DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Michael Richards]

modren dsp is so lame and autistic, he apparently already has the final two missions triggered yet spends time today dicking around in firefighter/paramedic for 40 mins each and cheats in two of the optional studio missions back to back. Half the time he just stares at the camera and doesn't even react to the failed screen, these two gta ones are tihydp material despite the difficulty nerf but the lack of any real passion just brings them back down

yeah the classic gta vids are almost charming in a way. hes unfunny and obnoxious and terrible but hes a slobby mid 20's loser gamer guy which is a recognizable human archetype. now hes a bizarre caricature of addiction, a masturbating hitlerian gollum who has tricked the psychic retards from minority report into giving him lots of money. everything he touches ends up suffocated by drab crankiness. He's getting old.

 

[Crooked 16th]

I love how Phil is so obsessed with people thinking he beat a game too "fast". Then goes on rants about how people said this game or that game is X amount of hours long and he has played it past that point so they don't know what their talking about. For the love of god no one wants to see you play vigilant missions for 2 hours and paramedic for another 3.

 

[fuckshitsnake]

Absolutely fucking horrific.

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My old man is in his 60s and his graybeard looks so much fuller and healthier compared to this rapidly deteriorating pig's goatee. It looks like his hair is falling out; it's that bad. Fucking ChemoSydePhil over here.

 

[Iron Father]

DSP 2012

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DSP 2021

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Never change DSP. No seriously, you'll never change...

I'm actually looking forward to the TIHYDP's that his new GTA playthroughs will provide. Those games expose everything he's so bad at. Saving resources, driving, not being able to facetank, following directions and hints, outdated game mechanics etc.

 

[Gergg]

My old man is in his 60s and his graybeard looks so much fuller and healthier compared to this rapidly deteriorating pig's goatee. It looks like his hair is falling out; it's that bad. Fucking ChemoSydePhil over here.

He should just shave that shit off, his goatee though is just a cover-up for his triple chin (like most fat dudes that insist on ugly beards) so he would rather look like a 60 year old balding alcoholic than a 45 year old balding alcoholic fatass.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

He should just shave that shit off, his goatee though is just a cover-up for his triple chin (like most fat dudes that insist on ugly beards) so he would rather look like a 60 year old balding alcoholic than a 45 year old balding alcoholic fatass.

Chins and his Oddly Shaped Head. Phil's bottom third is recessed af. He's just an ugly dude but refuses to embrace it.

 

[GiveMeTheMoney]

Ahahah, this will be a very funny time if he actually plays The Forest. Since he literally has NO FRIENDS, the game will be a LOT HARDER than it should be. I consider myself a the forest enjoyer, so this will be hilarious to see him die over and over because it's not like a lot of other kinds of games.

Turns night time: Uhhh what do I do?

I doubt he will build a base, or a treehouse and get gangbanged over and over.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Ahahah, this will be a very funny time if he actually plays The Forest. Since he literally has NO FRIENDS, the game will be a LOT HARDER than it should be. I consider myself a the forest enjoyer, so this will be hilarious to see him die over and over because it's not like a lot of other kinds of games.

Turns night time: Uhhh what do I do?

I doubt he will build a base, or a treehouse and get gangbanged over and over.

Surely some spastic retard true and honest fan will throw their wheelchair bucks into the black hole that is DSP to hand hold offer guidance.

But I hope you are right. The best thing after lawyer DSP is game developer DSP, this sounds like something that could trigger a chimpout.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Edit: As long as there are exceptional detractors like these faggots, Phil will be fine. I mean fuck me, imagine tipping a tenner just to be ignored. Mind you this happens often, but obviously also for less.
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I'm altogether convinced that they do it for attention, which they get a brief dopamine hit from the chat in the moment, but then they get immortalized on here. These retarded faggots probably scramble to KF to see their dirty work enshrined.

Perhaps people should stop screenshotting them and posting here, period. Or blur out their names at least. Getting attention here is probably >50% of the enjoyment they get from it. I dunno I feel like the idea's been floated countless times before and it's completely unenforcable.

If any of you troll-tippers are reading this, please fucking kill yourselves keep doing it, you're supporting this subforum by keeping the roach afloat.

Phil has never done anything nice for anyone, not even his fans. He's not given a single fan a membership as a reward, and he's broken several promises he made after he got his money.

Phil's done plenty for his fans.

