Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[Govt. Shitposting Machine]

So, for context here's the posts I've made about this person. TL;DR raped butch lesbian goes psychotic, gets groomed by troons, becomes k-pooper
I don't wanna post caps because technically I'm still in her social circle despite her blocking me on main and not her alts but whatever that's her problem. Blocking me upgraded her from mutual to lolcow though lmao so let's go

It's a month after her diagnosis of Bipolar I and being prescribed testosterone! What will she do?

Spoiler: lesbian schizoposting it's a bit long for this thread imo

Well, first she started signing up for every dating app possible, Grindr included. Got annoyed she only got FtM chasers and no "hot and hairy enby tops" or "sexy trap bottoms" messaging her.
Quit after she realized she would not receive the hairy roided out clit, or programmer sock boyfriend of her dreams.
And also because she has deep seated male trauma that she brings up over and over, I have no idea why she's trying to get some boypussy, but seeing actual dicks on Grindr made her spazz out.
Then she decided to come out as trans to her coworkers. She chimps out on social media everytime she gets misgendered not only by the customers, but by her boss (who by all accounts seems like just a normal boomer).
How she's allowed to post on her phone as a cashier worker, no fucking clue, but she's really fucking going at it all day. I think she just stays in the break room until she's let off but that's me pulling theories out my ass.
Now, since she blocked me I can't really get the full picture for todays retardation but now she's talking to others about her "switches" and how she "has voices inside of her head that overwhelm her" and that she "doesn't feel like herself around others" because she "gets into trance like states".
She's trying to imply she has DID and using her alt accounts to try and pass it off as such, switching between them and vagueposting about god knows what.
Which is funny because her sibling is dating someone who proclaims to have DID and talked about wanting to kill them whenever they "switched" to their baby persona. Either that or the schizophrenia's finally hitting.

It sounds like generic troon shit writing it down but like given the history of her it is the fastest I've seen a dumpster fire explode. She isn't even speedrunning anymore, it's full on professional olympics, going through all the stages of trannyism in a matter of months.

 

[Exister]

Some gay bullshit

You fuckin retards would go down to the insane asylum and go "Woah, lolcow alert! Lolcow spotted!"

 

[The Fraggle Queen]

I fear that my childhood friend was a lolcow.

I’m not going to post any screenshots because I don’t want to incriminate myself and we haven’t spoken in a good few years, but by God, she was a cow.

We met when we were young, before we were teenagers, and were good friends for a while. We went places together, bowling, to the cinema, out for meals, things friends always did. She had a love for video games, which was one of the factors that cemented our friendship.

As she grew older, though, she started to become obsessed with the video game characters, particularly Professor Layton and Phoenix Wright, to the point of neglecting her real life friendships in favour of the fictional characters and her obsession with finding their real-world counterpart. This obsession and spiralling occurred more frequently after she had several relationships that ultimately failed, and led her to become a complete shut-in. She became a fanatic of the occult and believed she could summon her fictional crushes, and that everything was a sign of aliens or ghosts or some weird shit like that. I’d invite her out to hang out with me and Mr. Fraggle and our mutual friends, and she’d make the entire event about “what if we had a supernatural experience here and now?” when we were just trying to grab a round of drinks at a bar or something.

She’d force her expectations of fictional men onto her real-life partners which caused the disintegration of essentially all her relationships. This caused friction between us as a couple of her partners were mutual friends that she’d met through me, and it sucked seeing people I care about get hurt.

I haven’t spoken to her properly in a long while, not enough to gauge her sanity, but last I checked she’s still a shut in NEET with no future aspirations other than having sex with a fictional man in a top hat.

 

[Toxxikk McCawfee]

im an owner of a steam group, just for friends ect and actually playing video games

these guys come out of no where and try to "troll me" on dark souls 3, i look into their shit and they've been documenting themselves already so i dont even have to put it all together myself

their 'lore' https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2640793920

Steam Community :: Group :: A.T.F. (Alcohol. Tobacco. Firearms.)

