Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 195 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 785 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,383
Either way, I do kinda agree the beyond/impossible gimmick is retarded. Mainly because vegans are so retarded and craving meat they'll eat this, not knowing the fats and blood from animals contaminate their overpriced famine food patty or whatever the fuck beyond's made from.
Most of these plant based meats at fast food places seem to be catered toward the vegan equivalent of people who say they are "gluten free" yet order a beer, they aren't actually celiacs or allergic in any way, they just do it because it is "trendy."

Honestly, from what celiacs have told me, the whole gluten free trend has been both a blessing and a curse for them because on one hand, they are able to get so much more gluten free stuff at regular grocery stores instead of shopping at specialty health food stores, but on the other hand, nobody takes them seriously anymore.
 
I personally had to confront some friends in moments of idiocy when they were preparing meats for grilling, by rubbing them directly on the salt pot. Had to use as much salt as possible and then throw away the rest thanks to a retard who decided to rub a piece of raw, seasoned chicken directly on the pot. Nice one, retard!
On the surface it's retarded as you're contaminating the salt but if it's salt that you're going to use for cooking purposes then it's not really that bad.

Long story short there's a reason we use salt to preserve meats. The salt kills the bacteria by drawing water out of them. Doesn't do a thing for the toxins they leave behind but if the toxins were enough to make you sick you'd be sick already from the meat you grilled. Dunno if heat destroys the toxins or not but I don't think it does.
 
I usually just instapot my rice and glop it into whatever I am making last or second to last. My rice technique isn't fancy.
I usually do basmati and the other shit I put on top is a secondary consideration. I love basmati rice, it's the only rice I'll eat with literally nothing on it.
 
I usually do basmati and the other shit I put on top is a secondary consideration. I love basmati rice, it's the only rice I'll eat with literally nothing on it.
I like my well seasoned, none boiled porkchops with rice pilaf; I make sure to scrape up the fond so I can make some simple pork gravy.

Seriously anyone that boils raw meat directly in water is a psychopath...outside of parboiling.
 
Yeah he has blasted Impossible meat despite saying it was good in his Red Robin review vid.
He hates the beyond/impossible meat trend because it reminds him of his impossible arm.

He said once that they have a bidet attachment. The context was the toilet paper shortage at the start of the pandemic and why it didnt affect them. But whenever they travel, mommywife has to do the honors i assume.
Like DSP, I'm picturing a "stool in the shower" situation. And, also like DSP, his mommy wife hoses down all the crevices.
 
This Impossible/Beyond Meat talk is reminding me of how during the massive meat shortages of 2020, After getting my chicken ration, I'd go look at the Beyond Meat and marvel at how the stock never moved over the course of months. I live near a university, so it's not like everyone is a wendigo meat eating Jack in my area. I've seen more people buying Beyond since at my job, but it's always with a coupon and they are often buying real meat with it anyway. Very rarely do I see a true and honest vegetarian/vegan haul. People will try it. It is a novelty. I just don't know if people will keep buying it.

I will say, I've tried I think Beyond tacos once at Del Taco. Just made me want Red Beans and Rice from Popeyes, because that's exactly what it tasted like. I'll eat Boca occasionally but I don't pretend that it's real beef. If I want beef, I want beef.

As for Jack, vegetarian alternatives are thought of as a girly or gay thing, and he's not either! REAL MEN eat meat! Kinda like how REAL MEN don't watch romance movies with their wives. Gotta make sure he comes across as a REAL MAN! Fragile masculinity is just as pathetic as toxic masculinity.
 
This Impossible/Beyond Meat talk is reminding me of how during the massive meat shortages of 2020, After getting my chicken ration, I'd go look at the Beyond Meat and marvel at how the stock never moved over the course of months. I live near a university, so it's not like everyone is a wendigo meat eating Jack in my area. I've seen more people buying Beyond since at my job, but it's always with a coupon and they are often buying real meat with it anyway. Very rarely do I see a true and honest vegetarian/vegan haul. People will try it. It is a novelty. I just don't know if people will keep buying it.

It's simply not worth it. They are very heavily processed to the point that simply eating burgers and nuggets is actually the healthier choice, and the taste isn't all that either. There are plenty of good meals that are vegan and/or vegetarian and are tastier than that shit!

Jack is the kind of man that overcompensates on everything to make up for his own flaws. A real man knows he needs to address and face his own flaws, but Jack doesn't. Jack can watch as many action flicks as he wants, eat the largest steaks available and he will still be less of a man than a guy who likes flowers and poems but owns up to his responsibilities and isn't an abusive pile of horseshit!

