do it if it meant he would get recognition. "Hullo everyone, I've got an important announcement. Umm, first of all, I haven't been happy for a long time, so I decided I would be much happier being a girl. Ummm, ever since I was young, I looked romantically at WWE men. My name has been rebranded as DarkSydePenelope, ummm—look, people in the chat are going crazy khkhkhkhkhk, what is going on?" *Smugs*

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

I guarantee you he would do it if it meant he would get recognition. "Hullo everyone, I've got an important announcement. Umm, first of all, I haven't been happy for a long time, so I decided I would be much happier being a girl. Ummm, ever since I was young, I looked romantically at WWE men. My name has been rebranded as DarkSydePenelope, ummm—look, people in the chat are going crazy khkhkhkhkhk, what is going on?" *Smugs*

Phil is way too scared of the LGBT boogeyman to ever do that shit, even if it meant a payday.

 

[Prophet Gaming]

Is anyone re-streaming this sack of shit today or am I gonna have to give this gout ridden retard a view?

 

[00R-Gundam]

Has there ever been a point where he has reached the member/subs goal organically?

 

[troll cult member]

Is anyone re-streaming this sack of shit today or am I gonna have to give this gout ridden retard a view?

Almighty Frogga and Piece of Peace usually do commentary restreams, Frogga is live now. You could go always go to DDM, but god's light doesn't reach there

 

[SomeoneLikeMYFATHER]

As the walls close in, the troon saga draws closer.

"Hey Phil longtime fan since the early youtube days, have you considered going transgender for more tips? Wigs are pretty cheap on Amazon."

Got a good chuckle from this just cause I can see a timeline where Phil uses wigs as a new incentive to tip.

 

[NursezillaX]

Why aren’t you a member? What are you waiting for? You can have a highlighted name in chat, *smacks lips*, ok? No slow mode, right, ok? You get to ask me questions on Ask the King.

Remember the Patreon perks and how that just fizzled away btw? Lmao

Anybody aware of his Patreon history, the last thing he pitched as having 'perks', and his complete inability and lack of interest in providing them consistently, or sometimes even at all, would know what a waste paying for a membership would be.

Edit:

What is up with this dude and the internal narrative he's convinced himself is real life? He pretty clearly is aware that he has a hard time reaching membership goals because somebody is not just gifting sibs left and right, which means that if someone becomes a member now, they have to actually put their own money down to actively support and endorse him. Pretty big admission of failure, even though that's not what he's coming right out and saying, but the implication is clear.

Then, in defense of criticism that gifted memberships are artificial growth, he has some bizarre scenario where it's not REALLY artificial because a lot of those people that were gifted subs got to see what it was all about and would "have their eyes opened and say, 'WOW, I like this, there's a lot of great benefits to being a subscriber to this channel!', and then they'd renew their sub, so it was almost like a free trial!". This is like the other frequently cited individual he always mentions who hears all the negative shit about him but then stops by his stream and is floored by how positive it is and how unfairly maligned his reputation has been. Wtf is he talking about lol. His sub count would drop like a rock every time the previous month's gifted subs would expire! I honestly don't know what the worse option is between him purposely just straight-out lying or actually believing this shit.

 

[Organized Derailment]

Has there ever been a point where he has reached the member/subs goal organically?

Not really. Whenever a big member goal is reached it's usually due to lots of begging, hinting and all around shameless behaviour.

 

[San Dimas High School]

I guarantee you he would do it if it meant he would get recognition. "Hullo everyone, I've got an important announcement. Umm, first of all, I haven't been happy for a long time, so I decided I would be much happier being a girl. Ummm, ever since I was young, I looked romantically at WWE men. My name has been rebranded as DarkSydePenelope, ummm—look, people in the chat are going crazy khkhkhkhkhk, what is going on?" *Smugs*

It's cute that you think the guy who can't be bothered to shave or change out of his pajamas more often than not, who couldn't think of a "reward" for a 1k donation so he said he got a cat a year ago, who can't decorate his office for shit so he puts up empty boxes would go through the effort to cut off his ding-dong and wear make up.

 

[kebab4you]

Is it gonna be multiplayer that's the new sub goal?
Nope a fucking retrospective

 

[Prophet Gaming]

Good, we can not re-watch the jerkoff stream and have him talk about it live, or watch the Twitter baby tantrum.

 

[SomeoneLikeMYFATHER]

Why does Phil call Forza (Fortza)?? It’s supposed to be pronounced how it appears, it’s not Italian. Dude thinks he’s in an Olive Garden.

 

[LiquidCancer]

digging in his ear like crazy while he explains how its very important to become a youtube member

 

[snort inquisition]

so in the same segment he says that he didn't make any money off his videos that he didn't turn the music off for the games, and then goes on to say it doesn't matter because he doesn't make any money from ads anyway, then says actually it's christmas time so ad revenue is higher and wow i'm not making any money on youtube

lmao