Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Sonic T]

How much did your dozen grills cost your wife, Jack?

Don't forget all those Wish dot com pots and pans. I mean, all the review units he was given from legitimate companies that are dying for the input of a stroked out retard with a failed YouTube channel.

 

[AnOminous]

I think eggs are pretty entry level for everybody. Being able to cook an egg means you have some skill as minimal as it is.

What Saddam did in the Gulf War was potatoes compared to what Jack did to that boil-egg-in-a-bag abomination.

*source: Rob and Should I Series the only confirmed buyers………none of you were crazy enough to buy Jacksauce, right???

I've seen some anon OPs on /ck/ claim to have bought it, some with pictures. The mods usually nuke Ja/ck/ threads though. I think it might just be one of the more autistic mods since they sometimes go hours and occasionally survive long enough to scroll off the catalog of natural causes.

A lot of these are bullshit spam threads all using the same image of Jacksauce, shitposting by praising the sauce, and just shitposting in general. You see the repulsive image of the sauce from Should I a lot too, the one with what looks like snot on top of it.

I've seen at least one thread though where someone actually legit cooked with it.

I'd imagine there's a certain niche market for it as a gag gift. It's certainly massively overpriced especially when it compares unfavorably to the Sweet Baby Ray's you can get for a buck. And somehow, he has taken something as simple as barbecue sauce and made it visually repulsive with a thin sheen of slime on top of it.

 

[Kosher Salt]

What the fuck does that even mean, "I always wanted to know what 9 felt like". It feels cold Jack, cold like your dead arm.

To be completely fair, to someone who lives in a place where "bitter cold" means an overnight frost warning, 9 degrees F is unthinkably, face-numbingly cold. (And similarly, to someone who thinks that 9 degrees is bitterly cold, -40 would be "don't go outside or you'll literally die.")

 

[rubytintedchix]

To be completely fair, to someone who lives in a place where "bitter cold" means an overnight frost warning, 9 degrees F is unthinkably, face-numbingly cold. (And similarly, to someone who thinks that 9 degrees is bitterly cold, -40 would be "don't go outside or you'll literally die.")

My solution would be: don’t go outside, but we know Jack can’t avoid hitting Arby’s again for the fourth time this week. He’d rather damn near freeze to death just to get brisket in his gaping maw.

 

[need a user name]

I've seen some anon OPs on /ck/ claim to have bought it, some with pictures. The mods usually nuke Ja/ck/ threads though. I think it might just be one of the more autistic mods since they sometimes go hours and occasionally survive long enough to scroll off the catalog of natural causes.

A lot of these are bullshit spam threads all using the same image of Jacksauce, shitposting by praising the sauce, and just shitposting in general. You see the repulsive image of the sauce from Should I a lot too, the one with what looks like snot on top of it.

Possibly one of the most compelling things I have ever seen was a Jack webm on 4chan some years ago. It must have been posted on /gif/ or /wsg/, since there was sound. I've asked over there a handful of times but to no avail. Wonder if anyone here knows the one I mean.

The video was simply a compilation of Jack's most infamous moments from the California days, set to the song Wise Up by Aimee Mann.

Here's a shoddy recreation that still gave me the feels:

Mix of 2 videos from youtube : jack scalfani wise up v1

Mix of 2 videos from youtube : jack scalfani wise up v1

www.youtubemultiplier.com

 

[TheLazyMan]

Program Note: The "Jack On The Go" show will henceforth be called "Jack In The Arby's" show, sponsored by Burger King.
Yes, Burger King! When you think of Jack and his family enjoying food, please....think Arby's. For the Love of God.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Archive:

A nearly 10min video to show us how to bake cookies. Where would we be without Jack?

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Archive:
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A nearly 10min video to show us how to bake cookies. Where would we be without Jack?

Dude is still claiming to still be on Profile by Sanford. What a great success story for the brand.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Fun fact: Butter softens if left at room temperature.
It will then mix in evenly and you, loyal farmer, won't have to use your unstroked out arms to jam it in to cake mix like a fucking retard.

