I am writing this to commemorate this historic night and possibly be part of court transcripts in the future.
First, wheewwwwwwww, what a day, what a night! Thanks to all you Kiwis for this special time we have spent together, and special thanks to those who have been archiving. While I know the show is far from over, I'd like to make a few comments before the incoming chimping out replaces these thoughts.
I will also apologize because I am not completely caught up on the thread (had to do some work today and all), so if I repeat previous posts, please go easy on me.
Without any further ado, here are some of my favorite highlights from today.
1) The quickest cycle on record. She went from apologizing to him this morning to Chimpocalypse in under an hour.
2) Dueling streams become dueling reaction channels. Never seen that one before.
3) FB getting up to dance around to remind Nader of what he was missing. Just wow.
4) FB thinking that paying rent gives her property rights to the Trap House.
5) FB finally making good on her threat to disconnect Nader's data plan while he was live, laughing with DeeDee about how big Chinny's underwear is.
6) FB denying deleting his livestream, only to later scream at him later that he's lucky she didn't delete his whole channel.
7) Nader's constant troony jokes at Peetz
FB trying to insult DeeDee by calling her a librarian. As if the sexy librarian trope doesn't trump the 400lb monstrosity that she is.
9) Nader dubbing Mo, FauxMo.
10) Nader getting the fact that he and FB are not a couple on the public record.
And of course, the cherry on top: Her driving to confront him, backing down and driving away, only to turn around and sit outside his house honking pathetically, till the cops arrived to rescue the CPAP. Nader had a deathgrip on his chef's knife when the cops knocked on the door, and I was certain there was going to be a tazing. Then Nader accidentally streamed the whole interaction with the cops (including doxing his own phone number) because either he or DeeDee was too incompetent to use the mute button, only for Nader to hand over a broken CPAP, which he claimed she stepped on (probably during one of her early-morning sneak-outs).
Imagine, if you will, this scene: The cops get called (for what the fifth time?), only to find what looks like a white walrus in her puffy jacket, sitting in her car, hoking and screaming at her phone. Then these hard-working public servants get greeted at the door by a man screaming in broken English about his deleted videos and how he wants his videos back! After finally retrieving the remains of the long-lost CPAP, they leave the house. Here, I propose what might have happened back outside.
It's dark. Red and blue lights flash while a dishevelled troll breathes heavily, terrified that the police will catch on that she is stoned.
Enter cops, stage left.
Cop 1:
[Present the treasure to the fuming troll] Here's your breathing machine back ma'am. Hopefully this helps with the wheezing.
Troll: He's so mean to me, you don't understand guize! He's drinking wine in there with a LIBRARIAN! They're drinking my wine!
Cop 1: Sorry ma'am, there's nothing we can do about that. This is his house. You're getting worked up and winded again.
Troll: But I paid the rent! That means I'm allowed in whenever I want!
Cop 1: Sorry ma'am that's not how leases work.
Troll: Well, at least will you at least go back and get my filthy underwear and lingerie? I have a hot date with FauxMo.
Cop 2: You want filthy lingerie for a date?
Troll: It's still cleaner than what I'm wearing now!
Cop 1: It doesn't matter. We didn't see any underwear or lingerie when we were getting the breathing machine. There were some discarded circus tents on the floor, but nothing that a human would consider underwear.
Troll: REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Once again, thank you all for sharing this magical night. See you when the subpoenas come in!
