Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 195 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 787 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,385
I like how he pretends it works even though literally everyone knows it is a gimped piece of shit.
Hasn't he admitted that a dog has tried to chew on it?

Reminds me of a story of a guy who had diabetic neuropathy in his feet. His dog chewed his feet up while he was asleep one night and didn't feel it, obviously. It was described as if someone shot his foot at close range with a shotgun.
 
Kraken is a good rum. It mixes with so many things. But personally I love Eldorado. That stuff you have to drink neat.
I'm sure Jack did exactly as h3 said in the video: he went to a liquor store and asked the staff what the best rum was. The staff, thinking they're talking to a special needs person with very little disposable income, recommends a bottle that is less than $25.

What's interesting is that for a guy who swears up and down he doesn't drink anymore that he buys a whole ass bottle instead of nips. If my measurements are correct, he would have had the same amount of alcohol for both the pudding and the frosting for around $6. Instead he now has to consume 4x the amount he used. Expect a LOT of rum videos in the future...

Unless Jack is a fucking lying coward in which he just drank the rest.
 
Folding batter with a fork? Does he not watch any other cooking videos? How do you do something for years and years but learn nothing?
I thought the same, but more over it seemed like there wasn’t enough batter for the amount of crap he added. Either he added too much of the fruits or didn’t have enough batter. Did he maybe double some of the recipe and not the rest of it? I don’t know. It’s Jack, anything is really possible.

IF (big if) the amounts were correct for what he was making, wouldn’t it make more sense to fold in each layer of fruits before adding the next one … and using a spatula.

Example: batter at bottom, add raisins, fold until combined. Then add currants, fold until combined, etc.

The end result ended up looking like someone puked up a KFC Famous Bowl. Nasty.
 
I thought the holidays were supposed to be for food, family, and fun Jack.
 

Attachments

  • Screenshot_20211215-072539_Chrome.jpg
    Screenshot_20211215-072539_Chrome.jpg
    223.3 KB · Views: 100
I thought the same, but more over it seemed like there wasn’t enough batter for the amount of crap he added. Either he added too much of the fruits or didn’t have enough batter. Did he maybe double some of the recipe and not the rest of it? I don’t know. It’s Jack, anything is really possible.

IF (big if) the amounts were correct for what he was making, wouldn’t it make more sense to fold in each layer of fruits before adding the next one … and using a spatula.

Example: batter at bottom, add raisins, fold until combined. Then add currants, fold until combined, etc.

The end result ended up looking like someone puked up a KFC Famous Bowl. Nasty.
I don't think this even needed folding, which is for lighter batters that you don't want to beat the air out of. This was a fruitcake with breadcrumbs, if the recipe said to fold it was probably to avoid beating/tearing up the fruit pieces.

Did you guys catch where he looks at the imprint of the beaters and says there is a picture in there because it looks like bewbs? Not very Christian family content friendly Jack, you perv.
 
I don't think this even needed folding, which is for lighter batters that you don't want to beat the air out of. This was a fruitcake with breadcrumbs, if the recipe said to fold it was probably to avoid beating/tearing up the fruit pieces.

Did you guys catch where he looks at the imprint of the beaters and says there is a picture in there because it looks like bewbs? Not very Christian family content friendly Jack, you perv.
Jack isn’t thinking of lady bewbs, he’s thinking of Paul’s bitch tits.
 
I don't think this even needed folding, which is for lighter batters that you don't want to beat the air out of. This was a fruitcake with breadcrumbs, if the recipe said to fold it was probably to avoid beating/tearing up the fruit pieces.

Did you guys catch where he looks at the imprint of the beaters and says there is a picture in there because it looks like bewbs? Not very Christian family content friendly Jack, you perv.
You're spot on with the folding. A traditional Christmas pudding is VERY heavy, and involves a lot of mixing. For a traditional anglo-style experience, you chill your butter and grate it into the batter in as many increments as you have children/family members in the kitchen. So if the recipe takes 1 cup of butter, and you have four people at home, you grate 1/4 of the butter at a time and everyone takes a turn mixing, making a wish as they stir. It's a silly tradition, but demonstrates how forgiving an authentic pudding mixture is to vigorous mixing by bakers who probably aren't familiar with proper folding technique.
 
Last edited:
Dementia is highly likely. That would certainly explain why he is so angry and bitter all the time, the hoarding and complete forgetfulness.
You might have a point, as there is a new study in that field who exactly hints at the possibility of overweight or obese people getting more dementia than not obese people.
I thought the holidays were supposed to be for food, family, and fun Jack.
Go get the rona you fat fuck, that will show them Dems. Fucking dumbass.
For those not in the know: Kroger announced it would end paid leave for unvaccinated employees who caught the coof. Jack is upset over something that doesn't even remotely affect him yet again.
Jack is like a Twitterati without even using Twatter, permanently offended by shit he isn't even remotely affected by.
I highly doubt that there is something on this planet he has nothing to whine about.
Tbh, as we have a social security system who takes over payment (at a reduced rate of 60%) after 6 weeks of sickness and your employer doesn't need to pay you anymore, I still can see and understand why Kroger is doing it, these payments must cost them millions every month for people who are to dumb/ignorant to get a Vaccinato dopio.
He has a KitchenAid stand mixer. Why doesn't he just use that? It would be infinitely easier than using this mixer for anyone, and especially for someone with a dead arm.​
He most likely has already forgotten that he has one.
 
I thought the holidays were supposed to be for food, family, and fun Jack.
I feel as if Jack ranting against Kroger is a self-own. Jack for the longest time denied that COVID was dangerous, that it was just like the flu. So now he's mad that they stopped paid leave when they are unvaccinated?

If it wasn't a big deal and wasn't more than just a flu, Jack should have ranted that they got paid sick leave in general and pushed for the company to stop the practice sooner, as it would drive up costs on his beloved BaconUp.
 
Reminds me of a story of a guy who had diabetic neuropathy in his feet. His dog chewed his feet up while he was asleep one night and didn't feel it, obviously. It was described as if someone shot his foot at close range with a shotgun.
This is pretty common, actually. It isn't malicious. The dog just correctly recognizes it as dead meat.
For those not in the know: Kroger announced it would end paid leave for unvaccinated employees who caught the coof.
Why should people be paid for an idiotic choice they made voluntarily? You could take this to an extreme, like fat fucks like Jack shouldn't be covered for insurance for his choice to be a fat fuck, but arguably it's a lot more complicated not to be fat and there are conditions that lead to it. All you have to do to avoid COVID is quit being a retard and get the jab.

The only legal issue I can see is if you actually have some medical condition that makes it dangerous, that might require reasonable accommodations under the Americans With Disabilities Act. But if you're just a sped, well, that's on you, pay for your own stupidity.
 
I absolutely cannot wait for this fuckup.

View attachment 2802655
How is it 'lazy man', exactly? It's a goose. Defrost. Oil/grease up. Season. Cook until done. Wow. A series of complicated steps that needed to be simplified. Jack could slap some peanut butter and jelly on some bread and he'd call it Lazy Man PB&J's.

And yeah, fruitcake is supposed to be dense. That's where all the holiday jokes about it come from; using it as a brick, heavy ordinance...fruitcake is almost a chore to eat. Not a big fan of it.
 
Back