Most of these plant based meats at fast food places seem to be catered toward the vegan equivalent of people who say they are "gluten free" yet order a beer, they aren't actually celiacs or allergic in any way, they just do it because it is "trendy."

Honestly, from what celiacs have told me, the whole gluten free trend has been both a blessing and a curse for them because on one hand, they are able to get so much more gluten free stuff at regular grocery stores instead of shopping at specialty health food stores, but on the other hand, nobody takes them seriously anymore.
That and lardballs like Jack. A little fun fact is that a meal consisting of a large portion of french fries, a big gulp soda, and an impossible burger is just as vegan as a salad with roasted vegetables on the side and some croutons, so this is why obese vegans can and do exist!

Anything that becomes a trend ends up distorted to the point of becoming a mockery precisely because you get shit quality products in the middle of it thanks to the Jacks of the World that want to be trendy while not knowing fucking anything about the products themselves!

jack strikes me as the type of person who thinks that only gay people wipe their asses, and therefor has never fucking wiped to le ebicly own da haters XDDDD
He is an overcompensator, so yes. His insecurity is glaring, same as Fat Boy Qali's, so they overcompensate by acting like colossal fucking assholes!

Liking "girly" things doesn't make one less of a man, if anything it's being a colossal asshole to someone instead of addressing your own insecurity is what makes one less of a man. Grow up and stop being an abusive asshole, Jack!
 
As for Jack, vegetarian alternatives are thought of as a girly or gay thing, and he's not either! REAL MEN eat meat! Kinda like how REAL MEN don't watch romance movies with their wives. Gotta make sure he comes across as a REAL MAN! Fragile masculinity is just as pathetic as toxic masculinity.
This actually reminds me of a similar experience. Way back when I went to the movies with a friend, his brother and one of his brothers friends. We were planning on seeing Blade 2(bullet dodged) but it was completely sold out and while the strong alternative of Resident Evil was a strong second choice the next showing wasn't for awhile. That's when the brothers friend suggest out of all the other choices to see 40 Days and 40 Nights; and despite some collective bitching about a rom-com it won out in the end.

And it wasn't fucking awful.

It wasn't great but it was entertaining and that's what mattered to me. I barely remember it now but I do recall laughing quite a bit. Jack most certainly bitched the entire time until Tammy silenced his gob with snacks. If the only thing these two share in common is food it's a real strong indicator of why they're always eating and more so a reason why Tammy doesn't try and stop him...she knows this is a spiral and he's one more stroke away from deadtime or comaland.
 
It's simply not worth it. They are very heavily processed to the point that simply eating burgers and nuggets is actually the healthier choice, and the taste isn't all that either. There are plenty of good meals that are vegan and/or vegetarian and are tastier than that shit!
If you don't eat the real thing, the cows died in vain!

*Incidentally, I find it humorous that you can get impossible bullshit in India, where the cow is sacred. I won't even pretend to know what the attitude is over there w.r.t. impossible meat, but the fact that it exists over there implies there's a market. Jesus Christ, all you fucking vegetarians and petaphiles and dotheads, just have a fucking big mac.

(Or a much better hamburger.)
 
So don't know if anyone posted this before but I think I found the video that shows why Jack is is the way he is. Basically Jack has a severe drinking problem and that's why whenever he cooks with alcohol he claims he doesn't drink. In this video he puts over 2 cups of hard liquor into the "eggnog" and doesn't bat an eye when he drinks it, he even claims to not taste any alcohol even though the recipe is, lets say 7 cups of liquid total and 2 of those being the booze. Now i am no expert but spent more than enough time at a bar to know when a drink consists of 28ish percent alcohol you are gonna taste it period.
 
I usually do basmati and the other shit I put on top is a secondary consideration. I love basmati rice, it's the only rice I'll eat with literally nothing on it.
Gonna have to give that a try. I got a bag of Basmati in my rice stash. Haven't used it before. Usually I get plain old white rice.
 
