Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 789 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,388
Hello Friends,

Happy Sunday. Hope we all caught ep 37 of "The Boys' Club" this week. In case you missed it, here are some highlights.
I hope you're not eating anything when you watch. If the...Scrapple grinding doesn't nutshot your appetite, the Pie contest damned will.

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We had one local mexican food place that's been around for 40 years, Robert Irvine put it on his show and said it was one of the most disgusting kitchens he had ever seen.
I prefer just not to think what's going on in the kitchen of a restaurant I like. I know one of my favorite Chinese restaurants was seemingly getting shut down by the health department every few months.
 
I present Lazy Man’s Pork Chops. Featuring a call to Food Network.
I'm all for making fun of Mushbrain and the atrocities he cooks, but Duckman here shows his lack of knowledge when it comes to cooking rice. While the stuff that Mushbrain made looks like absolute dogshit, sauteeing your rice in butter or oil before cooking is a staple when making certain dishes like risotto or pilaf. It introduces a toasted flavor to the rice and it helps it to cook a little faster. Okay you're a difference of maybe five minutes here but it's still five minutes faster.

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There are so many people that appear in these videos, and never appear again. I'm sure people don't return because they don't want to be a toy for Jack to play with in one of his videos But where do they keep coming from? Is there any information about the source of this constantly rotating cast of characters Jack has access to? Does he just ask around at the murder church dinner social, flexing his corpse of a YouTube channel in the vain hope that they will see it as some kind of opportunity?
They're obviously from the Murderchurch but, why is everybody that appears with Mushbrain on camera so fat? Is it to make him feel better that he's in good company or so they literally not know and hang out with people that are, you know, not hambeasts?

Jack you became a murder church weirdo because your wife told you to.
When was the last time this fat sack of shit thought for himself?
 
Does he just ask around at the murder church dinner social, flexing his corpse of a YouTube channel in the vain hope that they will see it as some kind of opportunity?

I wish we could actually calculate the average number of seconds it takes Jack to reference his YouTube channel when he meets a new person. I’m betting it comes up when he has the opportunity to introduce himself: “Nice to meet you, I’m Jack. Oh, oop - sorry - ignore that - that’s my watch going off with the notifications again because I have a YouTube channel The Cooking with Jack Show. These guys won’t leave me alone for a second, haha.”


some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

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What’s his deal with donuts all the time? It’s his go-to example of food that will kill you. Is it because his friend who died did the video with him doing a donut burger review? I just love that that the man cannot fathom someone being perfectly healthy and able to enjoy a donut without immediately going into cardiac arrest.
 
What’s his deal with donuts all the time? It’s his go-to example of food that will kill you. Is it because his friend who died did the video with him doing a donut burger review? I just love that that the man cannot fathom someone being perfectly healthy and able to enjoy a donut without immediately going into cardiac arrest.
It's because donuts are the stereotypical "unhealthy fat person" food which is why Jack brings it up.
 
I wish we could actually calculate the average number of seconds it takes Jack to reference his YouTube channel when he meets a new person. I’m betting it comes up when he has the opportunity to introduce himself: “Nice to meet you, I’m Jack. Oh, oop - sorry - ignore that - that’s my watch going off with the notifications again because I have a YouTube channel The Cooking with Jack Show. These guys won’t leave me alone for a second, haha.”




What’s his deal with donuts all the time? It’s his go-to example of food that will kill you. Is it because his friend who died did the video with him doing a donut burger review? I just love that that the man cannot fathom someone being perfectly healthy and able to enjoy a donut without immediately going into cardiac arrest.
gluttons like jack simply can't grasp the concept of moderation

he sees someone eating a donut and figures they eat donuts every day or that they're going to eat half the box because that's what he would do. to jack there's only starvation and shoving pounds of food down your throat. there's no in between. he also loves bringing up donuts because of his "sugar is evil" shtick that he refuses to let go of
 

What a weird fucking video.

Why the fuck you would coat baked chicken in sweet cereal..and only sweet cereal.

"Did you think it would be good?

"Yes"- Jr in between slurping his own fingers

"Oh I didn't think it would, I took a sneak peek out of the oven and it was awesome"

Wat.

Jack thought the overbaked unseason chicken sucked but part of his brain remembered he was filming a paid sponsor video.

Only part jr tasted was the fucking coating. Which was literally just cereal.
 
While the stuff that Mushbrain made looks like absolute dogshit, sauteeing your rice in butter or oil before cooking is a staple when making certain dishes like risotto or pilaf.
Agreed, and it's literally on the instructions for Rice-a-Roni, too. I usually saute aromatic rices like basmati in butter first, too, before adding the water. The way he did it with linguine was repulsive though, and so is the way he blasted this current dish up to high without constantly stirring it, so it was unevenly browned.

