Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
Not what that Bible story was about man.
Juxtaposed with his previous post, it’s all the more ludicrous.

jackstaposition.png
 
The other thing I forgot to mention was the oil slick he made was supposed to be an emulsion. Meaning mix it rapidly with a whisk, the oil and the lemon juice together. This fat retard doesn’t even know why he needs to use the lemon and assumes it’s to stop the browning in avocado.
 
Jack yesterday: "I'm eating healthy"
Jack today:
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WTF is this Mega Man music? More passive-aggressive sperging about Beyond Meat. The many emotions of Jack: excited when he sees beer and wine on the menu, disappointed when Tammy tells Jack they don't have their liquor license yet, sanctimonious about drinking the devil's water, angy about them taking all his food back when they fucked up one item. Jack wants the "why-goo" beef. He helpfully repeats to us the ingredients that we can clearly hear Tammy telling him. Jack's palate confirmed for being fucked. "New Yorkers like tight casings". "Follow me around for a day and you'll see sad" -- is Jack gaining self-awareness?
 
Jack yesterday: "I'm eating healthy"
Jack today:
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Dude, he got his greasy burger wrapped in very nutritious iceberg lettuce though. I really don't know what you're complaining about, it's clear he's committed to the healthy lifestyle. Loved the bit where he complains about the floor being slippery as spit just flies out of his mouth, as well as the small glimmer of self-reflection at the end where he acknowledges that his life is indeed sad.
 
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jack sure does have a knack for making the thumbnail look as unappetizing as possible

"it always seems like i'm recording on the darkest nights of the year...it's just 'cause it's wintertime but....still dark." - jack scalfani 2022

no circus music or weird house music in this video, this time jack inserts something straight out of a 90s action cartoon

jack proncounces wagyu as "why-gu." add that to the jack-isms list

jack complains that there's something on the floor which makes it feel like he's walking on ice and that his shoes are now completely coated with grease. "good thing i'm sitting in a chair or else i'll break my neck"

jack's fragile masculinity is again on display as he talks about plant based meat

the landwhales got their burgers wrapped in lettuce to keep up the weight loss LARP

uh oh. "i want you back" by the jackson 5 begins to play as jack tries his burger but fatty forgot to cover it up with his circus music

jack can't handle the spice from tammy's chicken sandwich

"you can truly taste the beer in the batter." jack wishes he could drink so bad

tammy basically calls jack a bitch because he thought the chicken sandwich was spicy

"just follow me around all day and you'll see sad." did........did jack just show some self awareness? holy shit
 
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"This is brand new here" "Everyone loves it here" "There's no one here because they're all at Whataburger".

Edit: The background music got me thinking Fat Jack was going to debut at the next Tokyo Dome show, but then I realized 1. Wrestle Kingdom was last week and 2. His opponent, Jushin "Thunder" Liger retired last year.

Reference to theme songs:
 
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You know, if I wanted to go to a place like this but that thumbnail was all I had to go by I'd go somewhere else. Could he literally have chosen a more stomach churning thumbnail? Well I suppose an image of him face fucking that hot dog as if it was a dick would be worse.

And I'm sorry but "why-goo"? Is that supposed to be wagyu? And seriously unless you're ordering a steak getting a wagyu dog or burger is a waste of money.

Wagyu literally means "Japanese beef". And unless you're getting a steak you're just paying extra for more fat in your burger / dog. Do you honestly think they're going to take an overly marbled piece of wagyu, grind it up and the form it into a patty or dog? No. They'll take some regular beef, a lot of extra fat and grind all that up together. You're wasting your money if you order those.

And, while we're on the subject, Kobe style beef isn't really worth it. I've had it once while in Japan. Never bothered again. It was nowhere near as good as some people made it out to be.

And of course he's an obnoxious asshole throughout the entire thing. Complaining about the price of the burger, complaining about the beer and wine, complaining about the floor. Just fucking die already fatty. You'll only be doing the world a favor by doing so.
 
Adding bacon to completely inappropriate things was something it was really faddish to do about ten years ago but has mostly fallen out of style even among the soyboys and hipsters who used to do that.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was over the whole "BACON IS LIFE" thing five minutes after it started. Jack on the other hand is going to ride that train all the way to the promised land.
 
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Do Americans really? I bet Jack ordered 3.

Edit for Jack deepthroating a very healthy lettuce burger:
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Bacon on dessert items aren't new. It's a salty-sweet play, like chocolate/yogurt dipped pretzels or pineapple on pizza, but this one is a crazy-indulgent example. I think there are wrong and right ways to do it when something greasy like bacon is involved, though.

The best version of this I've tasted is a chocolate mousse pie from a little local tavern that sadly closed. The whipped cream dollop on top had little flakes of bacon folded into it. It breaks the light and fluffy sweetness with a little salted crunch and was surprisingly nice. Helps that they didn't weigh the thing down with excess grease.

All that said, I have to commend Jack on having an incredible talent for taking the most unflattering pictures of food, even from places I like and food I know is tasty for sure.
 
Almost sure I saw a video of Jack's where he talked about his porn addiction once.

This is all about looking like the best Christian possible
I rather doubt he got rid of his porn collection: he's still getting fast food promotionals and constantly looks on his phone for new places to eat 20 pounds of food at.
Of course he hated that recipe because, like everything, he jacked it up. Way too much oil, that nasty garlic and everything.

