Steve1989MREInfo / Steve1989 / Steve Thomas - that guy that eats old MREs

[Sweet and Savoury]

EDIT: Never mind, I see you are from Moldova. I've heard stories about the military food conditions. I hope God has healed you from the horrors.

Askshully...

I'm Canadian. The Moldova thing is a very old and very not funny Chris anecdote/joke.

But your statement is still valid. You Yanks might have had decent food but anytime I was down in the States with the crayon eaters it was only slightly better then our food. And our food was horrendous. Cat shit sausages as far as the eye could see...

 

[Lady Reines]

Askshully...

I'm Canadian. The Moldova thing is a very old and very not funny Chris anecdote/joke.

But your statement is still valid. You Yanks might have had decent food but anytime I was down in the States with the crayon eaters it was only slightly better then our food. And our food was horrendous. Cat shit sausages as far as the eye could see...

Well, this is embarrassing.

I didn't serve the Yanks though, I just know plenty of Yankveteranos from steam/games in general. Americans don't have conscription and my conscription/"moral obligation" was profoundly against my will lmao. I would have done more time voluntarily if we had custom omelet days.

Honestly, it can't be worse than green-pea sausages.

Oh, and the bread. You could have any bread you want! As long as it was rye and harder than a priest's dick during choir practice.

 

[PeggieBigCock]

I want a show where Steve goes around the world, eating at military mess halls to find who has the best meals versus who has the worst.

It starts off decently sensible.

View attachment 2689916

Steve starts the first part of the episode with the officers. Let's say for the first episode, we send him to Kaliningrad, Russia. Letting him eat and greet with some Black Fleet Admirals. Get the good stuff. Then we instantly transfer him to some desolate, conscript-dominant hell-scape of a duty station. On the bus there, he gets a ration/MRE to tide him by. Each episode starts with the best, derails into a proper MRE review that makes the bulk of the episode itself and the series' content, then ends with either a fulfillment of how bad the mess hall is or subvert expectations with it being decent.

Give him a mercy episode at the occasional US Air Force base where he gets to come by for the lowest and highest rated foods, as determined by the airmen. Then just say "fuck it", send Steve to singlehandedly unfuck the diplomatic mess between the world and North Korea.

Will Steve bring peace to the heart of the Supreme Leader? Or will he vomit during the Syrup and Tree Bark day? Can Steve survive the Ketchup-Rice JSDF course in time for the South Korean field kitchen special?

100% my autistic ramblings, here. As much as I enjoy his content and how efficient it is, I wouldn't mind a military-food-centric show whatsoever with some wholesome content. Thinking back to when Gordon Ramsay cooked for some Royal Marines and he was just saddened by the state of their diet (honestly, more than standard and passable for military grub). He also had a solid formation run with them and wasn't even last. Good shit.

This is your most readable and interesting TLRD wall text post since you started posting, 5 ️s, I would actually love if he made a channel like that.

 

[stupidpieceofshit]

than green-pea sausages

I wish Knorr still made Erbswurst, I wanted to try it at least once.

 

[Lady Reines]

I wish Knorr still made Erbswurst, I wanted to try it at least once.

It is the ultimate sausage gacha. It is either the best thing or the worst thing, never in-between. Occasionally you find something excellent that has a bit of a parmesan in it as well with some ersatz risotto on the side.

Worth trying to make yourself, tbh. The biggest investment is just the sausage maker. And honestly, once you get that, you pretty much frankenstein a lot of absurd things together. Just don't defy god entirely and start grinding up fast food burgers and converting them into sausages, like some truly evil, wicked people on youtube are doing currently.

 

[Meiwaku]

Just don't defy god entirely and start grinding up fast food burgers and converting them into sausages, like some truly evil, wicked people on youtube are doing currently.

Don't you dare take the lord's name in vain

 

[Lady Reines]

Don't you dare take the lord's name in vain

You will be boiled and then baked soon, alhamdulillah

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

Askshully...

I'm Canadian. The Moldova thing is a very old and very not funny Chris anecdote/joke.

But your statement is still valid. You Yanks might have had decent food but anytime I was down in the States with the crayon eaters it was only slightly better then our food. And our food was horrendous. Cat shit sausages as far as the eye could see...

U.S. military rations run the gamut from 'surprisingly good' to 'what the fuck were they thinking'.