We Rob, Plunder, Loot, Cheat, Be Based, Steal, R**e Women, Cocaine, Whiskey, Guns, Hookers, Bitcoin We are the MOST POWERFUL BADASS MILITIA IN STEAM CITY A group full of based sigma gigachads, we troll all who oppose us to death and steal their women as se* sl**es. We demand eternal freedom for...

steamcommunity.com

the main guy thinks hes sam hyde, and claims to have worked with mde https://steamcommunity.com/id/SamHydesAmericanNightmare

 

[cat in pringles]

Mine is not a specific LOLCow, but a group.

In this case, that is boys who think that being young, gay, and mean is a personality. I do not mean those who merely have the red equals ign in their avatars, have 'Gay//#LoveIsLove' in their profiles, and spend plenty of posts talking about 'my awesome boyfriend!!!'
Rather, I am talking abou those who are the gay equivalent of Mr Kouhei fro Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi. I mean, they say 'HEY GAY GIRLS! I'M GAYMERGAYTOR626!!! BEING GAY IS THE BES THING THAT HAS HAPPEND TO MY GAY LIFGE! IM SO GAY: I'M A UNICORN OTHERKIN2! I JUST WAN TO HIDE FROM STAIRGHT SITY AND LIVE MY GAY LITTEL LIFE IN A GAY LITTLE CORNER WITH MY GAY LITTLE GATAND DRINK MY GAY LITTLE CAOFFEE AND BY BE GAY AT GAY OF CLOCK. iM GAY!!!!11 STRAGIHT PEOPLE ORE SO BORING; THEY WOULRD WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF THEY ALL TURNED GAY. I WISH THAT I COULD PUT UP A GAY FORCEFIELD THAT PROTECTS ME FROM THE SUTPID STRAIGHTS. GAY! DRACO MALFGOY IS TO TOTALLY GAY WITH MEMATON AND IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE YOUR A HOMOPFGOB! HAVE A GAY DAY!ALSO, DID I MENTION THAT I'M GAY??' Their social media is pretty much entirely dedicated to bein 'gay'. SonicFox is a downplayed example.

If a straight person flexed thons heterosexuality even half that amount and intensity, others would think that straight person is in the closet. More, I see that gay boys are the only ones who flex their orientation that much: the main lesbian flexes come from radical feminists (and even then I see little of that flexing), I only saw a few cases of bi flexing, and ace and even pan flexing i something that I have ye to see myself. Nope; the main flexors are gay boys.

The worst part is that, if you tell these Kouheis to stop flexing their orientation, they wil troll you with even more flexing while claiming that you want 'queer folx' to die. They are protected by their minority status.

you’re gay

 

[Joe Swanson]

I was a bit of a sperg in high school so pretty much all of the people I hung out with were spergs in one way or another (and a few ended up trooning out) however there is one that one day might actually end up with a thread here if she was just a little more outspoken outside of her progressive bubble that she's seemingly entrenched herself in. Basically in high school she was this super science obsessed autist who was this living encyclopedia of knowledge due to being autistically hyperfixated on math and science. However after we graduated we did keep in touch though she heavily started browsing tumblr and became hyperfixated on her own identity and started sperging about how autistic she is. Now nearly a decade later she's a neet who is now sperging about how she can't have any friends because "she's aplatonic" which is totally the case and not because no one can stand her long enough to be her friend.

 

[Xanen]

I've had the unfortunate opportunity to be close to two rather infamous people in two relatively small communities. One is a minor and also currently homeless, so I don't feel right in blasting him on the farms. So, here's a recountig of my time with:

garylovesjohn/marukanitern(? I can't remember the exact spelling)/mosquito.

From their own account, they're apparently both well-known and widely disliked by the FAITH community. FAITH being an atari-styled horror game by airdorf (who keeps edging us in regards to when he's releasing the unholy trinity. Prick.). According to mos, "whiny" twitter users complained about their "art" (most of which is directly traced over 3d models. Hell, one of their pieces is just straight up a traced screenshot with a dick added to it), causing them to be reviled within the FAITH community to the point they left twitter.

At first things may seem harmless, blown out of proportion even. Until you find out mos is a NEET who spends most of their time making mediocre porn, shitting and pissing themselves over how hot prolapsed anuses are, fetishizing gay men, and writing fanfiction of the worst kinds.

Highlights include: A story that's literally just like 800 words dedicated to describing Albert Wesker taking a shit. ("There's no sex. Just Wesker taking a shit.")

