Incel and Lonely Men Debate thread - Defend men giving up or tell them otherwise

[DavidS877]

I dunno, maybe that's enough for some. But to me it'd all ring hollow, because you know it's not real.

So, just like most real relationships then.

 

[Felis Meanis]

What were experiencing right now is a crysis

But can the incels run it?

 

[Abdul Alhazred]

Personally I'm pretty done with women and dating just in general, and not because I want a mommy or any of that pathetic bullshit. I lift, I eat well, I try my best to make good conversation, I'm not abhorrently ugly or skinny or any of it. Women just are so narcissistic and unrewarding to talk to its just soulcrushing. I used to dismiss incels myself, thinking, "Well they just aren't trying enough, there's definitely good women out there.", and there probably are a very rare few women who I would actually enjoy dating and wouldn't shaft me but at what point do you stop punishing yourself? I've always put in legwork to start conversation, to try and get to know the woman I'm talking to, and they're just never interested or just completely hedonistic with nothing interesting funny or tolerable to say. I'm very upset about the state of things but I refuse to make myself look like a fool any longer. Any advice or anything of the sort would be appreciated, I know I'm not alone in this.

 

[Dreamer]

Any advice or anything of the sort would be appreciated, I know I'm not alone in this.

Don't generalize things so much, thinking this way leads to dark places.
It would be more useful for you to look at women as many different groups, instead of just one.
If you're running into women who are narcissistic it might be because you're consistently going for that type of woman, you could try your luck with someone else, a different type if you will.
For an instance if you look for women on tinder you're predominately going to find the type that uses tinder, which is usually not good.
Go to a social event or something, maybe something that interests you but you never tried before, strike a few conversations there, fuck around and see what happens. Just try to go there to have fun first and find chicks second.

Or don't. Use that time to develop yourself as a person. Pressure to be in a relationship is usually a good deterrent for relationships. Man i feel like Sam hyde, shit.

 

[A Pale Shadow]

Personally I'm pretty done with women and dating just in general, and not because I want a mommy or any of that pathetic bullshit. I lift, I eat well, I try my best to make good conversation, I'm not abhorrently ugly or skinny or any of it. Women just are so narcissistic and unrewarding to talk to its just soulcrushing. I used to dismiss incels myself, thinking, "Well they just aren't trying enough, there's definitely good women out there.", and there probably are a very rare few women who I would actually enjoy dating and wouldn't shaft me but at what point do you stop punishing yourself? I've always put in legwork to start conversation, to try and get to know the woman I'm talking to, and they're just never interested or just completely hedonistic with nothing interesting funny or tolerable to say. I'm very upset about the state of things but I refuse to make myself look like a fool any longer. Any advice or anything of the sort would be appreciated, I know I'm not alone in this.

Probably going to come across as kind of a non-answer, but this may depend on heavily on where you live. Have you ever moved any significant distance in your life? You'd be amazed how big a difference local culture can make. This may just be me talking out my ass, but in my experience women (and men as well) in urban areas tend to be very hedonistic as you said and just self centered in general. The urban bubble does weird things to people.

Now I'm not going to say that rural living is some promised land or anything, it comes with its own host of issues. But I'd take it over city women.

 

[Ser Prize]

Probably going to come across as kind of a non-answer, but this may depend on heavily on where you live. Have you ever moved any significant distance in your life? You'd be amazed how big a difference local culture can make. This may just be me talking out my ass, but in my experience women (and men as well) in urban areas tend to be very hedonistic as you said and just self centered in general. The urban bubble does weird things to people.

Now I'm not going to say that rural living is some promised land or anything, it comes with its own host of issues. But I'd take it over city women.

Rural women are just as hedonistic, in my lived experience.

 

[Spooky Doot Skelly]

Idk man.We're in a site literally dedicated to making fun of "people who are maladapted and suffers from various mental disorders" a.k.a lolcows.
How many lolcows do you know that do get laid? I can count three from my head,including Lowtax,Jim Sterling,and DSP.If those people can get laid despite having something wrong with their head and generally depraved intersocial relationships i don't know how crazy you need to be to be an incel

It’s the opposite. Lolcows’ maladaptive behavior has become so extreme that they are able to differentiate themselves and find partners. Pretty much every lolcow on here has either had sex or has had the opportunity to have sex.
Incels are certainly maladaptive, but not enough to be easily recognizable; they’re stuck in an uncanny valley-esque state where they are awkward such that normal people are turned off, but not awkward enough to truly stand out amongst said normal people.
This is why, ironically, incel shooters get the most female attention AFTER they do fucked up shit.