 

[salmonellajack]

Still on Profile by Sanford

 

[Joycondrift]

"We're on a special diet plan"

"Anyway here's a cookie recipe using a box of cake mix a pack of cream cheese and a whole stick of butter"

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Fun fact: Butter softens if left at room temperature.
It will then mix in evenly and you, loyal farmer, won't have to use your unstroked out arms to jam it in to cake mix like a fucking retard.

Yeah but that takes planning ahead and that takes time out of chimping out on Facebook and finding recipes to steal from.

What's with his obsession of "cooking at room temperature"? It's like he heard that was a thing for cooking steak and decided EVERYTHING needs to be brought to room temperature, even cookie ingredients. And he didn't even follow his own advice. WTF.

"OK guys, now you know all I care about is honesty on this show. If I screw up, I'll own it, alright?" Bullshit.

 

[Adamska]

Archive:
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A nearly 10min video to show us how to bake cookies. Where would we be without Jack?

Dishonest manbaby makes entire video as an excuse to eat cookies and to pretend that the diet he's stopped bothering to pretend to follow and which he never followed in the first place is still going on.

Trying to own the haters by pretending that Sanford is still taking your calls when you're too retarded to even fake the right portion sizes and months after quitting it is a new level of retarded for him. @rubytintedchix ; for next stream could you highlight that on a news segment, and then show on video how Jack DOESN'T follow Sanford's diet plan at all by just showing portions?

 

[captkrisma]

Oh fuck I just shit out another recipe roulette. It took only 15 minutes to make and is much more healthy than shitty cookies. Overall production time to include shopping was 1.5 hours.

Same cookbook because I got lazy, but same RNG process, barring I omit the pages already I already used.

One thing I noticed is that you can film the RNG process ahead of time over multiple cookbooks and prep for the selected meals, which I guess is cheating, but not really? It's still a random page number. Anyways, Jack will avoid this one like the plague as well since it involves a big leafy veggie.

 

[Adamska]

Actually, because this pathological liar is trying this fucking bullshit again, here's a video of a woman going through her own diet plan using the same service!

Notice how the serving size of all of these are in GRAMS on the thumbnail? Because I do!

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Room temperature butter for the worst pie crust imaginable

Edit
Does Jack not have a proper stand mixer? Three pressure cookers, ten smokers...

zero stand mixers?

Or are we too lazy to lift them onto the counter?

 

[EvilDroid64]

Archive:
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A nearly 10min video to show us how to bake cookies. Where would we be without Jack?

We don't see you, bistro sign.

 

[A Duck Selling Lemonade]

I had Subway cookies once, they were horrible. Very pungent taste of margarine, as least in my country. Can't be difficult to make better cookies than fucking Subway.

 

[desudesu]

We don't see you, bistro sign.

Wow we actually managed to get the manbaby angy enough to banish the Bistro sign (along with the Your Opinion is not in the Recipe sign). Incredible. At first I thought it's a temporary removal for the whole retarded Christmas thing, but now it seems like its official.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Don't see his issue considering it doesn't cost him personally, anything. (Because he doesn't pay taxes. (Because he doesn't make money. (Because he doesn't have a job.)))

But it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing. It doesn't matter that he doesn't make enough on his channel to have to pay taxes or that he had to buy back all his sauce from the hardware store, it's the fact that people are getting it without actually paying for it that pisses him off. I mean he's kinda paying for it because Mommywife is the one that pays the taxes and that means he's only able to get 11 double bacon cheeseburgers instead of a dozen like he wanted! If everybody paid for their own way then Mommywife could buy him his dozen double bacon cheeseburgers AND get him a large shake with it as well. He's the real victim here.

Archive:
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A nearly 10min video to show us how to bake cookies. Where would we be without Jack?

He's still saying that he's on Profile by Sandford? Bitch please! Mushbrain was supposed to have lost 100 pounds by now. And if anything he's gained five. And it's because of shit like this and the need to eat fast food that he's like this.

EDIT:

Room temperature butter for the worst pie crust imaginable

Or biscuits. You need your butter to be COLD when making biscuits or a pâte brisée.