• Set up all kinds of nifty emotes and sub animations for them to use on twitch
• Never fails to put up $15 of Party City decorations during the holidays
• uhhh
• Always gave them a way to tip him, gave them cool hints on how to keep from being doxed (like setting up multiple accounts, using aliases, setting up a direct-deposit from their moms' debit cards)
• uhhhhhh...
• Doesn't show off his vision of a wife because he knows some people are depressed and seeing her literal supermodel body would just make them want to do a flip

In 2012, or was it 2014, I wanted to buy a car. I didn't want to do any work on it or take it into the shop because my old car was such a lemon. So many times I had to take it to the shop. I had to have so much done to it. I must have paid for that car three times over. Probably three times, no exaggeration. Ok? So finally when 2012 hit I wanted to get a new car. I didn't want to have to take it in to the shop. So, and by the way i'm NAHT kidding you with this next incredible sentence. About five minutes away from where I lived was a BMW dealership. Yup. Can you believe it? One day I drove in there. I said my old car is a lemon. I'd like to buy a new car. One that I don't have to take into the shop. Give me your finest car please! I knew I didn't want to buy a BMW, I wanted to lease a BMW, to see if I like a BMW, because what if I get a BMW but I don't like the BMW? I just want to try out a BMW to see if I like the BMW and maybe buy the BMW afterwards. Hence the lease. I've never had a BMW so I got a low end BMW. It wasn't a high end BMW it was a low end BMW um with base features and stuff. I leased it for about two - two and a half years I wanna say? It wasn't three, it was like two - two and a half years.

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"And then I jacked my pigtail penis to Hulk Hogan and said nigger live on stream, which was the style at the time."

 

[FormerPro]

Damn, another new Joystick that still drops half of Phil's inputs but only when he's losing. The poor guy can't catch a break.

And by the way if he really wanted to beat that Chun-Li he would just pick Vega because his Vega's really good, but why would he pick the 9/10 matchup in his favour when he's trying to challenge himself?

And he's never going to play Fightcade because that's full of people that never stopped playing SFII since it came out.

Edit: Phil's Vega lost the 9/10 matchup in his favour but only because he was an online lag abuser so Phil's not going to play him again.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

Holy shit that "Swole T" guy got Phil so angry he sounded like he was on the verge of tears and said he is gonna have to pick a different game against him. That is the first time I've seen him run from Super Turbo the game he always claims he is the best at. There is legit only one lobby on Xbox right now lmao. Just get on Fightcade already Phil you gigantic pussy.

 

[Fact Me Till I Fart]

DSP 2012

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DSP 2021

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Never change DSP. No seriously, you'll never change...

There was one sequence where he was chasing Pulaski and his own car explodes right after Pulaski's goes boom... Didn't even stop to get out, react like fuck and run...

This is why TIHYDP is made, to entertain and constantly prove Phil is a professional at picking up controllers and fucking shit up!

 

[YokuNama]

Is this how they "own the trolls"?

Dude you burned $50 and gave them a shoutout lmaooooo. Sounds like YOU took it personal lol. But whatever.

Anyways, DSP got so pissed at Swole T that he is running from lobbies and going to ranked. Says he is using "lag tactics". Phil was absolutely getting demolished. So much so, he didn't even really celebrate the two 50 superchats he received.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

Double perfected lmaooo
Phil has been playing for 30 years but his excuse is that they play more. Never change Phil.

 

[actually]

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Is this how they "own the trolls"?

Dude you burned $50 and gave them a shoutout lmaooooo. Sounds like YOU took it personal lol. But whatever.

Anyways, DSP got so pissed at Swole T that he is running from lobbies and going to ranked. Says he is using "lag tactics". Phil was absolutely getting demolished. So much so, he didn't even really celebrate the two 50 superchats he received.

He should probably save his money for when Pizza Hut messes up his pizza.

 

[YokuNama]

Double perfected lmaooo

Lmaoooo. I wonder how long its gonna take before he blames the "fan donated" hitstick.

Here's the double perfect:

After this clip someone says he was just mixed up and then DSP says that its 100% Lag pattern and the guy probably played this game super hard when it came out and learned how to lag pattern everybody.

DSP is saying this. Man who flew around the country to play this game is calling someone else a tryhard. You can't make this up.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

Uhh has Phil played Super Turbo ever before in his life? That was brutal. Maybe take up super smash buddy.

 

[actually]

I need somebody to make a comparison from tonight's stream between Phil's reaction to Jordan Dudley's $50 superchat and $50 tip. They were completely different, and I bet you can guess which one was more animated.

 

[PhilsCamelToe]

Honestly, as dead as this collection is on both consoles, he is better off just playing the single player arcade. He already avoids multiplayer in 95% of games anyway.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

Near end of night stream status:

Total tip: $103

Top tip: Jordan Dudley ($50) and Jaxx Raxor ($25) combined for 74% of total tips

Very interesting development tonight

Phil was complaining about low tips all night despite Jaxx's early tip

Jordan Dudley, a new member, came out of nowhere and gave $50 superchat

Phil wasn't even moved, casually addressed it

Jordan was unhappy and asking in Chat why the superchat was not count toward tip total

Chat helped him to understand Superchat is essentially air to Phil

Jordan then tipped $50 to hit the tier 2 tip goal

Again a stream carried by wheelchair Jaxx and a retard out of nowhere