Personally I'm pretty done with women and dating just in general, and not because I want a mommy or any of that pathetic bullshit. I lift, I eat well, I try my best to make good conversation, I'm not abhorrently ugly or skinny or any of it. Women just are so narcissistic and unrewarding to talk to its just soulcrushing. I used to dismiss incels myself, thinking, "Well they just aren't trying enough, there's definitely good women out there.", and there probably are a very rare few women who I would actually enjoy dating and wouldn't shaft me but at what point do you stop punishing yourself? I've always put in legwork to start conversation, to try and get to know the woman I'm talking to, and they're just never interested or just completely hedonistic with nothing interesting funny or tolerable to say. I'm very upset about the state of things but I refuse to make myself look like a fool any longer. Any advice or anything of the sort would be appreciated, I know I'm not alone in this.

Stop using dating apps. The type of woman you meet on there will inevitably disappoint you. The only way to meet girls who are worth dating is through mutual friends and/or hobbies. It’s increasingly difficult (especially if your local area has been shut down due to rona) but not impossible. However it does take significant effort and time, which could be better spent elsewhere in lots of cases.

 

[Mr Snek]

Rural women are just as hedonistic, in my lived experience.

Yeah the idea of rural life being some perfect paradise safe from modern hedonism is terrible advice. Most rural areas have terrible drug problems, gangs and single parent households same as the city, it's just spread out more. A bit of a powerlevel, but I grew up in a remote rural area and one of the only times I've had a woman approach me and directly ask for sex I was 16 and she was the 40 year old, meth addicted, leather skinned single mother of one of my classmates. And she was not a unique case.

 

[Never Scored]

I've always put in legwork to start conversation, to try and get to know the woman I'm talking to, and they're just never interested or just completely hedonistic with nothing interesting funny or tolerable to say. I'm very upset about the state of things but I refuse to make myself look like a fool any longer. Any advice or anything of the sort would be appreciated, I know I'm not alone in this.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're probably coming off as a sperg and not that good at flirting. If a woman is interested she will make everything easy for you.

Like, I do not lift or eat well and I do not have these problems.

 

[Abdul Alhazred]

Probably going to come across as kind of a non-answer, but this may depend on heavily on where you live. Have you ever moved any significant distance in your life? You'd be amazed how big a difference local culture can make. This may just be me talking out my ass, but in my experience women (and men as well) in urban areas tend to be very hedonistic as you said and just self centered in general. The urban bubble does weird things to people.

Now I'm not going to say that rural living is some promised land or anything, it comes with its own host of issues. But I'd take it over city women.

I do live in an urban area, yeah.

 

[unsafe]

I think nobody is going to have zero dating options unless they have a truly repulsive personality.

Sure, things like weight and status and overall attractiveness can make your dating pool smaller no matter your gender, but in the end, if you're a fun person to be around, you should be able to find someone.

I think the main problem with incels/femcels is their sense of entitlement and repugnant personalities. If they got a reality check and possibly sought out therapy, it's not hopeless for anyone. Even the people on my 600-lb life usually have a spouse or partner.

 

[Spooky Doot Skelly]

I think nobody is going to have zero dating options unless they have a truly repulsive personality.

Sure, things like weight and status and overall attractiveness can make your dating pool smaller no matter your gender, but in the end, if you're a fun person to be around, you should be able to find someone.

I think the main problem with incels/femcels is their sense of entitlement and repugnant personalities. If they got a reality check and possibly sought out therapy, it's not hopeless for anyone. Even the people on my 600-lb life usually have a spouse or partner.

What you’re not mentioning is that “pool” is filled with people not worth dating if you are extremely ugly/low status.

 

[cybertoaster]

Right now I have too much stuff to deal with in my life to add dating to it, shit was easier when I was younger and had few problems.

Meanwhile a lot of my 30yo boomer friends are what you could call mgtow except they dont belong to that gay-ass community or even know the term but are basically doing the mgtow says: dont marry, dont go into long-term relationships, fuck around and thats it. Its becoming really common.

Yeah the idea of rural life being some perfect paradise safe from modern hedonism is terrible advice. Most rural areas have terrible drug problems, gangs and single parent households same as the city, it's just spread out more. A bit of a powerlevel, but I grew up in a remote rural area and one of the only times I've had a woman approach me and directly ask for sex I was 16 and she was the 40 year old, meth addicted, leather skinned single mother of one of my classmates. And she was not a unique case.

Last time I was in a rural area the chicks were 6/10 at best and all with kids despite being in their early 20s

 

[Nikes_JustDoIt]

Meanwhile a lot of my 30yo boomer friends are what you could call mgtow except they dont belong to that gay-ass community or even know the term but are basically doing the mgtow says: dont marry, dont go into long-term relationships, fuck around and thats it. Its becoming really common.

