Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[King Dead]

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Why do people insist that each movie they see must be connected to a dozen others they already saw? Is it a sunk-cost fallacy thing?

I like how Bobby claims that there have been "like...4" Marvel movies "over the last 2 years" as though we wouldn't have had six or eight if not for the coof delaying everything that was going to come out in 2020. Presumably he's trying to subtly claim that there isn't MCU oversaturation, but seriously, look at the future release schedule:

Three scheduled for this year, another three next year, with room for a fourth later in the year if Disney thinks they can squeeze another in. We're rapidly approaching an average of one MCU capeshit flick every three months, not to mention how they keep dumping TV shows in between releases. If that ain't oversaturation, I don't know what is.

I have a few rambling thoughts on Bob and the internet (YouTube in particular):

So, Bob has been on YouTube since 2006. He posts about once a week, and barely cracks 20k views on many videos, and only rarely gets more than 30k views.

By comparison, Internet Historian (the main channel) has been on YouTube since 2017 (or 11 years after Bob joined), posts about once or twice a year, and regularly gets millions of views (his lowest-viewed video has only 1.2 million views, or about as many views as Bob's last 47 videos, combined.) Incognito Mode regularly gets views in the millions, even though videos are only uploaded once every two months.

(Apologies to Internet Historian for comparing him to Moviebob. You don't deserve that.)

And on the subject of the terminally online, there's another channel on YouTube called OwO. You'd expect a channel with a name like that to be weebism incarnate, but no. OwO (a member of YouTube since 2019) goes to popular videos on YouTube and comments on them, frequently getting hundreds or even thousands of upvotes, and even has a subreddit dedicated to figuring out more about the guy. Unlike Bob, who denies he has an internet addiction, OwO candidly admits to spending 12 hours a day on the internet because they have that much free time. Also, unlike Bob, OwO is by all accounts a nice person with a sense of humor.

Anyway, these are just my rambling thoughts. I'll take my puzzle pieces now.

There's a reason I keep using Critical Drinker as a comparison, and why he's probably a better contrast to Bob than Internet Historian. He releases videos on the same subject as Bob, he has a frequent upload schedule (when's the next main channel vid, IH), and he also derives much of his funding from Patreon. Drinker also got started only a few years ago (over a decade after Bob), but in that time he's blown past him in pretty much every metric:

• Drinker recently passed the million subscriber mark on Youtube. Bob hasn't gained subs in over two years, and currently sits at 133k.
• Drinker gets six-digit views on all his videos, usually above 500k, and that's within days of being posted. Bob hasn't had a six-digit video in over three years, and rarely even cracks 50k views anymore.
• Drinker does frequent collabs with other Youtubers on his second channel, and those videos get decent viewcounts for being a couple hours of film discussion. Aside from being used for his ability to autistically read Wikipedia articles, Bob hasn't done a collaboration since...shit, has he ever?
• Drinker makes almost $1k a month more on Patreon than Bob, and does so with fewer patrons. His is also on an upward trend, while Bob's been on a steady decline ever since the Lindsey blowout.
• Oh yeah, and since Twitter is Bob's lifeblood, Drinker's almost at 100k followers there, while Bob's dipped below 30k and is still bleeding out.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: for this being his "job," Bob is really bad at it.

 

[ChampFantana]

Though I can picture him going into a tard rage and trying to fist fight if he ever got told at a restaurant that NO, they cannot batter dip and deep fry the green bean side dish with his order of bacon wrapped ham.

Say what you will about Boogie, but Francis was a character. Bob is a real life Francis, a fat, stupid, tard-raging manbaby.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: for this being his "job," Bob is really bad at it.

Here's how bad he is:

Moviebob's Channel
Videos - 833
40,464,397 views

Critical Drinker
Videos - 273
235,867,387 views

Moviebob Average views - 48,577 per video
Drinker's Average views - 863,983 per video

 

[make_it_so]

You, know Bob could probably make his numbers better if he dropped the obnoxious fucking "talk like a chipmunk at a hundred miles per hour run on sentence" format and instead narrated his videos like a normal fucking human being.

 

[Terra Pax]

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Bob's second invocation of the moon landing in a week - as well as all of the other times.