A story involving Nero and Dante from Devil May Cry, in which Nero eats demonic flesh and ends up shitting a literal mountain. Dante jerks off to the sight. There is a scene wherein they're ass-to-ass and Nero is literally shitting into Dante's gaping man pussy (also, they have a thing for blown out assholes, and incest!).

Multiple stories of the protagonist of FAITH being violated and brutalized. Wine enemas, being eaten alive, raped by demons- everything that would turn even the strongest stomachs.

This isn't even the worst of it. They're only active on Archive of Our Own (because of course they are), and pillowfort. They also display a surprising streak of misogyny, finding female characters/women "boring" to write about/draw. Granted, this just reads as "I can't fetishize women/straight couples."

If there's any interest, I'll post some of their work here.

Update: They are going on about wanting to fuck mummies. As in the dead person kind.

Release me from this hell.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Update: They are going on about wanting to fuck mummies. As in the dead person kind.

Release me from this hell.

This man sounds like one of mine. Help me to recognize him further.

 

[Xanen]

This man sounds like one of mine. Help me to recognize him further.

French canadian, dresses feminine despite identifying as a guy, i've never heard their voice for myself outside of a video maybe and it was pretty high in pitch. really into black metal.

 

[ShitInMyMouth]

Mine is someone I know personally. To avoid power levelling I'll be vague. He was a regular cynical dude once and a really good friend. Life happens, we all move away but we keep in touch.

Then a tweet of his goes viral and he suddenly thinks he's an internet celebrity. He turns into everything we used to laugh at. Constant virtue signalling, always having the correct opinion (especially after he retweeted a joke by someone with wrongthink and was doxxed (yes, I will always spell it with two x, you'll never change that)), one of the internet good guys who bullies strangers because they don't follow the fashion rules of "rum" Twitter or because that person is poor, oversharing about the troubles with his ex-wife on Facebook, and becoming the Mondeo man we always swore we'd never become.

Don't have anything much to do with him now but do drop in on his Twitter occasionally just to see how far he's fallen.

TL;DR Former friend is now on the right side of history

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

So my personal lolcow and his long-time troll had a fist fight...

Baz Longstaff - Decca heggie vs Danny Christie bare...

Decca heggie vs Danny Christie bare knuckle fight just happened

www.facebook.com

View attachment 2710923
Some additional info to this is that Danny - the small guy - was accusing decca of being a nonce, sex pest etc with fake profiles for years. No evidence was offered up, and he got lots of women to catfish decca to release videos/ audio clips of decca that are compromising.

View attachment 2711257

Decca the big fella has released a 3 hour long documentary about his trolls.

As an update, effectively most of the allegations against him are bullshit and the biggest laughing stocks in it all are the weirdos who have basically ran a campaign to troll him for over two years. People were paying people to spread rumours about him online - and there are recordings proving it.

Him and all the orbiter trolls are a big enough topic for a thread of their own...

Link / Archive

 

[Personal_lolcow]

Not sure if this really merits a new thread but have any of you ever unintentionally befriended a lolcow?

I have had the pleasure of being around a few lolcows in a server I used to frequent and I found their antics really amusing. But I was faced with the dilemma that if people keep shitting on them they would just leave and so would my entertainment. So I routinely made sure to praise them or be nice whenever possible in order to keep them around. This lead to some weird situations however where they thought we were genuinely friends and then I felt bad for them so I would play along. Weirdly, forcing myself to be nice to them psychologically just made me actually start liking them and I did genuinely consider them friends.

I'm reminded of something I saw once regarding Lolcows, they need at least some support or they will leave, so I ended up being that support. But if anybody has advice on how to be supportive whilst also maintaining that distance I'd be happy to hear some advice.

Was the server named Derelicts?

 

[Flying McDaniels]

I wrote about my former friend Franky in this thread about a year and a half ago.

As it turns out, the poor guy had schizophrenia. Not too long after I quit talking to him he "found religion" , started talking about how he was too powerful to exist in this world and how he God placed him in the world to destroy it, a bunch of other schizo stuff, then ran all over town (it's a small town) chasing the Devil. By the time the police found him he was naked, wrapped in a bedsheet, and praying in the middle of the road. He resisted arrest and was committed for a couple weeks while they tried to get him on the right balance of meds.

