Listen, so I was out in Arkansas the other night. You know, spend some time in the local clubs and came to talking with this cute girl. Nothing strange about that, you know, just a girl, there’s lots of those! But get this: she asked me ‘do you know steven boogie2988 Williams the youtuber?’ By god, I was taken aback! Steven Williams, of course I knew him. So I said ‘Steven Williams? Of course I know him. The mr Rodgers of youtube!’ ‘That’s him!’ She replied. ‘He’s here now, selling dogs!’
I was flabbergasted, selling dogs? Wasn’t he a youtuber? Why would he be selling dogs? So I says to her, I says: ‘woman, lead me to Steven Williams at once! I must see these dogs of his!’ So she starts leading me through the streets and unbeknownst to her, I am getting very giddy. It’s long been a dream of mine to have a specially bred dog by boogie2988, I never told anyone, but it’s the truth. Anyhow, we finally reach this shady place, you know flies flying around, dust and spiders everywhere, cracks in the walls- the whole place was a mess. I walk in and it’s non other than Steven himself. I was amazed, because his native american heritage was really showing you know. Bright red in the face, never seen anything like it before. It even made me reflect on Americas past misdeeds, but that’s besides the point. Getting to the point: I introduced myself to him and he was very friendly, he started the conversation with how he was fat, he made a joke about that, and that he really wasn’t as bad as people thought he was. Personally I don’t know much about these people who don’t like him, but I believed him for his word. In the corner there was also someone who I mistook for his daughter, from his marriage with dez. She had the long blond hair and everything, every highschool kids dream you know. So I get to start talking business now. I ask him ‘so what about the dogs?’ He tells me he has bad news, I ask him, ‘well what is it?’ He tells me he has only two dogs left. I start laughing, that’s twice as much as I need! So I tell him, ‘don’t worry fellow, I only need one.’ But to my dismay, he says ‘no can’t do.’ I get confused ‘why?’ I ask ‘why Steven Boogie2988 Williams, why do you deny me the goddamn american right to buy a dog?’ He says to me ‘I need them both, one for me and one for the hooker!’
so he can't pull the "I was covering for my mom/wasn't ready to talk about it" excuse. He slipped bad and this dude caught it.