The moon landing is one of Moviebobs actually genuine sacred cows. As we were reminded earlier, Moviebob did once consider (maybe he even did) vote Republican for John McCain back in the day. He's not actually a life-long dem shill. But what he does have is a fantastical belief in how things should be, and he will support anything that he believes will achieve that. It is quite seriously a melange of Star Trek and Epcot. The moon landing is a great example of his lack of actual thought or reflection on anything he espouses. The US space programme, which Bob has always slavered over, was a product of national chauvinism against the USSR, and a back door way of funding ballistic missile development. Yet Bob will wax so much about how nationalism is bad and impedes the process of scienceTM development - literally because Star Trek. Troonery, gays, race, Bob doesn't actually have a sincere conviction in any of it. He would annihilate the southern United States tomorrow, irrespective of it's non-white population, if it achieved his desires.

This is Moviebob, an overgrown impotent baby who wants his starships and robots because that's what he was promised by popular culture. All this other bullshit is set dressing around that, commented upon on impulse and without a moment of actual rational thought.

 

[JayHarrison]

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Moviebob's color-coded spirit animal sidekick: Fecal-brown slig (half sloth, half pig).

---

Even Glenn Greenwald commented on the M&Ms bullshit. As usual Bobby is on the side of the Multinationals.
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And thus spoke Moviebob, Technocratic Corporatist.

---

"They go outside"?
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The outside is still calling, Bobby.
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In fairness to Moviebob, it's difficult to imagine his current avatar looking like anyone other than one of the Toy Story villains.

---

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That's what the House of Representatives is for, you dipshit!

---

I wonder what Bobby thinks the age of consent is.
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Have a on me bro!

I'll chip in a couple orders' worth of pretzels.

---

Turns out that Bobby's and Chris's rock-n-roll idol died from the white-trash disease:
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Moviebob's already defecating into Meat Loaf's casket, I see.

---

Hamsters in Hong Kong are found to be infected by the covid virus and are implicated for human outbreaks.
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Ever thinking in movie clichés, Bobby has less problem-solving skills than a hamster.

Not only that, Bob's problem-solving skills are even worse than a hamster's droppings.

---

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Darwin wasn't alive when Moviebob was born. That explains... quite a bit, actually.

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Cartoon syringe: "Fuck it. Die then."

Reality: "Oh, you mean against a virus with a 99% survival rate? Thanks, but no, you arrogant prick."

---

First we flew to the Moon; next we make men and women interchangeable.
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Saying Moviebob's a person is an objective falsehood.

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ACLU are fighting for teachers' right to groom kids and make them hate themselves.
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I thought neither race nor gender has anything to do with Science?

Moviebob: "I am [...] nostalgic for the [...] days when [the ACLU] would defend... [checks notes] ...the Klan."

Reality: "Of course, you would, Bob. The Ku Klux Klan was created by your beloved Democratc Party, after all."

---

Yet perversely, Bobby hangs on to "that was the way we were" when it suits his argument:
View attachment 2908542

How twenty years have changed from "even if you oppose the Iraq War, we'll still accept you" to "if you don't agree to taking a Covid vaccine, you're not welcome any more".

---

[Moviebob would] make Curly Howard look like Bruce Lee.

I can go beyond that: Moviebob would make Stephen Hawking look like Bruce Lee!

---

...Bob could probably make his numbers better if he dropped the obnoxious fucking "talk like a chipmunk at a hundred miles per hour run on sentence" format and instead narrated his videos like a normal fucking human being.

Better yet, Moviebob could actually start cleaning up his act by not acting like a 1:1 reincarnation of Adolf Hitler.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1484351471017598983

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But kill who Mr Chipman? We already know well and full that you want almost half the country dead and gone so that's not really a trade in this Faustian bargain.

Late but even then, does Bob really think any TV producer would want to hire some retarded hateful movie reviewer to write a series for one of the most major IPs out there. Who does Bob think he is....oh right he's the same dumbass who thinks he'll get first priority when space travel becomes more common.

Even Glenn Greenwald commented on the M&Ms bullshit. As usual Bobby is on the side of the Multinationals.
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"They go outside"?
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The outside is still calling, Bobby.
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Stuff like this shows Bob really has nothing productive going on in his life if he really needs to defend the honor of M&M's cringeworthy attempt to be progressive. Like Bob does not understand the real reason most people find it cringe is that no one outside of the most autistic of people care about the M&M mascots.

 

[Red Hood]

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Blockbuster is to Chris as Mario is to Bob.

Imagine simping a shitty corporate video store so hard.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

I will never understand why Movieblob doesn't support MTG's idea of a national divorce.