Well, schizo meds may have caused Franky to quit hallucinating that he was fighting the Devil, but they didn't do anything to his rampaging ego. Because he was moments away from becoming a crushing success, he decided to spend his gubmit monies on a $300 suit. Then he decided he was going to carry the suit with him everywhere he went. Then he lost the suit. Probably his piece of shit dopehead mother sold it while he was spending time at a friend's. However, Franky decided that said friend was the one who stole it, and so he banished that dude and everyone else in that social circle (including me) from his life.

Last I heard, the dude had gained a ton of weight and no longer did anything but play freemium games on his phone. He still thinks he's set to be a crushing success at life, though - he's just waiting on God to speak through him or something. Any minute now...

 

[AnOminous]

Last I heard, the dude had gained a ton of weight and no longer did anything but play freemium games on his phone. He still thinks he's set to be a crushing success at life, though - he's just waiting on God to speak through him or something. Any minute now...

Sounds like a Lucas Werner in the making.

 

[Micotil 300]

I have a bunch of personal lolcows/friendcows! Maybe I need to reevaluate the company I keep... here's some summaries!

-- The 32-year-old near-NEET (she's employed, occasionally, briefly), genderspecial, autistic, BPD queen... king... person? She's a Furry, and ships herself with fictional characters (and will get in fights with people about it). She showed up at my house while I was out with another friend and started sobbing to my mom about how everyone hates her and she has no friends. She was in her 20s, and I was a teenager. This was not a one-time occurrence. Spends the money her rich, "horribly abusive" parents give her on toys, clothes, and conventions, and then complains about how awful and unfair they are because they give her rules and tell her to maybe think about doing something.

-- The homeless (voluntarily, due to an unwillingness to actually DO anything) MtF transgender woman. She came to my parents house to visit for a few days, which became nearly two weeks when my parents finally said she had to leave. My dad got her into a program to help her get a job and a place to live, a program that had a huge waitlist and was hard to get into in the first place), in a matter of days. She quit the program in about five days to go couchsurf some more. She is currently in a sexual relationship with a demon. Or possibly Jason Voorhees. Tried to get me to join in a polyamorous Furry relationship, but only if I was OK with consentual-non-consent.

-- The 60-year-old man who began stalking me, let himself into my apartment, got banned from the store I worked at for being creepy, moved to Texas, moved back three years later, found me, and showed me a scar on his neck from "trying to kill himself, probably because he missed me so much." I haven't seen him in a few months, but I can't say I'm sad about it.

-- The 38-year-old dude who was sexually attracted to wolves and once told me he found "large winter dogs" attractive. He thought if you "had a canine gene" you could impregnate a dog and create a werewolf. Drunkenly admitted to me that he was having "thoughts" about his girlfriend's German Shepherd. Don't know where he is nowadays. Probably either prison or dead from being mauled by a nonconsenting large winter dog.

 

[Joe Swanson]

I have a bunch of personal lolcows/friendcows! Maybe I need to reevaluate the company I keep... here's some summaries!

-- The 32-year-old near-NEET (she's employed, occasionally, briefly), genderspecial, autistic, BPD queen... king... person? She's a Furry, and ships herself with fictional characters (and will get in fights with people about it). She showed up at my house while I was out with another friend and started sobbing to my mom about how everyone hates her and she has no friends. She was in her 20s, and I was a teenager. This was not a one-time occurrence. Spends the money her rich, "horribly abusive" parents give her on toys, clothes, and conventions, and then complains about how awful and unfair they are because they give her rules and tell her to maybe think about doing something.

-- The homeless (voluntarily, due to an unwillingness to actually DO anything) MtF transgender woman. She came to my parents house to visit for a few days, which became nearly two weeks when my parents finally said she had to leave. My dad got her into a program to help her get a job and a place to live, a program that had a huge waitlist and was hard to get into in the first place), in a matter of days. She quit the program in about five days to go couchsurf some more. She is currently in a sexual relationship with a demon. Or possibly Jason Voorhees. Tried to get me to join in a polyamorous Furry relationship, but only if I was OK with consentual-non-consent.