Using a ripe avocado to replace the mayo in your tuna salad is a great way to use them when they're overripe. But that's all it is. Instead of mayo you replace it with avocado. Make your tuna salad as you normally do but mash up an avocado in place of mayo.

Sure it looks putrid but it tastes really good.
Yeah I didn't get into too much on the food when I saw that trashfire, but the things that got me in it were the big horkin' chunks of onion and celery paired off with entire cloves of nuclear garlic and the whole parsley and badly cut chives. That's vomit inducing right there, and they're supposed to be much finer chopped than that.
The other thing I forgot to mention was the oil slick he made was supposed to be an emulsion. Meaning mix it rapidly with a whisk, the oil and the lemon juice together. This fat retard doesn’t even know why he needs to use the lemon and assumes it’s to stop the browning in avocado.
He's trying to pretend he knows any gastronomy purely to own the haters. It's why he recently has tried to keep pretending he has a refined palate since we, especially you, make fun of how he doesn't have one due to either losing it due to the first stroke he had, or never having it in the first place.
Jack yesterday: "I'm eating healthy"
Jack today:
View attachment 2881349

WTF is this Mega Man music? More passive-aggressive sperging about Beyond Meat. The many emotions of Jack: excited when he sees beer and wine on the menu, disappointed when Tammy tells Jack they don't have their liquor license yet, sanctimonious about drinking the devil's water, angy about them taking all his food back when they fucked up one item. Jack wants the "why-goo" beef. He helpfully repeats to us the ingredients that we can clearly hear Tammy telling him. Jack's palate confirmed for being fucked. "New Yorkers like tight casings". "Follow me around for a day and you'll see sad" -- is Jack gaining self-awareness?
Baby music because Jack is too lazy and retarded to just dub over it himself or just not eat inside like a smart person would if this kept happening. I like how happy he got over the beer and wine; I think Jack's been secret chugging for a while now that he doesn't have to drive anywhere.

And this fat retard actually cried when he got charged a tenner for Wagyu? You stupid stupid mantoddler; of COURSE it'd cost that much, even if BurgerFI is lying about it actually being wagyu like I suspect they are. That'd be like asking for the priciest cut of meat in the cow like the tenderloin or ribs, and tarding out that it isn't at chuck prices. He'd probably do that too actually given how delusional and self centered he is.

Also why the fuck you lyin' about being a New Yorker you Orange County carpet bagger?
 
the landwhales got their burgers wrapped in lettuce to keep up the weight loss LARP
If they were planning on eating less carbs this could actually be passable for an actual diet as long as they were counting calories and having a light meal or no meals for dinner. But of course, knowing this fatso he probably can't understand what counting calories is lol!

I was overweight last year as I was working too much and eating a lot to make up for it, and I had some burgers on my cheat days during my diet phase. The catch was limiting myself to a certain amount of calories, so when I had these cheat days I only ate a light salad for dinner with little in the way of dressings. If Jack taught himself how to eat right he could probably lose weight, but he's too much of a retard and a glutton to actually try and have a meaningful effort towards it. I am willing to bet his meals all clock at a thousand calories at least!

Adding bacon to completely inappropriate things was something it was really faddish to do about ten years ago but has mostly fallen out of style even among the soyboys and hipsters who used to do that.
That and nutella. The fads stuck in some places with caramelized bacon but they mostly faded out, a Maple Bacon Shake is essentially for the people who like caramelized bacon with a twist lol!

Wagyu literally means "Japanese beef". And unless you're getting a steak you're just paying extra for more fat in your burger / dog. Do you honestly think they're going to take an overly marbled piece of wagyu, grind it up and the form it into a patty or dog? No. They'll take some regular beef, a lot of extra fat and grind all that up together. You're wasting your money if you order those.

And, while we're on the subject, Kobe style beef isn't really worth it. I've had it once while in Japan. Never bothered again. It was nowhere near as good as some people made it out to be.

And of course he's an obnoxious asshole throughout the entire thing. Complaining about the price of the burger, complaining about the beer and wine, complaining about the floor. Just fucking die already fatty. You'll only be doing the world a favor by doing so.

Jack acting like an asshole is a given, but with his lack of culture I can picture him ordering wagyu just because it's fancy stuff and then getting all pissy because his burger wasn't what he had in mind. People can have anything in mind but you can't get everything, I can imagine an Unicorn burger but that doesn't mean I'm getting one lol!

Jack is the kind of guy that walks into a restaurant with a set of demands in mind without thinking about how feasible they can be. Certain meats aren't good for burgers, like Wagyu, but with the Jacks of the world wanting to eat them like that because it's good stuff being served in a good way (inside their minds) they try to meet the demand. And even if the burger sucked I am also willing to bet Jack couldn't come close to it!

This normally isn't an argument against critics, but it does apply on Jack's case as he runs a cooking channel. He makes content about cooking food, not just about good eating, so his culinary skills can be used as a metric when comparing them with the restaurants he criticizes!

Jack is completely ignorant when it comes to the bible. I'd probably smoke him in Bible Drill even if it has been a couple of decades.
Jack is completely ignorant, period. This wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't an asshole, but he is, so he is the kind of retard to walk into a restaurant, complain about fucking everything without reason and then make a video slamming them for things they got right. You know, the kind of guy that complains about his jalapeño sauce being spicy lol!
 
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