Like, if you hate Republicans that much, why would you not support a proposal that would get them out of your country?

Sure, we should dominate nature and impose our morality on anything. Let me know how well that goes down when you try to larp as an environmentalist.

There used to be a time when the ACLU was a liberal organisation that had an absolutist stance on free speech, a bit like today. Want to march through a Jewish neighbourhood with a Nazi flag? The ACLU would defend you. Want to put a crucifix in a tank full of piss and call it art? The ACLU would defend you. I don't agree with that kind of free speech absolutism, but I respect them for holding true to their principles. The modern ACLU is not that; it's a leftist organisation that thinks only some groups have the right to free speech.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I like how Bobby claims that there have been "like...4" Marvel movies "over the last 2 years" as though we wouldn't have had six or eight if not for the coof delaying everything that was going to come out in 2020. Presumably he's trying to subtly claim that there isn't MCU oversaturation, but seriously, look at the future release schedule:
View attachment 2909184
Three scheduled for this year, another three next year, with room for a fourth later in the year if Disney thinks they can squeeze another in. We're rapidly approaching an average of one MCU capeshit flick every three months, not to mention how they keep dumping TV shows in between releases. If that ain't oversaturation, I don't know what is.

There's a reason I keep using Critical Drinker as a comparison, and why he's probably a better contrast to Bob than Internet Historian. He releases videos on the same subject as Bob, he has a frequent upload schedule (when's the next main channel vid, IH), and he also derives much of his funding from Patreon. Drinker also got started only a few years ago (over a decade after Bob), but in that time he's blown past him in pretty much every metric:

• Drinker recently passed the million subscriber mark on Youtube. Bob hasn't gained subs in over two years, and currently sits at 133k.
• Drinker gets six-digit views on all his videos, usually above 500k, and that's within days of being posted. Bob hasn't had a six-digit video in over three years, and rarely even cracks 50k views anymore.
• Drinker does frequent collabs with other Youtubers on his second channel, and those videos get decent viewcounts for being a couple hours of film discussion. Aside from being used for his ability to autistically read Wikipedia articles, Bob hasn't done a collaboration since...shit, has he ever?
• Drinker makes almost $1k a month more on Patreon than Bob, and does so with fewer patrons. His is also on an upward trend, while Bob's been on a steady decline ever since the Lindsey blowout.
• Oh yeah, and since Twitter is Bob's lifeblood, Drinker's almost at 100k followers there, while Bob's dipped below 30k and is still bleeding out.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: for this being his "job," Bob is really bad at it.

Drinker also has a recognizable gimmick, he's humorous and generally keeps his politics to a minimum. He is unique and has his own brand.

Moviebob is a relic of a bygone era (dare I say, obsolete?) where he was one of the few Internet Nerds (TM) in the early days of Web 2.0, but has now faded into an over-saturated market dominated by people with better charisma and unique, memorable characteristics.
Aside of (derogatory) memes about his Mario obsession, his Hot Dog Girl stalking and his genocide fantasies; what actually does MovieBob offer as a film reviewer that others don't?

Stuff like this shows Bob really has nothing productive going on in his life if he really needs to defend the honor of M&M's cringeworthy attempt to be progressive. Like Bob does not understand the real reason most people find it cringe is that no one outside of the most autistic of people care about the M&M mascots.

Bob is just going along with it for the proggie good-boi points. Honestly Bobby probably shares some close characteristics with similar lolcow Linkara, and I don't think anyone here would be surprised if "Green M&M" came up in Bobby's porn search history prior to Big Sugar rebranding her to a xir.

 

[Koby_Fish]

I will never understand why Movieblob doesn't support MTG's idea of a national divorce.

Like, if you hate Republicans that much, why would you not support a proposal that would get them out of your country?

Sure, we should dominate nature and impose our morality on anything. Let me know how well that goes down when you try to larp as an environmentalist.

There used to be a time when the ACLU was a liberal organisation that had an absolutist stance on free speech, a bit like today. Want to march through a Jewish neighbourhood with a Nazi flag? The ACLU would defend you. Want to put a crucifix in a tank full of piss and call it art? The ACLU would defend you. I don't agree with that kind of free speech absolutism, but I respect them for holding true to their principles. The modern ACLU is not that; it's a leftist organisation that thinks only some groups have the right to free speech.

