Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Rei is shit]

Portugal has officially been Gunted.

 

[Product Intervention]

I hope Ralph tries to speak Spanish to someone while he's there.

 

[malleusmaleficarum]

can't wait to see the retarded dish he orders from an american chain restaurant

 

[Tom Myers]

Over under on a single killstream next week?

 

[NegerJäger]

''I TELL YAH WHUT GAYDOUR, DIS CUNTRY OF PORT-YOU-GAUL IS PURDY SWEET, THE PILOT OF THE AIR-E-O-PLANE RECONGISED ME AND SAID HE WAS A BIG FAN OF DA KILLSTREAM AND MOVED ME PUT TO FIRST CLASS! LIVIN AS A KING, ALMOST LIKE VEGAS

GONNA GO FIND WARSKIS WHORE SISTER AND RALPHAMALE HER UP A LITTLE, HOES CANT RESIST THE KING OF THIS WHOLE DAM SECKTOR, GAYDUR.''

Aehnd theyn I'll do ma behst Jokuh laugh!

 

[Kramer on the phone]

She'd would have happily packed her bags in five minutes if Ethan asked her to go. She's desperate for Ralph to take her anywhere and stop leaving her alone in their rental full of empty boxes and animal poop. This is a woman who sat alone and pregnant on NYE while her fat redneck boyfriend spent time in Vegas with hookers. She's a spineless and walks on eggs shells around the gunt.

We would think getting rid of Ethan for a few days would be a blessing, but May is entire existence revolves around the attention drippings of the fat failed podcaster she lets use her as a cumrag.

All that said I don't think the Gunt is going anywhere which is a damn shame. I really want him to spend thousands of dollars and ten hours on a plane just because he was cyber-bullied by Andy.

its her own fault. she's still a white woman in richmond. all she has to do is make a tinder put DTF in profile and boom. revenge. She keeps the pics and footage for when she's genuinely ready to destroy Ralph and leaks a thumb video of her own. Ethan would committ seppuku when he sees it. I'm genuinely surprised Ethan even has sex with May. you don't expect fat people to have a sex drive and May isn't one to get it up.

LMAO, she’s not going to birthing classes because Ralph won’t go. She’s the type of dumb bitch who will watch a few YT birth tip videos and be more worried about what she’s going to wear to the hospital and getting her vag waxed. Then when she’s in active labor, hysterical and can’t follow basic instructions the doctor will just eventually say “fuck it” and order a c-section just to get rid of her.

Luckily Ralph will be bowling in Texas or convincing himself a $500 hooker in Vegas really loves him so he won’t have to deal with the hassle. Momma Morris will probably be the one in the delivery room with her wondering how she failed so epically and her daughter ended up unmarried and pregnant by a fat laughingstock known as The Gunt.

I'm sorry we're not all experts on controlling our cunts the way nurses/strippers are. Some of us aren't used to fists and baby sized-objects up our twats.

Also you'd have to be a fucking idiot to think her parents will be there in the delivery room.

Andy has extended family there and has visited a dozen times. He also speaks Portuguese.
Ralph's entire premise was "I'M GONNA VISIT BEFORE THIS SUTTERING RETARD JUDAS SNAKE DOES". Go figure.


Decreased average height by 9 inches.

wouldn't it be funny if Andy was considered Frasier Crane-esque eloquent in portuguese. his rambling shitty comedy made him in open micer in canada but if he just fucked off over there he'd end up being considered a Dennis Miller/Jon Stewart level intelligent hardworking comic.

Honestly i imagine Portugal is just a bunch of people with Warski level intelligence.

 

[3-2-1836]

How much y'all wanna bet he's too stupid to realize he needs to change his simcard to connect to the internet there? We might not even hear from him until he connects to the hotel wifi in 10 hours

 

[bongaloid]

Looking forward to the Brazilian troon hoe with a big knife arc,

 

[FFinfo]

I'm confused, is @Kramer on the phone not May? I don't keep up with meta stuff on the boards much so I have no idea. If it is:

its her own fault. she's still a white woman in richmond. all she has to do is make a tinder put DTF in profile and boom. revenge. She keeps the pics and footage for when she's genuinely ready to destroy Ralph and leaks a thumb video of her own. Ethan would committ seppuku when he sees it. I'm genuinely surprised Ethan even has sex with May. you don't expect fat people to have a sex drive and May isn't one to get it up.

This is the funniest cope I've seen all day. May got pregnant by the gunt, she cannot and will not ever have a W on the man short of aborting the retort this weekend while he's away. Ralph doesn't care if she fucks everybody in Richmond now, he's got proof he fucked her (their guntling) and doesn't even want to be within 1,000 miles of her horse face anymore.

 

[HumanHive]

I hope Ralph tries to speak Spanish to someone while he's there.

“Portuguese” isn’t a real language. It’s a creole between Spanish and Lustanian.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

With how much Ethan’s bragging about this trip like it’s an own, you’d think he flew first class. But we all know his broke ass could barely scrape together the high APR card credit to fly coach. What a fucking loser.

 

[Product Intervention]

“Portuguese” isn’t a real language. It’s a creole between Spanish and Lustanian.

You made those words up.

 

[Postal Pippa]

If gunt doesn't get covid from this I'm gonna be seriously dissapointed. Corn either way though.

 

[3-2-1836]

“Portuguese” isn’t a real language. It’s a creole between Spanish and Lustanian.

It's such a non language when they had their language reform in the 90s to harmonize the different versions a vast majority of changes to standard Portuguese actually aligned it with Brazilian Portuguese over Lisbon Portuguese.

 

[MeltyTW]

its her own fault. she's still a white woman in richmond. all she has to do is make a tinder put DTF in profile and boom. revenge. She keeps the pics and footage for when she's genuinely ready to destroy Ralph and leaks a thumb video of her own. Ethan would committ seppuku when he sees it. I'm genuinely surprised Ethan even has sex with May. you don't expect fat people to have a sex drive and May isn't one to get it up.

we dont have video proof or proof of child to show theyve ever actually had sex and mays words contradict the idea to faith. we can only assume ralph is a cuck.

e's got proof he fucked her (their guntling)

nah its a possibility that its faked and we havent seen convincing proof it exists and may could very easily abort it and say it never existed or even give birth and claim its not his. if ralph doesnt have a gunt tape with her hes basically fucked himself on trying to own the alogs in showing he can rape horses.

 

[Disheveled Human]

Ralph got his ass beat so fucking bad Friday night he fled the fucking country.

 

[HumanHive]

You made those words up.

I did not.

Lusitanians - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Kramer on the phone]

I'm confused, is @Kramer on the phone not May? I don't keep up with meta stuff on the boards much so I have no idea. If it is:

This is the funniest cope I've seen all day. May got pregnant by the gunt, she cannot and will not ever have a W on the man short of aborting the retort this weekend while he's away. Ralph doesn't care if she fucks everybody in Richmond now, he's got proof he fucked her (their guntling) and doesn't even want to be within 1,000 miles of her horse face anymore.

you can still abort up until birth, when's the supposed due date?

 

[Product Intervention]

I did not.

Lusitanians - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Pretty sure you did.

 

[Hazel Motes]

Forgive the picture as I am in a bus station recovering from a night shift.

The Gunt is landing. I can just imagine his fat arms reaching over a sleeping passanger to take the photos.