I know I will be late on this, but does MGTOW believe this? Do not have fulfillment relationships; go after cheap thrills with women who ruin your life and terrible women you do not match.

 

[cybertoaster]

I know I will be late on this, but does MGTOW believe this? Do not have fulfillment relationships; go after cheap thrills with women who ruin your life and terrible women you do not match.

I would say avoiding marriage its what keeps those women from ruining their lives.

They can't divorce you if you arent married or going long-term which some jurisdictions consider a default marriage meaning she can get a lawyer and fuck you up.

 

[DavidS877]

I know I will be late on this, but does MGTOW believe this? Do not have fulfillment relationships; go after cheap thrills with women who ruin your life and terrible women you do not match.

Or, you know, don't go into even short term relationships. It's called 'your own way' for a reason.

The only consistent themes are no marriage, no cohabitation, no long term relationships.

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Said it before, but FOB women are the ONLY valid option these days for competent men with their shit together.

Why would you, as a man, do everything you need to do in order to be saleable in the SMP, when 99.9% of white women are shit tier, both in body and mind? Makes no sense to me.

If you don't lift or have your shit together, however, you should probably just retire your Johnson indefinitely.

 

[Johan Schmidt]

It’s the opposite. Lolcows’ maladaptive behavior has become so extreme that they are able to differentiate themselves and find partners. Pretty much every lolcow on here has either had sex or has had the opportunity to have sex.
Incels are certainly maladaptive, but not enough to be easily recognizable; they’re stuck in an uncanny valley-esque state where they are awkward such that normal people are turned off, but not awkward enough to truly stand out amongst said normal people.
This is why, ironically, incel shooters get the most female attention AFTER they do fucked up shit.


Stop using dating apps. The type of woman you meet on there will inevitably disappoint you. The only way to meet girls who are worth dating is through mutual friends and/or hobbies. It’s increasingly difficult (especially if your local area has been shut down due to rona) but not impossible. However it does take significant effort and time, which could be better spent elsewhere in lots of cases.

Speaking of incels being maladaptive. I feel it's important to note that them not fucking is not the maladaption, neither is them being ugly, or not good with women.

It's about reproduction, you can not have children and still be reproductive, it happens all the time in nature, and it probably happened with the pre-monogamous human tribes that we get the ~40% of men bred figure from. If you help your brother raise his kids, you are being reproductive. You can even do a real simple calculation to show it. The cost of helping your brother/sister raise siblings in an extended family group will typically be lower than the benefit (amount of children your brother/sister will have) you gain from doing so. If you were never going to have children at all, and without you, your brother would only have two rather than the six he could have with you helping, then you are being reproductive by helping your sibling raise children.

Incels have this idea that all of human reproductive history was Chad Thundercock cucking everyone. The reality was probably Chad Thundercock having 1-3 women through his life (sometimes at once), and doing his dammed best to keep everyone around him alive, while his less successful family members helped care for the children. Incels seem to be literally incapable of engaging in basic co-operative/caring behaviour in the reproductive sense. They're just intensely spiteful.

 

[Kahr CW9]

Yeah the idea of rural life being some perfect paradise safe from modern hedonism is terrible advice. Most rural areas have terrible drug problems, gangs and single parent households same as the city, it's just spread out more. A bit of a powerlevel, but I grew up in a remote rural area and one of the only times I've had a woman approach me and directly ask for sex I was 16 and she was the 40 year old, meth addicted, leather skinned single mother of one of my classmates. And she was not a unique case.

I like that term, lived experience. In my lived experience this rings true, and offers a slightly different set of opportunities when compared to urban or suburban locales. In other words, where I live 99% of women (literally) fit into two molds- Normal chicks who got knocked up early, or married and knocked up early, and currently have a stable home life with a husband or babydaddy, or second string betacuck. Then there's the Abnormal chicks who are really dreadfully bad. Drugs, multiple babydaddies, or a throwaway idiot who let a loser (not even Chad) dump a load and bailed. We're talking mid-thirties, single mom, no life besides cheap beer and overtime at Dollar General because she was never going to be good enough to snag a man, any man, with the albatross of a child around her neck,

Not to say that can't be found in a city, but there's so many more people in a city, that if there's 1% of women who are not one of the two above (married or trash) it will amount to concretely more women than the 3 or 4 in my podunk city. The biggest problem being an incel in a rural area is that you're an incel because 100% of the chicks who might be into you got married already. May God have mercy on your soul if you are a transplant.

E: Move to a county with less than 15k people, you'll find that the biggest proportion of chicks without babydaddies are highschoolers. Even then most of them are working on rectifying that situation

 

[High-Fructose Corn Syrup]

the supreme court is about to give incels something to crow over.