Moviebob doesn't support the idea of a "national divorce" for the same reason he doesn't think borders should be a thing. The MAGA CHUDs in Ghoul Wastelands will be minecrafted by Soopeeryah Deathfat Squads who will herd them into Wyoming like a herd of hoof-n-mouth cattle in Hud.

 

[dzonatan]

It's still ironic that the country the left simped hardest for in the 60's and owe a fair chunk of their bad governmental decisions to by trying to emulate the sociopolitical dogma of, became their bitterest enemy.

Not because those policies failed and not because the country fell apart as a result, but because the Russians didn't "love them back" by going full progressive. And modern hard leftists in the US treat it like an embarrassing racist old Uncle at the family reunion.... ashamed at what he became because he used to "be somebody they (sic) admired" .

The only thing a dogmiatic mind abhors more than a heretic is an apostate.

Russia is near-continent sized apostate of marxism who history and scale shows why its a horrible idea.

 

[King Dead]

I will never understand why Movieblob doesn't support MTG's idea of a national divorce.

Like, if you hate Republicans that much, why would you not support a proposal that would get them out of your country?

Because it's not enough for leftists (and those with authoritarian fantasies who align with leftists, like Bob) to have the people they hate out of sight and out of mind. They can't stand the thought of someone actually being allowed to exist without their moral and intellectual betters ruling over them. They don't just want to get rid of their enemies, they want to force them to submit. Can't they see how much better off they'll be if they simply do everything the intelligentsia tell them to?

I could paste the C.S. Lewis quote about tyranny here, but you all already know it.

 

[JayHarrison]

I will never understand why Movieblob doesn't support MTG's idea of a national divorce.

My guess is that, if there is a divorce between red states and blue states, Massachusetts is screwed, and Moviebob won't be make his patented nuclear-green mountain Dew Chicken wihtout paying steep import fees.

Like, if you hate Republicans that much, why would you not support a proposal that would get them out of your country?

Because he believes not supporting such a proposal makes him look like a "good guy".

There used to be a time when the ACLU was a liberal organisation that had an absolutist stance on free speech, a bit like today. Want to march through a Jewish neighbourhood with a Nazi flag? The ACLU would defend you. Want to put a crucifix in a tank full of piss and call it art? The ACLU would defend you. I don't agree with that kind of free speech absolutism, but I respect them for holding true to their principles. The modern ACLU is not that; it's a leftist organisation that thinks only some groups have the right to free speech.

As I've said in the past, ACLU now stands for "Anti-Constitution Litigation Unit".

 

[EnemyStand]

Keep in mind their black and white morality when it comes to a national divorce. The only other time in history we had one was when the Confederates seceded to keep their slaves. Ergo, that's the only reason why Republicans want to secede. To them, right wingers want the right to be evil, racist murderers and will pass laws in a new secession that will allow them to hunt and murder trannies, faggots, and niggers for sport. They live in a Saturday morning cartoon version of reality. Never mind we'd just ship them to Bluezakistan since they love those freaks so much.

 

[Neko GF]

I've said it before, I'll say it again: for this being his "job," Bob is really bad at it.

You could even say that he's "obsolete". But that implies that he was ever needed/ wanted.

In addition to his awful reputation as a eugenics loving political sperg, his videos editing style is laughably outdated. His videos feel like a time capsule to 2015.

Outdated and hated. Robert's hopes of being a well-known and liked critic ended a long, long time ago.

 

[Lensherr]

There's a reason I keep using Critical Drinker as a comparison, and why he's probably a better contrast to Bob than Internet Historian. He releases videos on the same subject as Bob, he has a frequent upload schedule (when's the next main channel vid, IH), and he also derives much of his funding from Patreon. Drinker also got started only a few years ago (over a decade after Bob), but in that time he's blown past him in pretty much every metric:

• Drinker recently passed the million subscriber mark on Youtube. Bob hasn't gained subs in over two years, and currently sits at 133k.
• Drinker gets six-digit views on all his videos, usually above 500k, and that's within days of being posted. Bob hasn't had a six-digit video in over three years, and rarely even cracks 50k views anymore.
• Drinker does frequent collabs with other Youtubers on his second channel, and those videos get decent viewcounts for being a couple hours of film discussion. Aside from being used for his ability to autistically read Wikipedia articles, Bob hasn't done a collaboration since...shit, has he ever?
• Drinker makes almost $1k a month more on Patreon than Bob, and does so with fewer patrons. His is also on an upward trend, while Bob's been on a steady decline ever since the Lindsey blowout.
• Oh yeah, and since Twitter is Bob's lifeblood, Drinker's almost at 100k followers there, while Bob's dipped below 30k and is still bleeding out.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: for this being his "job," Bob is really bad at it.