-- The 60-year-old man who began stalking me, let himself into my apartment, got banned from the store I worked at for being creepy, moved to Texas, moved back three years later, found me, and showed me a scar on his neck from "trying to kill himself, probably because he missed me so much." I haven't seen him in a few months, but I can't say I'm sad about it.

-- The 38-year-old dude who was sexually attracted to wolves and once told me he found "large winter dogs" attractive. He thought if you "had a canine gene" you could impregnate a dog and create a werewolf. Drunkenly admitted to me that he was having "thoughts" about his girlfriend's German Shepherd. Don't know where he is nowadays. Probably either prison or dead from being mauled by a nonconsenting large winter dog.

You really should meet some new people

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

I just found out about this guy today, and was surprised/disappointed to not see anyone mentioning him.

His name is Daniel Schütz, otherwise known as Jeremy Fragrance. He's a German 'fragrance reviewer' (he smells and sells perfume) that's apparently somewhat infamous for shilling his overpriced perfume and generally acting very strange.
An average video on his youtube channel is usually about something pertaining to fragrances (theres a lot of top 10/5 videos) where he starts off by twirling around, and the comments are overwhelmingly positive. In the video "My Gay Past" (which is a very convoluted video where he talks in circles about having a past where he lied to cover up a rape suit and how he reconciled using religion that ends with him shilling another cologne after a run on sentence) he straight up admits to deleting all 'negative' comments. As with pretty much every straight (yes, he's straight) male beauty Youtuber he has a lot of videos and items catering to "alpha" males and has a bit of an obsession with the 'sexiest' perfumes. There's also a few obligatory sexual harassment claims.
In the past, he made a video about how he was totally quitting YouTube you guise. He then proceeded to make more videos and delete the old one. Apparently half the fragrance community hates his ass and the other half love him.

His German channel has apparently made him a bit of a meme over there. I like this one

"I also jack off, but I [laughs], but I… I do it for strategic reasons. And I… I don’t cum. So, um, it’s definitely part of my daily life."
He has a tendency to repeat things and explain them strangely. I thought it might be the language barrier, but in this video it seems like he does it in German, too.

So while his main YouTue channel looks pretty average from a distance (like i said, I just found out about this guy; don't give enough of a shit right now to watch) there's a multitude of deleted videos from him.

He got into a bit of drama for overestimating how big he was. He has his own perfume company he shills (Fragrance One) and made a controversial video about how he was going to triple the price.

His TikTok has some weird videos on it. Most are just "guys check out this fragrance" but he also posts videos like, uhh.. these (If someone has a good way to put tiktok vids on here please let me know)

TikTok

www.tiktok.com

(i dont think posting JEREMY FRAGRANCE MEMES 3 is credible but there's a specific TikTok i wanted to post)

The way I tried to write about him doesn't feel tat cowish though, but he's funny enough for a few videos

I hate to necroreply but oh my god, so much yes!
Ever since I got into fragrance he has been my pet cow for a few good years now.
The guy is a major narc and a coke head, I suspect that's why he can't cum.
Memba those DMs he sent to that one big tiddied insta hoe?

Spoiler: These are they

Chris D'Elia recently reacted to him on his podcast:

 

[Kiwi & Cow]

ThejetermanRBLX​

is a lolcow I knew since about the Google+ days, back then he would beef with Bronies/Mariotards from a community titled "Anti-Sonic Enterprises". Recently he caught the spotlight because he's a groomer, my man is going places I tell ya.

Just in case, here's the timestamp 10:47, but you can skip to 12:38 if that dude bores you, it's kinda the intro that gives context to the full picture.

Also it's the first time ever he's mentioned on the farms, so welcome:

 

[RainwaterDrop]

-- The 32-year-old near-NEET (she's employed, occasionally, briefly), genderspecial, autistic, BPD queen... king... person? She's a Furry, and ships herself with fictional characters (and will get in fights with people about it). She showed up at my house while I was out with another friend and started sobbing to my mom about how everyone hates her and she has no friends. She was in her 20s, and I was a teenager. This was not a one-time occurrence. Spends the money her rich, "horribly abusive" parents give her on toys, clothes, and conventions, and then complains about how awful and unfair they are because they give her rules and tell her to maybe think about doing something.

I know a loser bitch like that lol! Not powerleveling, just an acquaintance that is such a retard that she is fucking hilarious with her shenanigans lol!

