Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Dread First]

"Sofro calado, na solidão. Guardo comigo a memória do teu vulto em vão. Eu fui tão bom pra você. E o resultado? desilusão," - Andy Warski probably (Oh wait, he ain't Brazilian).

Spoiler: TL

"I suffer in silence, in solitude. With me, I keep the memory of your figure. In vain, I was so good to you. And the result? Disillusion."

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

So Portugal could be fun…. In summer.

During winter, (like most Mediterranean/Southern Europe) its considered “off season” and it’s just depressing, beaches are empty, no one attempts to speak English as all the Brit and Gers are not there. It’s almost Soviet at times during the colder months (like right now).

Its been a very long time since I was there, but I remember the crime is bad, like just snatch your bag off you in daylight bad. Granted one of the good things about going during off time is the Africanos are not gonna be prowling stoplights to jack man purses.

Oh and people talking about him getting a prostitute, well as it’s possible, again it’s off-season so nobody is walking the street and looking for gringos to service.

Such a retarded way to “own” Andy. I just know that ralph‘s idea was he’s going to take a picture of himself on a Sunkist beach holding a piña colada wearing shades surrounded by beautiful women in bikinis. When in reality he’s going to at best maybe find a pub that services ex-pats and befriend a fat 56 year old Brit who’s just gonna cry about Brexit and get into an argument about splitting the tab.

 

[I'mma real anime gurl]

So is one of the fucking conditions of his sentience is not going out of the country?

 

[RazorBackBacon]

it'll discourage the prostitutes

But why would Gunty want to do that? Are the hookers in Portugal unclean or do they just steal your wallet? Asking for a friend.

 

[AnOminous]

So its safe to say that Ralph is only going because of that one superchat mentioned the loophole when is comes to sexpat. But how does the US government find out about these people who go to these countries with a low age of consent just to fuck?

Same way they'd do it here, CIs and snitches and just looking at what obvious American idiots are going into a known child brothel. They're pretty limited in what they can actually do without the explicit permission of the host government, though. I think something like that is how they caught Gary Glitter, well, that and him just being a notorious pedo over all of Southeast Asia in general.

 

[MeltyTW]

Imagine spending thousands of dollars to "get back" at the retarded phoenix.

and finding out your wincon of visiting portugal before them is busted because you didnt actually check to see if they never visited there or just hadnt got to moving there, i think ralphs going to have to move to portugal fully to truly own us.

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Lol vaccine lmao

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

My god this is fantastic. I can’t believe one man can be this fucking stupid. Andy’s live stream broke his piggy brain.

He better post lots of photos of his fat white pasty ass doing that dumb finger pointing all alone on a beach in Lisbon. Let’s hope we will get a Gunt Part 3, Lisbon edition appearance.

He’s packed his Ralph Lauren Member’s Only style jacket, his fake timberline with lifts, his designer sunglasses and of course his Louis Vuitton (oh wait I mean Armani lol) vinyl purse. Ralphamale is ready guys!

Also, LMAO at once again leaving May’s dumb pregnant ass at home alone - and after a vicious finger gun diaper drive by!!!

I thought all his trips to Vegas to escape her were hilarious, but leaving the country because the internet made fun of him is a whole other level. I wonder if for one tiny second when Dax told Gunt “lol no I’m not going you moron” May hoped her baby daddy would take her along.

LMAO, have fun sitting home alone “supporting Ralph’s passion” and caring for two pant shitting screaming infants May, you earned it!

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

Does this only apply to US citizens, or do Europeans get arrested too, if they (let's say) fucked their underage GF and went on a vacation to the US? Age of consent <18 is law in a lot of countries, but usually with strings attached so greasy old gunts don't try to play sugardaddy.

US citizens. Uncle Sam does not give a rotten fuck about Citizens if other countries. (Thiugh he should and y'all should get the rope.)

 

[AncientPhosphur]

The third Ralph demon child Portugal edition when

 

[Hydro Thunder: Hurricane]

I, too, leave my pregnant fiancée alone at home for a pleasure solo trip after seething mere hours ago about the danger she was in from a man whose whereabouts are unknown to me.

Unstill he posts tickets or proofs of the trip.
I'll rape a dog, it's a larp.

 

[cans.wav]

So this is what all the donation begging was for very.
Very Christ-like!

 

[Karen™]

I know "beach weather" probably has a looser definition when you're obese and have Andycels to flex on, but lol here's Lisbon's forecast btw:

 

[make_it_so]

One day, this will be Ralph :Airline passenger who demanded restroom assistance died on vacation in Thailand: reports

Dude, come on, at least use archive so the rest of us can read shit without being asked to turn off our ad blocks.

 

[TwinPeaksEnjoyer]

This feature thread

 

[3-2-1836]

If he fucks a 16-year-old in Portugal and then flies back to the US, the US will charge him with sexual assault of a minor. The fact that he did it in another country won't matter. Kidfuckers who fly to Thailand get arrested all the time as soon as they come back. I really hope that Ralph doesn't know about this because he will totally brag about fucking a 16-year-old if he thinks he did it legally.

I'm surprised, I thought that was only when you broke the local law or for child prostitution

He should have gone to Macau. It’s like Vegas but Chinese.

He would be denied entry due to his criminal record, he's lucky Europe generally doesn't give a fuck.

 

[GuntPunt]

He's going to make his own Andy Guntski...with Maker's Mark and hookers.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

I know "beach weather" probably has a looser definition when you're obese and have Andycels to flex on, but lol here's Lisbon's forecast btw:
View attachment 2911322

To be fair I spent a college spring break in Florida shirtless (the gunt won’t be) on the beach with weather like that. Granted it was negative degrees F back home when we departed.

 

[Slimy Time]

Most people think he is, but would never admit it. But you do bring up a good point about the status of his vaccination. While previous thread sperging about weather or not he could fly took up most of the attention, it does beg the question of weather or not he can go to any good (meaning he's at low risk of being mugged) locations. If this vaunted Casino is indeed next to an Airport, there's probably going to demand at least masks, and maybe jab verification.

edit: spelling

A 5 second search brings this up on Portugal.

III – GENERAL RULES

From 10th January

• Mandatory mask in closed spaces;
• General recommendation for regular testing and mandatory teleworking until 14th January;
• Reduction of capacity in commercial establishments (1 person /5m2)
  
  
• Mandatory EU Covid Digital Certificate in all modes or complete vaccination certificate or negative RT-PCR test or Rapid negative antigen test when accessing:
  - Tourist establishments and local accommodation;
  - Restaurants;
  - Cultural shows;
  - Events with reserved seats;
  - Gyms.
  
  
• Mandatory negative test or recovery certificate, except for those who have already been vaccinated with a booster dose of the vaccine for at least 14 days, when accessing:
  - Bars and clubs (from 14th January);
  - Big events;
  - Visits to care and nursing homes and health facilities.
• Closing of bars and clubs until 14th January
• Prohibition of alcohol consumption on the street

RT-PCR Test, laboratorial Rapid Antigen Test or supervised selftest performed at entrance accepted.

So he's going to be masked up a lot and also will have to bring his PCR test around wherever he goes. Idk what the time on that test is, but going by other Euro countries, probably only valid for 48 hours or something like that. The odds on Gunt, who lives like a complete pig, losing or forgetting his PCR test slip is probably high, which means losing his ability to do anything.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Portugal is actually pretty nice minus the fat anglo tourists