Part of the reason that MREs caught so much hell initially was because when they were first rolled out, there were only four options. Imagine having to eat the same four meals for any extended deployment.

Second, despite all our advances there's only so much you can do to make shelf-stabilized food-in-a-bag edible. Some things just don't work, and you only find out after you've opened it. Also, this is food that, in theory, you can eat cold -- you don't have to use the flameless heater (though I can't imagine trying to eat some of this stuff without heating it).

That being said, yes, you can eat it all cold. You don't need a stove, or fuel tabs, or bullshit like that. Just a little water to activate the FRH and you're in business if you want to heat it.

 

[The golden neckbeard]

He ought to go find a frozen mammoth from the Pleistocene and eat it.

Mammoth Meat

Radiocarbon-dated to 19,551 years old! Above: Front of Specimen Card "Various legends exist about frozen mammoths. It has been said that the scientists who excavated the Beresovka mammoth, discovered in the year 1900, enjoyed a banquet on mammoth steak. What really appears to have happened is...

shop.minimuseum.com

dunno if legit but frozen mammoth is plentiful in Russia. who wants to buy and donate it to him?

 

[PeggieBigCock]

Mammoth Meat

Radiocarbon-dated to 19,551 years old! Above: Front of Specimen Card "Various legends exist about frozen mammoths. It has been said that the scientists who excavated the Beresovka mammoth, discovered in the year 1900, enjoyed a banquet on mammoth steak. What really appears to have happened is...

shop.minimuseum.com

dunno if legit but frozen mammoth is plentiful in Russia. who wants to buy and donate it to him?

You think he’d whip out the microscope or just YOLO it like usual

 

[Kromer Merchant]

Found this in one of the Kyle celebration threads of all places:

 

[Polyboros2]

What do you think boys, are we going to get last year's freeze dried Thanksgiving one year later taste test?

 

[AnOminous]

What do you think boys, are we going to get last year's freeze dried Thanksgiving one year later taste test?

I think he's a man of his word.

 

[Aunt Carol]

What do you think boys, are we going to get last year's freeze dried Thanksgiving one year later taste test?

I think he's a man of his word.

I think that, with what we know about Steve, he's off having Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving and will post a finished video with the one-year taste test after a reasonable amount of time for production and editing.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

If we're speaking on military food, Israeli food hall is decent minus, really depends how much of a fuck the cooks gave that day and the quality in the officer's table is only slightly better. Usually basic stuff like pasta in tomato sauce, sausages and stir fried vegetables and meat. Probably the most interesting thing is that Lunch is meat dishes only without cheese, and dinner and breakfast is light meal with cheese and no meat (from memory eggs, cheese, yogurt and bread in both). Deserts in all three don't contain milk.

Reserve training just has sandwiches, fruits and tons of snacks.

Though by the end of my service I just went to the camp canteen and bought a Shnitzel in a baguette for lunch and ordering from outside shawarma.

 

[Consider Lizärds]

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Let Grandpa reminisce a bit here

I remember once when I was "working" in Rwanda we were at a compound we shared with some Greek infantry types. At the time we had the bog standard IMP's and by this time, 4 weeks in give or take, all of us were sick to death of the pain burgers.

So along comes this Greek unit, also pulling some UN duty and their logistics were so fucked that they were just issued shit straight from the supermarkets. Literally cans of shit you could buy off the shelf. The smell of them heating up their meals was torture for us. They had all that awesome food stuffs and we were eating SoS. And all they did was bitch that it was the same old shit they ate at home.

Some peoples kids I tell you.

 

[Polyboros2]

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

[Generic Retard]

View attachment 2785283

REEEEEEEEEEEEE

Steve Mrestaine

 

[AnOminous]

Let Grandpa reminisce a bit here

I remember once when I was "working" in Rwanda we were at a compound we shared with some Greek infantry types. At the time we had the bog standard IMP's and by this time, 4 weeks in give or take, all of us were sick to death of the pain burgers.

So along comes this Greek unit, also pulling some UN duty and their logistics were so fucked that they were just issued shit straight from the supermarkets. Literally cans of shit you could buy off the shelf. The smell of them heating up their meals was torture for us. They had all that awesome food stuffs and we were eating SoS. And all they did was bitch that it was the same old shit they ate at home.

Some peoples kids I tell you.

Serves you right for being Canadian.