Imagine that girl you described, but not a furry and with MovieBob's grasp on politics. Has a fucking portfolio of self-diagnosed mental ilnesses, honestly she must have BPD or Narcissism to a degree because she is fucking moody as shit and lashes out when people propose doing something she doesn't like, like ordering pizza instead of burgers when hanging out, whines about her "abusive" family that finances every retarded idea she has, and considering that she has Chris' work ethic they usually fail less than a month after lol!

The most hilarious thing is that I see her somewhat frequently as she is a friend of a friend, and everytime I see this crazy bitch her life changed completely and she is still on the same spot she was before, like a fucking Simpsons character lol!

You really should meet some new people

Sometimes you don't really have a choice, like with relatives. Even cows find themselves nice people to love, and then they become a pain to whole fucking families lol!

Same with those friends of friends that nobody really likes but they tolerate out of respect for the friend who brought them in!

 

[A Pile Of Fucking Ashes]

I know this one person who was in an online community I'm part of (obviously I'll be vague about which one as to not powerlevel). For the sake of convenience, I'll refer to them as "Z". They're a nonbinary individual who is usually calm now, albeit a little off at times. But back in the day, if you did ANYTHING that made Z think you were somehow "harassing" them, then they'd chimp out, deactivate their twitter, send their friends after you and start spreading lies about you.

An example: at one point, Z unveiled a little something in a video on Twitter, and a random person (we'll call them "W") replied with an edit with shitty fart sound effects over it. Z was confused and offput at first, with W continuing to reply with shitposts. You know, just some harmless trolling. So what did Z do? Did they laugh along? Did they ignore it and move on? Nope, they did exactly what I detailed. Deactivated their Twitter, chimped out on Discord, and sent a huge blocklist filled with W and their friends (some of which, mind you, had absolutely nothing to do with the drama.) telling everyone to block these people. W and their friends decided to do a little more trolling, finding themselves in the perfect spot to farm some lulz. They proceeded to go off on various hijinx making fun of Z, much to their chigrin. Z's partner (who we'll call "A"), made a bunch of melodramatic posts calling W out, to which W and the others called THEM out on their own bullshit. Another friend, Y, did something similar, got called out, and deleted their post. Eventually, it all died down, but Z never fully recovered from that dumpster fire. Ever since then, the drama would occasinally flare back up and start the whole cycle over. Each rekindling was shorter than the last, and eventually both sides just got tired and stayed away from each other.

This isn't the only time Z has chimped out, however. Oh no, there's more. I direct you to a particularly grievous incident where they falsely accused someone of grooming them (we'll call this individual "T"). The little evidence they DID have showed some odd behavior, but nothing indicating ACTUAL grooming. It was mostly just their own words and not much physical evidence. Unsurprisingly, T refuted all this, pointing to Z's mental health and being generally taken aback that Z would turn on them so suddenly and without warning. Apparently, T and Z had been close friends for a while, and this stab in the back came out of nowhere. They encouraged Z to get help (surprise, they didn't [at least not really]). There was more to it, but it was pretty clear that Z had no smoking gun to prove their claims. Eventually it all died down, and the incident was forgotten by most. That is, except by T and Z, who have not spoken to each other since the incident. I still for the life of me figure out why the hell Z threw away their friendship with T all for some clout.

In recent times, Z has been much less of a lolcow. They figured out at some point that chimping out would only make more enemies, so they've mostly closed themselves off to just their circle of friends along with the fans who didn't leave during all the drama. Frankly, following them is just more depressing than lulworthy now. Mentally unstable, had a shitty childhood, suicidal as hell, just generally messed up in the head. Hence why I've kept their online identity a secret. I'd rather not start a whole thing between them and the Farms, I was involved in the drama myself and frankly I'd rather shove my dick in a shotgun and pull the trigger than watch yet ANOTHER dumpster fire break out. So, if by some freak chance you happen to know who this person is and the incidents I'm talking about, then I'd rather you keep it a secret as well (though I suppose you could DM me about it if you know and want to talk about it.) AKA if you know, you know. I know that nobody is probably gonna know, I just wanted to make sure.

Just wanted to finally get that story off my chest, though I will admit I got a few lulz from the whle experience.