I’m not a fan of Critical Drinker personally (his taste in movies is too normie for my liking and he rarely talks about movies that aren’t mainstream blockbusters), but he’s still an infinitely better reviewer than Bob and at least seems like a fun guy to hang out with. Also, any time he dunks on the Half-Price Harkonnen, it’s fucking gold.

I will never understand why Movieblob doesn't support MTG's idea of a national divorce.

Like, if you hate Republicans that much, why would you not support a proposal that would get them out of your country?

People like Bob don’t believe in live and let live. They have a desire to dominate and impose their beliefs on to others. And I believe that they’re scared of the possibility of a separate nation of American conservatives would turn out more prosperous than a nation run by left-wing policies. As such, they want to prevent the possibility of that happening and crush any such uprising in the grave before it happens. They don’t seem to care about how much bloodshed and carnage that they’d bring about, as long as their desire for control and domination is sated.

There used to be a time when the ACLU was a liberal organisation that had an absolutist stance on free speech, a bit like today. Want to march through a Jewish neighbourhood with a Nazi flag? The ACLU would defend you. Want to put a crucifix in a tank full of piss and call it art? The ACLU would defend you. I don't agree with that kind of free speech absolutism, but I respect them for holding true to their principles. The modern ACLU is not that; it's a leftist organisation that thinks only some groups have the right to free speech.

It’s crazy to me how the ACLU has morphed from a principled defender of free speech to an organization that essentially operates off of Carl Schmitt’s friend/enemy distinction, which is what MovieBob basically believes as well. Carl Schmitt, by the way, was an actual fucking Nazi (as in, he was a card-carrying member of the party when it existed in its original form).

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

I saw this out in the wild and immediately thought of Bob.

 

[TowinKarz]

Bob's second invocation of the moon landing in a week - as well as all of the other times.

The moon landing is one of Moviebobs actually genuine sacred cows. As we were reminded earlier, Moviebob did once consider (maybe he even did) vote Republican for John McCain back in the day. He's not actually a life-long dem shill. But what he does have is a fantastical belief in how things should be, and he will support anything that he believes will achieve that. It is quite seriously a melange of Star Trek and Epcot. The moon landing is a great example of his lack of actual thought or reflection on anything he espouses. The US space programme, which Bob has always slavered over, was a product of national chauvinism against the USSR, and a back door way of funding ballistic missile development. Yet Bob will wax so much about how nationalism is bad and impedes the process of scienceTM development - literally because Star Trek. Troonery, gays, race, Bob doesn't actually have a sincere conviction in any of it. He would annihilate the southern United States tomorrow, irrespective of it's non-white population, if it achieved his desires.

This is Moviebob, an overgrown impotent baby who wants his starships and robots because that's what he was promised by popular culture. All this other bullshit is set dressing around that, commented upon on impulse and without a moment of actual rational thought.

Give him a magic monkey paw, ask him if he'd like it if Alabama never existed.... while still high on the excitement of being able to actually disappear that which displeases him? He'll shout YES!!!! GET RID OF THOSE RACIST HICKS!!!!

*a finger curls*

Now, about the Moon landings you love so much...

What Moon landing? Bob?

When you wished away Alabama you also got rid of the Redstone Arsenal and the Huntsville Space & Rocket Center, without those, we didn't get to the Moon.

 

[BaconBoobs]

Late but even then, does Bob really think any TV producer would want to hire some retarded hateful movie reviewer to write a series for one of the most major IPs out there. Who does Bob think he is....oh right he's the same dumbass who thinks he'll get first priority when space travel becomes more common.


Stuff like this shows Bob really has nothing productive going on in his life if he really needs to defend the honor of M&M's cringeworthy attempt to be progressive. Like Bob does not understand the real reason most people find it cringe is that no one outside of the most autistic of people care about the M&M mascots.

Mars feels the need to make M&Ms more progressive? Why for what reason they are just tiny chocolate circles? Anyone no matter their gender and race can become a fat fuck by eating this crap already. Whats next race swapping the Pringles Guy?