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So don't know if anyone posted this before but I think I found the video that shows why Jack is is the way he is. Basically Jack has a severe drinking problem and that's why whenever he cooks with alcohol he claims he doesn't drink. In this video he puts over 2 cups of hard liquor into the "eggnog" and doesn't bat an eye when he drinks it, he even claims to not taste any alcohol even though the recipe is, lets say 7 cups of liquid total and 2 of those being the booze. Now i am no expert but spent more than enough time at a bar to know when a drink consists of 28ish percent alcohol you are gonna taste it period.
Jack went Sandra Lee with this classic video. Making eggnog is pretty simple and you just put in a bit of booze if youd like (you can use a 5-1 ratio eggnog to brandy if you like. Also this idiot has no ideas pasturized eggs exist and can be used but would it be that big of a pain in the ass to temper your dairy and egg mixture? Almost every recipe calls for slightly heating up your mix but Jack decides to go equal parts dairy, raw eggs and alcohol and figures its fine. ty

Its been speculated that Jack has had issues with alcohol in the past since. He has seemed buzzed in a few early videos and his story of him walking full speed into a stop sign can give you an idea of how drunk he was to do that. Im sure once they made the move to where they are now and ramped up the faux christian attitude Jack traded one vice for another and doubled down on his food intake. He tends to buy alcohol in large quantities for recipes despite the recipe calling for a small amount and him saying he does not drink (like buying a fifth for a dessert or a 6 pack for chili). Hes always been an unhealthy lazy fuck but post move is where he started collection medical issues and not giving an inkling of a shit. Id imagine a drunk Jack now would be the a fucking horrible experience.
 
Jack went Sandra Lee with this classic video. Making eggnog is pretty simple and you just put in a bit of booze if youd like (you can use a 5-1 ratio eggnog to brandy if you like. Also this idiot has no ideas pasturized eggs exist and can be used but would it be that big of a pain in the ass to temper your dairy and egg mixture? Almost every recipe calls for slightly heating up your mix but Jack decides to go equal parts dairy, raw eggs and alcohol and figures its fine. ty

Its been speculated that Jack has had issues with alcohol in the past since. He has seemed buzzed in a few early videos and his story of him walking full speed into a stop sign can give you an idea of how drunk he was to do that. Im sure once they made the move to where they are now and ramped up the faux christian attitude Jack traded one vice for another and doubled down on his food intake. He tends to buy alcohol in large quantities for recipes despite the recipe calling for a small amount and him saying he does not drink (like buying a fifth for a dessert or a 6 pack for chili). Hes always been an unhealthy lazy fuck but post move is where he started collection medical issues and not giving an inkling of a shit. Id imagine a drunk Jack now would be the a fucking horrible experience.
To play Devil's Advocate, you can pick up a sixer of Lagunitas at Wal-mart, but you can't get singles.
 
So don't know if anyone posted this before but I think I found the video that shows why Jack is is the way he is. Basically Jack has a severe drinking problem and that's why whenever he cooks with alcohol he claims he doesn't drink. In this video he puts over 2 cups of hard liquor into the "eggnog" and doesn't bat an eye when he drinks it, he even claims to not taste any alcohol even though the recipe is, lets say 7 cups of liquid total and 2 of those being the booze. Now i am no expert but spent more than enough time at a bar to know when a drink consists of 28ish percent alcohol you are gonna taste it period.

I see Jack has always been big on really scraping the shit out of the mixing bowl with his utensils. I thought maybe that was a development of using his non dominant hand, but no.

Also: Simonella
 
So don't know if anyone posted this before but I think I found the video that shows why Jack is is the way he is. Basically Jack has a severe drinking problem and that's why whenever he cooks with alcohol he claims he doesn't drink. In this video he puts over 2 cups of hard liquor into the "eggnog" and doesn't bat an eye when he drinks it, he even claims to not taste any alcohol even though the recipe is, lets say 7 cups of liquid total and 2 of those being the booze. Now i am no expert but spent more than enough time at a bar to know when a drink consists of 28ish percent alcohol you are gonna taste it period.
Note: You're supposed to fucking temper the eggs in eggnog last I checked. So he just drank a holiday themed Amber Moon, aka an Egg Shot.

But yeah, he's an alkie. He once got so drunk he slammed face first into a stop sign and cried buttery tears over losing his hamburger over the amount of injury he did while blindingly drunk.Note he was embarrassed about losing food, not for being so drunk he slammed into an inanimate and brightly colored object.
 
Note: You're supposed to fucking temper the eggs in eggnog last I checked. So he just drank a holiday themed Amber Moon, aka an Egg Shot.

But yeah, he's an alkie. He once got so drunk he slammed face first into a stop sign and cried buttery tears over losing his hamburger over the amount of injury he did while blindingly drunk.Note he was embarrassed about losing food, not for being so drunk he slammed into an inanimate and brightly colored object.
I've said it before, but your sense of self-preservation will almost always kick in before you get injured, especially if you're hitting something with your head. You'll pull back, put a hand up, something to prevent actual damage to the brain. Jack said he hit it hard enough it made a clear metallic sound. That to me says he ran into it as in he picked up his little manlet legs in rapid succession as he careened into a sign.
 
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