And the cardinal crime was boiling pork chops. Who the fuck told him that was good? Those must have been like flavorless shot leather.
 

What a weird fucking video.

Why the fuck you would coat baked chicken in sweet cereal..and only sweet cereal.

"Did you think it would be good?

"Yes"- Jr in between slurping his own fingers

"Oh I didn't think it would, I took a sneak peek out of the oven and it was awesome"

Wat.

Jack thought the overbaked unseason chicken sucked but part of his brain remembered he was filming a paid sponsor video.

Only part jr tasted was the fucking coating. Which was literally just cereal.
It doesn't seem like that bad of an idea. Waffles and chicken were popular for a while, and cinnamon is an excellent spice for North African Savouries. Chicken with a honey and cinnamon or maple syrup and cinnamon glaze is awesome. Someone actually competent could do a good sweet and savory breading with cinnamon toast crunch.

What was bizarre about that video was the body language. Fat Boi Cali was leaning as far away from Jack as he could possibly get and was biting his lips counting down the seconds before he could get away from Jack. As soon as he could, Junior ran away

Instead of talking to Junior about how to eat a chicken piece like a civilized human being while on camera, Jack berated him, giving the impression Jack thought Jr was too stupid to have an opinion on chicken.

PC&TL acted like Jr is an irredeemable glutton for eating that Burger King Burger in seven bites, but in that video and this video we see Jr can't stand to be in Jack's presence. I think Jr eats like a wolf so he can be excused from the table as quickly as possible. If the hamburger or chicken is eaten, he can't be expected to have any more opinions, and can get away from Jack.

Both are assholes. I just hate to see the sins of the father vesting onto the child.
 
Hello Friends,

Happy Sunday. Hope we all caught ep 37 of "The Boys' Club" this week. In case you missed it, here are some highlights.
I hope you're not eating anything when you watch. If the...Scrapple grinding doesn't nutshot your appetite, the Pie contest damned will.

View attachment 2912636 View attachment 2912640
Just saying there needs to be merch available that says “We CU Piggy” and various other catchphrases!

some stroke logic for you all. imagine being such a retarded waste of oxygen that you associate touching a door handle to wearing a mask

and lol @ jack talking about being "worried about your health"

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Truly wise words from Jack ‘Mushbrain’ Scalfani, world’s renowned economist AND epidemiologist who is able to conjure such insights with a gimp arm and busted leg!

Edit: format
 
Extremely high cringe factor in that video entirely caused by Jack's narcissism and using his son as a prop in his video.

It's the 30th anniversary of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the taste you can see! Jack is stunned at just how much time has slipped away since the 90s. Jack begins the video by saying he 'got a call from Cinnamon Toast Crunch' and not General Mill's, the company that owns and produces that cereal.

Jack immediately puts Jr. on the spot, asking him what his own video is about. It's so obvious Jack never does anything to rehearse his videos because Jr. clearly does not know that Jack is about to ask him this. Jack likely does this to gain narc supply from making other people out to be useless idiots while he paints himself as a master chef, in total control of his workspace.

Once Jr.'s usefulness in the video has passed, he dismisses his son with the phrase: "You're gonna' go away." Jr. walks away despondent, and Jack is totally unable to comprehend why his son is giving him the cold shoulder.

Jack then demonstrates a profound lack of creativity at the prospect of doing a dessert, ya know, the kind of recipe one would likely use cinnamon for. Dismissing the notion outright with the phrase: "I wanna do meat." Making a dessert would likely require Jack think about how the ingredients combine with one another to produce the over all dish and that would require time and effort and talent. So instead, Jack decides to just grind up some Cereal, and dunk the chicken in it after glazing it with egg. He then bakes it in the oven and calls it a day.

Jack spends an extortionate amount of time with an introduction to a food processor with a whopping two settings on it. We are then subjected to Jack struggling to figure out how these two buttons operate the speed of this food processor for almost a full minute of this six and a half minute video.

Jack is unable to say the word Cinnamony. This is something that any other youtuber would cut as a mistake but Jack seems to think it makes him seem genuine to flub his lines on camera. Something he constantly berates other people for while not even part of a video, just trying to live their lives.

At the end Jack calls Jr. over and tells him to "take a monster bite." Jr. then takes a small bite of the chicken. Jack then tells his son that the bite that he took was too small, he wants him to show everybody the forbidden Scalfani food diver technique, clan Scalfani is so famous for. Jr. concedes and takes a huge bite out of the chicken. Jack is shocked! How could his son eat in such a disgusting manor? And on camera no less! Jack berates his son for "eating like an animal" even though he specifically forced him to eat exactly like that. What a cunt.
 
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